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Apple, Ghost, and Michigan: A ghost apple in West Michigan today: Freezing rain coated rotting apples. When the branches were shaken, the mush fell out the bottom while leaving the ice shell intact.

A ghost apple in West Michigan today: Freezing rain coated rotting apples. When the branches were shaken, the mush fell out the bottom while...

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Animals, Family, and Food: animate-mush The BitterSweet Life @BitterSweetPod Follow Interviewed a little girl this morning that feeds crows and they bring her gifts in return Here's her collection tetraghost i wish birds brought ME presents baelgrave No, but think about this The crows she feeds obviously have their own little lives. They go about their business, and they spot *pretty thing* or /unique thing/ in question. What gets me is that the "firstt thing on their minds as recipient of this thing is the little girl that feeds them They spot a thing, and immediately must think, "that nice girl with delicious foodstuffs must have this to show my gratitude." kedreeva It's actually more than that, though, if you read the articles or watch the videos. This has taken place over YEARS- it started with these birds following this little girl around because she was a messy eater and it has turned into a ritual for the family. They have a water station and food stations where they daily set out things for these birds and sometimes (but not always), these birds leave 'payment' behind for the food BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE These birds are not just taking food and leaving shinies. These birds are watching over this family now. Their lives have become involved These crows are rl and her mother even whern they are out of the yard. How do we know? keeping track of this gi One of them is a photographer, and one day while she was photographing some stuff on a bridge, she dropped her camera's lenscap over the edge. There was no way she could get it back, so she left it. When she got home, the lenscap was sitting on the edge of one of the feeding stations, waiting for her Not only were the birds following and watching over her, they weree smart enough to realize she dropped an Important Thing and cared enough to bring it back to her Source: tetraghost #animals #stones #tiny humans #THIS IS ADORABLE 1,268,331 notes Cool as a crowcumber

Cool as a crowcumber

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Anaconda, Anna, and Community: hobbit-hole if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win hobbit-hole all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he's like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they've gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don't think i could take him without magic even if he is old because he's a very large guy, but maybe it would be my knuckles against Frodo's baby soft poet hands, plus rve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn't real so he can't offer a rebuttal to my claim penny-anna you're absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D hobbit-hole this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he's too polite to do that because it's a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty penny anna for someone who doesn't want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo. animate-mush OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin. First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won't be fighting your conscience at the same time Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He's no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that's comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he's not a fighter Also there's a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn't enough if a curse by itself) And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you'll deserve it, you penny-anna Also: if you fight Frodo you'll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on ainurs Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir feynites So here's the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you'll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you'll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh. So here's what you do You fight Legolas. The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you're gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimili, so once the challenge is issued, he's not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus! Anyway Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he's also already convinced you're weaker than him anyway because you're not an elf, so he's gonna go kind of easy on you And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here's the key thing You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince That's a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener yeah? icescrabblerjerky okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here. Source:hobbit-hole #mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 32,148 notes The Tolkien discourse is getting violent
