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So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_): Three weeks ago she was at the pound - now she's transformed to Action Pup.! So u know how u get in the car and Apple Music just wil out and play whatever well on the way to the gym this mernin I hop in the whip on this cold a$$ 12 degree day and my speakers start blasting Miguel, Banana Clip. FAM! I don’t even remember downloading this album! But this joint HARD! 😂 I felt like Miguel lil 5 foot a$$ was next to me serenading me, singing in the passenger seat egging me on go hard at the gym! I was Iike wow this adorable lil munchkin go hard! And then it dawned on me 🤔...5 footers really be going the hardest! 🐛 Kevin Hart - 5 foot. Tom cruise - 5 foot. Shiggy the comedian who invented the drake Kiki dance (DRAaAaAaAake! 😂) - 5 foot. They out there ... ENTERTAINING. Ladies don’t shleep. I know most of u pretty tings got a 6-4 cutoff and I don’t blame y’all! But maybe what u need is a 5 footer who really gon do the most! Serenade u in the shower! Make u laugh! “Smash I’m not tryina hear that, my son in fifth grade already taller than that I can’t bring a man into my house who reach to my son’s chest” BB 👏 GIRL 👏 DO 👏 WHAT 👏 U 👏 FEEL 👏. And by the way, for all you men who only swipe right on short women may I ask you to consider finding yourself a tall drink of water in 2019. I used to talk to a volleyball player who was 6-1 and let me tell you fam she was a sight to behold. Legs so long you could slide down them h0es like a fire pole. Cheeks like beach balls. She was a whole lotta woman! A foot long sub for the price of a six inch famalam! I am telling you, you might not think it’s your thing but u might hecc around and fall in love. “But smash, I’m 5-11 which is really a lie I’m actually 5-7 and three quarter but I say I’m 5-11 - if she 6-1 then in heels she finna be 6-4 fam I’m gon look like her handsome middle school son.” Well bish embrace that! Find you a Mama! Maybe your mama was wiling out when you were growing up and u need a woman to HECC around and spank u. Maybe eem spike you! 🏐 Maybe that’s what you been missing all your life. “smash you really Wilding today.” INDEEDY! Smash simply raising this hypothesis for ya consideration lmao BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 2: @tatertot_thecorgi_)
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Beloveds! As you enjoy an extra day off tomorrow (for some of y’all...I know some of y’all bosses FRONTIN - send them my way if need be and let smash knock some sense into them 😬), please take a moment to remember the sacrifice of Martin Luther King, Jr., who paid the ultimate cost for the advancement of civil liberties in this country. The fight he fought wasn’t just for people of color - the unfair treatment of ANY portion of our society weighs ALL of us down - morally, economically, and spiritually. We owe a debt of gratitude to him! May God bless him 🤲. Bless up, lovers ❤️ 1. (Sleepy puppo) @dundermifflinpuppercompany 2. 14 year old doggo) @oldmantbone (And please check out @susiesseniordogs) 3. Perrywinkle) reddit u-43v3rthepizza 4. Cat and dog) @z.pets 5. (Who’s hungry) @mississippi_golden_gurls 6. (Puppy hiding bone) @arielfriedphotography: My girlfriend's pup falling asleep on this road trip Beloveds! As you enjoy an extra day off tomorrow (for some of y’all...I know some of y’all bosses FRONTIN - send them my way if need be and let smash knock some sense into them 😬), please take a moment to remember the sacrifice of Martin Luther King, Jr., who paid the ultimate cost for the advancement of civil liberties in this country. The fight he fought wasn’t just for people of color - the unfair treatment of ANY portion of our society weighs ALL of us down - morally, economically, and spiritually. We owe a debt of gratitude to him! May God bless him 🤲. Bless up, lovers ❤️ 1. (Sleepy puppo) @dundermifflinpuppercompany 2. 14 year old doggo) @oldmantbone (And please check out @susiesseniordogs) 3. Perrywinkle) reddit u-43v3rthepizza 4. Cat and dog) @z.pets 5. (Who’s hungry) @mississippi_golden_gurls 6. (Puppy hiding bone) @arielfriedphotography

Beloveds! As you enjoy an extra day off tomorrow (for some of y’all...I know some of y’all bosses FRONTIN - send them my way if need be a...

