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Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddamn-doomguy: captainsnoop: big dick energy Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans. This is genuinely beyond big dick energy It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE) Holy shit Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.  Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.   ALPHA AF!!! I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him. Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
Big Dick, Bitch, and Fire: TBT PFC Moses Cardenes | It was summer in Rawah Iraq, 2007 NSW and The Highlanders had teamed up to lay hate and discontent through their battle-space w- a small Marine DET next door who stayed getting fucked up at Blue Hackle compound on Camp Kassem. CallsignFatal Highlanders TrojanHorse HunterKiller TFHighlander A young, skinny PFC with BCGs on his face and fire in his heart named Moses Cardenas was a Scout on his first combat deployment. On Aug 2, 07, his platoon set up a snap VCP. (2) bongos eerily halted in the distance refusing to advance. Suddenly(5) muj fucks started laying HEAVY hate on the plt w- PKMs and RPGs immediately wounding Rodie trying to bound for cover. Unable to engage from his position, Cardenas slung his dick over his shoulder, clutched his SAW for dear-fucking-life, and sprinted into the danger zone. While pulling a marine that was easily TWICE his fucking bodyweight w-o gear and ammo, he took a round to the neck that instantly dropped him. Having not one bitchmade bone in his body, he got back up, chicken winged his SAW and laid hate on the trucks while simultaneously walking backwards and buddy dragging Rodie. He then got shot AGAIN and dropped to the ground. But Cardenas having no quit in his heart got back up and dragged Rodie to safety. As soon as he was clear of the LAVs line of fire, big dick Texan Drew Perry opened up on bongo trucks w- 25mm and turned those motherfuckers into scrambled eggs. Unfortunately the platoon lost Lcpl Christian Vasquez but be damned if he didn’t fight bravely that day. Moses Cardenas was given the Silver Star for his actions MOSES CARDENAS SHOULD HAVE RECEIVED A MEDAL OF HONOR FOR WHAT HE DID ON THIS DAY. But due to the officer elitist nature of the United States Marine Corps, Cardenas received no such recognition and had he been you can be sure some coffee-sipping, clean-cammie-having, paper-bitch of an officer would have done their best to hinder the process. Fortunately for the Marine Corps, he’s still leading Marines to this day and has somehow found sets of trousers that fit his massive fucking balls. All the respect in the world for this Marine, Highlander forever. OAF TBT OAFNation