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Ass, Bad, and Children: zaynsamosa white person: eats chicken tikka masala once* i just... i feel so connected... to indian culture... I'm learning to speak islam.... check out my third eye..... chakra teaboot Every time see this. Every damn time. I'm immediately sucked back into my fuckin. Fuckin English lit class with Mr. Fuckass McShit. Mr. "Hit the gong to begin class", "Namaste, Children", "l wanna go backpacking in India to find my spiritual awakening and also my left burkinstock that I lost during a cedar sauna drum circle" ass bastard. "Do you want to share your poetry with the class to get in touch with your emotions" ass fucker. Mr. "Here's a photograph of a tribal shaman, describe him using nature words" asshole. Pretentious- ass, condescending motherfucker. "Do you want to tell us about your saddest memory?" "I dunno, sir. Are you giving me an option?" "No." "Then why are you asking" Every goddamn day. Fuck. "You seem tense." Oh, I seem tense? I seem tense. Well fuck, Professor Pillsbury, maybe l 'seem tense' because I walk into a room on five hours of sleep to the sound of a goddamn brass gong drilling through my brain and your seven- foot-nine, socks-and-sandals-wearing, patchouli- smelling ass immediately gravitates in my direction with some shit like "a tree......... Is a Poem" and I gotta sit here and politely tell you that No I'm Not Comfortable Telling The Class About A Time I Was Emotionally Vulnerable With A Loved One using words that sound like the way the color yellow smells. Maybe l don't wanna sit in a circle and hold hands with Brittney from Computer Sciences to "align our auras" or some shit Fuck. Fuuuuuuck. I swear to God, if I wanted to sing kumbaya' with a smelly old guy with gross facial hair who writes bad porn on the side, I'd go out to the parking lot and share a Hookah with Crazy Dan, the disgraced electrician. What, I don't wanna do an interpretive dance to represent the spiritual experience of eating Quinoa in a room full of ambivalent preteens and suddenly I'm the 'troubled youth' you need to Robin Williams "O Captain My Captain" your way into having a Paternal Bonding Moment powerful enough to Expand My Impressionable Young Mind and Turn My Life Around, you goddamn saint, you? Jesus Fucking Christ. You insufferable jackass. You're not "Enlightened", you rolled out of bed and ate half a pot brownie, wrote a sad song about a leaf, and strolled into class to ramble about your Spirit Animal for six hours straight before calling it a day. Holy Jesus goddamned Christ. Fucking Balls, sir. Holy Fucking Balls Source: zintersoldier #Teaboot 238,334 notes Sep 29th, 2018 a tree Is a Poem
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Bitch, Douchebag, and Fucking: i never realized how much i hate modern art until i took a class in modern art t's so pretentious, like half of the pieces we've looked at have been purportedly commenting on elitism in art and income disparities when the piece itself sold for thousands of dollars to be put in a museum for rich people to look at. you're supposed to look at barren canvases with vague splotches of color and meditate on the nature of life, navelgazing for an hour. bitch I can do that in my own home for free. most of the time the pieces themselves don't require any skill, it's just an asshole with some bright idea thatno one has ever thought of before(which is bullshit, originality is a myth) and the gall to pretend that they re saying something meaningful. A bunch of postmodernists specialize in literal plagiarism but with a different title. wow so edgy. really thought provoking. you sure are making a statement that's care the most egregious example is this bullshit this is an overhead view of a plaza wherein some famous guy was commissioned to design a public art piece for. The brick and nonfunctional fountain was already there. The sculpture? a literal wall of iron bisecting the courtyard. this guy was paid over 100k to design this. Now, this is located in a city, smack dab in the middle of a bunch of office buildings. Workers who had to spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week doing menial desk jobs had to look at this ugly piece of shit. You want to have a nice picnic during lunch break with your work buddies? tough shit. You get tilted arc instead fucko. You can't see from one end of the courtyard to another because some dick thought rebar sheet metal was more important. It also impeded movement between the buildings so that you have to go around this fucking obstacle instead of just fucking walking from one side to the other So yeah, these workers got pissed, because you're making an ugly place even uglier for obscene amounts of money without thinking about the ppl who actually have to look at it every day (who had no say in the design). There have been countless studies done on stress and related health problems in office workers and having to look at ugly as sin shit like this piece