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Bitch, Children, and Chuck Norris: "R-r-r-r-r-roger Taylor!" Freddie Mercury on Roger Taylor "Drummer, dentist, and tailor. Roger Taylor does it all" ~ Oscar Wilde on Roger Taylor "I have more hair than him. Brian May on Roger Taylor "The hottest man ever!" Every woman on earth Roger Meddows Taylor (born 26 July 1949), known as Roger Taylor, is the hottest guy ever. He is hotter than you. He is hotter than your son. He is hotter than the sun. When he was born the whole hospital went up in flames as his hotness was just starting to begin. In his teens, the good-old fashioned lover boy developed a routine that flabbergasted even priapic heroes such as Bob Pant and Lemmie of Motorhead: he introduced himself as Roger Taylor to one groupie and as Roger Meddows to the next before his re-entrance as Roger Meddows-Taylor, the double- barrelled playboy to the hapless third. His mother was a contortionist in the Barnum & Bailey Circus and his father was out of work due to his incontrollable addiction to potatoes. Roger became a man very quickly. He was hot and enjoyed inflicting temporary amnesia on his schoolmates by pummeling them in their heads with rugby balls. He would then jog back into the locker room, put on a mesh muscle shirt and cut school to pump iron. Roger Taylor as a young woman For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Roger Meddows Taylor. Roger Taylor is cooler than you. Over 11,000 people have reported deafness caused by hearing Roger Taylor's falsetto. . He played most of his shows asleep. Much to Freddie's amusement, he tried to dye his hair before a show, only to turn it a striking shade of green...or was it purple? . Roger Taylor is friends with Eric Cartman . Roger would probably go shag somebody, mainly himself! Even though he's a drummer, he likes music, and can even sing! Roger Taylor can defeat Chuck Norris. His cell phone carrier is Sprint, which is why Sprint occasionally has poor service; his voice destroys reception. Roger Taylor stole the cookies from the cookie jar. Roger Taylor has his own line of alarm clocks and burglar alarms in Italy. Consequently, more people report to work on time and the crime rate has gone down. There is also an increase in deaf businessmen and robbers with ringing in the ears. Roger Taylor lost the Game. Roger has five children (that he knows of) that are all in fact clones of various aspects of him e.g his eldest son sounds exactly like him, his second son looks exactly like him and is a drummer. There is a small lake in Wichita named after Roger Taylor. Roger's vagina is also known as Australia because of it's largeness in size. Roger Taylor and Meg Ryan were separated at birth. Roger was known for cooking up a piece of bacon so scrumptious and big, Freddie kept it for himself and christened it his bitch Roger's penis is the size of Rhode Island due to its tiny stature. moveimbi:why is this the most accurate description of Roger Meddows Taylor ever 
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Baked, Club, and Fast Food: Secret Confessions of the Working Class OTARGET I don't know how true it is for the other stores but at my Target the door alarm is always going off for various reasons (most of the time when we are pushing carts in), and we've come to ignore it and dont even look if it goes off BED BATH& BEYOND Bed Bath and Beyond accepts expired coupons don't throw them away. They also accept competitor coupons for specific items. And you can return ANYTHING without a receipt even if you did not buy it from a BBEB. (You'll only get a store credit.) DS If you ship something that has to be delivered at a certain time of day (for instance, next day air usually needs to be there by 10:30) check the delivery time. If it gets delivered 10 minutes late or later, you get your money back. So a 10:45 delivery is considered refundable Abercrombie & Fitch While some Abercrombie locations are equipped with spritzers of Fierce (the brand's signature cologne) built into the walls, many locations aren't, and the employees are required to walk around at hour intervals and liberally spray every product and surface with the stuff. I happened to be in a location that got the best of both worlds, as we bath had the spritzers and were encouraged to go on spray-runs throughout the day, lest everyone's nostrils not be assaulted with the odor within a five-store radius. I worked for the Ritz Carlton for a few years. In my orientation, the HR rep told everyone that each employee has a special allowance of $1,500 to make sure they can help the guests feel like their stay would be memorable. There was a story about a guest who last his Rolex and asked the front desk if they had seen it or one of the maids took it and complained a lot. When the guest finally left, the guy from the front desk went out and purchased the guest a new Rolex and was reimbursed fully by the Ritz. The guest was extra happy and is now returning to the same property every year You don't need to have a Sam's Club membership to buy the liquor. Just tell the door person you are there to buy booze and they won't need to see your membership card. You can also grab a few of the free food samples as you walk through the store if your conscience allows it. FedEx The people who actually handle your packages are more or less slave laborers. NO ONE cares if you packages says fragile or has special instructions. Most of the time the workers hate their jobs so much they throw your box on purpose or stomp on it to make it fit in the trailer. UNITED STATES POSTAL SERVICE As a mail carrier for USPS, I know that all of the clerks and carriers in my office handle packages marked as fragile very carefully because we are so concerned about keeping customers. Plus they pay us well enough that we actually do care about our jobs and tanera Everything at Panera Bread is microwaved. All soups and pastas come in frozen bags reheated for the customer. Pastries and breads come in "half-baked, bakers just slap on some frosting/fruit, and heat it up. It's all fast-food quality food, but with a good ear ee World Overnight cast member here. Please leave your cremated loved ones at home. Stop dumping them in Haunted Mansion. They just get vacuumed up and disposed of srsfunny: Some Confessions Of The Working Class

