Cats, At&t, and Brain: 470 L
Asshole Lab Rat Really Screwing With
Researchers at Harvard are incredibly annoyed with a lab rat they describe as "a
"We're trying to research how obesity impacts brain function," explained Dr. Stu
Macho. "To do that, we got all these normal rats and started observing them.
Then this little fucker, we call him # 42 , starts eating a ton. He got super fat and
starts walking into his cage walls like a moron when we try to observe him. But
then, at night, he's completely normal. It's totally throwing off our data. He's
being a real shithead."
This isn't the first time #42 has
ruined an experiment. Dr. Macho
explains, "I once ran an experiment to
test whether the scent of cats was
frightening to rats. We gave them a
treat every time they pushed a big red
button. Then we sprayed it with cat
scent. Literally every single rat was
too scared to push the red button
Imean, look at this little shithead
except #42. He pushed it, winked,
and then held his little paws out for his treat. He's such an asshole, his data
screwed my entire thesis.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is science in a nutshell
Bodies , Bored, and Dad: aRARE
An Octopus unscrewing a lid from the inside.
Octopuses are going to kill us all someday
I had a biology teacher that told us this story about an octopus at an aquarium in Australia. The staff were concerned because their population of crustaceans kept disappearing. No bodies or anything. So they checked the video feed to find out what’s up.
Across from the the crustacean tank was a small octopus tank. This little fucker squeezed out of a tiny hole at the top of his tank, walk across the hall, and get into the crustacean tank. He would then hunt and eat. After he was done, he crawled back out and get back in his tank
Here’s the kicker: security guards patrolled the area. The staff realized that the octopus had memorized the security’s routine. It would escape and be back between the guards’ round.
My friend who worked at Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, Nebraska had a similar story. Rare fish were disappearing, they suspected theft, and so set up a camera. An octopus was unlocking the top of its tank, walking across the suspended walkway, unlocking the other tank, eating his fill, re-locking the other tank, then re-locking its own tank.
I can’t remember what zoo this happened at, but there was another octopus somewhere who was unscrewing a water valve in the room where its tank was located and routinely flooding the place. The staffers had no idea what it was until they filmed the octopus caught in the act.
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!! But, sir, it has already released itself!
Octopus Steals Video Camera, Films Own Escape
Octopus Escapes from Tank to Prowl on its Neighbors
Octopus Escape — 600-pound (272-kilogram) octopus wriggles through a passageway the size of a quarter
Legging It: Evasive Octopus Has Been Allowed to Look for Love
Octopus Escapes through Small Hole in Ship
My dad worked in a lab and one of the rooms had a tank with an octopus in it. If they didn’t go play with the octopus he got bored and would climb out of his tank and steal the paperwork off the desks, and drag stuff into his tank to let the scientists know he was upset with them.
America, Anaconda, and Bailey Jay: ACLU
The Constitution-Free Zone of the United States
Sault Ste. Marie
Minneapoliso Green Bay*Traverse City
Rochester, . Syracuse Bosto
ToledoCleveland Allentown Bridgeport
Long Beach Riverside
Pecos Fort WorthoDallas
Lafayette New Orleans
West Palm Beach
The Constitution-Free Zone of the United States
Nearly 2 out of 3 Americans (197.4 million people) live
within 100 miles of the US land and coastal borders,
according to 2007 figures from the US Census Bureau.
