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cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER : cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

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texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/: texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/

texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJ...

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texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/: texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJESTY!⁣ ⁣ You are above searching for something to sign your name with. When your signature is needed, someone should bow down and offer you a writing implement. And when you are done gracing the document with your royal name, the pen should be taken from you and held at the ready for next time. At least, that’s how special you’ll feel with an Executive Knight Pen Holder on your desk.⁣ ⁣ The Executive Knight Pen Holder is a bowing knight, hands raised to hold your modern quill. Your pen is held aloft, so you never have to figure out which stack of TPS reports it’s buried under. The Executive Knight Pen Holder comes with a pen, but he’s just as happy to hold any other pen (pencil, letter opener, spork, etc.) you own. The Executive Knight Pen Holder will make sure your pen is always at the ready for whatever words need to flow from it.⁣ #internetfamous #instagramfamous https://instagr.am/p/B-mpVMOl3O5/

texuhport:⎆ If you’re a business, brand or content creator, you’re gonna love this ⎆⁣ 🔥 Executive Knight Pen Holder 🔥⁣ YOUR PEN, YOUR MAJ...

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ups-dogs:Captains “log”, stardate 2020:The starship U.P.S. Biscuitprise, on a 5 year mission to deliver packages and seek out doggo life in the vast darkness of the Newberg galaxy, has encountered a strange new life form.It appears to have some sort of cloaking technology that prevented it from showing up on our sensors. It is only just now visible on our screens, its presence betrayed by its glowing green eyes that have taken control of my ship and exerted a strange, hypnotic effect on my crew. It appears to be attempting to barter with us by offering a large chunk of worthless space debris in exchange for our entire supply of biscuits. All attempts to resist its alien, hypnotic influence have failed. Our deflector shields are down; our phasers have no effect; even Mr Spock’s Vulcan Scratchie Claw is of no use against its unearthly power. Mr Scott informs me that the warp engines can no longer take the strain of trying to escape, so we are left with no option but to surrender to its insatiable demands if we want to save the Biscuitprise from utter destruction. I will therefore be beaming a big box of Bones to this bewitching and beastly beggar, in the hopes that it will then release its hold upon us and spare my crew and my ship from its alien wrath!By Scott Hodges: ups-dogs:Captains “log”, stardate 2020:The starship U.P.S. Biscuitprise, on a 5 year mission to deliver packages and seek out doggo life in the vast darkness of the Newberg galaxy, has encountered a strange new life form.It appears to have some sort of cloaking technology that prevented it from showing up on our sensors. It is only just now visible on our screens, its presence betrayed by its glowing green eyes that have taken control of my ship and exerted a strange, hypnotic effect on my crew. It appears to be attempting to barter with us by offering a large chunk of worthless space debris in exchange for our entire supply of biscuits. All attempts to resist its alien, hypnotic influence have failed. Our deflector shields are down; our phasers have no effect; even Mr Spock’s Vulcan Scratchie Claw is of no use against its unearthly power. Mr Scott informs me that the warp engines can no longer take the strain of trying to escape, so we are left with no option but to surrender to its insatiable demands if we want to save the Biscuitprise from utter destruction. I will therefore be beaming a big box of Bones to this bewitching and beastly beggar, in the hopes that it will then release its hold upon us and spare my crew and my ship from its alien wrath!By Scott Hodges

ups-dogs:Captains “log”, stardate 2020:The starship U.P.S. Biscuitprise, on a 5 year mission to deliver packages and seek out doggo life...

