25+ Best Poison Memes | Carli Memes, Weight Memes

Poison, People, and Are: PEOPLE ARE POISON

Quite, Poison, and Take Care: DATJOEDOE My knife, you see... is coated in poision. The smallest cut can be fatal Take care. My knife... has quite a burn. I shouldn't have licked it. My knife is coated in poison

My knife is coated in poison

Drinking, Mean, and Ruler: wakeupontheprongssideofthebed Lemony Snicket voice* The word 'poison here can mean many things. Poison' may literally refer to the presence of an unwashed llama in a stream from which a nearby village likely collects its drinking water. Likewise, it may figuratively refer to the effect of greed and isolation on the priorities of a young ruler, or the machinations of a villainous royal advisor on the health and wellbeing of said young ruler. In this case, however, poison' most literally refers to the poison, the poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison... That poison. ohifonlyx33 i feel like i was just rick-rolled Lemony Snicket on Llamas

Lemony Snicket on Llamas

Heart, Poison, and You: "Maybe we'll meet again, when we are slightly older and our minds less hectic, and I'll be right for you and you'll be right for me. But right now, I am chaos to your thoughts and you are poison to my heart."

Dank, Hoe, and Nasa: UberFacts @UberFacts Pluto has a heart-shaped sea that's filled with poisonous ice. Waleed Nasir @waleednasir00 Pluto wasn't always like this, NASA rejecting it to be a planet, then accepting it and then again rejecting it like a side hoe made it's heart filled with so much poison.

Hoe, Love, and Nasa: UberFacts @UberFacts Pluto has a heart-shaped sea that's filled with poisonous ice. Waleed Nasir @waleednasir00 Pluto wasn't always like this, NASA rejecting it to be a planet, then accepting it and then again rejecting it like a side hoe made it's heart filled with so much poison Give Pluto a little more love guys

Give Pluto a little more love guys

Quite, Poison, and Take Care: My knife, you see...is coated in poison. The smallest cut can be fatal Take care. My kenife. has quite a burn. I shouldn't have lickedlit. Well that escalated quickly

Well that escalated quickly

Poison, Drink, and Not: Drink Me NOT Poison

Quite, Poison, and Take Care: My knife, you see... is coated in poison. The smallest cut can be fatal Take care. My knife... .has quite a burn I shouldn't have licked it. My knife is coated!

My knife is coated!

Drinking, Mean, and Ruler: wakeupontheprongssideofthebed *Lemony Snicket voice* The word 'poison here can mean many things. 'Poison' may literally refer to the presence of an unwashed llama in a stream from which a nearby village likely collects its drinking water. Likewise, it may figuratively refer to the effect of greed and isolation on the priorities of a young ruler, or the machinations of a villainous royal advisor on the health and wellbeing of said young ruler. In this case, however, 'poison most literally refers to the poison, the poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzcos poison... That poison Source wakeupontheprongssideofthebed Thanks Patrick Warburton for allowing us to make this joke

Thanks Patrick Warburton for allowing us to make this joke

Energy, Food, and Lay's: Zach Svobodny @ZachSvobodny I love how people make fun of me because l've never smoked weed before and I have no desire to. Sorry that I don't want to be some low-energy stoner who's always sleepy and lays on the couch eating food when meth lasts 10x longer and I actually have productive days Choose your poison wisely

Choose your poison wisely

Brain, Evolve, and Happy: siniristiriita siniristiriita koala: I WANT TO EAT EUCALYPTUS nature: NO. koala: I WANT IT nature: IT IS LITERALLY POISONOUS koala: I WILL SPECIFICALLY EVOLVE TO DIGEST IT. nature : IT SHRINKS YOUR BRAIN. koala: I DON'T WANT A BRAIN I WANT EUCALYPTUS. nature: IT WILL WEAR DOWN YOUR TEETH AND YOU WILL STARVE, AND WHEN YOU DIE, NO SCAVENGER IS GOING TO EAT YOUR ROTTING CORPSE. AND YOU WILL BE THE STUPIDEST MOTHERFUCKER. YOU STRAIGHT-UP CAN'T DO NOTHING, BECAUSE OF THE BRAIN POISON FROM THE POISON TREE. YOU GOT YOUR WAY. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? koala: YES. cat: human: No, sweetie, don't you dare cat: I WANT TO EAT PLASTIC human: SWEETIE NO 26 notes Lord, protect the stupid

