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Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full exte...

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Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full ext...

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Massage, Money, and Scrubs: Will you have loose skin after losing 50 pounds? Sajib Howlader, Health Adviser (2014-present) Answered 1h ago 8 If you have flaccid skin after losing weight, do not blame yourself. This is nature. Fortunately, this does not mean that you must live forever with that skin that fact there are several very effective strategies. You can use to get back the firmness in your skin and achieve the slim and toned body for which you have worked with so much effort and dedication. For yourself: * Develop muscle mass: by developing muscle, you can effectively "fill'" areas with excess skin, this will make it tense. For men lifting weights is an excellent starting point, for women doing resistance exercises such as push-ups, leg lifts and sit-ups are a good option. Try a sea salt scrub: scrubs increase blood circulation, thus stimulating the healthy production of elastic and collagen, both necessary to restore firmness to your skin. Apply the exfoliate in the shower about 3 times a week to get the best results Get a massage: just like the sea salt scrub, massages stimulate blood circulation and these can improve the health of your skin and its general elasticity. Although this is not a proven method, it will not do any harm, in fact vou will be more relaxed than ever before, Take vitamin C: if you are not eating an orange a day, it may be a good time to start with this habit. Vitamin C is essential for the production of collagen, we must obtain enough vitamin C to give our skin the ability to re-tense and shrink as before, Fill with cream: there are many creams available on the market designed to firm the skin and stimulate the production of elastin and collagen. Just make sure you do a thorough investigation to choose a reliable and good quality product. This way you avoid wasting your money. . Drinklots ofwater: staying well hydrated is vital for skin elasticity, so be sure to take Water all day, every day. You can also eat fruits and vegetables rich in water to increase your hydration, if you do not like the idea of carrying a bottle of water with you always. Wrap yourself up: there is a treatment called body wrapping that has helped many people.With this technique, a lotion is applied to thee problem area, which usually contains honey, clay, chocolate or something similar and then wrapped with a plastic. You relax for a half hour while this wrap does its job of detoxifying and cleansing your skin Although the results of this method have not been scientifically proven, many women claim to see results after just one treatment. Stay moist: the more moisturized your skin is, the easier it is to reproduce new cells. To give your skin the chance to recover, try to keep it as moist as possible. Use a cream that contains vitamin E or you can also use an oil like coconut oil, . If possible, focus on a gradual and healthy weight loss, in this way you can avoid flaccidity, because you will give your skin enough time to adjust to changes in your body. 284 Views fat-acceptance-dropout: If you have flaccid skin after losing weight, do not blame yourself. This is nature. Fortunately, this does not mean that you must live forever with that skin that fact there are several very effective strategies. You can use to get back the firmness in your skin and achieve the slim and toned body for which you have worked with so much effort and dedication. See Special - Dreaming About Your Perfect Body? For yourself: Develop muscle mass: by developing muscle, you can effectively “fill” areas with excess skin, this will make it tense. For men lifting weights is an excellent starting point, for women doing resistance exercises such as push-ups, leg lifts and sit-ups are a good option. Try a sea salt scrub: scrubs increase blood circulation, thus stimulating the healthy production of elastic and collagen, both necessary to restore firmness to your skin. Apply the exfoliate in the shower about 3 times a week to get the best results. Get a massage: just like the sea salt scrub, massages stimulate blood circulation and these can improve the health of your skin and its general elasticity. Although this is not a proven method, it will not do any harm, in fact you will be more relaxed than ever before. Take vitamin C: if you are not eating an orange a day, it may be a good time to start with this habit. Vitamin C is essential for the production of collagen, we must obtain enough vitamin C to give our skin the ability to re-tense and shrink as before. Fill with cream: there are many creams available on the market designed to firm the skin and stimulate the production of elastin and collagen. Just make sure you do a thorough investigation to choose a reliable and good quality product. This way you avoid wasting your money. Drink lots of water: staying well hydrated is vital for skin elasticity, so be sure to take Water all day, every day. You can also eat fruits and vegetables rich in water to increase your hydration, if you do not like the idea of carrying a bottle of water with you always. Wrap yourself up: there is a treatment called body wrapping that has helped many people.With this technique, a lotion is applied to the problem area, which usually contains honey, clay, chocolate or something similar and then wrapped with a plastic. You relax for a half hour while this wrap does its job of detoxifying and cleansing your skin. Although the results of this method have not been scientifically proven, many women claim to see results after just one treatment. Stay moist: the more moisturized your skin is, the easier it is to reproduce new cells. To give your skin the chance to recover, try to keep it as moist as possible. Use a cream that contains vitamin E or you can also use an oil like coconut oil. If possible, focus on a gradual and healthy weight loss, in this way you can avoid flaccidity, because you will give your skin enough time to adjust to changes in your body. Source: Sajib Howlader, Health Adviser (2014-present)

fat-acceptance-dropout: If you have flaccid skin after losing weight, do not blame yourself. This is nature. Fortunately, this does not mean...

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Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full exte...

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