of work actually contributes to stress and decreases mental and physical health (as opposed to pretty scenery or When the designer was told what people thought of his masterplece, he threw an absolute shitfit. "art doesn't have to be pretty", he said. "art isn't for the public while it is absolutely true that art doesn't have to be aesthetically pleasing to be meaningful or relevant, putting this fucking monstrosity in a place where people are forced to look at it day in day out, in addition to the ugly buildings and streets and shit that comprises the rest of their lives is just kind of a dick move. Yes, people are painfully aware that life and art and all that shit isn't always pretty, they're the ones who have to live with that fact, not some pompous asshole who thinks he's god's gift to man because he put some metal wall in a And yeah, not all art is for the public. Art can be self- expression or just for your own enjoyment. But if you are being commissioned by the state, paid hundereds of thousands of tax dollars to make a PUBLIC art piece, yeah, it's for the public! saying that other people have no say in what that public art piece looks like, implying that if other people don't like your art that they just Don't Understand True Art TM, is this hugely egotistical self-masturbatory elitism that puts the artist above the working people (when like the whole point of art is supposed to be disrupting this kind of bullshit But that's not even the best part. This fucking douchebag. upon being told that people don't want this metal wall in their courtyard and that they want him to move it, freaks the FUCK out about how he "designed it just for this space and taking it out of its context would destroy it". Which like, yeah context is important when understanding the meaning of a piece. but iterally the only meaning of this piece was "i got paid obscene amounts of money and im gonna use it to make the ugliest thing i can think of literally just because. If you move it out of the context of the plaza it wouldn't be impeding foot traffic or being an eyesore to the workers who are forced to spend thein days there, which is destroying the purpose of the work. So in the end this guy opts to have the piece destroyed rather than moved because he can't stand to have hishigh art removed from its PurposeTM which is to be unpleasant. i dont give a single goddamn fuck about whatever the fuck, if it's causing people stress on top of their already stressful lives just because you thought it would be great to create this atrocity in a place where no one can escape from, you're not advancing anything. you're just So now the space has been converted to a rather plesant little oasis with plants and lots of benches. anyways thats my dissertation on how much i hate contemporary art and find it to lack relevance or meaning to the people it supposedly represents or defends. it takes itself too seriously and imposes arbitrary and hypocritical statements on the nature of art at the expense of any real substance. in the world we live in, pretty things for the sake of being pretty, having stories that are entertaining and engaging and relatable, having fun and feeling good in a world that devalues those things, etc. are far more impactful and radical than anything sitting in a museum created by some millionaire who jacks off to their 'fine art. thanks for coming to my ted talk have a good night #"that just means you're uncultured' i literally give no fucks susan #im not interested in elitism and you can suck a dick 53,922 notes The Elitism of Art
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Being Alone, Doge, and Dude: EBOOK 9 Shakespeare never tweeted a sonnet. NOTEBOOK 3.9 6.99 10andthetardis chaoswolf1982 ennlyons adelyn Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn't tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway) Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit. He'd rock the fuck out of memes. Dont deny it Exit, pursued by a doge. much run wow I don't understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There's a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery. ALL OF THIS Also, the comment 'Exit, pursued by a doge' alone makes this worth reblogging D Heck, the line that's based on, "Exit, pursued by bear", only exists because Shakespeare couldn't think of any other way to get rid of the character, so opted to have him attacked by a bear, which did not exist in the play before that moment. He literally made a bear appear out of thin air, just to kill off a character, purely due to writer's block And then the bear gets him The bear? Yes the bear Yes to everything this post says. Shakespeare would have been too tech savvy if he would have existed now