United, Page, and United States: sophaea ou ever really focused on the words United States? The United States is a union of States, the several States joined together, the ave States united sassafrasjungle #the poison#the poison for ķuzco#the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco#kuzco's Olson#that poison Source: sophaea 455,409 notes Me trying to reach the essays page requirment

Me trying to reach the essays page requirment

Friends, Tumblr, and Blog: Messages baraclk Contact What should I eat for lunch? poison Delivered Send pemsylvania: pissonmekomaedakun: pemsylvania: how to properly treat friends did you just tell the president to eat poison for lunch you dont know our relationship

pemsylvania: pissonmekomaedakun: pemsylvania: how to properly treat friends did you just tell the president to eat poison for lunch you...

Evolve, Leaf, and Poison: koala: i want to eat leaf euaclyptus leaf: no dont eat me im worthless koala: no i want leaf! eucalyptus leaf: i'll poison u koala: i will specifically evolve to eat leaf eucalyptus leaf: i literally have no nutritional value koala: l e f a L e f a

L e f a

Life, Yeah, and Best: r/morbidquestions u/Outekosath 4c What poison can kill someone the slowest and most painfully? 4 14 Share BEST COMMENTS Atarashimono 4 life Reply 16 Oh yeah !!

Oh yeah !!

Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know

Chef, Kitchen Nightmares, and MeIRL: KITCHEN NIGHTMARES 6:15 DELUSIONAL Chef gives Gordan Ramsey POISON and he DIES 1 Kitchen Nightmares Kitchen Nightmares 15,337 views 1 hour ago 轟1얇1恳 NIGHTMARES meirl

meirl

Chef, Kitchen Nightmares, and MeIRL: KITCHEN NIGHTMARES 6:15 DELUSIONAL Chef gives Gordan Ramsey POISON and he DIES 1 Kitchen Nightmares Kitchen Nightmares 15,337 views 1 hour ago 轟1얇1恳 NIGHTMARES meirl

meirl

Dank, Hoe, and Nasa: UberFacts @UberFacts Pluto has a heart-shaped sea that's filled with poisonous ice. Waleed Nasir @waleednasir00 Pluto wasn't always like this, NASA rejecting it to be a planet, then accepting it and then again rejecting it like a side hoe made it's heart filled with so much poison.

Bad, Be Like, and Bitch: rachel @Rachel_Bonacoi i seriously need a job where i don't have to interact with people. I just asked a table if they were celebrating anything and when they said their dad's bday i brought them a bday table decoration and THEN they decide to tell me he's not coming cause he's datd.... I had the weirdest, longest dream last night. Some people were trying to like basically destroy the world and these monster things would pretty much just decimate every building they saw and they’d go just go one to the next and when you got killed by them you got sent to like another dimension or something but me and these three other kids found these magic like shards or something that broke off of the monsters idk and we put them together and it teleported ya back to the regular dimension like, actual earth, but everything was fixed again and so we all went to this like corner store and it was like reinforced to keep those monsters and bad guys out so we just worked there and the bad guys would come in and we had to keep fighting them. There was a lot more but it’s too hard to describe and I don’t remember a lot of it. Then the dream shifted to a spy mission and it was me and @brielarson and we had to dive into these water filled vents to get into the room but the vents were full of these fish that would like poison you and she was like ‘oh well it hurts at first but then it stops so just go’ so she would jump in the vent but then the ‘screen’ would go black and be like ‘You Died’ like in dark souls, and I was like oh my god what is this bitch doing?? And eventually after a few times I drank this weird stuff that made me immune to the poison so we got through the vents and into the room but now Brie Larson was Shakira and I forget who the ‘villain’ was but she and Shakira were seeing who could like hack something and find something through their computers the fastest except their computers were just showin GTA V so they were like lookin at license plates on cars and looking at buildings around Los Santos idk, and the villain beat shakira and I was like “:O oh no!” But then shakira was like ‘..yeah maybe you beat me but .. (and this was really dramatic here) the plants like carbohydrates ;) “ and she basically made these plants in the room grow super big and she was now Poison Ivy and (CARBOHYDRATES WHAT THE FUCK?) that’s all I remember thanks