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Computers, Pressure, and School: arionwind: autismserenity: arionwind: autismserenity: ARE computers flammable? 1 feel like they're probably not? This depends entirely on how much uncooked rice you have shoved in the floppy drive Ok 1 feel like there's a story behind this There is, yes! After I quit school, I worked briefly as a computer repair tech. Going to people's houses or businesses, fixing their various bugs, etc. While I would rapidly decide that field was not for me because of the one businessman who needed mult know, you push that button and that plastic holder thing with the hole comes out 1 think it is technically call the "Cup Depository Tray CD, right?), he is not the most memorable encounter. No, that goes to one of the nicest ladies I ever encountered on this job iple cup holde eplacements (you She called us out because her computer had stopped turning on, and wouldn't even make a noise when she tried to push the button. One day it had just shut off while she was using it and stubbornly refused to come back on, and could we please see what we could do to fix it? So I go out there expecting some wire had gotten loose and there was no power getting to the machine or something. It happens sometimes if a machine gets banged around enough, or if someone fiddles with it wrong or is careless putting it together, computers are finicky like that But as soon as I get to the box itself, 1 know it isn't that simple, because of the smell. I have smelled computers with dust all up in them, that isn't uncommon, but this is just vile and, more importantly, entirely new. I am now more curious than afraid, so 1 open it up and there is a mass of goopy off-white mush spilling all over everything, parts of it are burnt to circuits, there is almost nothing untouched by the mass. But by far the worst off is the A drive. That is the obvious source of the problem, and the thing has not "exploded", but more burst from the pressure of whatever this stuff was So 1 ask the woman if she had used the floppy drive recently and noticed any problems, and she says no, not until the whole machine stopped working. But I come to find out what she used it for Turns out this woman was a devout Shinto practitioner and believed that her computer (among other things) had a soul that needed to be respected an honored. Which, fair enough. But she chose to honor it by feeding it a grain of rice every time she had to wake it up and disturb For years this kindhearted woman had been putting a grain of rice into the A driv from sleep mode. And eventually that was enough pressure to break the drive and start spilling out onto the internal bits, where the heat melted it all and caused no end of problems ime she turned it on or woke t iing u After that it was a simple enough thing to explain that there are better ways to honor and take care of your computer's needs, what with virus scans or defrags and the like, but t poor device was entirely lost. I guess the moral of the story here is that you can try your best to be good and still wind up hurting people? Maybe? Or else it's that even the most horrible out of context problem isn't nearly as frustrating as one middle aged jerk who won't freaking listen when you tell him that CD trays are not for your dang coffee cups! The end A tale from tech support

A tale from tech support