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Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me? They gon push u along. They gon support u. They gon look out for u. But as a dear friend once told me...there’s one thing they NOT gon do. Y’all ready? Y’all ready for this A1 Sauce? Y’all receptive? Nah. U know what I think y’all distracted on this Friday imma address this another time LMAO JK HERE IT GOES: one thing that mentor is NOT gon do is take money out of HIS paycheck, and put it in yours. READ THAT CAREFULLY. If it’s between your paycheck and his paycheck, he gon choose his paycheck 10 times out of 10. Not nine! see y’all not listening! 😂 Y’all sitting back like “nah some bosses are cool, my boss Phil is amazing, Phil will gladly go to HR and say ‘please bump Sally’s salary by $30,000 and decrease mine by a commensurate amount - I insist 😌’” <— men don’t make this emoji face because Phil don’t exist HE 👏 DONT 👏 EXIST 👏 BELOVED 👏 HE 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 WAITING 👏 LIST 👏 FOR 👏 THAT 👏 NEW 👏 TESLA 👏 THAT 👏 30 👏 THOU 👏 BEEN 👏 SPUNT 👏 ARREDDY 👏- aight? He is not - I repeat not - gon prefer ya paycheck to his. Not gon happen! Not now not never! U feel me? So what that mean. IT MEAN U GOTTA ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. “But smash imma be ‘the b!tch’ at work if I complain” GOOD. BE THE B!TCH LMAO. U KNOW WHAT B!TCHES DO? THEY GET PAID WHAT’S OWED TO THEM. THEN MEN GET MAD AND CALL THEM A B!TCH. IF THEY CALL U A B!TCH, 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 U DID SOMETHING RIGHT, AND THEY SALTY. BIG SALT. MORTONS. HIMALAYA ROCK SALT U FEEL ME? THE PINK JOINT. DONT LET A LABEL DISCOURAGE U. LET IT *EN* COURAGE U - TO GET WHAT U DESERVE. AIGHT? LOVE YALL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @dunkinandkirby. Slide 2: @cantuonwheels): Dunkin doesn't eat unless I microwave his food bc he thinks once it goes in the microwave it magically becomes human food 0:32 Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel me? They gon push u along. They gon support u. They gon look out for u. But as a dear friend once told me...there’s one thing they NOT gon do. Y’all ready? Y’all ready for this A1 Sauce? Y’all receptive? Nah. U know what I think y’all distracted on this Friday imma address this another time LMAO JK HERE IT GOES: one thing that mentor is NOT gon do is take money out of HIS paycheck, and put it in yours. READ THAT CAREFULLY. If it’s between your paycheck and his paycheck, he gon choose his paycheck 10 times out of 10. Not nine! see y’all not listening! 😂 Y’all sitting back like “nah some bosses are cool, my boss Phil is amazing, Phil will gladly go to HR and say ‘please bump Sally’s salary by $30,000 and decrease mine by a commensurate amount - I insist 😌’” <— men don’t make this emoji face because Phil don’t exist HE 👏 DONT 👏 EXIST 👏 BELOVED 👏 HE 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 WAITING 👏 LIST 👏 FOR 👏 THAT 👏 NEW 👏 TESLA 👏 THAT 👏 30 👏 THOU 👏 BEEN 👏 SPUNT 👏 ARREDDY 👏- aight? He is not - I repeat not - gon prefer ya paycheck to his. Not gon happen! Not now not never! U feel me? So what that mean. IT MEAN U GOTTA ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF. “But smash imma be ‘the b!tch’ at work if I complain” GOOD. BE THE B!TCH LMAO. U KNOW WHAT B!TCHES DO? THEY GET PAID WHAT’S OWED TO THEM. THEN MEN GET MAD AND CALL THEM A B!TCH. IF THEY CALL U A B!TCH, 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 U DID SOMETHING RIGHT, AND THEY SALTY. BIG SALT. MORTONS. HIMALAYA ROCK SALT U FEEL ME? THE PINK JOINT. DONT LET A LABEL DISCOURAGE U. LET IT *EN* COURAGE U - TO GET WHAT U DESERVE. AIGHT? LOVE YALL. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @dunkinandkirby. Slide 2: @cantuonwheels)

Beloveds! Very, very important! I gotta share something with y’all. At work, u gon have mentors. Bosses that take a interest in u. U feel...

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ALRIGHT SO I AM CONSIDERING WILDING ALLLLLLLLLLLLL THE WAY OUT AND DOING A VOCAL RECORDING OF THE ‘New York accent’ CAPTION I PENNED YESTERDAY YALL WANT ME TO DO THAT BRUV(?) COMMENT BELOW AND LET A BROTHER KNOW, IF THERE IS AN APPETITE FOR IT I MIGHT JUST *h e c c* AROUND AND DO IT LMAO LEH GO - BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: (woman and pup) @RunForItMarty. Slide 2: (grey pup with puppy ears) @TeoDoroTheCaneCorso. Slide 3: (puppo with grandma) @gus_the_rottie. Slide 4: (golden bamboozle) @goldenleia. Slide 5: (puppy in harness) @tuckerbudzyn. Slide 6: (corgi looking up) @drewbertcorgi. Slide 7: (puppo with grandma) @gus_the_rottie.: My wife and our dog Marty as I was leaving for work this morning ALRIGHT SO I AM CONSIDERING WILDING ALLLLLLLLLLLLL THE WAY OUT AND DOING A VOCAL RECORDING OF THE ‘New York accent’ CAPTION I PENNED YESTERDAY YALL WANT ME TO DO THAT BRUV(?) COMMENT BELOW AND LET A BROTHER KNOW, IF THERE IS AN APPETITE FOR IT I MIGHT JUST *h e c c* AROUND AND DO IT LMAO LEH GO - BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: (woman and pup) @RunForItMarty. Slide 2: (grey pup with puppy ears) @TeoDoroTheCaneCorso. Slide 3: (puppo with grandma) @gus_the_rottie. Slide 4: (golden bamboozle) @goldenleia. Slide 5: (puppy in harness) @tuckerbudzyn. Slide 6: (corgi looking up) @drewbertcorgi. Slide 7: (puppo with grandma) @gus_the_rottie.

