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Animals, Ass, and Bad: Hey since I haven't been active in forever, who wants to hear a story about how 1 became a local cryptid in my town? Heck yeah! Yes Reply Alright lets do this So l live in a small neighborhood kinda thing, Its honestly shaped like someone connected two bongs with a straw that leads out to the street, so very tiny and not a lot of people drive through cause its a dead end and surrounded by woods Anyways, so it's Saturday morning, like 3 am and my sister has taken her behemoth of a dog outside Little background, this dog is a saint bermard, lab mix, so he big. Hes also amazingly stupid. He's only three and we got him a year ago so he still does stupid shit all the time. Anyways hes got a long lead line on him, probably 30 ft, so hes off doing whatever and ny sister is kinda dazed, still sleepy. Homeboy fucking TAKES OFF and runs into the woods behind y house, taking that lead with him and a good chunk of my sisters pal skin. Whatever he's chasing has speed, and hes keeping up with it. So l run outside cause shes screaming his name and start to take off after him. 1 thought that mother fucker would get caught on a tree due to the lead but nope was I wrong. Now the woods probably go a mile back before they hit road, and then stretch around s miles hotizontally I'm worried this dumb dog is gonna run into the street and get hit, so l run the mile to the street (with my very out of shape body. 1 honestly thought I was going to die). After like r5 minutes of tripping and trying to make my way through this damn jungle, I get to the street. At this point 1 still look a human so nothing happens, 1 dont see him anywhere, and 1 run back to the house cause I've realized I'm in a tank top and boxer shorts with no shoes and its tick season. So I change into a big ass sweatshirt and sweat pants and boots even though its almost oo degrees out because I do not want to have to deal with ticks After chugging some water 1 take back off, this time going horizontally 1 caught sight of something running so l took off, yelling ny brains out managing to sprain my ankle and rip half my hair outta my ponytail in the process Around a mile downl lose sight of it so l turn and hike the mile back to the street just to make sure it didn't go that way After that I go back to my house, and then return to the spot where i last saw him and continue walking till Imlike 2 miles away So my trip so far has been mile to street> mile home > i mile hotizontally>t mile to street >2 miles home> 2 ½ miles horizontally So I'm about ready to die. I'm covering in blood from smashing y arm one of my eyes has turned red cause a stick poked it, I've got a limp, I'm breathing like a dragon with asthma, and I'm covering in leaves and sticks I start yelling his name again and hear a bark in the distance so 1 take off and after like 5 minutes I spot him He is now howling like a banshee in distress I book it towards his dumb ass and practically tackle him, which ended up with me covered in a random assortment of shit. Cool, whatever. His leash is tied atound two trees so I unravel it and he pounces on me in relief. He's salivating like crazy so I take him to a stream near by to let him drink Mother fucker pulls me in. I'm too tired to be pissed. At this point now that I'm calming down I realize my boots are now soaking wet with both blood and water. I've got several scars on my thigh and they all got ripped open So Im gushing blood like no tomorrow.I soak my jacket in water and put it on this stupid dog so he wont get burnt on the way back and itll be a bit cooler. So now he looks even bigger then usual 1 take my shoes off and toss then over my neck and we're about to start the trek back when he takes off AGAIN. This time I'm holding the leash and 1 do not let go. He ends up slipping on a mud bank and taking me with him With are now covered head to toe in nad, shit, dirt, blood and whatever the hell else is in those woods. Some how he has ended up with no major wounds, but now I have a rock lodged in my forehead and blood in my eyes. And my shoes are gone. Whatever, 1 just want to get home. 1 pick a direction and walk until 1 end up in the back yard of someone who lives down the street. Lucky for me, this person has barbed wire in their back yard on the ground for some reason, which I trip on Now I have barbed wire practically wrapped around me like some crazy fashion statement. I wanted to get home so bad 1 didn't even bother to rip it off. I'd do that So now its like 6am, so its dark, but you can still see, and its dead quiet. I pull my sisters dog along with me, holding his collar so he cant take off again. So heres me, covered in blood, mud, and barbed wire, limping down the street, no shoes on, with a large dog wearing a jacket, which, from a distance, you cant tell. Now I smell like whatever was in those woods, and it is a strong smell, so as I walk by any house with a dog outside, that dog starts barking. Eventually the quiet is replaced with dogs howling, barking, snarling at me. 1 eventually make it back to my house, but not before passing a dude getting his newspaper or whatever He's a good distance away from me and he hesitantly calls out asking if Im okay. I respond with "yeah but I've been yelling for like 3 hours t as ungodly rasp. He goes right the fuck back in l get home, get cleaned up, get the