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Af, Bad, and Be Like: 38 59 58 57 56 27 14 68 69 37 25 24 67 36 12 28 15 23 10 13 2 65 64 63 62 61 60 54 53 52 51 50 16 29 35 22 9 239 17 34 30 18 20 19 32 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 40 78 77 76 75 74 73 72 71 70 31 <p><a href="http://orriculum.tumblr.com/post/167338208968/bronzewitchhazel-bronzewitchhazel" class="tumblr_blog">orriculum</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bronzewitchhazel.tumblr.com/post/167320521475/bronzewitchhazel-ace-of-pentacles" class="tumblr_blog">bronzewitchhazel</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://bronzewitchhazel.tumblr.com/post/147565253740/ace-of-pentacles-witchy-words-numinous-af" class="tumblr_blog">bronzewitchhazel</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://ace-of-pentacles.tumblr.com/post/147564419118/witchy-words-numinous-af-fucking-numinous" class="tumblr_blog">ace-of-pentacles</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://witchy-words.tumblr.com/post/147462284298">witchy-words</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://numinous-af.tumblr.com/post/142143985083">numinous-af</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://fucking-numinous.tumblr.com/post/142022718388">fucking-numinous</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://decklove.tumblr.com/post/136742187877">decklove</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://tarot-sybarite.tumblr.com/post/50984875005">tarot-sybarite</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://occultcorpus.com/forums/index.php?/topic/24512-the-full-description-of-the-spread-rahdues-wheel/">Rahdue’s Wheel</a>, a 78-card spread.</p> <p>Holy poot….</p> </blockquote> <p>*heavy breathing*</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mJBAKTjBlTFVePyVdLh_Dbg">@haemoferedoll</a> I GUESS WE GOTTA</p> </blockquote> <p>Alright children, gather round.</p> <p>If you were wondering what this would be like, wonder no more.</p> <p>Since my best friend and I have a great deal of magickal motivation and are clearly insane, WE COMPLETED THIS READING.</p> <p>It was roughly 5 hours of direct cardwork and reading, but we took breaks for food and rest, so the total time spent, between taking the cards out of the box and putting them back in, was about 9 HOURS.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="810" data-orig-width="486" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4a33084c7dd1d27cf7e2056e29ce8295/tumblr_inline_o512koUE1w1tmgo1d_540.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d1116cee08b88e36034c6c8f2b9ece73/tumblr_inline_p0kg5i5xp01t538c4_540.jpg" data-orig-height="810" data-orig-width="486" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4a33084c7dd1d27cf7e2056e29ce8295/tumblr_inline_o512koUE1w1tmgo1d_540.jpg"/></figure><p>(Photo ft. bad lighting and my unbrushed hair.)</p> <p>I had the privilege of choosing the cards, setting them up, and giving the reading for my much-beloved <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mJBAKTjBlTFVePyVdLh_Dbg">@haemoferedoll</a>, who was a very patient and open querent.</p> <p>By the end of the reading, we were decidedly exhausted.  My eyes were blurry, my head was swimming, my brain seemed to have deteriorated into rude, viscous mush, and my throat felt raw and sore from having talked so much.  Even my joints were achy.  I was basically an old crone by the end of it.</p> <p>But, oh, let me learn you a thing.  THIS SHIT WAS  </p> <p>E N L I G H T E N I N G.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="444" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d2e426bdf9a0432b099b256e6b5db39a/tumblr_inline_o512koWEyk1tmgo1d_540.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/82847e335169d66a1eb80a1caf3b8bbf/tumblr_inline_p0kg5jwx511t538c4_540.jpg" data-orig-height="444" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d2e426bdf9a0432b099b256e6b5db39a/tumblr_inline_o512koWEyk1tmgo1d_540.jpg"/></figure><p>The cards spelled out a clear story, with significant life lessons, warnings, and even illuminating information about past lives.  I’ve honestly never had a reading with such clear and definitive messages.  It was like the veil just parted to let the universe throw us some handy-dandy-4-1-1.  </p> <p>For real, the cards were super specific and helpful.</p> <p>Actually, after we were done, I was told that the reading was “more helpful than years of therapy.”~.  Potential hyperbole aside, I think the reading really did assist real and significant progress for my friend, which I’m wicked pumped about. </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="405" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/eb0bc2fb0fb7adb2ad98f53e8dc6e65b/tumblr_inline_o512kqkCVv1tmgo1d_540.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/fc77d30060696b0db30d1c9aabb5cf2a/tumblr_inline_p0kg5j4Dm61t538c4_540.jpg" data-orig-height="405" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/eb0bc2fb0fb7adb2ad98f53e8dc6e65b/tumblr_inline_o512kqkCVv1tmgo1d_540.jpg"/></figure><p>IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS READING YOURSELF, I say to fuckin’ go for it.  