ALRIGHT SO I AM CONSIDERING WILDING ALLLLLLLLLLLLL THE WAY OUT AND DOING A VOCAL RECORDING OF THE ‘New York accent’ CAPTION I PENNED YEST...

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NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories by wearing a Fitbit and measuring steps. Nah. New Yorkers will just argue with u until they thin 😂. I love it. I’m not saying they ain’t wonderful people! To the contrary! They be nice as HELL to me! They just love to argue. FOR EXAMPLE. Me: “fam I love getting food off the Halal carts.” NY person: “oh word, son? Oh it’s like THAT my dude? Ayo...Could I ax u a question, son?” *ominous music plays (90s era Mobb Deep)* Me: “sure...(?)” NY person: “ayo son...could I ax u what halal cart u go to my dude?” Me: “ummm like around Greenwich and Murray...(?)” NY person: “son [pregnant pause] SON 😂. U can’t be serriyiss right now son. Is u wildin my dude? *whispering to friend in NY Yankees cap* son...is this dude wildin?” Friend (quietly): “I mean ... he wildin son.” (Everyone in NY got a yes-man with him who wear a yankee fitted real low and who don’t really argue, he just agree with what his friend say lol.) New York person: “ayo u mean...Like up by World Trade?” And I’m like: “I guess...(?)” NY person: “SON! HOW U AINT KNOW THESE THINGS SON? 😂 U gotta know which halal cart got that GOOD good and which one got that mid grade son! Ayo do me a favor son walk a extra couple blocks to Broadway u see a cart that say “HALAL CHICKEN GYROS” with “ONE DOLLAR SAMOSA”...UNDA DAT. U ask for Hakeem. Tell him Donnell sent u. Yeah. Donnell from one two fif. U gotta tell him the street because it’s two Donnells. Son he gon hook u up with the FIRE CHICKEN my dude. Quiet as it’s kept? Prime Minister of Pakistan eat at that cart my dude word is bond I seent him. He had mad security around him and I’m like oh he gotta be a digni-TERRY he ordered chicken biryani with salad son I said ayo get that red sauce too my son and he did my dude it was wild we ate togevva but I don’t tell that story often anyway I’m not sayin don’t eat at them carts u eat at son! I’m just sayin...I WOUL-INNT EAT THERE IF I WAS U. BUT U COULD DO WHAT U FEEL. BLESS UP.” 😂😂😍 [ALL CREDITS IN COMMENT BELOW.]: My daughter was nervous around dogs, and then she met this guy. He let her love all over him for 20 minutes and then afterwards, her fear was gone. Thank you, sweet boy, for making her into the dog lover that she is! GIBBS NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calories by wearing a Fitbit and measuring steps. Nah. New Yorkers will just argue with u until they thin 😂. I love it. I’m not saying they ain’t wonderful people! To the contrary! They be nice as HELL to me! They just love to argue. FOR EXAMPLE. Me: “fam I love getting food off the Halal carts.” NY person: “oh word, son? Oh it’s like THAT my dude? Ayo...Could I ax u a question, son?” *ominous music plays (90s era Mobb Deep)* Me: “sure...(?)” NY person: “ayo son...could I ax u what halal cart u go to my dude?” Me: “ummm like around Greenwich and Murray...(?)” NY person: “son [pregnant pause] SON 😂. U can’t be serriyiss right now son. Is u wildin my dude? *whispering to friend in NY Yankees cap* son...is this dude wildin?” Friend (quietly): “I mean ... he wildin son.” (Everyone in NY got a yes-man with him who wear a yankee fitted real low and who don’t really argue, he just agree with what his friend say lol.) New York person: “ayo u mean...Like up by World Trade?” And I’m like: “I guess...(?)” NY person: “SON! HOW U AINT KNOW THESE THINGS SON? 😂 U gotta know which halal cart got that GOOD good and which one got that mid grade son! Ayo do me a favor son walk a extra couple blocks to Broadway u see a cart that say “HALAL CHICKEN GYROS” with “ONE DOLLAR SAMOSA”...UNDA DAT. U ask for Hakeem. Tell him Donnell sent u. Yeah. Donnell from one two fif. U gotta tell him the street because it’s two Donnells. Son he gon hook u up with the FIRE CHICKEN my dude. Quiet as it’s kept? Prime Minister of Pakistan eat at that cart my dude word is bond I seent him. He had mad security around him and I’m like oh he gotta be a digni-TERRY he ordered chicken biryani with salad son I said ayo get that red sauce too my son and he did my dude it was wild we ate togevva but I don’t tell that story often anyway I’m not sayin don’t eat at them carts u eat at son! I’m just sayin...I WOUL-INNT EAT THERE IF I WAS U. BUT U COULD DO WHAT U FEEL. BLESS UP.” 😂😂😍 [ALL CREDITS IN COMMENT BELOW.]