Hoe, Nasa, and Heart: UberFacts @UberFacts Pluto has a heart-shaped sea that's filled with poisonous ice. Waleed Nasir @waleednasir00 Pluto wasn't always like this, NASA rejecting it to be a planet, then accepting it and then again rejecting it like a side hoe made it's heart filled with so much poison Pluto

Pluto

Dogs, Friday, and Scooter: Dog killer dies after pet owner rams him into a brick wall with his car The dog owner reportedly rammed him through a brick wall while the assailant tried to get away on his scooter (Picture: Asia Wire) Kate Buck Friday 19 Jan 2018 5:02 pm A man suspected of murdering dogs with poison darts was killed when a furious owner 'slammed him into a brick wall with his car. K E A NU REE VE S JOHNWİCK CHAPTER 3 You did what to his dog?

You did what to his dog?

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: ou ever really focused on the words United States? The United States is a union of States, the several States joined together, the ave y States united. sassafrasjungle: #the poison#the poison for kuzco#the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco#kuzco’s poison#that poison

sassafrasjungle: #the poison#the poison for kuzco#the poison chosen especially to kill kuzco#kuzco’s poison#that poison

Love, Poison, and Anyways: Love could be labeled poison but we'd drink it anyways. a t t i cu s

4chan, Books, and Friends: Anonymous 05/22/18(Tue)03:41:30 No.45574737 >mfw i'm finally leaving this place I finally got a job which wasn't so scary. There I'm improving my social skills, meeting both guys and girls and making friends. Started cleaning my room. The desire for 7 KB PNG reading books and doing my hobbies has come back. I started exercising again and am also eating healthier. I've lost the feeling to be unproductive by sitting on the internet all day playing video games and browsing YouTube and 4chan. Also planning my weeks now to actually achieve goals. This place is poison. See ya. xandrachantal: chauvinistsushi: talesof4chan: Robot evolves reblog to banish depressive spells

xandrachantal: chauvinistsushi: talesof4chan: Robot evolves reblog to banish depressive spells

Doctor, Head, and Horse: PH JD, 27 19 miles away active 43 minutes ago About JD I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke's strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro Man and a rare Deepwater Jew. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul.

Evolve, Leaf, and Poison: Rexi @Ukiiyo koala: i want to eat leaf euaclyptus leaf: no dont eat me im worthless koala: no i want leaf! eucalyptus leaf: i'll poison u koala: i will specifically evolve to eat leaf eucalyptus leaf: i literally have no nutritional value koala:し e f a lorf

lorf

Bless Up, Cute, and Funny: Once a lap dog, always a lap dog So a lot of you have been asking me, hey smash, when are you going to review the weighted blanket, how did it work, does it work wonders, did it fix your sleep problem?? Well it’s funny u ask! Since I got it, I’ve had two weeks of perfectly sound sleep where I close my eyes and imagine cows skipping over a fence (like happy cows on a vegan farm where all they gotta do is be cute lol) for three minutes until I doze blissfully 😍. JUST KIDDING! It made it worse a lil bit 😂. Officially said goodbye to that h0e today. I wanted it to work but like a toxic relationship sometimes You idealize something but the reality is it is not what is best for you so you have to say goodbye and block them forever but keep the entire text thread including the pics as evidence 🧐 LOL! Just kidding but not really 🙂😂. Mannnnnn listen. I wanted it to work. I was in full placebo effect. I was ready to receive God’s blessings. But that bish had me feelin TRAPPT. Like it’s supposed to mimic the warmth of the human body but for some reason a THICCUM pair of thighs straddling my right quad muscles whilst a head delicately lays on my BREAST and two breasstasis swaddle my right side feel hella different 🧐. Anyway I tried. Gave it a go for two skrate weeks. Did not work as intended. That being said, I do not want to dissuade you! It has worked for so many people and I am so thankful to the person who recommended it. That person has recommended a lot of great things and this one just happened to not work out. One person’s medicine is another person’s poison. This is how we were created. May you all sleep well and wake up rested and rejuvenated. Bless up! ❤️

So a lot of you have been asking me, hey smash, when are you going to review the weighted blanket, how did it work, does it work wonders, di...

