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Fellas don't you hate when you abouT to give the best dick to the girl of your dreams and your girlfriend shows up? When your girl get you so mad you go out and cheat just to blow some steem off. Now before I go into this story let me give you the back story of what has transpired. I was ready to filet Ming Bong my girl pussy with the most elegant strokes of the tongue that even Shakespeare couldn't compare. I'm going down when I hear her stomach squealing. She probably hungry. if the head game A1 I might let her grab something that's not on the dollar menu. I'm bout to start going in when a fart slips out her booty cheeks and floats it's way up her pussy lips. Boy was bout to go hungry hippo but she hit me with a gas bomb. I was done after that I got PTSD from pussy eating. I got up and left her ass. We are not on talking terms. Few days later I'm bout to get some play from this one hoe I saw posting about her boyfriend on Facebook. Facebook the easiest way to see who needs local dick.My Door bell rings. My momma not suppose to be home for another few hours. I look through the window blinds and it's my girl. I hate when people come to the crib uninvited.i crack the door and began to act fake sick. *fake cough* "hey what's up?" "Baby I'm so sorry can I come in so we can talk?". "nah the way my stomach set up I'm not feeling so good".i try shutting the dirt she out her whole foot in the door. I said "let's talk about it and get food". My girl wasn't sorry she was hungry stay woke kings when dealing with these females. From the other room "Come take this ass". I was done bruh. Do people not have manners at other peoples house. It's too late to play dumb. My shorty goes in the room and sees the side piece. I've never seen two woman work together to take down a man. Feminism is a powerful thing. They pulled out more receipts than a tax return. I got my ass beat in my own crib. I'm single now.: When she come over to apologize for spazzing on you but nows not a good time cause you cheating Fellas don't you hate when you abouT to give the best dick to the girl of your dreams and your girlfriend shows up? When your girl get you so mad you go out and cheat just to blow some steem off. Now before I go into this story let me give you the back story of what has transpired. I was ready to filet Ming Bong my girl pussy with the most elegant strokes of the tongue that even Shakespeare couldn't compare. I'm going down when I hear her stomach squealing. She probably hungry. if the head game A1 I might let her grab something that's not on the dollar menu. I'm bout to start going in when a fart slips out her booty cheeks and floats it's way up her pussy lips. Boy was bout to go hungry hippo but she hit me with a gas bomb. I was done after that I got PTSD from pussy eating. I got up and left her ass. We are not on talking terms. Few days later I'm bout to get some play from this one hoe I saw posting about her boyfriend on Facebook. Facebook the easiest way to see who needs local dick.My Door bell rings. My momma not suppose to be home for another few hours. I look through the window blinds and it's my girl. I hate when people come to the crib uninvited.i crack the door and began to act fake sick. *fake cough* "hey what's up?" "Baby I'm so sorry can I come in so we can talk?". "nah the way my stomach set up I'm not feeling so good".i try shutting the dirt she out her whole foot in the door. I said "let's talk about it and get food". My girl wasn't sorry she was hungry stay woke kings when dealing with these females. From the other room "Come take this ass". I was done bruh. Do people not have manners at other peoples house. It's too late to play dumb. My shorty goes in the room and sees the side piece. I've never seen two woman work together to take down a man. Feminism is a powerful thing. They pulled out more receipts than a tax return. I got my ass beat in my own crib. I'm single now.
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So, after my post about opening my door and killing hipster bicyclists, a female follower DM'ed me saying "hey smash! I think I have the solution to your problem. Look up 'Dutch reach.' Good luck!" Now see Bruh my mind is tainted. Ruined. I came of age in the point in history when pr0n went from being snuck around and shared in a crumpled-up, clandestine fashion to being readily available on computers and phones. So a sexy female follower DMs me about the 'Dutch reach' and my mind starts wondering. Wandering. 'Dutch reach'...hold up...like where I'm with a girl putting in work from behind and she all "YES DADDY PUNISH ME DADDY" and then right when I'm like "ohhhh...OHHH...ARGHHHH" she reaches alllllllllll the way under past my sac and jams two fingers into my back door and I start crying and screaming and vomiting and then curl up in a ball wrapped in a comforter, sweating, tears rolling down my face, contemplating the loss of my manhood? Nah. The Dutch reach is where, instead of mindlessly opening the door with your left hand and killing a bicyclist, you reach across with your right hand, turn your whole body, see what's behind you, wait for them to clear, then open the door. Thank you, beautiful woman. I'm now aware of the Dutch reach. In fact, I did it this morning...And my booty hole is still intact FTW πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚: Memphis Zoo announces birth of baby hippo... weighing just 76 pounds! Name not yet decided. pic: Memphis Zoo @Drsmashlove So, after my post about opening my door and killing hipster bicyclists, a female follower DM'ed me saying "hey smash! I think I have the solution to your problem. Look up 'Dutch reach.' Good luck!" Now see Bruh my mind is tainted. Ruined. I came of age in the point in history when pr0n went from being snuck around and shared in a crumpled-up, clandestine fashion to being readily available on computers and phones. So a sexy female follower DMs me about the 'Dutch reach' and my mind starts wondering. Wandering. 'Dutch reach'...hold up...like where I'm with a girl putting in work from behind and she all "YES DADDY PUNISH ME DADDY" and then right when I'm like "ohhhh...OHHH...ARGHHHH" she reaches alllllllllll the way under past my sac and jams two fingers into my back door and I start crying and screaming and vomiting and then curl up in a ball wrapped in a comforter, sweating, tears rolling down my face, contemplating the loss of my manhood? Nah. The Dutch reach is where, instead of mindlessly opening the door with your left hand and killing a bicyclist, you reach across with your right hand, turn your whole body, see what's behind you, wait for them to clear, then open the door. Thank you, beautiful woman. I'm now aware of the Dutch reach. In fact, I did it this morning...And my booty hole is still intact FTW πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

So, after my post about opening my door and killing hipster bicyclists, a female follower DM'ed me saying "hey smash! I think I have the...

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