dog cleaned up, and everythings fine UNTIL a couple nights later my mom goes to a neighborhood meeting story Turns out, there had been a black bear in the woods near my house, which people had been keeping an eye out for, but instead they saw (what they thought) was a "humanoid figure covered in spikes dragging a bear covered in blood around by its neck For the next few weeks people were talking about how they heard the "hortiie screeching" and how there was blood all down the streets and on the trees. The dude who asked if I was okay was telling everybody that the "thing growled at him and he could see it had blood red eyes So now theres a rumor about a demon with razor sharp tendrils who feeds on wild animals by slashing them open and drinking their blood Rumor states that you'll hear it before you see it, and the sound it makes sounds like a howl and a scream People later found my boots covered in blood and said it was a "victim of the demon. A week later a house that was being built caught fire and that was blamed on me, as well as an accident where someone swerved to avoid something and crashed through a house. The stream turned blood red after some heavy rainfall. which was due to the mud, but also blamed on me and some mote for a couple nights (coyotes most people "spotting" the demon (which was either their imagination or the actual bear) the rumot grew and grew so now its famous in my neighborhood So yeah thats how 1 became a bear killing demon in my neighborhood. I was too embarrassed. How to become a cryptid
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Ass, Bad, and Children: now you kno! In the original Peter Pan book, he killed the Lost Boys when they got too old nowyoukno.com maybe-this-time: supernaturalshadowhunter: adventuretimetimeline: fuckier0: tempestuous-sovereignity: alittleworldofimagination: forgetpolitics: mariavontraphouse: philliciaglee: nowyoukno: See More Daily Facts Here! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH Sorry….kind of isn’t captain hook and his crew suppose to be a lost boys who escaped and that’s why he’s trying to kill peter pan …what the actual fuck I NEVER TRUSTED PETER PAN nah everything in Peter Pan was fucked up.  Tinkerbell and her fairy buddies were having an orgy when they found baby Peter. Tinks also extremely jealous, tricking one of the Lost Boys into shooting Wendy in the fucking chest. Peter’s also crazy omnipotent. Like, he “make believes” he’s a doctor, and heals Wendy. When he’s hungry, he pretends to eat imaginary food and his stomach actually gets fuller. He’s also a dick. He would teach children how to fly but never how to stop, so they’d fly for months on straight without rest or break, and they couldn’t sleep either or they’d stop flying. And when one of Wendy’s brothers actually fell asleep and plummeted into the ocean, Peter laughed his ass off. He only saved him when Wendy begged him too. okay but that’s the point of Peter Pan. It’s not supposed to glorify never growing up, it’s supposed to show kids why growing up is not only good, but necessary otherwise they’d end up as fucked up as Peter. He never matured, never learned right from wrong, he never listened to his parents because - according to Peter - he ran away as an infant.It’s a tale to teach children that listening to their parents and growing up is good. As far as Tinker Bell goes, if you actually read Peter Pan you would know that fairies only feel one emotion at a time and they feel that emotion very strongly so the orgy? lust. Trying to kill Wendy? Jealousy. She embodies the seven deadly sins and what happens if you let your emotions get the best of you. (And as far as the new fairies series of films making her nicer it’s because you only see the jealous side of her in Peter Pan and you see other sides of her in the series because those movies are about her).Rant over, you can go back to your regularly scheduled blogging now. So if Peter Pan shows up in your window. Stab him in the fucking chest kids. You have school tomorrow Reblogging because I believe this will be important to the Once Upon a Time fandom tomorrow. It’s more complicated than that. Peter is kind of a tragic hero. He chooses not to grow up, he knows he is incomplete. I mean, he cut off Hook's hand because he thought it was a game. He clearly doesn’t know right from wrong. He also only knows the unconditional love of a mother to a child, which is why he thinks everyone wants to be his mother. He also switches sides in a fight just for fun, kill pirates for fun, and “thins” out the Lost Boys when they can’t fit in the tree anymore. But, like, it wasn’t a cautionary tale to tell you to listen to your parents, it’s a story about death and youth. Why can’t Peter grow up? One of the popular theories is that it’s because he’s dead. J.M. Barrie’s older brother died when Barrie was little and he dressed up in his brother’s clothes to please his mom. His mom - who was always distant, whose love Barrie craved like Peter craves a mom - started crying and said something like “At least my baby will never grow up” and that idea stuck with Barrie forever. Then, as an adult, it’s believed he never slept with his wife because Barrie was just a kid. He was Peter Pan. He was too innocent for that. He befriended the Llewelyn-Davies boys and based Peter Pan off of them and their games. (Fun fact: The boy Peter Pan was named after, Peter