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cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER : cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

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ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this : ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this

ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: Th...

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non-suspiciousname: libertarirynn: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit. What the fuck is salted licorice Exactly what it sounds like: black licorice caked in salt. it’s a popular treat in Sweden.: non-suspiciousname: libertarirynn: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit. What the fuck is salted licorice Exactly what it sounds like: black licorice caked in salt. it’s a popular treat in Sweden.
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unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit.: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: unpopularly-opinionated: invenblocker: huumesateenvarjo: ruinedchildhood: 💯 This post is fennophobic Stop slandering our precious licorice! Black licorice is awesome so long as it isn’t that salty shit. Are you insulting my salty licorice? Yes. I’ve had salty black licorice before and it’s basically just a large chunk of salt you suck on. It’s good for all of 2-3 seconds before I have to spit it out. And don’t even get me started on black licorice soda. Licorice Soda is icky, but salty black licorice is the perfect snack. I guess I just prefer my sodium intake to come from the tears of my enemies……or that other salty liquid. Once I got an international snack box from like Sweden or something with salted licorice and that shit was the spawn of the devil. It was in my mouth for about three seconds before every part of my body rejected it. You Northern European folks are on some shit.
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revolver-d: Since some of you guys have been wondering what the Stain exactly is like, I drawn a small scene of one of its invasion back when Homeworld fought against it.The Stain is a creature that came from out of the galaxy. However, it is not a creature in a traditional sense, other than the fact that it is alive. It was a being of formless liquid like mineral material that consolidated into a mass big enough to cover several star system. It invaded everything it can reach and consumed, from the burning fire of stars and whole of gas giants to every liquid, minerals and organics on hard planets down to its core, it devoured everything. Breaking down all that there is and reconstruct them into its own from the level of atom structure to consolidate into their mass. In its path it left nothing but empty space and few small fragments of what was there once.: revolver-d: Since some of you guys have been wondering what the Stain exactly is like, I drawn a small scene of one of its invasion back when Homeworld fought against it.The Stain is a creature that came from out of the galaxy. However, it is not a creature in a traditional sense, other than the fact that it is alive. It was a being of formless liquid like mineral material that consolidated into a mass big enough to cover several star system. It invaded everything it can reach and consumed, from the burning fire of stars and whole of gas giants to every liquid, minerals and organics on hard planets down to its core, it devoured everything. Breaking down all that there is and reconstruct them into its own from the level of atom structure to consolidate into their mass. In its path it left nothing but empty space and few small fragments of what was there once.

revolver-d: Since some of you guys have been wondering what the Stain exactly is like, I drawn a small scene of one of its invasion back...

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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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regex and html: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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