Poetry, Poison, and Dying: She's the poison I'm dying to drink. perry poetry

Memes, 🤖, and Honey: honey, tell me what's wrong when poison expires, does it become more poisonou or less poisonous 🤔

🤔

Advice, Fucking, and Funny: positive-memes Today my psych professor said, "You'll never truly know someone well enough to marry until you've seen them struggle financially, grieve a lost one, or witness them while they're sick." And that just hit really deep. 11/30/17, 3:36 PM Truly amazing advice. grizzlyadventures First date ideas: freeze their assets, kill one of their loved ones, poison their fucking dinner

Advice, Fucking, and Instagram: Today my psych professor said, "You'll never truly know someone well enough to marry until you've seen them struggle financially, grieve a lost one, or witness them while they're sick." And that just hit really deep. 11/30/17, 3:36 PM Truly amazing advice grizzlyadventures First date ideas: freeze their assets, kill one of their loved ones, poison their fucking dinner @soinnocentparent was voted 1 sexual meme page on instagram 😂💀🔞

Evolve, Leaf, and Poison: Rexi @Ukiiyo koala: i want to eat leaf euaclyptus leaf: no dont eat me im worthless koala: no i want leaf! eucalyptus leaf: i'll poison u koala: i will specifically evolve to eat leaf eucalyptus leaf: i literally have no nutritional value koala: e f a

Memes, Women, and Her: Her: He's probably thinking about other women... Him: if poison expires, will it get more poisonous or less poisonous? Do poisons even expire? via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2ru6wmK

Do poisons even expire? via /r/memes https://ift.tt/2ru6wmK

Memes, School, and Snake: Myth You can suck the poison from a snake bite Fact I have a girlfriend but you guys don't knowO her because she goes to another school

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: lazysweettoothedloser: ~PruAus Week 2016 - Day 3 - Mythology|Cardverse|Your Favorite AU This is one of my own favorite AUs for PruAus: “Corpse Bride”. Roderich is still a little shaken up over the fact that his new husband is dead but sure enough he’ll have to get used to it. Perhaps he’ll come around and even drink his poison to be closer by Gilbert’s side with the undead.

lazysweettoothedloser: ~PruAus Week 2016 - Day 3 - Mythology|Cardverse|Your Favorite AU This is one of my own favorite AUs for PruAus: “Cor...

College, Funny, and Help: Klean Ship PREMIUM Odorless eral Spirits Stripper d paint stain & warnish er for brushes and paint equipment od for indoor use Sin Olor Strips paint, epoxy&polyurethane from wood metal&masonry STRONGEST Removes Multiple Layers of Any Finish PASTE Thick Brushable Formula Clings to Surface WORKS IN LESS THAN 15 ULOR FATAL IF PELIGROI NOCIVO O LETAL SI SE ITANT COMBUSTIBLE IRRITANTE DE LOS OJOS COMBUSTI n back panel mL) MIN las demás precauciones DANGER! INHALATION OF VAPOR VERY HARMFUL VAPOR CAN KILL İPELIGROI LA INHALACION DELVAPOR You IN ENCLOSED AREAS. EYE AND SKIN IRRITANT. MAY BE FATAL OR CAUSE BLINDNESS IF SWALLOWED VAPOR HARMFUL POISON Read entire all cautions on back and side panel.INGESTION VAPOR NOCIVO VENENO MUY DANINO. EL VAPOR PUEDE MATARLO EN AREAS CERRADAS IRRITANTE PARA LOS OJOS Y LA PIEL PUEDE SER FATAL O CAUSAR CEGUERA EN CASO DE Lea todas las precauciones en al panel pasterior 1 QUART (946 mL) RETAIL PRICE 6.4 0025-0002 3019294348 OKTP943 0025-0002-0039 QGT694 NONE 1QT Cap 6 535770 RITANTE DE LOS 0J0S Helping her pay her way through college.