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Bill Nye, Feminism, and Girls: SOME MEN JUST WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD LEARN <p><a href="http://adrunkensailor.tumblr.com/post/175844057740/feminists-against-feminism" class="tumblr_blog">adrunkensailor</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://feminists-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/175841434448/most-depressed-optimist" class="tumblr_blog">feminists-against-feminism</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://most-depressed-optimist.tumblr.com/post/175840838046/feminists-against-feminism-spawnfreak73-blog" class="tumblr_blog">most-depressed-optimist</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://feminists-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/175840465458/spawnfreak73-blog-feminists-against-feminism" class="tumblr_blog">feminists-against-feminism</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://spawnfreak73-blog.tumblr.com/post/175839844190/feminists-against-feminism-libertarirynn-if" class="tumblr_blog">spawnfreak73-blog</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://feminists-against-feminism.tumblr.com/post/175839363138/libertarirynn-if-you-dont-get-nye-and-degrasse" class="tumblr_blog">feminists-against-feminism</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/175838975139/if-you-dont-get-nye-and-degrasse-tyson-tf-away" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>If you don’t get Nye and Degrasse Tyson tf away from Ross and Rogers</p></blockquote> <p> ”<a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBWOW452duZc&amp;t=ZTJiZWI2OGI4ZmM5YzQ3YWMxMWU1OGNlMjU2ZDQ2MGIyMzA1OWE3MSxUbU4zdWpESg%3D%3D&amp;p=&amp;m=0">I am a feminist… certainly the best way to limit the human population… is to raise the standard of living of women and girls. And so, to do that, we educate</a>“ ~Bill Nye<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>Ross, Sagan, Rogers. Those are the educators I hold in high regard. Those other two are riding their coat tails.<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>What did NDT <b><i>really </i></b>do tho? Nye got culted. K, and NDT what? Is mildly autistic?  His mind is endlessly enraptured obsessively by esoteric curiosities with absolutely no social value - the fuck did you expect from a scientist of that degree? Mr popular?<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I’m honestly so sick of the hate for those two </p> </blockquote> <p>k, but to be fair, this is Bill Nye <i>‘family’ </i>show…<br/></p> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-height="304" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D46h-LfNWPn8"><iframe id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/46h-LfNWPn8?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" width="540" height="304" frameborder="0"></iframe></figure><figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-height="304" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DVtJFb_P2j48"><iframe id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VtJFb_P2j48?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" width="540" height="304" frameborder="0"></iframe></figure></blockquote> <p>Niel degrades Tyson is a good wholesome boi</p> </blockquote><p>No he’s not, he’s obnoxious, pretentious, and at times and outright liar.</p><p><a href="http://thefederalist.com/2014/09/16/another-day-another-quote-fabricated-by-neil-degrasse-tyson/">http://thefederalist.com/2014/09/16/another-day-another-quote-fabricated-by-neil-degrasse-tyson/</a></p>
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Fail, Family, and Feminism: I swear, one more "lol men are mediocre" post crosses my dash and I'm going to completely lose it. Like... is that something you'd say to the face of the men in your life? There is probably at least one guy you care about, whether it's a family member or a friend or a former mentor. Could you really look that person in the face and go Imao men are mediocre? And if not, can you maybe consider that they might stumble across your stupid stupid, stupid poorly-considered rant and think that it's about them? And that's not all. Most of y'all who post this crap consider yourselves to be SJWs. Fighting for the fucking side of right, all that. If you do this-if you constantly post about how men are terrible and mediocre- you're fucking terrible at social justice. Have you considered that your PROTECT XYZ GROUP] AT ALL COSTS rhetoric is completely empty and shallow if you're not willing to protect all members of that group? Have you fucking considered that some men are POC or queer or trans or disabled? If you post "DISABLED PEOPLE ARE AWESOME" and "QUEER PEOPLE ARE AWESOME" every five minutes and then follow it up with "LOL MEN THO, we know how you really feel. Your support for disabled people or queer people only extends to vague internet platitudes. When it comes to, you know, not triggering people with depression, or anxiety, or impostor syndrome? Haha, who cares, there are men to make fun of on the internet! In less pretentious language: your support means jackshit. Social justice is supposed to be about making the world a less shitty place. It's supposed to be about making the world a place