NEW YORKERS ARE WILD FAM 😂. They will argue about anything. It’s both a sport and a hobby. In the rest of the country people burn calorie...

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So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.): This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
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A LIL SOMETHING TO WARM YOUR HEART ON THIS CHILLY SUNDAY MORNING 😊 “Smash I live in Jamaica - Puerto Rico - Miami - Congo it’s sunny and beautiful and the birbs are chirping and sitting on my forearm as I sip my morning coffee come thru I am on my balcony in a bathing suit sun tanning 🐦☺️” I 👏 DIDNT 👏 ASK 👏 YOU 👏 GOSH FLIPPING HECC IT I AM IN CHICAGO AND ISS FREEZIN 🥶 I SHOULD GO WORK IN A COFFEE SHOP AND THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME IS I DONT WANNA SCRAPE ICE OFF MY WINDSHIELD 🤦‍♂️ BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @jordanfalk14. Slide 2: reddit u-VermillionStardust.): Waited so long to get a puppy, finally got to adopt my little boy Chief yesterday from the Humane Society. I think he loves me as much as I love him. A LIL SOMETHING TO WARM YOUR HEART ON THIS CHILLY SUNDAY MORNING 😊 “Smash I live in Jamaica - Puerto Rico - Miami - Congo it’s sunny and beautiful and the birbs are chirping and sitting on my forearm as I sip my morning coffee come thru I am on my balcony in a bathing suit sun tanning 🐦☺️” I 👏 DIDNT 👏 ASK 👏 YOU 👏 GOSH FLIPPING HECC IT I AM IN CHICAGO AND ISS FREEZIN 🥶 I SHOULD GO WORK IN A COFFEE SHOP AND THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME IS I DONT WANNA SCRAPE ICE OFF MY WINDSHIELD 🤦‍♂️ BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @jordanfalk14. Slide 2: reddit u-VermillionStardust.)

A LIL SOMETHING TO WARM YOUR HEART ON THIS CHILLY SUNDAY MORNING 😊 “Smash I live in Jamaica - Puerto Rico - Miami - Congo it’s sunny and...

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Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lions and hyenas hugging and taking a nap together. On some “we all have plenty of vegetables to eat let’s chill for a hot sec and be loving.” This is the Israelis and Palestinians hugging it out and living peacefully with one another on some “u know what we eat the same falafel and hummus anyway and our ladies basically look the same Jewish girls may have slightly larger Tetas and Arabians might be a lil larger in the trunka dunk but basically the same lol let’s intermarry and end this intermillennial beef that made no logical sense ☺️.” This is the Bears and the Green Bay Packers joining up to form one super team and they only have one kicker and he doesn’t end the season by missing an easy field goal 😕. Fam. This is Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi waking up in bed together talmbout “there are no longer two political parties. We only have one party now and it’s the Party of Love and everybody gets free medical care and goes to school for free and there are no taxes you just pay what you can like the tip jar at Starbucks.” And then all the trump supporters like “WE WANTED A WALL” and trump like “effective immediately Mexico is the 51st state. Canada is the 52nd. France is the 53rd because I like French fries.” And then Melania pop up like “wow doneld Nancy eez so old I deed not expect thees also why Croatia eez not 54th state” and then Donald all like “effectively immediately I am declaring an emergency and building a wall between the US and Croatia” and then Nancy pop up like “hehe what my love meant to say was, no problem melania, Croatia is the 54th state also don’t ever play me again you wish you had this sauce 🍝“ I HAVE LOST MY MIND FROM THESE VIDEOS I AM SORRY YALL LMAO BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: reddit u-TigreDemon. Slide 2: @carolinehdupont. Videos used with express permission of the respective creators. All rights are reserved to them.): I am definitely going to steal my Neighbor's pomsky Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lions and hyenas hugging and taking a nap together. On some “we all have plenty of vegetables to eat let’s chill for a hot sec and be loving.” This is the Israelis and Palestinians hugging it out and living peacefully with one another on some “u know what we eat the same falafel and hummus anyway and our ladies basically look the same Jewish girls may have slightly larger Tetas and Arabians might be a lil larger in the trunka dunk but basically the same lol let’s intermarry and end this intermillennial beef that made no logical sense ☺️.” This is the Bears and the Green Bay Packers joining up to form one super team and they only have one kicker and he doesn’t end the season by missing an easy field goal 😕. Fam. This is Donald Trump and Nancy Pelosi waking up in bed together talmbout “there are no longer two political parties. We only have one party now and it’s the Party of Love and everybody gets free medical care and goes to school for free and there are no taxes you just pay what you can like the tip jar at Starbucks.” And then all the trump supporters like “WE WANTED A WALL” and trump like “effective immediately Mexico is the 51st state. Canada is the 52nd. France is the 53rd because I like French fries.” And then Melania pop up like “wow doneld Nancy eez so old I deed not expect thees also why Croatia eez not 54th state” and then Donald all like “effectively immediately I am declaring an emergency and building a wall between the US and Croatia” and then Nancy pop up like “hehe what my love meant to say was, no problem melania, Croatia is the 54th state also don’t ever play me again you wish you had this sauce 🍝“ I HAVE LOST MY MIND FROM THESE VIDEOS I AM SORRY YALL LMAO BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: reddit u-TigreDemon. Slide 2: @carolinehdupont. Videos used with express permission of the respective creators. All rights are reserved to them.)

