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        Best description of sugar scrub ever.: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.
        

            
            

                
                
                    Best description of sugar scrub ever.: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        dick-rider-dave-strider:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

reference
: dick-rider-dave-strider:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

reference

        

            
            

                
                
                    dick-rider-dave-strider:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

reference
: dick-rider-dave-strider:

strangelyobsessedwithstuff:

vialsofbrightforgettingpowders:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS

YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.

NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING

NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE

GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat

reference

                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that: 2
 When my grandfather was young he owned a
 roadside motel, and my mother used to do work
 around the motel for the family. The building was old
 and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber
 were a fairly regular occurrence over there
 At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest
 checked out, so they called the plumber to come
 and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag
 of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn
 After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the
 snake
 I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing
 snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This
 isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical
 powered snake with a big motor on the back and a
 little grabby claw on the end
 So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil
 down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring
 whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it
 down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't
 happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the
 control to open the mechanical claw at the end of
 the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in
 reverse and starts to pull it back up

 By now a couple of members of the staff have
 gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the
 hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant
 machine couldn't remove. The motor is really
 straining you know that sound an electric motor
 makes when it's working really hard? The whole
 machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back
 up through the pipes and into the roonm
 Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly
 dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's
 a shower curtain,
 The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure
 out how this could have happened. It would be
 weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower
 curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the
 shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be
 even weirder if the guest had brought their own
 shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down
 the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains.
 Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with
 it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that
 the shower curtain had already been replaced, and
 then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide
 the evidence?

 While they're discussing this, the room phone rings
 The person on the other end is screaming,
 hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to
 figure out that it's the housekeeper who was
 cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the
 manage to get the story out of her:
 The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than
 spiraling down into the plumbing where it was
 intended to go, it had wound its way into the central
 line, and then back up the pipes in the room next
 door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and
 then started flailing wildly around the next-door
 bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of
 steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering
 furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless
 housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw
 opened on the end of it and snagged the shower
 curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it
 around the room until it was coiled tightly around the
 cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl
 The actual clog was never found
 10980
Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that
        

            
            

                
                
                    Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that: 2
 When my grandfather was young he owned a
 roadside motel, and my mother used to do work
 around the motel for the family. The building was old
 and they had bad pipes, so visits from the plumber
 were a fairly regular occurrence over there
 At one point they had a clogged toilet after a guest
 checked out, so they called the plumber to come
 and clean it out. The plumber came in with his bag
 of gear and set to work, but the clog was stubborn
 After a few tries, he decided he needed to get the
 snake
 I don't know if you've ever seen a serious plumbing
 snake, but the big ones are a sight to behold. This
 isn't a little crank auger, it's a full-on electrical
 powered snake with a big motor on the back and a
 little grabby claw on the end
 So he fires up the snake and sends the metal coil
 down into the pipes with the claw closed, figuring
 whatever's down there he'll just bump it a bit, push it
 down the pipes until it clears - but this doesn't
 happen either. Finally, in frustration, he twists the
 control to open the mechanical claw at the end of
 the coil, closes it on something, throws the motor in
 reverse and starts to pull it back up

 By now a couple of members of the staff have
 gathered in the room to try and tigure out what the
 hell got flushed down the toilet that this giant
 machine couldn't remove. The motor is really
 straining you know that sound an electric motor
 makes when it's working really hard? The whole
 machine is struggling to pull whatever this is back
 up through the pipes and into the roonm
 Finally, after an extended wait, the object is slowly
 dragged, sopping wet, out of the toilet bowl - and it's
 a shower curtain,
 The staff is dumbfounded. They're trying to figure
 out how this could have happened. It would be
 weird enough if the guest had ripped the shower
 curtain down and flushed it down the toilet, but the
 shower curtain in the room is still there. It would be
 even weirder if the guest had brought their own
 shower curtain to the motel and tried to flush it down
 the toilet, but it's clearly one of their shower curtains.
 Did they try and steal the shower curtain, leave with
 it, then feel guilty and come back only to find that
 the shower curtain had already been replaced, and
 then flush the shower curtain down the toilet to hide
 the evidence?

 While they're discussing this, the room phone rings
 The person on the other end is screaming,
 hysterical, so it takes a few minutes for them to
 figure out that it's the housekeeper who was
 cleaning the rooms. After a few moments, the
 manage to get the story out of her:
 The snake had missed the clog entirely. Rather than
 spiraling down into the plumbing where it was
 intended to go, it had wound its way into the central
 line, and then back up the pipes in the room next
 door. It spiraled its way up, out the toilet bowl, and
 then started flailing wildly around the next-door
 bathroom like a Lovecraftian nightmare made of
 steel, knocking things off of shelves and clattering
 furiously around the room. Then, while the hapless
 housekeeper watched in horror, a metal claw
 opened on the end of it and snagged the shower
 curtain, ripped it off the bar ring-by-ring, spun it
 around the room until it was coiled tightly around the
 cable, and dragged it back down into the toilet bowl
 The actual clog was never found
 10980
Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that
                    
                
            

            
                
                
Because a shower curtain would really go through the pipes like that

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
Save

    



        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            








        

    

    
    

        

            









    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Quagmire: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT
 OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KKNOW YOUVE
 SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND
 THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU
 WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE
 OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT
 TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
 SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKNG WHITE SUGAR AND SOME
 CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT
 SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT
 MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY
 USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO
 FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF
 VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL
 WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIE、MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD
 MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED, REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH
 TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE
 WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAY JAY PITS
 DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT
 ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB TAKE A HANDFUL OF
 THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF
 YOURS ust dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this
 in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does
 not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP
 RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD
 BECAUSE ITS WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE
 AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO
 GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKN BUT ITS ALL GREY
 RINSE OF THAT ONLY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN A NT NO
 SLIP-N-SUIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS
 ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR
 PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS
 DISMISSED
 VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
 thanks for the ip karkat
 My wife just did this and has been running around the house screaming
 IM A FUCKING GODDESS
Quagmire
        

            
            

                
                
                    Quagmire: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT
 OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KKNOW YOUVE
 SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND
 THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU
 WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE
 OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT
 TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
 SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKNG WHITE SUGAR AND SOME
 CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT
 SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT
 MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY
 USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO
 FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF
 VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL
 WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIE、MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD
 MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED, REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH
 TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE
 WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAY JAY PITS
 DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT
 ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB TAKE A HANDFUL OF
 THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF
 YOURS ust dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this
 in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does
 not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP
 RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD
 BECAUSE ITS WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE
 AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO
 GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKN BUT ITS ALL GREY
 RINSE OF THAT ONLY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN A NT NO
 SLIP-N-SUIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS
 ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR
 PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS
 DISMISSED
 VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
 thanks for the ip karkat
 My wife just did this and has been running around the house screaming
 IM A FUCKING GODDESS
Quagmire
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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