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Dicks, Fire, and Memes: TBT - SSG Corey Calkins Ladies and gentlemen, gather round the campfire as we light up your field day celebrations with a celebration of our own. That’s right, it’s time to throw this thing back to February 2010. A simpler time, a time before David Petraeus locked his knees at a senate hearing, and back when you could still tinkle on dead Taliban. omgtakemebackkkk⠀ ⠀ Today we’re talking about every Marine from 6th Reggie’s favorite little town in Afghanistan’s Helmand Province. marjahmarjahmarjah⠀ ⠀ What many of you may not know, however, is that them Gyrenes weren’t the only ones with their dicks in the dirt giving Terry the ol’ whatfor. Case in point, the subject of today’s OAF TBT; Staff Sgt Corey Calkins aka CashMoneyCorey⠀ ⠀ While serving as a weapons sergeant for ODA 3121, Cake Crushin’ Calkins was part of the coalition push through Marjah. On 18 February 2010, he led an assault of ANA troops against a platoon-sized element of Taliban fuckbois at a key intersection near the bazaar in Marjah. While under intense small arms, RPG, and mortar fire, Corey the Cockslapper charged the enemy position like a robust lesbian hopped up on Jack Daniels in a domestic dispute; inspiring his ANA troops to follow and overwhelm the Taliban position. TakeTheirShoes⠀ ⠀ After locking down the intersection and surrounding positions, Corey continued to fuck Terry six ways to Sunday by voluntarily continuing to drive the man-titty-havin’ soyboys out of smalls arms and RPG range so three critically wounded Marines could be evacuated. He aggressively pursued the enemy hotter than the homies in Tekashi 69’s cell block are pursuing his butthole. LemmeTugOnYoDickALilWhile⠀ ⠀ For his actions that day, SSG Calkins was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross and earned himself a lifetime supply of bummed cigs, fat pinches of dip, and near-beers from every Marine in the Ghan. ThereGoesMyHero ⠀ ⠀
Driving, Life, and Netflix: 'Dream Unified Sc FA aturday, Ja 8:00 a.m.-1 Sunnyside High School 1 en Department of Transport who has an Employment issued by the Departmen citrity is entitled to a state Cross Scott. who works at a local tire center MPZ CHesTYノARtZON40AO STAR motor vehicle. Local man saves woman withP helearned fromTV's'The Office, The action came as i 4 2018 T Campbell that issue leento% to every İstan ca- Court rejected the st "dreamers"- those States flegally as chl censed By Danyelle Khmara for CPR in my life" Scott said. phone when driving custom I had no idea what I was do- ers' vehicles, to avoid theds CPR CLASSES But Ducey insisted gated to issue licenses t ernment placed in oth grams, lHike the victims RIZONA DALY STA Nothing in Cross Scott's ing: ife prepared him for finding Scott, the lead shop tech driving. traction of taking a call while The Red Cross ofters free hand-only CPR 30-minute steering wheel, her lips blae, Auto Care on South Siath Av. at Jack Purrier for three yearstono fnd cut aboufclesses clined to comment, st He says he fust reacted. He enue and East Valencia Road, But he's been working since call 520-381-6740 lawsuit were being mač broke a back window, opened was test-driving a customer's he was 14, often times more To take more extensive classment of Transportatio her door and crawled on top of car on Jan. 1l when he saw the than one job. Tall and lanky, es In CPR and a host of other ously said he wanted her. With no training, he gave white sedan with its hazard Scott's the kind of person who lifesaving techniques, go to her CPR that may have saved lights blinking in a dirt pull runs to open doors for wom redcross.org/take a-class for her life. even after a federal fud That decision will c off by Sixth Avenue and Drexel Road. Scott never brings his a variety of classes and prices See CPR, A2 "I've never prepared myself ANALYSIS Despite falling home sales, many properties still not affordable forpotential middle-class buyers First I was afraid, I was petrified