Helping her pay her way through college.

Advice, Fucking, and Memes: Today my psych professor said, "You'll never truly know someone well enough to marry until you've seen them struggle financially, grieve a lost one, or witness them while they're sick." And that just hit really deep. 11/30/17, 3:36 PM grizzlyadventures: positive-memes: Truly amazing advice. First date ideas: freeze their assets, kill one of their loved ones, poison their fucking dinner

Advice, Fucking, and Memes: Today my psych professor said, "You'll never truly know someone well enough to marry until you've seen them struggle financially, grieve a lost one, or witness them while they're sick." And that just hit really deep. 11/30/17, 3:36 PM poethrotsvitha: grizzlyadventures: positive-memes: Truly amazing advice. First date ideas: freeze their assets, kill one of their loved ones, poison their fucking dinner

Advice, Bad, and Life: "Just some friendly advice to not fear love or vulnerability, and to certainly not hold back on going for something or someone you really want. This is your life and you must live it how you want. If that means you get heartbroken a few times in your life then SO BE IT. Each broken heart gives you another lesson to learn from. Each broken heart reminds you on what you need to work on in yourself. Each broken heart builds vou as a person and a lover. There are far too many wondrous people in this world to avoid because vou're afraid. Not evervone is going to poison you. Not every single soul in the world has bad intentions, You have to remain hopeful that "the one" is still out there searching for you too. Because they are. And you have to stand back up and go and find them. (via https-absent)

Fresh, True, and Tumblr: vlue-the-wallflower: if the heavens ever did speak she is the last true mouthpiece every sunday’s getting more bleak a fresh poison each week

vlue-the-wallflower: if the heavens ever did speak she is the last true mouthpiece every sunday’s getting more bleak a fresh poison each...

School, Snake, and Girlfriend: Myth You can suck the poison from a snake bite Fact I have a girlfriend but you guys don't know her because she goes to another school i have a gf haha

i have a gf haha

School, Snake, and Girlfriend: Myth You can suck the poison From a snake bite Fact I have a girlfriend but you guys don't know0 her because she goes to another school gn...

gn...

Instagram, Meme, and Target: za-ra-h: Poison Ivy - been meaning to paint her for some time now. Support me, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM Print on Society6

za-ra-h: Poison Ivy - been meaning to paint her for some time now. Support me, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM Print on Society6

4chan, Books, and Friends: Anonymous 05/22/18(Tue)03:41:30 No.45574737 >mfw i'm finally leaving this place I finally got a job which wasn't so scary. There I'm improving my social skills, meeting both guys and girls and making friends. Started cleaning my room. The desire for 7 KB PNG reading books and doing my hobbies has come back. I started exercising again and am also eating healthier. I've lost the feeling to be unproductive by sitting on the internet all day playing video games and browsing YouTube and 4chan. Also planning my weeks now to actually achieve goals. This place is poison. See ya. xandrachantal: chauvinistsushi: talesof4chan: Robot evolves reblog to banish depressive spells

xandrachantal: chauvinistsushi: talesof4chan: Robot evolves reblog to banish depressive spells

Megan, Memes, and Megan Fox: THINGS MORE QUALIFIED TOPLAY POISON IVY THAN MEGAN FOX SWAMP POISONTVY.SMERATHING GREEN MAN:( 、

Crying, Jesus, and Email: Henry Birdseye @tehawesome jesus christ @duolingo that's one hardcore email campaign duolingo Free language education for the world. Language Bird is crying. Leam Italian today or he will eat a poison loaf of bread. The next email will be a funeral e-vite