Fam! I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. This is Lion King level love. Circle of Life level love. This right HERE Bruv?! This is lio...

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Beloveds! These videos go viral without context sometimes - I used to be the biggest culprit because I would grab videos from anywhere on the Internet and post them without explaining the background 😕. In this case, this video of this beautiful little golden received a lot of attention and a lot of negative comments toward his mama. His mama is doing a great job with him! She’s a sweet woman. And he’s a very happy boy. We need to make sure to celebrate and not tear down humans who are being so kind to dogs that have imperfections or as I call them, perfections. (Good boys and girls like this simply used to be put down 😥 so it’s pretty awesome that humans take them in now and love them and afford them care and dignity!) Like the Mama of the pup I posted last night ❤️. Go ahead and swipe through and see some neat videos, pics and information on this good boy. And if u see a good boy or girl at the shelter with some perfections, sign them papers! Bring em home! (If you have time and resources ❤️). Your reward is with God 😍 and I ask God fo make us all more compassionate and loving! Bless up! 😍❤️❤️ (@tucker_me_out): Meet Tucker! You might think he's having a seizure, but he's actually a perfectly happy and healthy boy, he just struggles with a REM sleep disorder. He's runnin to steal yo girl in his dreamse Beloveds! These videos go viral without context sometimes - I used to be the biggest culprit because I would grab videos from anywhere on the Internet and post them without explaining the background 😕. In this case, this video of this beautiful little golden received a lot of attention and a lot of negative comments toward his mama. His mama is doing a great job with him! She’s a sweet woman. And he’s a very happy boy. We need to make sure to celebrate and not tear down humans who are being so kind to dogs that have imperfections or as I call them, perfections. (Good boys and girls like this simply used to be put down 😥 so it’s pretty awesome that humans take them in now and love them and afford them care and dignity!) Like the Mama of the pup I posted last night ❤️. Go ahead and swipe through and see some neat videos, pics and information on this good boy. And if u see a good boy or girl at the shelter with some perfections, sign them papers! Bring em home! (If you have time and resources ❤️). Your reward is with God 😍 and I ask God fo make us all more compassionate and loving! Bless up! 😍❤️❤️ (@tucker_me_out)

Beloveds! These videos go viral without context sometimes - I used to be the biggest culprit because I would grab videos from anywhere on...

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(@Jolenethedollydoodle) Fun fact about smash: “Jolene” is one of my favorite songs of all time. First because it’s catchy bruv like u listen once and you can’t forget it. Second, Dolly Parton is top five dead or alive and that’s just a fact. She up there with Halle Berry. U feel me? Sophia Loren. Riri. Pam Grier 🤤. “Pam who?” Boy shutchoe “2000s Baby” a$$ up and Google her before I smack u into the future when Birb Box is real and u wake up in a blindfold tryina canoe past the monsters. Now then. The song is about a woman named Jolene stealing Dolly Patton’s man. BISH HOW. Dolly one of the GOATs? Who was prettier than her in her time? Wayment. Maybe “Jolene” was Sophia Loren...or Pam Grier? 👀 see the I just thickened the plot on y’all a$$es lemme stop before the FBI text me bless up 😕😂😂: "I was told to sit...but I wasn't told where!" 01 (@Jolenethedollydoodle) Fun fact about smash: “Jolene” is one of my favorite songs of all time. First because it’s catchy bruv like u listen once and you can’t forget it. Second, Dolly Parton is top five dead or alive and that’s just a fact. She up there with Halle Berry. U feel me? Sophia Loren. Riri. Pam Grier 🤤. “Pam who?” Boy shutchoe “2000s Baby” a$$ up and Google her before I smack u into the future when Birb Box is real and u wake up in a blindfold tryina canoe past the monsters. Now then. The song is about a woman named Jolene stealing Dolly Patton’s man. BISH HOW. Dolly one of the GOATs? Who was prettier than her in her time? Wayment. Maybe “Jolene” was Sophia Loren...or Pam Grier? 👀 see the I just thickened the plot on y’all a$$es lemme stop before the FBI text me bless up 😕😂😂
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WAS DMing WITH A WOMAN WHO ALWAYS TAG A SPECIFIC DUDE ON MY PAGE SO I THOUGHT THAT WAS HER MAN BUT ONE DAY I CLICKED ON HIS PAGE AND HE WAS POSING WITH OTHER HANDSOME MEN AT A PARTY IN A BIKINI BOTTOM SO I THOUGHT “oh ok they FREN Frens 😬” AND I MENTIONED IT AND SHE LIKE “oh yeah we just both love dogs 😊” WITH THAT SAID SHOUT TO ALL U LOVERS WHO HAVE ONE SPECIFIC FRIEND WHO ALSO LOVES DOGS VERY MUCH AND SO U ALWAYS TAG THEM IN DOG MEMES BASED ON YA SHARED LOVE OF PUPPOS THAT’S YA PAWRTNER IN CRIME AKA PIC 🐶 NEW WORD ALERT 🚨 TAG YA PAWRTNER - PIC SHOW EM SOME HUMP DAY LOVE BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @greatdanesofcentralpark @kaptainklaus. Slide 2: @jadethesablegsd. Slide 3: @jenna__jay): We would like to thank all the first respawnders who made sure our good boy made it out of the pond ok! WAS DMing WITH A WOMAN WHO ALWAYS TAG A SPECIFIC DUDE ON MY PAGE SO I THOUGHT THAT WAS HER MAN BUT ONE DAY I CLICKED ON HIS PAGE AND HE WAS POSING WITH OTHER HANDSOME MEN AT A PARTY IN A BIKINI BOTTOM SO I THOUGHT “oh ok they FREN Frens 😬” AND I MENTIONED IT AND SHE LIKE “oh yeah we just both love dogs 😊” WITH THAT SAID SHOUT TO ALL U LOVERS WHO HAVE ONE SPECIFIC FRIEND WHO ALSO LOVES DOGS VERY MUCH AND SO U ALWAYS TAG THEM IN DOG MEMES BASED ON YA SHARED LOVE OF PUPPOS THAT’S YA PAWRTNER IN CRIME AKA PIC 🐶 NEW WORD ALERT 🚨 TAG YA PAWRTNER - PIC SHOW EM SOME HUMP DAY LOVE BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @greatdanesofcentralpark @kaptainklaus. Slide 2: @jadethesablegsd. Slide 3: @jenna__jay)

