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Children, Dude, and Fucking: mycravatundone a girl i know told me how a guy she knows once moved out from his parents ate nothing but fries and meatballs for HALF A YEAR, and got scurvy. imagine the doctor's face when this guy shows up with like his gums bleeding and the doc has to fucking say DUDE.... THATS SCURVY.... in this day and age mycravatundone this is turning into a "how a person i know got scurvy" thread and im so here for this, please share your scurvy stories if you have any aquarianconstellations the other day someone posted pics from the reddit page r/zerocarbs where these fools only ate meat and 0 vegetables or fruits and all the posts were about various symptoms of scurvy. i died when one literally read 'i don't want to start the vitamin C debate again but mycravatundone THE VITAMIN C DEBATE elidyce My mother told me all about scurvy when I was five and trying to resist eating pumpkin and let me tell you it's been 35 years and I still get nervous if i go for two days without eating a green vegetable I told my own little picky eater about scurvy, rickets etc and now one of her most frequently requested lunch items is baby spinach, closely followed by carrots I'm not saying everyone should mildly traumatize their children to make them understand that vegetables are vital to ongoing possession of your teeth and organs, but.. no, that's exactly what I'm saying. Go for it. ariadne83 some guys i used to know went on a boys only road trip. they decided they were only going to eat things they could cook on the engine block of the car two of them got scurvy. one of them drank so much jagermeister + red bull that he temporarily lost the ability to see in colour. dexvoarn im sorry he what now Eat yer veggies
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Bad, Beef, and Fire: ifeelbetterer tumblr Follow hellotailor 1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center 2. He was as tall as a 6'3" tree 3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master 4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up 7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something 9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room- temperature Canadian beef 11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM 12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object. wollipyos Some of the worst analogies written by high school students I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT NUMBER 4 IS GREAT. bewbin These are genius ninjagirlmai I lost it at number 10 farorescourage "the worst analogies" are the ones you use to write comedy pieces with. They work like a charm if you do them right. beingfacetious #you say 'worst analogies i say 'heirs of douglas adams, Source papadevs 291.019 notes These analogies are like poetry if the poet had been sleepless for five days subsisting only on Red Bull and raw coffee beans

These analogies are like poetry if the poet had been sleepless for five days subsisting only on Red Bull and raw coffee beans

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