It was a great experience as a diviner, an awesome chance to practice, and very affirming of my ability, and <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mJBAKTjBlTFVePyVdLh_Dbg">@haemoferedoll</a> found it really helpful.  </p> <p>However, PLEASE read all of the detailed information on the spread and how it works BEFORE you start the reading. If you don’t, you’re gonna have a hell of a bad time.  </p> <p>Also, be aware that a significant portion of the reading revolves around past lives. If that doesn’t align with your personal beliefs, I would suggest you either skip those parts of the reading, or replace them with specific questions of your own.</p> <p>ALSO.  I’m pretty sure this reading doesn’t NEED to last so long.  I was extremely thorough, and I’m very picky with choosing cards, so just the process of setting up took almost an hour.  </p> <p>I also personally went into a lot detail with helping my friend interpret the cards and their story.  If you simply do a quick overview, I bet the reading would be way faster and much less of an ordeal.</p> <p>For me though, the “ordeal” of it made it an experience.  It was absolutely worth the effort for what I got out of it.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="720" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b3f6ddba8c2aa05fcf449caa05a3c24f/tumblr_inline_o512ks3s4h1tmgo1d_540.jpg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/21c5cb9ba06af82664fa850aeb76c143/tumblr_inline_p0kg5jh47U1t538c4_540.jpg" data-orig-height="720" data-orig-width="540" data-orig-src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b3f6ddba8c2aa05fcf449caa05a3c24f/tumblr_inline_o512ks3s4h1tmgo1d_540.jpg"/></figure><p>TL;DR: We did the thing.  We liked the thing.  The thing was exhausting.  If you do the thing yourself, do the thing your own way and be smart about it.  </p> <p>AND LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS!  #fuckyeahdivination<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I’m exhausted just looking at this spread, but I can’t look away.</p> </blockquote> <p>This is intense</p> </blockquote> <p>I feel the call but at the same time I’m like “nah brah. Imma lose my focus halfway through.”</p> <p>But I am definitely feeling this spread.</p> </blockquote> <p><a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mdiqcN8bAAt0wh8BJTNT_sw">@orriculum</a> this the post ur looking for?</p> </blockquote> <p>Ah yes it is!! Thank you 💕</p> </blockquote>
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Apple, Bad, and Beef: HOW TO REFORM HUSBANDS BY CERTAIN KINDS OF FOODS. Following is a list of foods which, according to an expert, may, when cooked for police court defendants by their wives, give them happy homes again: tough beef. turnips, leeks. fingers LAZINESS Peppers, horseradish, tobasco, chop sney, radishes NERVOUSNESS Chicken salad, hot chocolate, etring beans, WIFE-BEATING-Vegetables, nuts and cereals, jelly cake, lady UNLOVING-Steak, chops, carrots, spinach, Lima beans, cakes. COLD FEET-Buckwheat cakes, sausage, fried potatoes, shad roe. COLD HANDS-Rice, tapioca, cheese cake, pork chops, brown bread. TALKING IN SLEEP -Onions, garlic, anchovies, bolled ham, also clothes pins. SNORING-Welsh rabbit, pickled onions, bloaters, cream puffs. STAYING OUT--Canvas back duck, terrapin, ice cream, chocolate eclairs. DRINKING-Mush, milk, candy, marmalade, tit-bits, tafy STUPIDITY-Fresh fish, oatmeal, corned beef, hash, cranberry tarts. stale bread. chops. bread, citron. chicken. pudding. BAD TEMPER-Pigs' knuckles, sauerkraut, tripe, buttermilk HENPECKED Raw beef sandwiches, beans, carrots, mutton BRAIN STORM Cold water, lemonade, oatmeal gruel, corn GAMBLING-Near-foods, grated nutmeg, doughnuts, apple pie, MOLLYCODDLEBeefsteak and ontons, roast mutton, plum FLIRTING Onions. <p><a href="https://patron-saint-of-smart-asses.tumblr.com/post/160926472574/emeraldboreas-yesterdaysprint-the-akron" class="tumblr_blog">patron-saint-of-smart-asses</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://emeraldboreas.tumblr.com/post/160926159891/yesterdaysprint-the-akron-beacon-journal" class="tumblr_blog">emeraldboreas</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://yesterdays-print.com/post/160925958904/the-akron-beacon-journal-ohio-april-3-1907" class="tumblr_blog">yesterdaysprint</a>:</p> <blockquote><p> The Akron Beacon Journal, Ohio, April 3, 1907<br/></p></blockquote> <p>What.</p> </blockquote> <p>FLIRTING – ONIONS<br/></p></blockquote> <p>Beating your wife? Try some carrots!</p>

patron-saint-of-smart-asses: emeraldboreas: yesterdaysprint: The Akron Beacon Journal, Ohio, April 3, 1907 What. FLIRTING – ONIONS Bea...