srsfunny: Some Confessions Of The Working Class

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Navy, Seal, and Navy Seal: So is a rubber gasket on a aircraft carrier considered a Navy seal?

So is a rubber gasket on a aircraft carrier considered a Navy seal?

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Navy, Seal, and Navy Seal: So is a rubber gasket on a aircraft carrier considered a Navy seal?

So is a rubber gasket on a aircraft carrier considered a Navy seal?

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Military, Planes, and Carrier: US aircraft carrier docked with various military planes(2018)

US aircraft carrier docked with various military planes(2018)

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Apple, Beard, and Beautiful: 62,681 do all Americans have pet eagles? Yes I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasnt a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don't know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade... obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He's too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunatey but we've got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment's balcony Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom's-apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-plerced document hanging on my wall. what is this Get out Canada I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters' eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won't allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we're bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn't handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid's eagle you had to just man up and learn your lesson! Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I couldn't use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren't the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn't show up at all. I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late. And we've been together ever since. Some people think it's excessive to have two eagles. But what can I say, I'm a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, "You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses," but I digress. We don't have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWll aircraft carrier. I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here. It's hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light. Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so l was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn't just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here- it's not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays- was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn't just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America's natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother's eagle ceremony, which I wil always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart. you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny: Do All Americans Really Have Pet Eagles?
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Drunk, Facts, and Life: im weirdly knowlagable in the history of soda i dont even drink soda why do i know so much about it coke and pepsi taste different because coke was invent before refrigeration so it was designed to be drunk warm, while pepsi was designed after refrigeration was invented so it was designed to be drunk cold. as a result the tastes are different but if you drink pepsi cold and coke warm theyll taste the same Why the fuck do you know this i honestly have no idea coke's recipe was originally green but the designers made it brown so it looked more like tea Had they never seen green tea? i dont even know if green tea was invented in 1886 but they wanted to make the public more open to eating the fizzy drink Green tea was invented in the 13th century and made up 22% of the tea thrown off the ship in the Boston Tea Party alan i know about soda not green tea i will trade u information abt bees and carrier pigeons for information abt the history of soda no one knows where the origin of the name '7up' started but it did have a mood stabilizer in the original recipe found in present day anti-depressants i want facts about bees and carrier pigeons now Carrier pigeons come from a species of Wild Rock pigeon, and their flights could be as long as 1800 km and were used as early as 3000 years ago. You know in old cartoons where a character throws a beehive at someone, and you think 'lol, but that wouldn't work in real life'. Turns out it would, and did People used to lob beehives at the approximate location of the enemy forces to expose them this is amazing thank you I know about soda, not green tea
