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                            If He Drinks White Claw and Wears a Fleece Vest, He Might Just Be a Finmeme Influencer
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Target, Tumblr, and Blog: bonnieventure:
missoutontheprize:

 

the end of eva

        

            
            

                
                
                    Target, Tumblr, and Blog: bonnieventure:
missoutontheprize:

 

the end of eva

                    
                
            

            
                
                
bonnieventure:
missoutontheprize:

 

the end of eva


                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Denny's, Disney, and Fire: halleregina
 Okay now that I've finally quit Denny's let me tell you guys about the bizarre
 fucking otherworld it is
 The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate.
 Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I've never
 heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version
 of Let it Go.
 Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the
 repairman said he couldn't find anything wrong with it.
 People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking
 lot multiple times a week.
 It's open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until
 there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree
 knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could
 weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even
 happening.
 Regular customers included:
 A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate
 pieces of literature on the subject
 A little person named Kevin who told me "sometimes I call myself a
 dwarf when I'm feeling whimsical"
 An actual group of Neo-Nazis
 An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
 o
 Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they
 were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
 A Scottish landscaper who told us we "couldn't prove he doesn't
 know Simon Pegg"
 I have more these are just off the top of my head
 halleregina
 I can't believe I forgot
 two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel
 is bisexual or not
 I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he
 said "No, I'm not a socialist"
 
        

            
            

                
                
                    Denny's, Disney, and Fire: halleregina
 Okay now that I've finally quit Denny's let me tell you guys about the bizarre
 fucking otherworld it is
 The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate.
 Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I've never
 heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version
 of Let it Go.
 Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the
 repairman said he couldn't find anything wrong with it.
 People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking
 lot multiple times a week.
 It's open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until
 there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree
 knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could
 weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even
 happening.
 Regular customers included:
 A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate
 pieces of literature on the subject
 A little person named Kevin who told me "sometimes I call myself a
 dwarf when I'm feeling whimsical"
 An actual group of Neo-Nazis
 An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
 o
 Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they
 were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
 A Scottish landscaper who told us we "couldn't prove he doesn't
 know Simon Pegg"
 I have more these are just off the top of my head
 halleregina
 I can't believe I forgot
 two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel
 is bisexual or not
 I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he
 said "No, I'm not a socialist"
 
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Being Alone, Beautiful, and Bodies : I can build an inpenetratable wall
 around Asgard. Only thing I want as payment
 is the goddess of love, Freya..
 Okay everybody, calm down.
 This isn't the first time a jotun
 wanted me for his bride
 I'm used to this problem by
 now and we just gotta-
 and the beautiful Sun and sexy Moon.

 YOU WANT ME AS PART OF A HAREM!!?!?!
 I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISRESPECTED!!!!
systlin:
would-we-be-friends-if-i:

thehmn:

In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themselves and a jotun only known as The Builder offers to make it in exchange for Freya, Sun and Moon. Freya gets rightfully pissed and refuses (no word on Sun or Moon’s feelings about this), so Loki turns into a female horse and lures The Builder’s horse away, causing all work on the wall to stop. Because he can’t finish the wall The Builder has to leave without Freya, Sun and Moon. Loki disappears for 9 nine months and returns with an eight-legged foal (yes, he had sex with the horse and got pregnant. I know you all love that part). The end.
For some reason people often leave out that The Builder wanted Sun and Moon too, and English translations often translate it to “the sun and moon” as if he wanted the heavenly bodies, but no, he wanted the goddess and god responsible for said heavenly bodies. He absolutely intended to have sex with all of them which is why a lot of translations leave out Moon because ew that’s gay.
Freya didn’t want to marry a Jotun, let alone as part of a god damn harem me thinks.


Hoooold up are you telling me the Sun is female in Norse myth? Cuz its usually male, across other mythology. 