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lifepro-tips: The Top 7 Best Electric Cars on the Market Although electric cars are by no means a new phenomenon (the first all-electric vehicle was created in 1832!), it’s taken quite a while for them to make their mark in the mainstream auto space. In the past decade however, hybrids and all-electric cars have steadily risen in popularity thanks to rising tech quality and falling prices. With continuously improving battery quality, along with longer charge times and LED headlights standard on most offerings, the new generation of electric cars are poised to present consumers with a viable alternative to gasoline cars. If you’re looking to make the switch to electric or just want to upgrade your outdated model, we’ve got you covered with some of the best electric offerings on the market today. Keep reading to discover our top picks for your next electric car. : lifepro-tips: The Top 7 Best Electric Cars on the Market Although electric cars are by no means a new phenomenon (the first all-electric vehicle was created in 1832!), it’s taken quite a while for them to make their mark in the mainstream auto space. In the past decade however, hybrids and all-electric cars have steadily risen in popularity thanks to rising tech quality and falling prices. With continuously improving battery quality, along with longer charge times and LED headlights standard on most offerings, the new generation of electric cars are poised to present consumers with a viable alternative to gasoline cars. If you’re looking to make the switch to electric or just want to upgrade your outdated model, we’ve got you covered with some of the best electric offerings on the market today. Keep reading to discover our top picks for your next electric car.

lifepro-tips: The Top 7 Best Electric Cars on the Market Although electric cars are by no means a new phenomenon (the first all-electri...

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lifepro-tips: The Top 7 Best Electric Cars on the Market Although electric cars are by no means a new phenomenon (the first all-electric vehicle was created in 1832!), it’s taken quite a while for them to make their mark in the mainstream auto space. In the past decade however, hybrids and all-electric cars have steadily risen in popularity thanks to rising tech quality and falling prices. With continuously improving battery quality, along with longer charge times and LED headlights standard on most offerings, the new generation of electric cars are poised to present consumers with a viable alternative to gasoline cars. If you’re looking to make the switch to electric or just want to upgrade your outdated model, we’ve got you covered with some of the best electric offerings on the market today. Keep reading to discover our top picks for your next electric car. : lifepro-tips: The Top 7 Best Electric Cars on the Market Although electric cars are by no means a new phenomenon (the first all-electric vehicle was created in 1832!), it’s taken quite a while for them to make their mark in the mainstream auto space. In the past decade however, hybrids and all-electric cars have steadily risen in popularity thanks to rising tech quality and falling prices. With continuously improving battery quality, along with longer charge times and LED headlights standard on most offerings, the new generation of electric cars are poised to present consumers with a viable alternative to gasoline cars. If you’re looking to make the switch to electric or just want to upgrade your outdated model, we’ve got you covered with some of the best electric offerings on the market today. Keep reading to discover our top picks for your next electric car.

lifepro-tips: The Top 7 Best Electric Cars on the Market Although electric cars are by no means a new phenomenon (the first all-electri...