WAS DMing WITH A WOMAN WHO ALWAYS TAG A SPECIFIC DUDE ON MY PAGE SO I THOUGHT THAT WAS HER MAN BUT ONE DAY I CLICKED ON HIS PAGE AND HE W...

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See fam this is the difference between pretty ladies and doggies - pretty ladies gon dance after they first bite of food. Doggies however they gon do a “celebratory anticipatory dance” 😂. I know this dance well bc this the dance men do in they head when spicy chimken wings bout to hit the table, or when a girl leading u up the staircase of her building to her apartment past the bicycles and hipster shoe assortment (that’s how u hip cute girls be living lol - in lil three story buildings where people keep really cute Sh!t in the hallway like a skateboard or a Swedish baby stroller or some pretty pink Vans sneakers. In Miami or Cali u might hecc around and see a surf bordt 🏄‍♀️, a kayak or a canoe lmao. It’s geographical 😬.) THAT’S THE ENTIRE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PUPPOS AND MEN LMAO EVOLUTION HAS BEEN MODEST AT BEST WE FAR MORE SIMILAR THAN DIFFERENT BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @brutusthabully. Slide 2: @goof6912 - @jamsauce. Slide 3: @visidora. Slide 4: @ebirwin.): He is so grateful for getting his favorite snack 0:47 See fam this is the difference between pretty ladies and doggies - pretty ladies gon dance after they first bite of food. Doggies however they gon do a “celebratory anticipatory dance” 😂. I know this dance well bc this the dance men do in they head when spicy chimken wings bout to hit the table, or when a girl leading u up the staircase of her building to her apartment past the bicycles and hipster shoe assortment (that’s how u hip cute girls be living lol - in lil three story buildings where people keep really cute Sh!t in the hallway like a skateboard or a Swedish baby stroller or some pretty pink Vans sneakers. In Miami or Cali u might hecc around and see a surf bordt 🏄‍♀️, a kayak or a canoe lmao. It’s geographical 😬.) THAT’S THE ENTIRE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PUPPOS AND MEN LMAO EVOLUTION HAS BEEN MODEST AT BEST WE FAR MORE SIMILAR THAN DIFFERENT BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: @brutusthabully. Slide 2: @goof6912 - @jamsauce. Slide 3: @visidora. Slide 4: @ebirwin.)
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PRO TIP FOR MY JUICERS - ALWAYS KEEP FROZEN STRAWBERRIES IN THE FREEZER - INSTEAD OF AN ICE WATER BASE U CAN USE WATER AND FROZEN STRAWBERRIES AS ICE CUBES, IT MAKES THE JUICE COLD AND WONDERFUL AND FULL OF VITAMINS THEN THROW MAYBE A BANANA, SOME PROTEIN POWDER AND A HANDFUL OF RAW ALMONDS IN THERE AND BAM, A HEALTHY AND CLEAN BREAKFAST V GOOD FOR BEFORE OR AFTER A WORKOUT (lemme tell y’all a secret I don’t know wtf “clean” eating is but all them strawberries make u poop and if it make u poop then it gotta be clean A CLEAN INTESTINE IS A WONDERFUL INTESTINE BELOVEDS WE LEAVING CONSTIPATION IN 2018 BLESS UP 😍😂😂) . . (Slide 1: U-SAR-Paradox. Slide 2-4: unknown - pls DM for credit ❤️).: When my pup is ready for bed and the TV is too bright, he covers his eyes PRO TIP FOR MY JUICERS - ALWAYS KEEP FROZEN STRAWBERRIES IN THE FREEZER - INSTEAD OF AN ICE WATER BASE U CAN USE WATER AND FROZEN STRAWBERRIES AS ICE CUBES, IT MAKES THE JUICE COLD AND WONDERFUL AND FULL OF VITAMINS THEN THROW MAYBE A BANANA, SOME PROTEIN POWDER AND A HANDFUL OF RAW ALMONDS IN THERE AND BAM, A HEALTHY AND CLEAN BREAKFAST V GOOD FOR BEFORE OR AFTER A WORKOUT (lemme tell y’all a secret I don’t know wtf “clean” eating is but all them strawberries make u poop and if it make u poop then it gotta be clean A CLEAN INTESTINE IS A WONDERFUL INTESTINE BELOVEDS WE LEAVING CONSTIPATION IN 2018 BLESS UP 😍😂😂) . . (Slide 1: U-SAR-Paradox. Slide 2-4: unknown - pls DM for credit ❤️).

