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rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place. : rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

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bunjywunjy: lostinhistory: bidet-of-evil: officialukulele: nogoawayok: penguinsstealingsanity: that-ships-hellabig: phanfruit: krakkenchaos: swindontownswoodilypooper: petrovasinspace: f-i-v-e-byfive: thesixtysevenchevyimpala: ilovecountryeverything: titaniumbovine: peaceroxi: steveisoncrack: HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home.  Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks …I had plans today but now. THE AIRPORT GAME IS BACK. FUCK THIS GAME LAST TIME I PLAYED IT DUMPED ME IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORWAY I PLAYED FOR LIKE 8 HOURS BEFORE BREAKING DOWN CRYING OMG NO STOP THIS GAME IS MY LIFE!!! IT’S BACK WHY IS THIS BACK WHYYYYY oh shit I HAVEN’T USED THIS GIF SINCE FEBRUARY Always reblog Mapcrunch when someone tries to bring it back it dropped me in a fucking room full of pandas Ohmygod It once dropped my in my home town a few km’s from the airport XD i think this is gonna be a problem i feel threatened also why is one of the cows blurred out who is she  I’m trapped in a bathroom and i have no reflection I am on a dock by a bay the last time I played this, it dumped me in the middle of a desert and when I turned the camera around it was literally standing next to the runway of an air force base : bunjywunjy: lostinhistory: bidet-of-evil: officialukulele: nogoawayok: penguinsstealingsanity: that-ships-hellabig: phanfruit: krakkenchaos: swindontownswoodilypooper: petrovasinspace: f-i-v-e-byfive: thesixtysevenchevyimpala: ilovecountryeverything: titaniumbovine: peaceroxi: steveisoncrack: HEY TUMBLR, LET’S PLAY A GAME To play this game, go to MapCrunch, select “hide location”, make sure you have all countries unselected, and click go. What this will do is drop you in a random part of the world. It’s as if you woke up on the side of a road in an unfamiliar country. The goal of the game is to find your way to an airport so you can return home.  Bonus Hard Mode: No using outside sources, and that includes using google maps to figure out your location from signs or landmarks …I had plans today but now. THE AIRPORT GAME IS BACK. FUCK THIS GAME LAST TIME I PLAYED IT DUMPED ME IN THE MOUNTAINS OF NORWAY I PLAYED FOR LIKE 8 HOURS BEFORE BREAKING DOWN CRYING OMG NO STOP THIS GAME IS MY LIFE!!! IT’S BACK WHY IS THIS BACK WHYYYYY oh shit I HAVEN’T USED THIS GIF SINCE FEBRUARY Always reblog Mapcrunch when someone tries to bring it back it dropped me in a fucking room full of pandas Ohmygod It once dropped my in my home town a few km’s from the airport XD i think this is gonna be a problem i feel threatened also why is one of the cows blurred out who is she  I’m trapped in a bathroom and i have no reflection I am on a dock by a bay the last time I played this, it dumped me in the middle of a desert and when I turned the camera around it was literally standing next to the runway of an air force base
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thewhaleridingvulcan: charitypot: feelingbloodyinspired: buickey: ep0nine: saramcclarinet: brainbowunicorn: Sometimes I just start singing and my mom joins in Whoa… #don’t trust this#they’re probably sirens These two are singing “O magnum mysterium” by Tomas Luis De Victoria! It’s a very pretty piece from the renaissance that has a lot of different voice parts singing totally different melodies that mesh well together. I sung tenor for a song of his as well. It sounds ethereal in cathedrals and bathrooms alike my opinion. Its the room’s ability to bounce sound and make it resonate, giving it it’s “mermaid siren” like quality. It sounds great. Congratulations, you both! Sounds very pretty and seems like a fun time to clean with things like that. yes its back on my dash god lol I always reblog the bathroom sirens <3  : thewhaleridingvulcan: charitypot: feelingbloodyinspired: buickey: ep0nine: saramcclarinet: brainbowunicorn: Sometimes I just start singing and my mom joins in Whoa… #don’t trust this#they’re probably sirens These two are singing “O magnum mysterium” by Tomas Luis De Victoria! It’s a very pretty piece from the renaissance that has a lot of different voice parts singing totally different melodies that mesh well together. I sung tenor for a song of his as well. It sounds ethereal in cathedrals and bathrooms alike my opinion. Its the room’s ability to bounce sound and make it resonate, giving it it’s “mermaid siren” like quality. It sounds great. Congratulations, you both! Sounds very pretty and seems like a fun time to clean with things like that. yes its back on my dash god lol I always reblog the bathroom sirens <3 
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