First I was afraid, I was petrified

God, Oh My God, and Saw: supersugoiboi: violetohara: the-polyhedron: conquerorwurm: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: Tiny dirty stray kitten hanging out at the bottom of our stairs since yesterday. There are a lot of self-reliant ferals around our apartment, but this little thing was dirty covered in burrs. We gave it some chicken but couldn’t catch it. I think it may have wandered over from the outdoor cat hoarder colony down the street; that house is awful we saw kittens there last week. This morning the downstairs neighbor managed to grab it for us, and I put it on this cozy towel started combing and picking the burrs sticks out of its fur. It calmed down immediately and has been chilling here with me in the kitchen ever since. Got a vet appointment in an hour to get my little buddy cleaned up checked out. I hope it isn’t too sick; I think it might have a cold. If we can, we are probably going to keep her. What a difference a day makes! Took this little guy to the vet, got the fleas and dirt washed off him, got some antibiotics for a slight cold, but he is otherwise fine. Kneading and purring up a storm, eating a lot and being heart-crushingly adorable.  We have named this glorious creature Nux. A little over a month later and Nux is growing into a very long and floppy shoulder cat! Oh my god!!!! i’m so happy for this cat i hope nux knows im proud of him I just told him!

supersugoiboi: violetohara: the-polyhedron: conquerorwurm: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: violetohara: Tiny dirty stray ...

Lawyer, Love, and Shoes: the funniest thing in the entire pirates of one scene in At World's End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it and rather then have him stand in thhe shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it who thought of that idea? who thought put davy jones in a bucket of water and had the guts to suggest aloud? and then who went "hey that sounds at some point someone toid davy janes bucket of water and he agreed to it tis ok but notice the trail of buckets behind before he got into the one hes standing It's even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the Some folic are asking wel, if he can avaid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn't that ruin his whole motvation?" but he's not on The parley takes place on a sandbar the shore, that spends most of its time What Jones is doing here is rules- the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this "Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the share below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoas? What if Does it have to be seawater, ar will ay water do? Does it have to be a natural Pretty sure that this implies that the the water toig bucket with just a bit of sand), would quaify as dry land. That's absurd, so I'm pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse It may be absurd, but the text of the fitm bears it out Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it's a sea, but not whie it's on land indeed that's why he buried it on land in the first place to break his connection with it)-yet placing the heart n a simplo jar land does, aven ifth0 jar is a boat at filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jonescrse Then the reverse should aso be true. i he buried it in a jer of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to senso it. So by this logia, any container a curse than it is to weasel around i-I figune that's why he's using multple forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it's technically not dry land (it's a exposed only at low tide) and he technicaly ddn't set foot on it thes standing in a bucker of wateri. It's ckay but this all raises one further, very dry land he's forbidden from, what can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he trow down in a pear This is the quality content I come to could he step ฉn land if his shoes are No matter how ridiculous PotC gets l will love it. Especially when it results in What it he crawis around on his hands and inees, with his teet raised slightly nto the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air baloon, or in the clews of a giant Whar it hes carried by two swaliows In fact im not entirely sure thalt it wasnt At Wit’s End

At Wit’s End

Animals, Bones, and Church: teaboot The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it's honestly a waste that my entire life isn't constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS teaboot 1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home. 2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn't talk about it again. 3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized "wait it's dark as fuck so I just held still until the guy gave up and left. . The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so l told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl's underwear a day later andI never saw him again 5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver's side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out 6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he'd locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him you know that sounds super suspicious right and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead 7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so l clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn't follow me onboard 8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again. 9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me 'piñata and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie c got caught torturing animals cause he finally 10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks 11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually es- caped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wig- gling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lved another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped 12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home 13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play 'bloody mary in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said "no thanks" and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead. 14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of... locked up forever and never gon ear 15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360° spin with nobody touching it, so I said 'that was neat' and never ate there again 16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing l'd ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn't even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds teaboot Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking teaboot I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say "no elsean Source: teaboot 205.063 notes Teaboots Adventures As That White Girl in Horror Movies
Tumblr, Blog, and Mesopotamia: tanyushenka: Three men standing in a dirt field eating large pieces of flatbread Mesopotamia (undated)

tanyushenka: Three men standing in a dirt field eating large pieces of flatbread Mesopotamia (undated)