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Food, Life, and Animal: l'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, four by lfour, animal-style, extra shinales with a shimmy and a squeeze light axle grease, make it cry burn it, and let it swim lwilhave the meal known as the Bossy dele,execpt doubledaswellas triped and on afotation device the patterm should be quadruple by quadruple,syled after the creatures of the animal kingdom, extra roof omamentsshimmied and embracedas wellas light varety of connecting pipe food oil, make ithoribly depressed,set talight a llit to proplltselfinthe water. I, the invertibrate known as bubblebass, will be partaking in the popular bikini botom food known as the Krabby Patty the form known as the bossy deluxe in particular,however,Iwould, in addition to this,Iwould like the burger to be modified in the following ways the amount of ingredients used should be doubled, then the aforementioned ingredients should be tripled,ona device created for the purpose of floating atop water,Ishall make the pattern of the burger to be in the format of four, followed by another four,it should follow severalmilarites particular mainly to the genus ofcreatures known popularly as wellas scientifically as the animal kingdom,additional ornaments are to be applied to the top of t, shookenthouroghlyand compressed between fingers, as wellas a notably non-heavy connecting lavored food lubricant, force the burger into suicidal depression, make the several times aforementioned burger combustas wel, and give it the freedom to move in the four cardinal directions in the undersea area l am an undersea creature from the genus commonlv ofinvertibrates rerefreeerd to as fish particularlaythe veraity known as basss, despite hte fact theat it is illogicaetl to expect a fishl, especiallyonme of my varietly to order a hamburerr but dispite thisl would heavilly prefer tohavfe a burger from the popular bikinini bottob resturant to as the krucstie krak in orderr to have eno of thies brugers thea variety of burger that l would like tooo order wouuuld be the authority-exersising elite edition on a device created by the homohomohomohomosapien speciesssin ordere to make them able to flaot atop the chemical refererereed to as as h2o, the pattern in which should be asssembleed is the four by four by four by four by four by four by four, in should also by increased in sized in order to use double the atoms in its makup in order to make it ore able to sustain my life wwwwith ist nutrientss, makee the burger have even more ff ornaments then ti should usually have, condense the atoms that make up the burger in such a way as the constitute the actillion auajai TO as a squeeeeze, add particulararly non-heavy food fat, mocc the burger until it has a massive tdeisiser to kil itself like mine as welll u should allow it to take part in the activity wherein it mush use its body to propell itseeelf in the presviously mentioned hhhhh2222o000 I, the under sea umnde sauucse crecker ffered as bubble bass would bperfer a genus of squeeze SW ngin ah20 ned homosa sty raft and ase nts to make the chen some ofhteli ngan as nnihninininininininininin inimnini bObbbbbot7ummeme men ñeme in uorlippe towoo this myself woooc like somme sucicidal dpersssion aaaaaaaa Krabby burger

Krabby burger

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Birthday, Family, and Food: Employees, Due to the recent actions of a specific employee, we have been forced to update our office rules. Please find these new rules below: 1. Do not take food from the break room that is not yours 2. Do not use office printers to print personal items (e.g. invitations to your fish's birthday party) 3. Do not dress up as a ghost and 'haunt' the supply room 4. Do not play the saxophone in the elevator and refuse to let people exit if they don't tip you 5. Do not tie a rolling chair to coworkers and yell "MUSH" in the hopes they will drag you around the office 6. Do not hire a rooster to be your assistant 7. Do not replace an employee's family portraits with pictures of yourself playing the saxophone 8. Do not yell "spaghetti fight" and then start throwing spaghetti 9. Do not secretly board up the entrances to cubicles so employees can't get out 10. Do not collect money from everyone to pick up lunch and then go to the casino 11. Do not fill a donut box with scorpions and leave it in the break room 12. Do not spend all day Googling images of "cool guys playing the saxophone" 13.DO NOT PUT CHEESE SLICES IN THE PAPER SHREDDER 14. Do not write "day care" on the bathroom door and leave your baby in there 15. Do not call a company-wide meeting that is really just a 'concert' of you in the parking lot playing the saxophone 16. Do not tell everyone Brad is dead. Brad is not dead. He is in Florida. He will be back on Monday. Moving forward, failure to abide by these rules will be grounds for termination. Thank you, Management obvious plant Somebody Sign Me Up to Work in This Officehttp://meme-rage.tumblr.com