Yep. Mani is the god of the moon, and Sol is the goddess of the sun in Norse myth. 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Being Alone, Beautiful, and Bodies : I can build an inpenetratable wall
 around Asgard. Only thing I want as payment
 is the goddess of love, Freya..
 Okay everybody, calm down.
 This isn't the first time a jotun
 wanted me for his bride
 I'm used to this problem by
 now and we just gotta-
 and the beautiful Sun and sexy Moon.

 YOU WANT ME AS PART OF A HAREM!!?!?!
 I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISRESPECTED!!!!
systlin:
would-we-be-friends-if-i:

thehmn:

In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themselves and a jotun only known as The Builder offers to make it in exchange for Freya, Sun and Moon. Freya gets rightfully pissed and refuses (no word on Sun or Moon’s feelings about this), so Loki turns into a female horse and lures The Builder’s horse away, causing all work on the wall to stop. Because he can’t finish the wall The Builder has to leave without Freya, Sun and Moon. Loki disappears for 9 nine months and returns with an eight-legged foal (yes, he had sex with the horse and got pregnant. I know you all love that part). The end.
For some reason people often leave out that The Builder wanted Sun and Moon too, and English translations often translate it to “the sun and moon” as if he wanted the heavenly bodies, but no, he wanted the goddess and god responsible for said heavenly bodies. He absolutely intended to have sex with all of them which is why a lot of translations leave out Moon because ew that’s gay.
Freya didn’t want to marry a Jotun, let alone as part of a god damn harem me thinks.


Hoooold up are you telling me the Sun is female in Norse myth? Cuz its usually male, across other mythology. 

Yep. Mani is the god of the moon, and Sol is the goddess of the sun in Norse myth. 

                    
                
            

            
                
                
systlin:
would-we-be-friends-if-i:

thehmn:

In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themse...

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Mariah Carey, Tumblr, and Blog: Bernie
c-bassmeow:

Why isn’t Bernie facing Mariah Carey? If he wants my vote for 2020 he better explain this. 
        

            
            

                
                
                    Mariah Carey, Tumblr, and Blog: Bernie
c-bassmeow:

Why isn’t Bernie facing Mariah Carey? If he wants my vote for 2020 he better explain this. 
                    
                
            

            
                
                
c-bassmeow:

Why isn’t Bernie facing Mariah Carey? If he wants my vote for 2020 he better explain this. 

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s
 A dating service where matching is based
 people's search history exists. You're a serial killer.
 You go on a date with a writer.
 endreams-s
 Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill
 someone, how would you do it?
 Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a
 heart attack.
 Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks
 in a breath* ok
 fangoddess817
 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to
 potentially stab someone in the guts
 Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
 Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
 December C) Baby
 infinityonthot
 A++ addition
 tetsuskitten
 Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene
 they're writing* babe, i'm not sure if this would
 actually work?
 Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and
 leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood
 coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great
 tigerliliesandcherryblossoms
 I LOVE THIS
 vmohlere
 Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
 laziestofthedreamers
 I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does
 the author know? Like are they aware that their
 significant other is a serial killer or do they just think
 that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be
 even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like
 how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly
 gullible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime
 novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop
 or something so it's completely normal for them to
 come home smelling like blood, no murders going on
 here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home
 from a long day at work.
 Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed
 to get their first book published, with loving support
 from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all
 the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that
 detective with the local police department has
 noticed some disturbing similarities to several active
 cases, including details that were never released to
 the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior
 and convinces him that there's something to the
 theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes
 out the author's home and is super convinced that
 the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do
 anything??? Like they literally are at the house all
 day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
 So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the
 author for creative murder schemes, the author
 being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and
 finally the detective who is just so sure that the
 author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long
 enough he'll FINALLY have proof.
 annieutimagines
 Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go
 out so it gets sub what personal.
 "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a
 serial killer."
 Serial killer breaths in. "Look-"
I love this so much
        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s
 A dating service where matching is based
 people's search history exists. You're a serial killer.
 You go on a date with a writer.
 endreams-s
 Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill
 someone, how would you do it?
 Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a
 heart attack.
 Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks
 in a breath* ok
 fangoddess817
 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to
 potentially stab someone in the guts
 Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
 Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
 December C) Baby
 infinityonthot
 A++ addition
 tetsuskitten
 Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene
 they're writing* babe, i'm not sure if this would
 actually work?
 Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and
 leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood
 coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great
 tigerliliesandcherryblossoms
 I LOVE THIS
 vmohlere
 Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
 laziestofthedreamers
 I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does
 the author know? Like are they aware that their
 significant other is a serial killer or do they just think
 that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be
 even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like
 how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly
 gullible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime
 novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop
 or something so it's completely normal for them to
 come home smelling like blood, no murders going on
 here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home
 from a long day at work.
 Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed
 to get their first book published, with loving support
 from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all
 the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that
 detective with the local police department has
 noticed some disturbing similarities to several active
 cases, including details that were never released to
 the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior
 and convinces him that there's something to the
 theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes
 out the author's home and is super convinced that
 the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do
 anything??? Like they literally are at the house all
 day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
 So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the
 author for creative murder schemes, the author
 being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and
 finally the detective who is just so sure that the
 author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long
 enough he'll FINALLY have proof.
 annieutimagines
 Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go
 out so it gets sub what personal.
 "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a
 serial killer."
 Serial killer breaths in. "Look-"
I love this so much
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Halloween, Meme, and Pets: An early Halloween meme just for your pets! Hold your dog up to the screen first see if he laughs
        