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: dick-rider-dave-strider: strangelyobsessedwithstuff: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders: ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE. NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGESthanks for the tip karkat reference
Alive, Bad, and Definitely: Kayla, Aug 15, 9:06 AM PDT Hello Jacob, Thank you for reaching out to Lush Cosmetics! It is always wonderful to hear from customers - humans and vampires alike! I apologize if our use of garlic in the Cosmetic Warrior face mask gives you the wrong impression. We use garlic for its deep cleansing nature to help break down dirt and oil on the skin, leaving you feeling fresh. I completely understand it's not the ingredient most vampires should be reaching for We've always been an inclusive company and believe we should celebrate our differences! Even though vampires are by nature, dead, that doesn't mean their skin needs to reflect that! Perhaps they'd love our Scared Truth face mask which is made with fresh papaya to help get r skin glowing and looking well, alive!We even add in honey, and soya yogurt to soften and hydrate the skin. Just because you are immortal, doesn't mean you should have skin that reflects your actual age! While we may not see eye to eye with your diet, we can definitely help keep your skin from sucking (get it?). We know that vampires can sometimes get a bad reputation and that's stressful. Why not relax with one of our Twilight bath bombs? It is made with vampire friendly lavender essential oil and filled with sparkles! Vampires like sparkles, right? Kind regards, Your friends at Lush another-walter: okay so, me and a friend were talking about lush and they saw that one of their facemasks contained garlic as the main ingredient and we started to wonder if lush had like, something against vampires or something so i sent an email to lush askin if they r pro-vampire and they actually replied back lmao

another-walter: okay so, me and a friend were talking about lush and they saw that one of their facemasks contained garlic as the main ing...

Clothes, Creepy, and Dad: DEMOCRATS Published 7 hours ago Last Update 6 hours ago Ocasio-Cortez claims she can't afford DC apartment, but records show she has at least $15,000 in savings Dental Insurance Plan By Lukas Mikelionis | Fox News A DELTA DENTAL HEy, LOOK HOW MUCH SKINNERMAKES $25,000 A YEAR HE'S 40 YEARS OLD TIMES 25 GRAND. WHOA! HE'S AMILLIONAIRE! PLUS IN THE SUMMER HE PAINTS HOUSES HE'S A BILLIONAIRE A BLWIONATRE callmegoddess618: prochoice-or-gtfo: tempest-caller: myfatfuckingface: vice-s-assistant: reverseracism: mysharona1987: Reminds me of the time they tried to claim she grow up in *this* house and was therefore a pampered limousine liberal.  The gas-lighting here is off the charts.  And now So..uh funny story about that last part to this: Dude bro who post this on Twitter…is kind of a real fucking creep. Posts a lot of female DC staffers/government employees body parts and makes creepy comments about them. Also writes for the Washington Examiner (and still is as of writing this).  Go fucking figure.  People who have never struggled financially have no idea what it looks like. They think everyone who lives in poverty should be constantly covered in dirt and tattered rags. 🙄🙄🙄 I can’t tell you how many times people told me I wasn’t poor because “If you were, you couldn’t afford x thing,” where “x thing” was usually something I absolutely could not afford normally but either got as a gift, got at a massively reduced price in a garage sale or thrift store, or found somewhere for free. Some of my furniture for example is stuff people were throwing away despite being in perfectly good condition, like my TV. It’s one of those older box TVs that are absurdly big. Owning stuff isn’t a sign of anything half the time. And uh, it’s not like she could go to work in rags! Lots of poor people have to buy or rent dress clothes for work. That doesn’t mean shit. It’s just how the world works. Also that house they’re showing is so small and looks old? It probably isn’t worth much. But it’s also rural, so she’d HAVE to go to whatever city was closest for things like groceries or school, probably. How does that prove anything about her upbringing? People really don’t know what poor is. Wow. ❄💙 Bella 💙❄ I own quite a few nice looking items of clothes. Some of them were gifts, others were thrifted, some are quality replicas of unaffordable items. I still struggle to make my rent every month and I have zero savings, but most people would not know that by looking at me.Poverty doesn’t have to be rags and begging outside the subway station. It can be the grad student eating nothing but mashed potatoes for a week. Ocasio-Cortez’s opponents are just looking for whatever they can to criticize her.-V Seriously. All of my leggings and half of my dresses are Lularoe. They are all gifts from my mom, my step mom, my sister, and my dad.