Llewelyn-Davies, threw himself under a train). There was also a bunch of stuff about Barrie being in love with The Llewlyn-Davies boys’ mother, but that’s not important here. People think Peter’s dead because he literally cannot return home. He tried and the window was barred and his parents had replaced him with another baby. Why? Probably because they had lost Peter to the flu. Why does Peter come in through the window? Because of the joke “I once had a bird names Enza. I opened up the window and ‘influenza’.” Because lots of babies died back then form the flu. The Lost Boys are children who fell out of their prams. Odds are babies could not survive falling out of their prams. Peter is liked the pied piper ferrying the souls of young children to the neverland/afterlife. Barrie believed that all children were “gay and heartless” but he didn’t think that was a bad thing. Also, Hook and his crew are not old lost boys trying to kill Peter. Hook was once a British gentlemen (hinted at to be associated with Charles II and attended Elton) and he is afraid of growing old. His biggest fear is growing old and dying - that is why his nemesis is the embodiment of eternal youth. That is why the crocodile that chases him swallowed a clock and ticks. That is why when Peter finally decided “It’s Hook of me this time” the crocodile has stopped ticking and Peter started (he’s trying to trick them into thinking he’s the croc). At that moment - Peter is time and time has ran out for Hook. Also, it’s not so much that Peter is omnipotent. All kids basically are in the Neverland. Like, it states that the island looks different to every kid because it’s the land of their dreams and stuff. Also, the island legit freezes when Peter leaves and thaws when he comes back. He’s been there so long he’s not human anymore - but fey. (keep in mind being fey isn’t good, just chaotic neutral). Peter even secretes pixie dust now. The island is so fine tuned with him because he’s one of the only people that stay, that it caters to him. Most likely any child that stayed as long as he did would become omnipotent to an extent. As for Tinker Bell, the above stated is true. Fairies are so tiny they can only have one emotion at a time - “Tink wasn’t all bad” - and they also have really short lifespans so, like, Tinker Bell isn’t even that important to Peter Pan. He forgets all about her and Hook by the time Wendy is grown up.And the orgies thing is because in the legends fey are known for their revelries.  And it wasn’t so much that Peter was a dick, he just doesn’t know when to stop. He’s a child. He doesn’t know right from wrong. He doesn’t know when to stop playing -cutting Hooks hand off was a game to him. He also has the memory of a child, so odds are he just forgot to teach kids how to stop flying or how to imagine food, etc. He is just carefree, like all children. Everything is a game to him, because he never learned anything else. But like, no, Peter Pan is not a cautionary tale. Barrie loved his character and the story and brought up a lot of good things in it. He wrote Peter as an exaggeration of a cocky overconfident boy, but, like, Peter wasn’t afraid of death. It says “he felt scared, yet he felt only one shudder run through him when any other person would have felt scared up until death. With his blithe attitude towards death, he says, “To die will be an awfully big adventure”.“ and with that Barrie is showing us both a naivety and bravery we possess as children but lose as adults and is basically telling us that we shouldn’t let that go. Like, the point is growing up is inevitable but you don’t have to lose everything. And so yeah….I’m really passionate about Peter Pan.
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Beef, Deer, and Definitely: sad boi @faguettte The vegans have launched their first attack on mankind Ken Rutkowski @kenradio A tick that makes you allergic to meat is spreading. A single bite can reprogram your immune system. goo.gl/e16gxX astrakiseki: itsdetachable: queen-of-hearts92: princess-of-positivity: justabitnotgood: bruddabois: ayajalil: weavemama: holy damn oh fuck no If I die, I die with a mouthful of fried chicken and no regrets Because the post doesn’t really explain, as a heads up the tick in question is the lone star tick. It’s a brown red tick with an iconic white dot on its back. Much bigger than a deer tick, it’s easier to spot but the above is true! A bite from a contaminated lone star tick can make you allergic to RED MEAT, so poultry and fish you’d still be good on. Have fun this tick season folks and remember to always always wear tick repellent if you’re going off the sidewalk into leaf litter or tall grass. Lyme disease isn’t any better at all and is more prevalent. Ticks are not fun! I have this and it’s definitely not fun. I miss pork and beef so much. This is a real thing, unfortunately. I can’t stress this enough; PLEASE be cautious and definitely wear tick repellent. Heres the area where it lives y’all! From wikipedia. stay safe! hats and bug spray are your friends. And an article explaining about it: https://www.forbes.com/sites/carmendrahl/2017/06/22/this-is-what-we-know-about-how-the-lone-star-tick-causes-meat-allergies/ So in other words.It’s not reprogramming your immune system. It’s just introducing data that sets your immune system on things you eat.
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