            
            

                
                
                    Halloween, Meme, and Pets: An early Halloween meme just for your pets! Hold your dog up to the screen first see if he laughs
                    
                
            

            
                
                
An early Halloween meme just for your pets! Hold your dog up to the screen first see if he laughs

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Bitch, College, and Tumblr: Trump wondered why Mount
 |Vernon isn't named after
 |George Washington. Here's
 why.

 By Gillian Brockell
 April 10 at 9:37 AM
 President Trump was not impressed with a tour of the first
 commander in chiefs home last year, Politico reported
 Wednesday, describing his visit to Mount Vernon with French
 President Emmanuel Macron and their wives as "truly bizarre."
 "If he was smart, he would've put his name on it," Trump
 reportedly said. "You've got to put your name on stuff or no one
 remembers you."
 On the subject of whether anyone remembers George
 Washington, The Washington Post, which is based in the capital
 city of Washington (not Washington state) near George
 Washington University, would refer readers to the fact that
 Washington has come in first or second in nearly every "best
 presidents" poll conducted, including the most recent one, in
 2018, by Siena College Research Institute. Trump, in case you're
 wondering, came in 42nd out of 45 commanders in chief.
marloweseyeball:

squided:

amanda-fior:

randomslasher:

bethanyactually:
*googles ‘how to nominate reporter for Peabody Award’* x
I literally just got dehydrated from all the salt in that one paragraph


I want to know who the 3 presidents are that are ranked lower than Trump


1.  Nixon (asshole)
2.  Reagan (super asshole)
3.  Zachary Taylor (died after one and a half years of presidency like a bitch)


Trump is ranked lower than William Henry Harrison, who died after just 31 days in office. He ranked lower than a man whose presidential legacy is that his inauguration speech was so damn long he gave himself pneumonia because of it and…died.
I mean, damn.

        

            
            

                
                
                    Bitch, College, and Tumblr: Trump wondered why Mount
 |Vernon isn't named after
 |George Washington. Here's
 why.