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prismatic-bell: the-invisible-self: pulmonary-poultry: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: mandalorianreynolds: kuriquinn: prismatic-bell: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: prismatic-bell: broken-bits-of-dreams: prismatic-bell: aiko-mori-hates-pedos: artbymoga: Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012… Good post OP Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty. WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice. 2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time. 3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy). So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.) Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers: Much appreciated. I love when scholarship and history debunks bullshit …I sadly have more bullshit to report. “removed for violating guidelines”, EVERY screenshot. …goddamnit Let’s try this again I am horrified that @prismatic-bell keeps getting censored + this info is gold. Many thanks, @pulmonary-poultry. This isn’t the only Jewish post of mine that’s mysteriously stopped showing up in searches and/or vanished from my blog entirely, but it is the one I get the most requests to repost, so this saves me from having to rewrite the whole damned essay. @the-invisible-self, thanks for bringing it to my attention that someone was able to preserve the post! : prismatic-bell: the-invisible-self: pulmonary-poultry: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: mandalorianreynolds: kuriquinn: prismatic-bell: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: prismatic-bell: broken-bits-of-dreams: prismatic-bell: aiko-mori-hates-pedos: artbymoga: Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012… Good post OP Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty. WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice. 2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time. 3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy). So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.) Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers: Much appreciated. I love when scholarship and history debunks bullshit …I sadly have more bullshit to report. “removed for violating guidelines”, EVERY screenshot. …goddamnit Let’s try this again I am horrified that @prismatic-bell keeps getting censored + this info is gold. Many thanks, @pulmonary-poultry. This isn’t the only Jewish post of mine that’s mysteriously stopped showing up in searches and/or vanished from my blog entirely, but it is the one I get the most requests to repost, so this saves me from having to rewrite the whole damned essay. @the-invisible-self, thanks for bringing it to my attention that someone was able to preserve the post!
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meara-eldestofthemall: girlactionfigure: Eugene Lazowski was a Polish doctor who saved thousands of Jews during the Holocaust by creating a fake epidemic that kept the Germans away from their town. Eugene received his medical degree before the war started. After Germany invaded Poland in 1939, he became a military doctor with the Polish resistance. He was imprisoned in a German POW camp for his anti-Nazi activities. After his release in 1942, Eugene moved to a small town, Rozwadow, with his wife and young daughter. There he reunited with a friend from medical school, Stanislaw Matulewicz.Stanislaw made a medical discovery that seemed minor but proved monumental. He found that healthy people could be injected with a typhoid vaccine that would make them test positive for the deadly disease without actually contracting it.Eugene hatched a brilliant plan. He knew that Germans tended to be germaphobes and were terrified of typhus, a contagious bacterial disease. When a Polish town was found to be infected with typhus, the German occupiers would quarantine the entire area. Eugene also knew that by implementing his plan, he risked the death penalty, which applied to Poles who helped Jews. Undeterred by the risk, Eugene injected thousands of people with typhus and sent blood samples to the Germans to report the “epidemic.” He made sure to inject non-Jews as well as Jews, so the Nazis wouldn’t just come in and massacre all the Jews in town. Because it appeared to be a widespread epidemic, the Nazis stayed clear of Rozwadow. By late 1943, the Gestapo was suspicious. The entire town was supposedly infested with typhus, yet nobody was dying. Eugene learned a German medical team was being sent to the quarantined area. He frantically approached the oldest and sickest-looking people in town and asked them to wait in a squalid shack. When the visitors arrived, the villagers welcomed them with a party - featuring large quantities of vodka. After the celebration, the German doctors were taken to the “patients.” Eugene said, “I told them to be my guest and examine the patients, but to be careful because the Polish are dirty and full of lice, which transfer typhus.”The doctors quickly took blood samples without conducting full examinations of the patients. When the samples tested positive for typhus, the German health authorities were satisfied the epidemic was still raging. They never came back.After the war, Eugene didn’t tell anybody of his heroic acts, not even his wife. It wasn’t until a documentary was produced in 2000 about the fake epidemic that Eugene received the accolades he deserved. He passed away in 2006 at age 92.For risking his his life to save the Jews of Rozwadow, Poland, we honor Dr. Eugene Lazowski as this week’s Thursday Hero. Accidental Talmudist It’s important to remember that not all heroes wear tights and a cape. : meara-eldestofthemall: girlactionfigure: Eugene Lazowski was a Polish doctor who saved thousands of Jews during the Holocaust by creating a fake epidemic that kept the Germans away from their town. Eugene received his medical degree before the war started. After