Somebody Sign Me Up to Work in This Officehttp://meme-rage.tumblr.com

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Advice, Bilbo, and Books: <p><a href="http://lilprince.tumblr.com/post/109345651525">lilprince</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://ekjohnston.tumblr.com/post/109262915267/cogito-ergo-dumb-sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b">ekjohnston</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://cogito-ergo-dumb.tumblr.com/post/107458727422/sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b-iridescentoracle">cogito-ergo-dumb</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b.tumblr.com/post/107004606109/iridescentoracle-animate-mush-malibujojo">sourwolf-loki-destiel-221b</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://iridescentoracle.tumblr.com/post/105513973543">iridescentoracle</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://animate-mush.tumblr.com/post/105364265135/malibujojo-pippin4242-lulasseth">animate-mush</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://malibujojo.tumblr.com/post/105362854318/pippin4242-lulasseth">malibujojo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://pippin4242.tumblr.com/post/105353786205/lulasseth-imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants">pippin4242</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://lulasseth.tumblr.com/post/77990057415/imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants">lulasseth</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants.tumblr.com/post/74805488473/hash-tag-whatever-merry-confused-awe">imsorryimovedtoaidanturnerspants</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://hash-tag-whatever.tumblr.com/post/39509385253/merry-confused-awe-frodo-confused-awe">hash-tag-whatever</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Merry: confused awe</p> <p>Frodo: confused awe</p> <p>Sam: confused awe</p> <p>Pippin: finally i’m getting the respect i deserve from these peasants </p> </blockquote> <p>so accurate i am choking on my carrot. this is making me giggle harder than it should. I love Pippin so much.</p> </blockquote> <p>I don’t think there will come time when I’m not reblogging this. Sorry guys. </p> </blockquote> <p>no no no you guys don’t understand, Pippin <i>is</i> someone really important in the Shire! The books don’t talk about it a lot, and the movies won’t touch that stuff with a bargepole, but Pippin will be inheriting land rights to about a quarter of the Shire. He’s second in line to becoming military leader of <i>all Hobbits</i>. His dad is currently in charge of that stuff, but he’s completely aware of it, and educated for it, and that’s why he’s such an over privileged little shit in the books.</p> </blockquote> <p>I thought it was a shame the movies didn’t talk about class differences in the Shire. Also puts M&amp;P stealing food in an uglier light.</p> </blockquote> <p>To be fair, at the time of the Party, Pippin would have been 12, which puts it back into a more acceptable light.  And they’re stealing food <i>from Bilbo</i>, a wealthy and eccentric family member, which again makes things a bit different.</p> <p>But yes, when they call Pippin <i>Ernil i Perrianath -</i> Prince of the Halflings - they are actually completely spot on.</p> <p>And when Pippin tells Bergil “my father farms the land around Tuckborough” he’s deliberately downplaying his class so that he can greet the boy as an equal rather than a superior.  It’s Pippin’s most adult moment in the series.  Bergil is engaging in a status contest which Pippin can <i>totally win - </i>but instead chooses not to compete.  Pippin is a gilded and spoiled lordling in the Shire, but he becomes a Man of Gondor.</p> </blockquote> <p>Yeah, to add a bit of unnecessary trivia/level of preciseness, Frodo is the oldest of the four; he was born in 2968, was (obviously) 33 at the time of the Party, and so he’s 51 here. Sam’s second-oldest; born in 2980, he was 21 when Bilbo left and is 39 at this point. Merry’s two years younger than Sam, making him 18 or 19 in 3001, when the Party took place, and Pippin was born in 2990, so he was actually 10 or 11 during the Party, and during this scene they’re ~37 and ~29, respectively.</p> <p>So yeah, Pippin’s the youngest by a <i>lot</i>. Plus, taking hobbit aging into account, he really is still in the equivalent of his teens; remember the Party was half to celebrate Frodo’s coming-of-age at <i>33</i>, and Pippin’s around twenty years <i>younger than Frodo</i>. </p> </blockquote> <p>This fucked me up. I didn’t read the books and in the movie it was shown like Frodo took off with the ring like 2 days after Bilbo’s gone away, but it was 17 years after that. OMFG.