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Being Alone, Bad, and Funny: reddit Hello, A few months ago l captured an American Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to capture that roach and I made him my pet. I name him Big Alan I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to him, etc. Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3 dates, and before this new date my last prior date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this new date I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I have him with me. He is like a good luck charm of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would have a good meal and he would be distracted b that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out of my pocket. Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to show her. Well let me tell you she did react very oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to explain to everyone he is just my pet. Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran. Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all of this. I have resolved I will not do any more dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I know this is unfair. But it's how I feel. tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny

tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality t...

Ass, Bitch, and Shit: <p><a href="https://officer-k-k.tumblr.com/post/175494202983/libertarirynn-bluebreeze52-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">officer-k-k</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/175492975579/bluebreeze52-libertarirynn-as-seen-today-on" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bluebreeze52.tumblr.com/post/175492912395/libertarirynn-as-seen-today-on-philly-d-shane" class="tumblr_blog">bluebreeze52</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/175492856546/as-seen-today-on-philly-d-shane-dawson-released" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>As seen today on Philly D, Shane Dawson released behind the scenes video that shows not only was Tana aware of having oversold the venue, she was actively excited at the prospect of people waiting outside in the blazing hot sun with no water or shelter, just because it would make her look good.</p> <p>All of the “good intentions“ arguments are out the window now. She knew exactly what she was doing with this shit.</p> </blockquote> <p>Why do people still give this bitch the time of day? The Content Cop about her last year already proved how awful she is.</p> </blockquote> <p>But you would not believe how many people still stan her. Even after this shit her fans are all over Twitter like “Tana bby you did nothing wrong!!! People are so mean to you 😢😢😢”</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mZHrjydhp9oUbxMGBDJA8rw">@libertarirynn</a> Michael Weiss the CEO of GoodTimes (the company Tana was working with) shit the bed with the planning among other things.</p> <p> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xFtIsyRvNE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xFtIsyRvNE</a></p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLFOqYjmroA">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLFOqYjmroA</a><br/></p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YLY9P-nIAk">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YLY9P-nIAk</a><br/></p> <p>you gotta watch all 3 parts. Its really just two, 20 year old kids who put themselves in the 50 foot deep end of an olympic pool.</p> <p>trust me i don’t like Tana either, she’s loud and just really obnoxious, But she’s WAY too young to do this kind of thing.</p> </blockquote><p>Oh please spare me that “she’s too young“ bit. 20 years old is plenty old enough to know that hosting an event with more people than you have room for is a recipe for disaster, especially when safety concerns were a big part of the reason you were having trouble with Vidcon in the first place. </p><p>And yes the CEO is a scumbag who deserves just as much hate, but that doesn’t let Tana off the hook. She is literally bragging about people having to wait outside. She knew from the outset that people would not be able to get in and she didn’t inform people of this or make any sort of preparations for them like water or tents. She lied outright about how many people there were and at first tried to make it seem like the only reason things didn’t go well was because a bunch of random people showed up, when that was her plan all along. </p><p>This is not rocket science. This isn’t just “a couple of kids who made some mistakes”. These are grown ass people making stupid, poorly thought out decisions for their image and ego and nothing else. Her crocodile tears do not move me in the slightest.</p>