Germany invaded Poland in 1939, he became a military doctor with the Polish resistance. He was imprisoned in a German POW camp for his anti-Nazi activities. After his release in 1942, Eugene moved to a small town, Rozwadow, with his wife and young daughter. There he reunited with a friend from medical school, Stanislaw Matulewicz.Stanislaw made a medical discovery that seemed minor but proved monumental. He found that healthy people could be injected with a typhoid vaccine that would make them test positive for the deadly disease without actually contracting it.Eugene hatched a brilliant plan. He knew that Germans tended to be germaphobes and were terrified of typhus, a contagious bacterial disease. When a Polish town was found to be infected with typhus, the German occupiers would quarantine the entire area. Eugene also knew that by implementing his plan, he risked the death penalty, which applied to Poles who helped Jews. Undeterred by the risk, Eugene injected thousands of people with typhus and sent blood samples to the Germans to report the “epidemic.” He made sure to inject non-Jews as well as Jews, so the Nazis wouldn’t just come in and massacre all the Jews in town. Because it appeared to be a widespread epidemic, the Nazis stayed clear of Rozwadow. By late 1943, the Gestapo was suspicious. The entire town was supposedly infested with typhus, yet nobody was dying. Eugene learned a German medical team was being sent to the quarantined area. He frantically approached the oldest and sickest-looking people in town and asked them to wait in a squalid shack. When the visitors arrived, the villagers welcomed them with a party - featuring large quantities of vodka. After the celebration, the German doctors were taken to the “patients.” Eugene said, “I told them to be my guest and examine the patients, but to be careful because the Polish are dirty and full of lice, which transfer typhus.”The doctors quickly took blood samples without conducting full examinations of the patients. When the samples tested positive for typhus, the German health authorities were satisfied the epidemic was still raging. They never came back.After the war, Eugene didn’t tell anybody of his heroic acts, not even his wife. It wasn’t until a documentary was produced in 2000 about the fake epidemic that Eugene received the accolades he deserved. He passed away in 2006 at age 92.For risking his his life to save the Jews of Rozwadow, Poland, we honor Dr. Eugene Lazowski as this week’s Thursday Hero. Accidental Talmudist It’s important to remember that not all heroes wear tights and a cape.
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lampfaced: roguesareth: emeraldspiral: roguesareth: Do you want rabies? This is how you get rabies Is it really that big of a deal if your dog has autism? I need to reblog this again because no seriously R A B I E S: -is basically not treatable once you start showing symptoms. Straight up you will die and not in any kind of fun way. We’re talking flu symptoms that develop into hallucinations, severe hydrophobia, partial paralysis and a slew of other shit. -99% of rabies cases in the world come from stray dog bites. EXCEPT IN THE US. Rabies vaccines have nearly illuminated the threat from dogs. Our biggest concerns are wild animals like raccoons, skunks, foxes and coyotes and feral cats. -Rabies is extremely preventable by vaccines and nearly nonexistent in countries where the vaccine is widely available and taken advantage of. -B U T if people stop VACCINATING THEIR DOGS (and other animals that are susceptible like cats and farm animals like cows, horses and goats) we will likely see a rise in rabies cases among free roaming animals and BECAUSE we dont experience many cases (because of vaccines) and often people arent informed. We know “rabies is bad” but that seems to be it in a lot of cases, I’d wager a lot of people dont knownits transferable from animals to humans at all. -Most rabies cases in humans are children under 15. V A C C I N A T E Y O U R A N I M A L S -brought to you by me, who just did a research project on rabies for one of my MA classes I’m a vet tech, and the way that we try to convince people into vaccinating their pets at our clinic against rabies is telling them that it’s a federally mandated vaccine, and what happens should their animal bite someone if they have no current rabies vaccine on record. Basically, if your not-protected-against-rabies pet bites someone, regardless of if they’ve ever possibly been exposed or not, the animal needs to be tested. How do you test an animal for rabies? You look at extremely thin slices of brain tissue. And the only way to get that brain tissue is to euthanize and decapitate the animal, and send the entire head to the state lab where they can process it. Doesn’t matter why the bite happened, or how bad it was, or if the animal is completely healthy and doesn’t have rabies. If skin was broken, it has to be reported, and the animal’s fate is out of your hands.  Rabies is goddamn scary. : lampfaced: roguesareth: emeraldspiral: roguesareth: Do you want rabies? This is how you get rabies Is it really that big of a deal if your dog has autism? I need to reblog this again because no seriously R A B I E S: -is basically not treatable once you start showing symptoms. Straight up you will die and not in any kind of fun way. We’re talking flu symptoms that develop into hallucinations, severe hydrophobia, partial paralysis and a slew of other shit. -99% of rabies cases in the world come from stray dog bites. EXCEPT IN THE US. Rabies vaccines have nearly illuminated the threat from dogs. Our biggest concerns are wild animals like raccoons, skunks, foxes and coyotes and feral cats. -Rabies is extremely preventable by vaccines and nearly nonexistent in countries where the vaccine is widely available and taken advantage of. -B U T if people stop VACCINATING THEIR DOGS (and other animals that are susceptible like cats and farm animals like