</p> </blockquote> <p>i’m not sure if it’s ever been explicitly stated but the movie and book follow different timelines</p> <p>in the books, bilbo leaves the shire 60 years after his first adventure, giving frodo the ring. seventeen years pass before frodo sets out on his quest</p> <p>in the movies, seventeen years cannot have passed while gandalf goes all nancy drew in denethor’s basement - for one, pippin is obviously not 10 in the party scene - but the story does allow us some wiggle room - maybe a few months, even a year or two? (I DUNNO DID JACKSON EVER SPECIFY GIMMIE NUMBERS)</p> <p>this also accouts for a lot of the confusion re. aragorns age following thranduils advice to legolas at the end of BOFA - in the books, aragorn is about ten during the events of the hobbit, but in the contracted movie timeline, he tells eowyn he’s eighty seven, putting him somewhere around 27+ when legolas goes off to find him</p> <p>also i think i heard some messing around was done with thorins age? i dunno BASICALLY THE MOVIE TIMELINE IS CONTRACTED AND FUDGED AROUND WITH AS MUCH AS THE MOVIE MAPS dont even get me started on those</p> <p>BUT BACK TO PIPPIN</p> <p>so pippin does indeed become the thain, merry also become the head of <i>his</i> ginormous family - the master of buckland, in fact</p> <p>but you know whats best of all</p> <p><i>SAM BECOMES MAYOR OF THE SHIRE</i></p> <p><i>SAMWISE GAMGEE BECOMES ELECTED MAYOR OF THE SHIRE SEVEN TIMES</i></p> <p>k so to understand the importance of this you gotta remember that sam is poor</p> <p>he comes from a poor family - so poor, in fact, that i’m fairly certain that sam was the only one of them who could <i>read - </i>and only because bilbo taught him. in the very first scene of FOTR, the Gaffer (sam’s dad) says</p> <p><i>“But my lad Sam will know more about [Bilbo’s treasure]. He’s in and out of Bag End. Crazy about stories of the old days he is, and he listens to all Mr.Bilbo’s tales. Mr. Bilbo has learned him his letters - meaning no harm, mark you,and I hope no harm will come of it.</i></p> <p><i>“Elves and Dragons’ I says to him. ‘Cabbages and potatoes are better for me and you. Don’t go getting mixed up in the business of your betters, or you’ll land in trouble too big for you,”I says to him. And I might say it to others,” he added with a look at the stranger and the miller.”</i></p> <p>firstly im super fascinated by class divides in the shire - and there is a huge gap between the workers and the landed gentry- but not the bitter feud between proletariat and bourgeoisie of the industrial england that tolkien so despised. the poor of the shire are the poor of an idealised rustic england. there are no slums in the shire, and i imagine that the homeless vagrants (if they exist) are more akin to Wordsworth’s <a href="http://www.bartleby.com/145/ww139.html">Old Cumberland Beggar</a> IM SO SORRY TO BRING WORDSWORTH INTO THIS, I REALLY AM but yeah does anyone wanna talk pre industrial revolution englands social structures and how they relates to the shire cause im pretty sure thats what tolkiens aiming for here</p> <p>SORRY im off topic im talking about how hella rad it is that sam becomes mayor of the shire and pippin becomes the thain and merry becomes master of buckland and between the three of them they lead the shire into a golden age of prosperity and happiness and good external relations with gondor and arnor and rohan</p> <p>ALSO SAMS DAUGHTER AND PIPPINS SON GET MARRIED HA HA IM GONNA GO HIDE FOR A WHILE ITS TOO CUTE</p> </blockquote> <p>Basically the Shire operates Perfectly (with a few notable exceptions, like Ted Sandyman and the Sackville-Bagginses), <i>unless it is being meddled with</i>. So while Gandalf sets up the Rangers to protect the borders (not meddling), Saruman introduces trade the Shire can’t support, imports Men and industry, and <i>unseats those in charge </i>(Will Whitfoot, the Mayor, is the only Hobbit who has been in the Lockholes longer than Lobelia, and during the Scouring, the first military thing Pippin does is go to Tuckborough with some Hobbiton lads and break the siege on the Great Smial so that the Tooks can help roust Sharky.</p> <p>So, Hobbits <i>have</i> rank, but they don’t care much about it. What you do is way more important, and social mobility isn’t unheard of. The only person who ever talks down to Sam is his own father. Pippin and Merry <i>recruit him on purpose, </i>and Rosie (whose father is a landowner, which the Gaffer is not), is not even a BIT reluctant to marry him <i>before he does anything heroic</i>, just because he’s a great person.</p> <p>HOBBITS, I TELL YOU. HOBBITS.</p> </blockquote> <p>I love the Tolkien side of tumblr. You are my people</p></blockquote>
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