 By Gillian Brockell
 April 10 at 9:37 AM
 President Trump was not impressed with a tour of the first
 commander in chiefs home last year, Politico reported
 Wednesday, describing his visit to Mount Vernon with French
 President Emmanuel Macron and their wives as "truly bizarre."
 "If he was smart, he would've put his name on it," Trump
 reportedly said. "You've got to put your name on stuff or no one
 remembers you."
 On the subject of whether anyone remembers George
 Washington, The Washington Post, which is based in the capital
 city of Washington (not Washington state) near George
 Washington University, would refer readers to the fact that
 Washington has come in first or second in nearly every "best
 presidents" poll conducted, including the most recent one, in
 2018, by Siena College Research Institute. Trump, in case you're
 wondering, came in 42nd out of 45 commanders in chief.
marloweseyeball:

squided:

amanda-fior:

randomslasher:

bethanyactually:
*googles ‘how to nominate reporter for Peabody Award’* x
I literally just got dehydrated from all the salt in that one paragraph


I want to know who the 3 presidents are that are ranked lower than Trump


1.  Nixon (asshole)
2.  Reagan (super asshole)
3.  Zachary Taylor (died after one and a half years of presidency like a bitch)


Trump is ranked lower than William Henry Harrison, who died after just 31 days in office. He ranked lower than a man whose presidential legacy is that his inauguration speech was so damn long he gave himself pneumonia because of it and…died.
I mean, damn.

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        America, God, and Head: penfairy
 Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to
 explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a
 class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and
 loudly complained "why can't I treat everyone the same?" "
 don't want to be a Sie!" "but being friendly is respectful!
 "wouldn't using du' just show I like them?" until one guy
 conceded "I suppose maybe l'd use Sie with someone like the
 prime minister, if he weren't such a cunt" and my teacher
 ended up with her head in her hands saying "you are all
 banned from using du until I can trust you
 Cdeflare
 God help Japanese teachers in Australia.
 languageoclock
 if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is
 derinthemadscientist
 Australia's reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We
 don't even really think about it until we try to communicate or
 learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty
 standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to
 America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that
 strangers using 'sir' and 'ma'am' were sassing me.
 Australians could not be trusted with a language with
 ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms
 would immediately become synonyms for 'go fuck yourself
 and if you weren't using the most informal version possible
 within three sentences of meeting someone they'd take it to
 mean you hated them.
 hollowedskin
 100% true.
 the difference between "scuse me" and "excuse me" is a
 fistfight
 Source: penfairy
 Stay awake at FUNSubstance.com
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI
        

            
            

                
                
                    America, God, and Head: penfairy
 Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to
 explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a
 class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and
 loudly complained "why can't I treat everyone the same?" "
 don't want to be a Sie!" "but being friendly is respectful!
 "wouldn't using du' just show I like them?" until one guy
 conceded "I suppose maybe l'd use Sie with someone like the
 prime minister, if he weren't such a cunt" and my teacher
 ended up with her head in her hands saying "you are all
 banned from using du until I can trust you
 Cdeflare
 God help Japanese teachers in Australia.
 languageoclock
 if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is
 derinthemadscientist
 Australia's reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We
 don't even really think about it until we try to communicate or
 learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty
 standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to
 America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that
 strangers using 'sir' and 'ma'am' were sassing me.
 Australians could not be trusted with a language with
 ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms
 would immediately become synonyms for 'go fuck yourself
 and if you weren't using the most informal version possible
 within three sentences of meeting someone they'd take it to
 mean you hated them.
 hollowedskin
 100% true.
 the difference between "scuse me" and "excuse me" is a
 fistfight
 Source: penfairy
 Stay awake at FUNSubstance.com
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Clothes, Flexing, and Tumblr: 90's
 Power Flex Herculcs
oak23:
oak23:

that’s gay

Fellas is it gay to make a silicon muscle doll whose clothes rip off if he flexes 

        

            
            

                
                
                    Clothes, Flexing, and Tumblr: 90's
 Power Flex Herculcs
oak23:
oak23:

that’s gay

Fellas is it gay to make a silicon muscle doll whose clothes rip off if he flexes 

                    
                
            

            
                
                
oak23:
oak23:

that’s gay

Fellas is it gay to make a silicon muscle doll whose clothes rip off if he flexes 


                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save