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Anaconda, Cats, and Children: The Vikings would give kittens to newlywed brides as an essential part of a new household. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this could have to do with the fact that Freya the Norse Goddess of love, beauty and fertility drove a chariot pulled by cats. So, if I ever get married, I fully expect a catmobile.  One of the other reasons why they gave cats to each other was for their valuable skills as mousers. Cats were able to control rodent populations around their properties. Also, Norse myths are thought to have the earliest literary descriptions of the Norwegian Forest Cat. They were described as large, strong cats that drew Freya’s chariot and were so heavy that not even Thor, God of Thunder, could lift them from the floor. (Source) They kinda live up to the legend, too. Your average Norwegian Forest Cat is twenty pounds of solid muscle, with claws large and strong enough to climb solid rock. They’ve been known to attack bears when defending their territory. And yet they’re one of the cuddliest breeds out there, particularly noted for being patient with small children. I have a Norwegian mix, and can attest that she is the cuddliest cat but also insane enough to try and fight a bear. Viking cats “FIGHT ME” Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, still could not lift this cat.

ninety6tears: roguetelemetry: nekoama: prokopetz: ultrafacts: bryarly: foxfairy5: ultrafacts: Source More Facts Yes this could h...

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Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: When you at the doctor gettin a physical and he go to grab ya balls bruh if you get a physical and your doctor is a female, it’s the worst. Lemme set the scene for y’all. 5th grade, a young nigga is playing football every weekend after school. My team was the Vikings and our quarterback was some ass, so we were a pretty good representation of the NFL team. Anyway I needed to submit a physical before practices began. So my mom swerve up to a doctors to get a physical. Whole time during the car ride I’m thinking: “Wow, some random ass nigga is gon fondle my ballsack.” Luckily and sadly that wasn’t the case. So I get called in to go next and we walk back to the doctors room. The doctor inside the room is a 30 year old white dude so I’m like, “Ay no homo.” “Huh?” He goes. “I just had to say that before we begin.” They do the standard heart beat and ear checks and shit right. Then all of sudden the doctor says, “Mom, if you’d like to step out, another doctor will be in to do the rest.” So now I’m hyperventilating like fucking spongebob cause I thought ol dude was the one who was gon fondle me word to my uncle. But nah that wasn’t the case. So I’m sitting in the room by myself waiting for this other doctor to come in when the door opens. Ight so when I say this bitch was a pornstar in the making, I’m not exaggerating 🚫🧢 . Her face was a 9 and her body an 11 word to George Bush. And her fucking white coat was open just enough to see her cleavage word to sedimentary rocks. “Hi!” she says. “Go ahead and drop your pants for me and we can begin.” So me being me, I drop my pants and stand there in my underwear like a dumbass. She laughs at me and my ears get hot. “Those too.” She said. So slowly I drop my shit right, and now she gets on her knees in front of me. BOYYYYYYYY do you know how difficult it is to make your dick soft again when it hard? So she puts on gloves and grabs my nuts like it’s a fucking bowl of popcorn. “Look right and cough for me.” I tried to cough but I whimpered instead 💀 i was focusing so hard on NOT being hard. It was like my dick was a metalloid. Anyway she released her grip and I finally started breathing again. I pulled my pants up so fucking fast. Anyway moral of the story is, Naruto is stronger than Goku
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Af, Basketball, and Bless Up: My girlfriend made me go with her to the flower shop. Wasn't thrilled until this dude showed up and sat in front of me. Reddit u/carl gordon jenkins @DrSmashlove Y’all know I don’t really obsess over sports but last night I seent a miracle. Vikings were losing to the Saints with 10 seconds left. A lot was riding on this game because the winner would go to the NFC Championship. Everyone thought the Saints had it in the bag. Case Keenum, the QB for the Vikings, throws a pass and it’s caught by a young brother named Stefon Diggs. When Diggs gets the ball, it’s five seconds left. In this situation, the receiver (Diggs) is suppose to immeejally run out of bounds so the Vikings could kick a field goal. Keenum yells “GET OUT OF BOUNDS!” Coach Mike Zimmer - only yards away - is yelling at Diggs: “GET OUT OF BOUNDS!” Saints safety Marcus Williams came in at four seconds left to take out Diggs - a fraction of a second after the catch - and ... he misses. If he had connected, and Diggs had fallen, game over. But God had another plan. Diggs landed clean AF, turnt around, and ran in for a touchdown. This was the first time in NFL history that a playoff game ended on a game winning touchdown as time expired. That’s not a typo - what Diggs did has never happened, ever. Plainly, the young brother made history. In the post game interview, Diggs said: “all I can say is, give it to God. Because without him, nothing is possible and I wouldn’t be here so...DAMN THAT SH!T FEEL GOOD!” 😂 Before I continue let me provide a little background on Diggs’ life. Diggs’ father Aron was a former basketball player. Aron signed his son up for football at the ripe age of five and mentored him to become the best player in the state of Maryland and the second best in his position nationwide. But Aron never even seen his son play high school football because he died when Diggs was 14. Since then, Diggs has assumed the role of a father figure to both of his brothers, Trevon and Darez. Diggs himself lost his father figure but he still stepped up. Because he had to. Because that was God’s plan. Sometimes on the way to realizing God’s blessings, you endure hardship. I believe that these tests prepare u for the blessing. Minneapolis stand up. Maryland stand up. All of those who give it to God when we chalk up a win stand up! Bless up ❤️
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