where no one gets hurt for things they can't help, no matter what race, creed, or gender they happen to be If you're not willing to do that? If you're more interested in petty, mean bullshit against a group you don't like than helping people? If your "SJ" is more about sticking it to men or white people or str8s or The Cis than it is about helping raise the people you want to help out? You fucking fail at justice. You're looking for an excuse to be mean. Either admit that you just want an excuse to be mean, or stop doing this. Shit or get off the pot. Signed: A queer, trans, disabled man who is so tired of your crap you don't even know #about teh menz #men and feminism #sj malarkey #general malarkey #twitter malarkey #teminist malarkey #(goddammit stop making me use the feminist malarkey tag) #(i AM a feminist) #(y'all are gonna drive me to drink) #the earl speaks拱he earl rants See all 1.279 notes A perfect response for tumble feminist
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Ass, Books, and Christmas: Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher) Dad: Why the hell did vou put a comma there? Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is? Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time Dad: Who should 1 dress up as for the movie premier? Dad: Hey are you awake? 1 know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. 1 need you to read this report. 1 can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit. Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for doesn't care. 1 hate her Dad: 1 need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet. her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know 1 don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math. Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and 1 have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations. Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book. Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book 1 stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it. Dad: "puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that 1 read them* Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society You aren't my son. Leave Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all 1 can afford, so ... Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass. Dad:I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know Dad: Fuck the government Dad: Fuck the school board. Dad: Close the door Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and 1 hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha, DICKens. Dad:I love puns. Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes Dad: Please shut up Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music Dad: fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and 1 almost told her to get out. Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen. Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too Dad: If1 have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, 1 will kill them both. Dad: They act like 1 care what they think. Dad: I hate homework. Dad: 1 have decided to become a politician. Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed. JAN VIA THISISANATATTACK "I TEACH SO MANY ALESHAS SO MANY 399a2NOTE An English teacher, uncensored
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Fucking, Movies, and Pretentious: "By the way, Wakanda forever!" Downey said, making the crossed- arm salute to Black Panther Chadwick Boseman. star "I can do that as an honorary black man: Tropic Thunder, 2008!" he joked, referencing his role in that Hollywood satire as a pretentious white actor who thinks he can play an African-American soldier in a <p><a href="http://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/post/173971581515/trigonsdottir-pyppenia-robert-downey-jr-is-a" class="tumblr_blog">siryouarebeingmocked</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://trigonsdottir.tumblr.com/post/173285397699/pyppenia-robert-downey-jr-is-a-fucking-demon-for" class="tumblr_blog">trigonsdottir</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://hawkgirl.co.vu/post/173270568093/robert-downey-jr-is-a-fucking-demon-for-1-playing" class="tumblr_blog">pyppenia</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>robert downey jr is a fucking demon for 1. playing in blackface in the first place &amp; <a href="http://ew.com/movies/2018/04/24/robert-downey-jr-speech-avengers-infinity-war-premiere/">2. calling himself an “””honorary black man”””</a> for doing black face</p></blockquote> <p>Oh so are yall gonna hop off his dick now </p> </blockquote> <p>OP, you do realize the entire point of that role is that he’s playing a pretentious yet talented nitwit who either doesn’t know or doesn’t care about the connotations of his disguise?</p><p>Just like he was joking here?<br/></p></blockquote> <p>Every time somebody doesn’t understand Tropic Thunder, a puppy dies.</p>
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