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Ass, Fall, and Hail Mary: I almost died today. Here is the true story So Iwas derping in my backyard today, picking up dog crap. The whole time, my dog was just sitting there watching me, enjoying the sight. So I go to the small section in between my trampoline and my fence. Now if any of you haven't seen my trampoline, it is really old and there are these black foam things on the bars that used to hold up a net, but they are mostly destroyed now. So I walk in the narrow space, and I get completely covered by the hugest web I've ever felt. All over my face, all over my chest and shoulders. I freak out, but I realize that there is no worries. I see no spider, and it would have to be a big ass spider to concoct such a glorious web. Well, sure enough, in the middle of my struggle to break free, I look up, and slowly, ever so slowly, I see the huge, black-brown mass of a spider about the size of my fist crawl out of some old, decaying foam protectors. I stare at it; it stares back. I look closely for any threads connecting us, and there, glinting back at me with sunlight, is one strand of spider web, connecting the hulk spider to my face. It realizes the fact at the same time as me, and thinks, "Yes! This boy's eye sockets will make excellent breeding holes for my eggs!! and starts a full on crawling sprint towards me. I freak out, and begin to struggle even more and more to release myself from this web. It reaches the halfway mark and sees me begin to escape, so it goes for gold. The Hail Mary play. A daring leap straight for the head. Time slows down. This thing has all legs extended, blocking out the sun. A sure death for me. My left arm breaks free from the web. This could be my chance! A quick and decisive left cross reaches the spider JUST in time knocking the behemoth against the fence. It looks dazed; begins to squirm around on the ground, preparing for a counteroffensive. I don't give it a chance. I take the poop shovel in both my hands, shout a battle cry of pure victorious slaughter and smash my enemy into a crumpled pile, each strike emanating a loud crunch of the monster's body.I emerge the survivor in this battle. Thank you video games, for my improved reaction time, lest I fall victim to fate Unlike Comment Share 3 hours ago you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com epicjohndoe: This Man Should Write A Novel
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Target, Tumblr, and Say It: 2a97 aymmidumps:Say it to my face thenI want to feel somethingGet mad, maybe start complainingMake me go insane thenI want to feel something

aymmidumps:Say it to my face thenI want to feel somethingGet mad, maybe start complainingMake me go insane thenI want to feel something

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Be Like, Being Weird, and Bitch: theonlylivingboyinnewyork Being in a room with straight people talking about straight things is so exhausting pokemontrainerpav What the hell are 'straight things'? theonlylivingboyinnewyork Marriages and mortgages and families and opposite sex attraction talk and talking about sex openly without being made to feel like you are making people uncomfortable and hearing straight people talk about how hard dating is for them and hearing straight people talk about how they are such victims and their lives are shit when what this really means is they aren't married at age 22 and sexist crap that drives me crazy like traditional weddings and how great religion is and how the world is so lovely and kind and great because people don't know what it's like to be a minority and how straight people are like "this person is so lovely" when you know they are homophobic or listening to straight people say things are "gay" or talk about people who dress unconventionally (ie. men who wear dresses) as being weird or doing impressions of gay people or asking "why don't you have a boyfriend?" judgementally as if it is just that easy or getting annoyed at you when you complain about how hard your life is because it's easy for them cause they are straight and wouldn't know the first thing about it or having to come out to people all the time cause they just assume you're straight and getting weird looks like "tmi" or "you don't look gay" or "I don't care what you do in the bedroom" or having to hear straight people talk about really cute straight couples or really great romantic films or books about straight people or just watching people live super conventional lives and do really sexist old fashioned things just because no one is brave enough to question or think about anything.. and worst of all knowing that if you were to say or talk about anything gay everyone would get uncomfortable and not join in on the conversation and wish you had said nothing... and then people will be like "you hardly said anything", "you're so quiet", "you don't talk much", "are you shy", "you're boring". No bitch I'm gay and I don't relate to nor am I really interested in any of the shit that you have been yelling to my face for the last hour. theonlylivingboyinnewyork I live for the number of straight people that don't understand why this was written in this way It's exhausting reading this right? Well that's what's it's like for us gay people to have to listen to straight people's opinions on things over and over and over straight people things