cows, horses and goats) we will likely see a rise in rabies cases among free roaming animals and BECAUSE we dont experience many cases (because of vaccines) and often people arent informed. We know “rabies is bad” but that seems to be it in a lot of cases, I’d wager a lot of people dont knownits transferable from animals to humans at all. -Most rabies cases in humans are children under 15. V A C C I N A T E Y O U R A N I M A L S -brought to you by me, who just did a research project on rabies for one of my MA classes I’m a vet tech, and the way that we try to convince people into vaccinating their pets at our clinic against rabies is telling them that it’s a federally mandated vaccine, and what happens should their animal bite someone if they have no current rabies vaccine on record. Basically, if your not-protected-against-rabies pet bites someone, regardless of if they’ve ever possibly been exposed or not, the animal needs to be tested. How do you test an animal for rabies? You look at extremely thin slices of brain tissue. And the only way to get that brain tissue is to euthanize and decapitate the animal, and send the entire head to the state lab where they can process it. Doesn’t matter why the bite happened, or how bad it was, or if the animal is completely healthy and doesn’t have rabies. If skin was broken, it has to be reported, and the animal’s fate is out of your hands.  Rabies is goddamn scary.
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ogaycanyousee: libertarirynn: my-ass-is-a-mythical-class: urbanfantasyinspiration: love-god-herself: love-god-herself: onion-souls: albaficalover: luanna801: nonlinear-nonsubjective: 1800snostalgia: Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears Follow for more 1800s nostalgia #who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x) So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on. No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos! “1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course There was also an 1893 From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today.  This is worse than the math post can yall like,,,, read????? Nobody on this hellsite can read at this point it’s established fact. : ogaycanyousee: libertarirynn: my-ass-is-a-mythical-class: urbanfantasyinspiration: love-god-herself: love-god-herself: onion-souls: albaficalover: luanna801: nonlinear-nonsubjective: 1800snostalgia: Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears Follow for more 1800s nostalgia #who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x) So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on. No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos! “1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course There was also an 1893 From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today.  This is worse than the math post can yall like,,,, read????? Nobody on this hellsite can read at this point it’s established fact.
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urbanfantasyinspiration: love-god-herself: love-god-herself: onion-souls: albaficalover: luanna801: nonlinear-nonsubjective: 1800snostalgia: Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears Follow for more 1800s nostalgia #who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x) So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on. No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos! “1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course There was also an 1893 From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today.  This is worse than the math post : urbanfantasyinspiration: love-god-herself: love-god-herself: onion-souls: albaficalover: luanna801: nonlinear-nonsubjective: 1800snostalgia: Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears Follow for more 1800s nostalgia #who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x) So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on. No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos! “1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course There was also an 1893 From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today.  This is worse than the math post
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urbanfantasyinspiration: love-god-herself: love-god-herself: onion-souls: albaficalover: luanna801: nonlinear-nonsubjective: 1800snostalgia: Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears Follow for more 1800s nostalgia #who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x) So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on. No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos! “1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course There was also an 1893 From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today.  This is worse than the math post : urbanfantasyinspiration: love-god-herself: love-god-herself: onion-souls: albaficalover: luanna801: nonlinear-nonsubjective: 1800snostalgia: Mugshot of a 2-year-old Francois Bertillon, arrested for eating a basket of pears Follow for more 1800s nostalgia #who the fuck arrested a two year old #what police officer was like YOU’RE COMING WITH ME SON #was it javert #i bet it was javert (x) So actually these photos were taken by the kid’s uncle, Alphonse Bertillon, who was a French police officer and inventor of the mug shot. These photos were just taken as a joke, probably when Bertillon was developing his mugshot technique and needed someone to practice on. No actual two-year-olds were arrested in the creation of these photos! “1880s nostalgia” with a pic from 1993 yes of course There was also an 1893 From people thinking a toddler was actually arrested, to people somehow misreading “1800s nostalgia” as “1880s,” to this person thinking a fucking daguerreotype was taken in the 1990s… this whole thread was a ride I didn’t expect to take today.  This is worse than the math post
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