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spacetool: highladyofthesith: transgirlpinup: theblondlesbianfromthesnakehouse: gavinscreamingmichaelyelling: time-is-a-many-splendored-thing: douglasmurphy: rainbowcoffin: c-h-0-w: nightwife: Always reblog Woah well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happensounds to me like he was asking for it Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know.  If he didn’t want to be decapitated, he shouldn’t have worn a shirt that showed off his neck I mean, not all woman decapitate people. I’m not like that. I’m sure he somehow liked it Look, I’ve heard men’s bodies have a way of just rejecting a decapitation. He shouldn’t have been out by himself…. She did nothing wrong. She was just having a bit of fun. You know, girls will be girls. He shouldn’t be so uptight about it. : on rapist A WOMAN made preg nant by a rapist shot him ten times and cut his head off after authori- ties refused to let her have an abortion. The victim hurled the severed head into her vil- lage square, shoutin that her attacker ha toyed with her honour", The man had taken nude photos of her and blackmailed her before raping her repeatedly The 26-year-old has been hailed a heroine for her actions by women's groups in Turkey spacetool: highladyofthesith: transgirlpinup: theblondlesbianfromthesnakehouse: gavinscreamingmichaelyelling: time-is-a-many-splendored-thing: douglasmurphy: rainbowcoffin: c-h-0-w: nightwife: Always reblog Woah well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happensounds to me like he was asking for it Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know.  If he didn’t want to be decapitated, he shouldn’t have worn a shirt that showed off his neck I mean, not all woman decapitate people. I’m not like that. I’m sure he somehow liked it Look, I’ve heard men’s bodies have a way of just rejecting a decapitation. He shouldn’t have been out by himself…. She did nothing wrong. She was just having a bit of fun. You know, girls will be girls. He shouldn’t be so uptight about it.

spacetool: highladyofthesith: transgirlpinup: theblondlesbianfromthesnakehouse: gavinscreamingmichaelyelling: time-is-a-many-splendor...

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imagine-venom: thirsty-venom-posts: zeddpool: Tag yourself, I’m Dr. Dan and Eddie Baby (Bonus points if you caught the Monty Python reference) Edit: Realised I’d gotten Dan surname wrong, oops Oh god I’m Annie With The Good Hair can’t believe I’m going to expose myself like this but I am the parasite. mmmmMMMMMM : Eddie Baby Messy Disaster Bisexual Certified Sweaty Boi Parasite TM Annie With The Good Hair Extremely Chaotic Gay Fuck the police Sex Icon Jealous Bitch Distinguished Bi DESERVED BETTER Boss Ass Bitch Dumped in the trash and hit by a car, but this pigeon isn't giving up Monster Fucker Extrordinaire Funnier than people give him credit for DTF: Down To Fight Hair and makeup on point Just wants a nap Stressed Looks like an asshole, actually a sweetheart Chocoholic Mmm Watcha Say Nervous Lesbian Also Deserved Better Loves her kids Will probably hesitate, bitch Diet Elon Musk The worst straight person you know -100% got "friendzoned" in high school Dr. Dan Functional Ace Will love and support you Everyone hates him even though he Actually makes some pretty valid points about how much humans suck??? did nothing wrong Mom Friend Probably Polyam Probably has more coffee than blood Stone Cold Bitch .Thinks he's smarter/more intersting than he is, actually just an asshole Terrible Liar Seriously, y'all are sleeping on my man Dan Lewis, wtf imagine-venom: thirsty-venom-posts: zeddpool: Tag yourself, I’m Dr. Dan and Eddie Baby (Bonus points if you caught the Monty Python reference) Edit: Realised I’d gotten Dan surname wrong, oops Oh god I’m Annie With The Good Hair can’t believe I’m going to expose myself like this but I am the parasite. mmmmMMMMMM
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tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny : reddit Hello, A few months ago l captured an American Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to capture that roach and I made him my pet. I name him Big Alan I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to him, etc. Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3 dates, and before this new date my last prior date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this new date I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I have him with me. He is like a good luck charm of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would have a good meal and he would be distracted b that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out of my pocket. Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to show her. Well let me tell you she did react very oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to explain to everyone he is just my pet. Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran. Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all of this. I have resolved I will not do any more dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I know this is unfair. But it's how I feel. tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny

tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personalit...

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