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Beautiful, Bless Up, and Chicago: l just rescued this beautiful girl, and she is sleeping inside for the first time in her life Reddit u/CollectiveOfCells @DrSmashlove So Iโ€™m texting with my lil homegirl in Toronto and Iโ€™m like โ€œaye yโ€™all got Chil Fil A in Toronto ๐Ÿค”โ€ and she like โ€œnahโ€ and Iโ€™m like โ€œaight when u slide thru Chicago itโ€™s onโ€ and she like โ€œsmash! We donโ€™t fvck with Chik Fil A! ๐Ÿ˜คโ€ And thatโ€™s when I had to stop her right there, bruv. See I donโ€™t blame u Canadians because yโ€™all really woke the long way but I gotta splain sum real quick. We all out here tryina make things right. U feel me? We all taking a stand. Against inequality. Against intolerance. I feel that. My fist in the air too, sis. BUT REVOLT HAS A LINE THAT CANNOT BE CROSSED AND THAT LINE IS CHIK FIL A ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚. Do I like they stance on same sex marriage? No. Do I like they tenders? Also no. I LOVE THEY TENDERS, BRUV. I PEEL OPEN THAT SRIRACHA SAUCE AND I PEEL OPEN THAT POLYNESIAN SAUCE AND I DUNK + TWIRL MY MEAT IN BOTH SAUCES - IN ALTERNATING FASHION - AS MY HEART (and belly, and eye) SHED A SINGLE TEAR OF HAPPINESS. But Smash, what if tomorrow they tweeted โ€˜Chik Fil A supports the Trump Travel Ban, go back to your country ๐Ÿ˜ค.โ€™ Well see now sis, extraordinary measures require extraordinary responses. I would go directly to my jeweler Tony on Wabash. I would say โ€œTony my dude imma need a cross.โ€ Tony: โ€œsmash...you donโ€™t wear crosses(?)โ€ Me: โ€œTONY GIMME THE CROSS AND STOP AXING QUESTIONS. MAKE SURE IT GOT JESUS ON IT. Put diamonds in the thorns too ๐Ÿ™‚.โ€ And I would stroll to Chik Fil A on State Street. And put that cross on, go in and say โ€œtwo orders of tenders and a peach milkshake please.โ€ The black cashier would eye me. I would eye her back. I would look down. I would look back up and see her shaking her head: โ€œsmash...I served u daily during Ramadan. DAILY. In here like a crack addict at sundown in your suit - 8:32 pm on the dot Iโ€™m handing you tenders. And youโ€™re back? After what they said about the trump ban? Wearing a CROSS(?)โ€ And I would, with a solemn stare, mouth the following words โ€œsis...issa time to fight and itโ€™s a time to eat. The only thing standing between me and the dinner God hath planned for me is you. YOU COULD CATCHETH THESE HANDS. Glory be to Jesus.โ€ BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Beard, Bless Up, and Cookies: u/mr oberts 16d i.redd.it My wife does wedding flowers and occasionally gets to make flower collars for dogs. Here is Donna helping out by modeling @DrSmashlove Today I have reached the high point of my career, bruv. No I did not get a promotion. Nor did I get a raise. Did my title change? Also no. Corner office? No maโ€™am (thankfully my office-view is pretty dope as it is and for that I am thankful ๐Ÿคฒ). Head of a group? Nuh uh. Something sweeter. Something more valuable. Something nearer and dearer to my heart. Today, dear friends, when the food services people (who are the real MVPs) set up my business lunch in the conference center (chicken breasts, fingerling potatoes, Brussels sprouts, salad, rolls and cookies...side note...fingerling? LMAO. Who invented this word? Itโ€™s like the daintiest, most petite finger. โ€œAlice has the most adorable hands. Theyโ€™re not even fingers...theyโ€™re fingerlings ๐Ÿค—.โ€ But I got big hands so what that make me? โ€œSmash got bear paws, bruv. He ainโ€™t een got fingers, he got โ€˜Fingertonsโ€™โ€ ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ok imma donkey lemme stop). So anyway when I get to the room and they had lunch set up...THEY ALREADY PUT THE TABASCO AND SRIRACHA OUT THERE FOR ME ๐Ÿ˜ฅ. I was so happy I was damn near beaming. A lump formed in my throat and a single tear trickled down my low, shaped beard. No more walk of shame to the supplies closet where they hide the seasonings so some of our more Caucasoidally-inclined clients donโ€™t sustain any inadvertent burns (caucasoids I love yall and I know some of u are bout that spicy lifestyle but some of u might damn near cough out a lung out if we keeping it 600 lol.) The staff had my back. They knew that these negotiations are tough when I attempt to choke down a completely unseasoned chicken breast, as my esophagus will sometimes reject food that hasnโ€™t been bathed in at least two or three different hot sauces. Todayโ€™s negotiation went wonderfully. I felt like I was skipping about the room in a tutu lmao pause. Anyway I feel like itโ€™s not much more for me to do out here, bruv. I always felt like an outsider in this corporate ting, but today...I still feel like an outsider ๐Ÿค— LMAO BUT THEY HAD MY BACK WITH THE HOT SAUCE AND IMMA REMEMBER THIS DAY FOREVER. NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE WINS. MamaWeMadeIt BLESS UP ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Today I have reached the high point of my career, bruv. No I did not get a promotion. Nor did I get a raise. Did my title change? Also no. C...