PRO TIP FOR MY JUICERS - ALWAYS KEEP FROZEN STRAWBERRIES IN THE FREEZER - INSTEAD OF AN ICE WATER BASE U CAN USE WATER AND FROZEN STRAWBE...

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Pit bulls really be built like hangry MMA competitors ready to get into a cage and pop someone’s ear open 😂 but really be as sweet as warm red velvet cupcakes with buttercream frosting and a scoop of ice cream on top GO ADOPT ONE 🙃 BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (“Smash no they’re not in Georgia a pit bull bit a baby’s arm off” OKAY SOME PIT BULL OWNERS REALLY BE TRAINING THEY PIT BULLS TO BE SPITEFUL AGAINST THEY OWN SWEET NATURE LET’S BLAME THE HUMAN NOT THE PUP BLESS UP ❤️) (Slide 1: u-OhHaiThisIsJosh. Slide 2:rrrroasted. Slide 3: u-BreezyFX. Slide 4: “Wang Wang” - pls DM if you know IG page ❤️).: I just got my boy from the pound, where he has spent the last two months. This was his incredibly happy reaction to feeling a bed Pit bulls really be built like hangry MMA competitors ready to get into a cage and pop someone’s ear open 😂 but really be as sweet as warm red velvet cupcakes with buttercream frosting and a scoop of ice cream on top GO ADOPT ONE 🙃 BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (“Smash no they’re not in Georgia a pit bull bit a baby’s arm off” OKAY SOME PIT BULL OWNERS REALLY BE TRAINING THEY PIT BULLS TO BE SPITEFUL AGAINST THEY OWN SWEET NATURE LET’S BLAME THE HUMAN NOT THE PUP BLESS UP ❤️) (Slide 1: u-OhHaiThisIsJosh. Slide 2:rrrroasted. Slide 3: u-BreezyFX. Slide 4: “Wang Wang” - pls DM if you know IG page ❤️).

Pit bulls really be built like hangry MMA competitors ready to get into a cage and pop someone’s ear open 😂 but really be as sweet as war...