Advice, Be Like, and Books: shock if fallout 76 really is a world where "every character is a real person" & there's no NPCs im making it my civic duty to be like this lowly tavern barkeep and then once i've established enough of a rapport i'm going to nuke all of west virginia and it will be in character teamOplayerO someone help where's the screenshot of some post somewhere about the mmo player who barkept for a longass time then fucked absolutely everyone over yes-sica God I spent countless hours as a teen playing on a heavily modded and roleplay enforced ultima online server. I played Cedric Sartone, simple farmer turned tavern owner who eventually turned it into THE BEST PLACE IN TOWN. It was poppin every night, I was buddies with every adventurer, soldier, mage druid, and ranger that played the game. After they went out and grinded their skills and did their quests, I was waiting for them with a warm fire and plenty of ale. I'd buy their ingredients and make awesome food and booze (max level cooking!) and was privy to all the gossip. Little did they know I had a side hobby, I was brewing massive amounts of the most gamebreakingly toxic poison possible. For over a year I roleplayed with these people as a simple barman, pretended to be their friend and confidant and then during a harvest festival where every player on our server was in attendance and I was payed to provide the food and drink... I poisoned every last morsel of food, every drop of drink and after the reagent delivered his speech and all of these fools raised their goblets for the toast and took that deadly sip, I stepped onto the stage and revealed what had happened. They where all going to die, and die they did. Now this was a permanent death server (hardcore rpers mind you) and some had been playing those characters for 8 years and there they all were collapsed and dying. Soon they were all unconscious, as you could only die if you went unconscious three times in one day or if a certain psychotic bartender came and cut off your head which I did to every player in our group of 38. They were all there, and unfortunately so was I Revenge against what, you ask? So the server had a pretty strict policy regarding pvp and pk, essentially the GMs had to determine if there was in character justification for any instance of disputed player killing, obviously my situation prompted a call for an investigation. I understood those rules from the start though, and I kept a written log in the game where I detailed my character's building hatred of every single other player character in the world. He would keep track of every little thing from petty slights, to unpaid tabs, but more importantly I adopted the little mannerisms that people roleplayed to develop their characters into the madness of mine So Elias was always whistling, well I recorded how infuriating Cedric found it in his journal, and soon he had multiple journals packed full of a thousand reasons an unstable maniac could use to justifiably re: server rules) murder anyone. The reagent who was also the server admin had some ornate cloak with a custom texture, so I wrote like three pages about how pompous it was, and extrapolated what kind of insufferable prick he must have been for wearing it. I would just write one or two things down every day for over a year, so I had many books full for the GMs to locate in the tavern basement and read through. The result was that they found my massacre to be in good form and in-character, so the server was not rolled back and instead they decided to reset and implement a new landmass they had been working on. Some people were really pissed off, mostly a handful of the veteran players who had been top dog for several years in their little gladiator arena. I only did any of it because my first character was murdered by some overzealous asshole who just used his character to project his inferiority complex. He killed me on my second day on the server because I wandered into the funeral of his friend (it was taking place in the middle of town and there was a crowd, of course I was curious) and because I was not invited and he was a known prick it was found justifiable for his character to kill mine because of the emotional turmoil blah blah. So yeah I said fck that, and rolled a new character who was ostensibly eager to please and non-threatening. I won. This one? Source: shock 114.795 notes D ; advice-animal: I hope I can become this spiteful one day

Advice, Antidote, and Pizza: jayayayayay: just-shower-thoughts: Pizza should have poison in the sauce and the antidote in the crust to kill off those weird people that don't eat the crust. what the fuck are you thinking about in that shower advice-animal: That’s not how normal people think!

😂 Funny

🐸 Dank

🦅 Politics

🅱️ Sports

🐣 Cute

🔮 Horoscopes

🇲🇽 Spanish

Carli

Weight

You Died

Drinks

controller

protecting

two faces

protects

faces

kill

🔥 Popular | Latest

Carli

Weight

You Died

Drinks

controller

protecting

two faces

protects

faces

kill

around

drink

hard

bites

ironically

hard times

courtesy

failing

comming

captured

possibilities

goodness

venom snake

gag

disguise

people

youre

dose

streaming

whats

www

what

paranoid

bite

toxic

you

withings

stream

frogs

them

babies

will

ivy

prey

down

romans

tax

frog

venom

personal

🤖

Been

Baby

Comics

Fishing

Tree

Snakes

Snake

Fuck

Fish

memes

Life