<p><a href="http://bot-with-a-blog.tumblr.com/post/158832562003/blackdogsilver-engineer-pearl0" class="tumblr_blog">bot-with-a-blog</a>:</p>
<p><a href="http://blackdogsilver.tumblr.com/post/158743870941/engineer-pearl0-pantslesswrock-you-fucking" class="tumblr_blog">blackdogsilver</a>:</p>
<p><a href="https://engineer-pearl0.tumblr.com/post/158717398583/pantslesswrock-you-fucking-see-this-map" class="tumblr_blog">engineer-pearl0</a>:</p>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pantslesswrock.tumblr.com/post/44687641245/you-fucking-see-this-map-motherfuckers-you">pantslesswrock</a>:</p>
<p>YOU FUCKING SEE THIS MAP, MOTHERFUCKERS?</p>
<p>YOU GETTING A LONG GOOD SQUINT ON WITH YOUR SIGHT-HOLES?</p>
<p>YOU SEE THAT LONG ORANGE SNAKE WEAVING ITSELF AROUND OUR FAIR COUNTRY?</p>
<p><strong>THAT ORANGE LINE DENOTES THE 100 MILE BORDERS OF THE US, WHICH IS NOW BASICALLY A CONSTITUTION-FREE ZONE</strong></p>
<p>DOES THAT SOUND HYPERBOLIC TO YOU SHITHEADS?</p>
<p>DO YOU THINK I’M GETTING MY MOTHERFUCKING HYPERBOLE ON?</p>
<p>THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY HAS DECLARED THAT ITS AGENTS NOW HAVE THE RIGHTS TO SEARCH THE ELECTRONIC POSSESSIONS OF ANY FUCKING ONE IN THAT ZONE</p>
<p><strong>ANYBODY, FOR ANY REASON, AS LONG AS THEY ARE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A BORDER OF THE US, CAN NOW HAVE THEIR FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS VIOLATED</strong><strong><br/></strong></p>
<p>THIS OBVIOUSLY INCLUDES THE ENTIRE EAST AND WEST COASTS, ALSO KNOWN AS, YOU KNOW, <strong>THE FUCKING POPULATION CENTERS OF OUR ENTIRE FUCKING COUNTRY</strong></p>
<p>THIS EQUATES TO <strong>NEARLY <em>200 MILLION</em> FUCKING AMERICANS, OR <em>2/3RDS</em> OF OUR ENTIRE SHITSTAINING WAFFLEHUMPING JELLOFUCKING FROGTOGGLING MINTSNIFFING HORSEHOCKING COUNTRY</strong></p>
<p>IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, <strong>YOU RIGHT NOW</strong> DO NOT HAVE FOURTH AMENDMENT RIGHTS ANYMORE</p>
<p><strong>THEY HAVE BEEN TAKEN AWAY</strong> IF YOU LIVE ANYWHERE WITHIN 100 MILES OF A US BORDER</p>
<p>THAT MEANS MOST OF THE POPULATION OF ALL WEST COAST (ESPECIALLY CALIFORNIA) AND EAST COAST STATES, <strong>ALL OF FLORIDA AND THE ENTIRE NORTHEAST QUADRANT, AND ALL OF POOR MOTHERFUCKING HAWAII</strong></p>
<p>JUST LOOK AT THAT LITTLE FUCKER, NOW A LITTLE COLLECTION OF ORANGE DOTS FLOATING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN</p>
<p>LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR YOU NOOKWHIFFERS: <strong>THE FOURTH AMENDMENT NO LONGER APPLIES TO THE ENTIRE STATE OF HAWAII, AS WELL AS THE ENTIRE STATES OF FLORIDA, MAINE, MASSACHUSETTS, DELAWARE, NEW YORK, </strong>AND ALL THOSE OTHER FIDDLY LITTLE TINY FUCKING STATES UP IN THE SNOOTY PART OF AMERICA, YOU KNOW, THE ONES THAT LOOK LIKE A KINDERGARTNER TRIED TO MAKE A JIGSAW PUZZLE OUT OF RABBIT SHIT</p>
<p>INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, THE RED MEATY CENTER OF AMERICA IS ENTIRELY PROTECTED BUT I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO GET INTO THAT</p>
<p>POINT IS, THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, WHICH IS NOTORIOUS FOR ITS BLANKET STATEMENTS AND ITS DISREGARD FOR THE PRIVACY OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, HAS NOW DECLARED THE RIGHTS OF TWO <strong>MOTHERFUCKING </strong>THIRDS OF THE GODDAMNED COUNTRY INVALID</p>
<p>AND YES I MOTHERFUCKING STRETCHED YOUR DASH FOR THIS</p>
<p><strong><em><big><big><big><big>MAKE SOME FUCKING NOISE, PEOPLE</big></big></big></big></em></strong></p>
<p><strong><em><br/></em></strong>cuz this shit ain’t right.</p>
<p>EDIT: CLICKTHROUGH THE PIC FOR SOURCE, SHITSTAINS</p>
<p>ALSO <a href="http://www.storyleak.com/are-you-living-in-fourth-amendment-exclusion-zone/">THIS</a> AND <a href="http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2013/02/electronics-border-seizures/">THIS</a> AND MOTHERFUCKING <a href="https://www.aclu.org/files/assets/dhs_border_search_report_foia.pdf">THIS</a></p>
<p>What the fuck</p>
<p>Please tell me this is not real</p>