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So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen your snap story you look super happy being home” and she like “Break is relaxing!! T God!! I needed it. And hehe yeah Jim is a keeper ☺️☺️☺️ miss u” <— I did not edit this lmao this how she talk I’m pasting here to prove I ain’t make this Sh!t up 🥶. And I’m like “Jim?” And she like “My father!!!! I call my parents Jim & Mary lmao whiteprivilege. I know lots of kids would be gettin the belt or facing the wrath of the chancla 😂💀” FAMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm 😩😂😂. Y’all really got the chancla confrused (yes ‘confrused’.) Y’all confrused about the chancla fam. Chancleta came out for MINOR offenses. Misdemeanors. Not no COT damn felony manslaughter 😂. Failure to obey the reasonable directive of mom duke: chancleta. Talk bacc to mama after she said something wildly offensive: chancleta. Fight - argue with big sister who started it and plus I was acting in self defense: chancleta + wooden spoon. Fam! I would get the chancleta for some Sh!t I ain’t do! 😂 Framed for a crime and without any due process: chancleta. If I hecked around and called my mama by her government(?) FAM 😂. That’s not a slap on the wrist (with a chancleta). That would just be: “goodbye.” Deada$$. Like “good 👏......bye 😥”. Emphasis on the good but then a soft, theatrical ‘bye’. That’s not even a “talk it out”. That’s just one of them “pack a small suitcase and literally dip” like in the movies lmao. Like I gotta come bacc after 10 years and I knock on the door and I have very long facial hair (even longer that it is now 😬) and she don’t recognize me and I’m like “mama?” And she like “I am sorry u at the wrong house.” And I’m like “mama I’m your son.” And she like “I HAD a son. He died.” YES FAM - DIED. DECEASED. LIKE HOW DECEASED I STILL BE EVERY TIME ONE OF MY HWITE FRENS BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THEY PARENTS. YALL BEYOND WILD FOR THAT. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: u-aprils96. Slide 2: u-stados4. Slide 3: u-JamesonRae. Slide 4: u-coinmurderer. Slide 5: u-BlemMlemFlep. Slide 6: u-samosa_pav.).: Our Ginger lost her eye in November, but is a tough girl and we think just as beautiful as ever! So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen your snap story you look super happy being home” and she like “Break is relaxing!! T God!! I needed it. And hehe yeah Jim is a keeper ☺️☺️☺️ miss u” <— I did not edit this lmao this how she talk I’m pasting here to prove I ain’t make this Sh!t up 🥶. And I’m like “Jim?” And she like “My father!!!! I call my parents Jim & Mary lmao whiteprivilege. I know lots of kids would be gettin the belt or facing the wrath of the chancla 😂💀” FAMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm 😩😂😂. Y’all really got the chancla confrused (yes ‘confrused’.) Y’all confrused about the chancla fam. Chancleta came out for MINOR offenses. Misdemeanors. Not no COT damn felony manslaughter 😂. Failure to obey the reasonable directive of mom duke: chancleta. Talk bacc to mama after she said something wildly offensive: chancleta. Fight - argue with big sister who started it and plus I was acting in self defense: chancleta + wooden spoon. Fam! I would get the chancleta for some Sh!t I ain’t do! 😂 Framed for a crime and without any due process: chancleta. If I hecked around and called my mama by her government(?) FAM 😂. That’s not a slap on the wrist (with a chancleta). That would just be: “goodbye.” Deada$$. Like “good 👏......bye 😥”. Emphasis on the good but then a soft, theatrical ‘bye’. That’s not even a “talk it out”. That’s just one of them “pack a small suitcase and literally dip” like in the movies lmao. Like I gotta come bacc after 10 years and I knock on the door and I have very long facial hair (even longer that it is now 😬) and she don’t recognize me and I’m like “mama?” And she like “I am sorry u at the wrong house.” And I’m like “mama I’m your son.” And she like “I HAD a son. He died.” YES FAM - DIED. DECEASED. LIKE HOW DECEASED I STILL BE EVERY TIME ONE OF MY HWITE FRENS BE ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH THEY PARENTS. YALL BEYOND WILD FOR THAT. BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: u-aprils96. Slide 2: u-stados4. Slide 3: u-JamesonRae. Slide 4: u-coinmurderer. Slide 5: u-BlemMlemFlep. Slide 6: u-samosa_pav.).

So I’m texting with my lil Caucasian homegirl (this is relevant in a second people - bear with me cot dammit 😂) and I’m like “aye I seen...

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YAYYYYY FAMILY TIME ALMOST OVER U PRETTY LADIES ARE MERELY MINUTES AWAY FROM NOT HAVING TO ANSWER ANY MORE NOSY A$$ QUESTIONS FROM NOSY A$$ RELATIVES ABOUT YA LOVE LIFE AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE - YOUR PATIENCE IS APPRECIATED - U COULD HAVE WILDED OUT AND STARTED SLAPPING MF’S CLEAN IN THE MOUTH STARTING AT 10:38 AM TODAY AND HAD TEETH AND DENTURES FLYING IN EVERY DIRECTION BUT U WAS COOL CALM AND COLLECTED AND TOOK THE GANDHI ROUTE 👨🏽‍🦲 U 👏 DA 👏 REAL 👏 M 👏 V 👏 P 👏 BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: reddit u-TheRickestRickRick. Slide 2: reddit u-backfire1337. Slide 3: reddit u-RecklessFreckles. Slide 4: reddit u-The_duke_of_lizards): We let my dog open his own present this year - wrapping paper and all - and l've never seen him so excited in my life YAYYYYY FAMILY TIME ALMOST OVER U PRETTY LADIES ARE MERELY MINUTES AWAY FROM NOT HAVING TO ANSWER ANY MORE NOSY A$$ QUESTIONS FROM NOSY A$$ RELATIVES ABOUT YA LOVE LIFE AND PROFESSIONAL LIFE - YOUR PATIENCE IS APPRECIATED - U COULD HAVE WILDED OUT AND STARTED SLAPPING MF’S CLEAN IN THE MOUTH STARTING AT 10:38 AM TODAY AND HAD TEETH AND DENTURES FLYING IN EVERY DIRECTION BUT U WAS COOL CALM AND COLLECTED AND TOOK THE GANDHI ROUTE 👨🏽‍🦲 U 👏 DA 👏 REAL 👏 M 👏 V 👏 P 👏 BLESS UP 😍😂😂 (Slide 1: reddit u-TheRickestRickRick. Slide 2: reddit u-backfire1337. Slide 3: reddit u-RecklessFreckles. Slide 4: reddit u-The_duke_of_lizards)
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