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America, Ass, and Children: Students killed in U.S. SCHOOLS 182 Since 2012 Troops killed overseas in COMBAT 6.915 A Since 2001 Jesse T. Smith Like Page 23 hrs- Here's the evidence 6,915 American troops have died fighting the Global War on Terror since 2001 7,182 School aged children have been slaughtered in America since 2012 Mathematics suggests that American campuses and communities are the true battlegrounds commentary: At this rate there will soon be no students left to teach math to!* How long must we offer up OUR CHILDREN as collateral damage to the political mediocrity in OUR CONGRESS? <p><a href="http://friendly-neighborhood-patriarch.tumblr.com/post/171919350487/friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt-cisnowflake" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-patriarch</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt.tumblr.com/post/171919154515/cisnowflake-slumberinggirl" class="tumblr_blog">friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://cisnowflake.tumblr.com/post/171912390151/slumberinggirl-hominishostilis" class="tumblr_blog">cisnowflake</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://slumberinggirl.tumblr.com/post/171912081712/hominishostilis-wellisntthatspiffy" class="tumblr_blog">slumberinggirl</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://hominishostilis.tumblr.com/post/171911434693/wellisntthatspiffy-guynamedowen" class="tumblr_blog">hominishostilis</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://wellisntthatspiffy.tumblr.com/post/171898514507/guynamedowen-demonessdollie-tell-me-with-a" class="tumblr_blog">wellisntthatspiffy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://guynamedowen.tumblr.com/post/171895027275/demonessdollie-tell-me-with-a-straight-face-to" class="tumblr_blog">guynamedowen</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://demonessdollie.tumblr.com/post/171887173196/tell-me-with-a-straight-face-to-my-face-that" class="tumblr_blog">demonessdollie</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Tell me with a straight face, to my face, that your right to own a gun outweighs the right for our teens and young kids to fucking live and go to school without fear of being shot dead. Tell me to my fucking face.<br/></p></blockquote> <p>Surprise, less than 1% of the population that is armed and wearing body armor with aerial fire support and medical teams on standby tend to have a low casualty rate compared to defenseless schools that actively disarm law abiding citizens. </p> </blockquote> <p>Not to mention that A) OP didn’t cite any sources. Just put forth numbers and said, “Here’s your proof!” and B) the numbers are literal and complete bullshit. Since 2000, not 2012, around 250 students and teachers have died as a result of violence on school grounds.</p> <p>OP’s numbers, if they weren’t completely pulled from their ass, may include all violence involving students regardless of location at the time, natural causes of death including of staff (heart attacks, etc), and suicides of students or staff regardless of location.</p> <p>Tl;dr OP is full of shit and can’t cite nonexistent sources.</p> <p><br/></p> <p>Source: <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/02/14/eighteen-years-of-gun-violence-in-u-s-schools-mapped/?utm_term=.39ee879d3086">https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/02/14/eighteen-years-of-gun-violence-in-u-s-schools-mapped/?utm_term=.39ee879d3086</a></p> </blockquote> <p>OP is completely full of shit. That number is the amount of children the gun-control advocacy group <a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.go.com%2FUS%2F7000-childrens-shoes-laid-capitol-lawn-honor-lives%2Fstory%3Fid%3D53710394&amp;t=MjZmYjE4ZmI0OTc4Mjc5NDIyMTQyZjU3YTIzOTRiZWE0ZTFhYzk0YSw2YTJiMWRiOTc5YWYxM2E3ZTMxNjE4ZTdkMjViYjYwMGE3ZmEyYWMy">AVAAZ <i>claims</i> have been killed by gunfire since 2012, not students killed in school shootings. </a></p> <p>That’s all children, including suicides, accidental discharges, driveby shootings, it’s grossly inflated and OP should be ashamed of themselves.</p> <p>There are also less than 2 million active troops. Anyone want to guess how many kids there are in the US? </p> </blockquote> <p>People like OP don’t care about saving lives, they just want to push an agenda. </p> </blockquote> <p>If you have to be disingenuous to make your point maybe it’s not a point that’s worth making.</p> </blockquote> <p>in fairness <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mqAXmF0_km0uU3TUzyTr4Qg">@demonessdollie</a> probably just took the statistic at face value out of ignorance, not actively trying to deceive people.</p> </blockquote> <p>I will say it with a straight face. My right as an innocent law-abiding citizen to own a gun, even those big scary rifles, has absolutely nothing to do with dead kids, and dead kids doesn’t give you the moral authority to take that right away from me.</p></blockquote> <p>How can you look at those numbers and not immediately realize they’re bullshit? I mean seriously guys try harder.</p>
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