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America, Apple, and Avon: Follovw @PrettyAssDia Felon Friendly Employers. RT please Felon Friendly Employers Company Name Company Websit AAMCO Ace Hardware Albertson's http://www.aamco.com/career opportunities information.as http://www.acehardware.com/corp/index.isp?page iobs http://www.albertsons.com/our-companylemployment-positions/ American Greetings htt Apple Inc Applebee's Aramark AT&T Avon Products Bahama Breeze Baskin-Robbins Bed, Bath & Beyond http:llwww.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/static/Careers p://corporate.americangreetings.com/careers/whoweare.htm http://www.apple.com/jobs/us/ http://www.applebees.com/about-us/work-with-us http://www.aramark.com/careers/search-iobs/ http://att.jobs/ http://www.avoncompanv.com/aboutavon/careers/index.html http://www.bahamabreeze.com/careers/ https://www.baskinrobbins.com/content/baskinrobbins/en/careers.html Best Western Black & Decker Braum's Inc Bridgestone Buffalo Wild Wings http://www.buffalowildwings.com/en/careers/ Cambell's Sou http://www.bestwestern.com/about-us/careers/ http://www.stanleyblackanddecker.com/careers http://www.braums.com/careers/ http://www.bridgestone.com/jobs/ http://careers.campbellsoupcompany.com/ http://www.carisjr.com/jobs Carrier Corporation http://www.utc.com/careers/Pages/default.aspx Chick-fil-A Chipotle http://www.cdwjobs.com/ http://www.chick-fil-a.com/Company/Careers-Team-Opportunities http://www.chilis.com/en/pages/employment.aspx?AspxAutoDetectCookieSup http://chipotle.com/en-US/careers/get rolling/get rolling.aspx http://www.chryslercareers.com/Pages/default.aspx http://www.cintas.com/careers/ http://www.cecintl.com/employment.html Community Education Centers ConAgra Foods Dairy Queen Dart Containers Deer Park Spring Water co Delta Faucets Denny's Dole Food Company Dollar Tree http://www.conagrafoodscareers.com/ http://www.dairyqueen.com/us-en/Company/Careers/?localechange 1& https://www.dartcontainer.com/jobs-careers/ http://nestlewaterscareers.com/ http://jobs.masco.com/ http://www.jobs.net/jobs/dennys-diner/en-us http://www.dole.com/Company-Info/Careers http://www.dollartree.com/custserv/custserv.jsp?pageName StoreCareers& Dr. Pepper Dunlop Tires Dunkin' Donuts DuPont Duracell Eddie V's Embassy Suites Careers https://secure.drpeppersnapplegroup.com/careers/ http://www.goodyear-dunlop.com/career/ http://www.dunkindonuts.com/content/dunkindonuts/en/ddcareers html http://www.dupont.com/corporate-functions/careers.html http://208. 1 73.184. 182/company/careers.asp?id=59& https://www.eddiev.com/en/about-us/careers http:l/jobs.hiltonworldwide.com/en/our-brands/embassy-suites/?cntry sunite http://www.epson.com/cgi- bin/Store/jsp/dlp/dyn http://www.ermco.com/careers/ http://corporate.familydollar.com/pages/careers.aspx namicLanding.do?dlpld-n 1103 careers welcome&cch ERMCO, Inc Family Dollar Firestone Auto Care httpl/www.pilotflyingi com/find-jobs Felon Friendly Employers Company Name Company Website http://www.pilotflyingj com/find-jo https://fsafoodcareers-fsafood.icims.com/jobs/ in Food Services of America Frito-Lay Fruit of the Loom Genentech General Electric General Mills Georgia-Pacific Golden Corral Goodman Grainger Great Clips Hanes HH Gregg Hilton Hotels http://www.fritolay.com/company/media http://shop.fruit.com http://www.gene.com/careers http://www.ge.com/career https://careers.generalmills.com nttp://www.gp.com/Careers/Careers-Overview.aspx ttp://goldencorral.hodesig.com/job start.asp http://careersatgoodman.com/ http://www.experiencedone.com/ http://salonjobs.areatclips.com/?utm source-careersite https://iobs-hanesbrands.icims.com/jobs http://www.hhgregg-iobs.com/ http://jobs.hiltonworldwide.com/ http://www-03.ibm.com/employment/ http://www.ihop.com/careers http://www.ikea com/mslen USithe kea storyjobs at (kea/ http://www.in-n-out.com/employment/restaurant.aspx IHOP a. n-N-Out Burger International Paper http://www.inter Interstate Batteries http://www.interstatebatt J.B. Hunt Transport http://www.jbhunt.com/jobs Jack in the Box Jiffy Lube Jimmy Johns Kelly Moore Paintshttp://kellymoore.com/company/careers nationalpaper.com/USIEN/Company/Careers/SearchPositions.ht ireer/jobscareers.asp http://careers jackintheboxinc.com/ https://www.jiffylube.com/careers https://www.jimmyjohns.com/company/jobs/ http://jobs.kfc.com/ http://kohlscareers.com/ http://www.kraftcareers.com/en-us/ http://www.longhornsteakhouse.com/careers Kraft Foods Longhorn Steakhouse McDonald's Men's Wearhouse http://employment.menswearhouse.com/ats/? company code tmw Metals USA Miller Brewing Company Motorola Nordstrom O'Charley's Olive Garden http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/careers.html http://www.metalsusa.com/contact.as http://www.millercoors.com/AgeVerification.aspx http://www.motorolacareers.com/default.aspx http://about.nordstrom.com/careers/ http://www.ocharleys.jobs/jobs.html http://www.olivegarden.com/careers/ http://www.pactiv.com/careers http://pappadeaux.com/careers/ http://www.pepsicoiobs.com/en http://careers.petsmart.com/ http://preferredfreezerservices theresumator.com/a https://exoffenders.net/employment-jobs-for-felons/phillip-morris/ https://jobs-pilgrimspride.icims.com/jobs/intro http://www.praxair.com/careers https://careers. peopleclick.com/careerscoiclient carlsonlexternal chw/sear Pappadeaux PetSmart Philip Morris Inc pply Praxair Radisson Felon Friendly Employers Company Website Company Name Red Lobster Red Robin Restaurant Depot Reyes Beverage Group Rubbermaid Safeway Salvation Army Sara Lee Sears & Roebuck http://jobs.sears.com http://www.redlobster.com/employment/ http://www.redrobin jobs http://www.jetrordcareers.com/ http://jobs.reyesholdings.com/Reyes-Holdings-Reinhart-Beverage-Group.as ttp://www.rubbermaid.com/mear aboutUS/Pages/Careers.aspx http://www.careersatsafeway.com/ https://secure.sterlingdirect.com/jobboard/salvationarmycareers/without fl/ho http://www.hillshirebrands.com/Careers.aspx Seasons 52 Shell Oil Shoprite Sony Subway https://www.seasons52.com/en/about-us/careers p://www.shell.com/global/aboutshell/careers.html http://www.shoprite.com/career-opportunities http://www.sonyjobs.com/ http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/careers/ http://www.sysco.com/careers.html http://www.teslamotors.com/careers http://www.traderjoes.com/careers/ http://www.tysonfoodscareers.com/ http:/jobs.uhaul.com/ http://www.usfoods.com/USFCareers.html https://www.ussteel.com/uss/portal/home/careers/jobopportunities Sysco Tesla Trader Joe's Tyson Foods U-Haul US Foods US Steel Corporation Volunteers of America Wendy's WinCo Foods Wyndham Hotels Yard House http://www.voa.org/careers https://www.wendys.com/en-us/careers http://wincofoods.com/about/careers/ http://careers wyndhamworldwide.com/ http://www.yardhouse.com/careers RETWEETS LIKES 13,527 8,042 swagintherain: This can save lives of many Black people who were wrongly convicted and arrested on drug possession charges. 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Fbi, Friends, and Post Office: To the thoughtful, but aggrieved, neighbor who left a note under my door written on t cover of my New Yorker magazine stating: he "You either leave a note to the mailman telling him to stop fitting your mail in my mailbox or I will keep your mail," First of all, Thank you very much for placing my mail under my door. That was truly neighborly of you Per your kind suggestion, I have left a note to the mail carrier asking them to please put my mail in my mailbox. I hope this instruction will suffice, but as you did not include your name or apartment number, I was unable to ask the carrier to avoid putting my mail in your mailbox specifically. If you would like me to to include this information in my note, kindly write your name and apartment number on this paper and I will gladly pass it along to our carrier. I have also called the post office alerting them to this problem. Further, Elaina, our super, with whom I have shared your note, has offered to speak with the carrier personally. I have taken every measure I can think of to prevent this egregious act from occurring again, including sharing your concern (and your note) with other friends and neighbors I am truly sorry for the grievous inconvenience this has caused you. (And, on a more selfish note, I would also like my own mail put in my own mailbox.). If the unthinkable should happen again, and the mail carrier should inadvertently put my mail in your mailbox, perhaps, instead of troubling yourself with the onerous task of delivering it directly to my door, you could just leave it on the ledge above the mailboxes as the rest of our neighbors do for one another Thank you again for neighborly thoughtfulness. It does, indeed, inspire reciprocity. C. Fay Apartment #39 P.S.: If this unfortunate event should re-occur, and you do feel compelled to keep my mail as you intimate in your note, I understand from my brother-in-law (who is in the FBI) that tampering knowingly with another's mail might constitute a federal offense. (I share this information with you in the same neighborly spirit implicit in your own missive.) Of course, pressing such a charge could prove problematic, as you have diffidently kept your identity anonymous. Therefore, my brother-in-law has offered to dust the mail you left under my door for fingerprints should it become necessary. I do hope it won't. I told my brother-in-law, thought that would be over reacting. This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan. (i.redd.it)

This neighbor dispute has a clear winner. And I am now C. Fay from apt 39’s biggest fan. (i.redd.it)

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