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4chan, Apple, and Ass: >be 32 >be neuroscientist working on transferring consciousness to a computer >Newton is my idol >I sit under an apple tree to think all 958 KB JPG day one day an apple falls from the tree and lands on a sapling >then it hits me. know how to achieve singularity >l test my theory on rats first >shit works >sell roborats to children to continue funding >I try it on monkeys as well its funny to watch them wonder why they have no feces to throw research progresses to the point where we can test it on humans >I volunteer to be the first human trial coworkers build me a robot body hey begin downloading my consciousness >me.txt the transfer was a success but they didn't give me a robot penis >tumblr will find a label for me >my robot brain is much better at solving problems and am able to advance scientific progression tenfold >people start to envy my knowledge and immortality rich people pay to have the procedure done while poor people can't afford it the wealth gap grows exponentially >I foresee an inevitable war >build a spaceship with nuclear fusion reactor so I can ditch this sorry ass planet >I travel space and meet many forms of Intelligent life eventually I discover the key to true immortality beyond that of my robot body >I complete the process, but when gaze into the eternal horizon, I think only of my childhood when everything was full of wonder in that moment my only goal became reproducing the world that had sparked my fascination >l settle on a planet like earth and spend a week using nuclear fusion to reproduce the land and the oceans and genetic coding to recreate life >I create another apple tree to sit under so that l can ponder my existence my memories of childhood seem to be all l can think about >finally I create a man and a woman to remind me of my innocence that innocence is precious to me so I give them the one condition that they stay away from my apple tree >mfw that bitch didn't listen Sorry ass planet