🔥 Popular | Latest

Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
Save
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
Save
Gif, Life, and Tumblr: <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158992231175/superwobble-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://superwobble.tumblr.com/post/158992122151/life-insurancequote-yo-fuckers" class="tumblr_blog">superwobble</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158991373010/yo-fuckers-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://yo-fuckers.tumblr.com/post/158991346334" class="tumblr_blog">yo-fuckers</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158991266930/innocent-before-this-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://innocent-before-this.tumblr.com/post/158990706175/life-insurancequote-quake-drill-mom" class="tumblr_blog">innocent-before-this</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158285697780/quake-drill-mom-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://quake-drill-mom.tumblr.com/post/158284404500/life-insurancequote-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">quake-drill-mom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158283550240/life-insurancequote-merlin-wholock" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158259140420/merlin-wholock-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://merlin-wholock.tumblr.com/post/158258246813/life-insurancequote-galaxygoldfishes" class="tumblr_blog">merlin-wholock</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158257279150/galaxygoldfishes-life-insurancequote-this-is" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://galaxygoldfishes.tumblr.com/post/158257107000/life-insurancequote-this-is-my-private-jet-going" class="tumblr_blog">galaxygoldfishes</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158255105025/this-is-my-private-jet-going-down-the-tarmac" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>This is my private jet going down the tarmac.</p> <p>Whomever guesses correctly <b>how many dollars I spent having this footage created will win $20</b>.  <i>(paid via PayPal or Cash.me) </i><br/></p> <p>Reblog your answer now before that other person totally does!<br/></p> <p><a href="http://YourLifeSolution.com"><b>YourLifeSolution.com (View your own life insurance rates instantly and anonymously)</b></a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>$1,549</p> </blockquote> <p>It’s at least 70% less than that.  (GET IT?!  Like the life insurance!)</p> </blockquote> <p>$450</p> </blockquote> <p>At least 70% less than that!  <a href="http://YourLifeSolution.com">GET LIFE INSURANCE!</a></p> <p>MYAHHHHH! Who’s going to guess it?!<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>No one has guessed it yet.  </p> </blockquote> <p>0$, you didn’t pay for it, your boss did. <br/></p> </blockquote> <figure data-orig-height="243" data-orig-width="268"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b91ddfd07e8cf0f607b82835a5628f41/tumblr_inline_omoan2Vu6m1s7zggm_500.gif" data-orig-height="243" data-orig-width="268"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Technically they’re right. You didn’t pay anything your boss did. You owe @quake-drill-mom $20<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I own this operation ie Stockholm Financial Inc dba YourLifeSolution.com. </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="275" data-orig-width="365"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/354a163403e83ae8c7cccdd31aa2aa2d/tumblr_inline_onm3hbnpYf1s7zggm_500.gif" data-orig-height="275" data-orig-width="365"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Ok, my guess is $50.</p> </blockquote> <p>LOWER!  Who’s it gunna be?!</p> <p><br/></p> <p><br/></p> <p><a href="http://YourLifeSolution.com">GET LIFE INSURANCE!!!!</a></p> </blockquote> <p>$20</p> </blockquote> <p>To all the people who keep saying “$20″.</p> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="459" data-orig-height="344" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DRk81yzaurGw"><iframe width="540" height="405" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Rk81yzaurGw?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure><p> IT’S LOWER!  GET LIFE INSURANCE! <br/></p> </blockquote>
Save
Gif, Life, and Tumblr: <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158992231175/superwobble-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://superwobble.tumblr.com/post/158992122151/life-insurancequote-yo-fuckers" class="tumblr_blog">superwobble</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158991373010/yo-fuckers-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://yo-fuckers.tumblr.com/post/158991346334" class="tumblr_blog">yo-fuckers</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158991266930/innocent-before-this-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://innocent-before-this.tumblr.com/post/158990706175/life-insurancequote-quake-drill-mom" class="tumblr_blog">innocent-before-this</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158285697780/quake-drill-mom-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://quake-drill-mom.tumblr.com/post/158284404500/life-insurancequote-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">quake-drill-mom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158283550240/life-insurancequote-merlin-wholock" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158259140420/merlin-wholock-life-insurancequote" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://merlin-wholock.tumblr.com/post/158258246813/life-insurancequote-galaxygoldfishes" class="tumblr_blog">merlin-wholock</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158257279150/galaxygoldfishes-life-insurancequote-this-is" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://galaxygoldfishes.tumblr.com/post/158257107000/life-insurancequote-this-is-my-private-jet-going" class="tumblr_blog">galaxygoldfishes</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://life-insurancequote.tumblr.com/post/158255105025/this-is-my-private-jet-going-down-the-tarmac" class="tumblr_blog">life-insurancequote</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>This is my private jet going down the tarmac.</p> <p>Whomever guesses correctly <b>how many dollars I spent having this footage created will win $20</b>.  <i>(paid via PayPal or Cash.me) </i><br/></p> <p>Reblog your answer now before that other person totally does!<br/></p> <p><a href="http://YourLifeSolution.com"><b>YourLifeSolution.com (View your own life insurance rates instantly and anonymously)</b></a><br/></p> </blockquote> <p>$1,549</p> </blockquote> <p>It’s at least 70% less than that.  (GET IT?!  Like the life insurance!)</p> </blockquote> <p>$450</p> </blockquote> <p>At least 70% less than that!  <a href="http://YourLifeSolution.com">GET LIFE INSURANCE!</a></p> <p>MYAHHHHH! Who’s going to guess it?!<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>No one has guessed it yet.  </p> </blockquote> <p>0$, you didn’t pay for it, your boss did. <br/></p> </blockquote> <figure data-orig-height="243" data-orig-width="268"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/b91ddfd07e8cf0f607b82835a5628f41/tumblr_inline_omoan2Vu6m1s7zggm_500.gif" data-orig-height="243" data-orig-width="268"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Technically they’re right. You didn’t pay anything your boss did. You owe @quake-drill-mom $20<br/></p> </blockquote> <p>I own this operation ie Stockholm Financial Inc dba YourLifeSolution.com. </p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="275" data-orig-width="365"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/354a163403e83ae8c7cccdd31aa2aa2d/tumblr_inline_onm3hbnpYf1s7zggm_500.gif" data-orig-height="275" data-orig-width="365"/></figure></blockquote> <p>Ok, my guess is $50.</p> </blockquote> <p>LOWER!  Who’s it gunna be?!</p> <p><br/></p> <p><br/></p> <p><a href="http://YourLifeSolution.com">GET LIFE INSURANCE!!!!</a></p> </blockquote> <p>$20</p> </blockquote> <p>To all the people who keep saying “$20″.</p> <figure class="tmblr-embed tmblr-full" data-provider="youtube" data-orig-width="459" data-orig-height="344" data-url="https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DRk81yzaurGw"><iframe width="540" height="405" id="youtube_iframe" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Rk81yzaurGw?feature=oembed&amp;enablejsapi=1&amp;origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&amp;wmode=opaque" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></figure><p> IT’S LOWER!  GET LIFE INSURANCE! <br/></p> </blockquote>
Save