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Head, Hungry, and Lazy: The "I'm Not Angry" Mark Usage: When you need to be brief, but you're not angry Example We need to talk The Sinceriod Usage When you want to break out of your cycnical shell and be truly honest with someone. Example: Oh, wow, Thank you, This sweater is just what I wanted Sarcastises Usage The opposite of the sinceriod. Use when you want to be sarcastic, but in a way that's totally different and better from whatever system you're using now. Example: Oh, wow. Thank you. This sweater is just what I wanted. Hemi-Demi-Semi Colon Usage: If you don't know when it's appropriate to use a semi-colon, and you're too lazy to learn, you can use this in place of commas, semi-colons, and periods. Pretty much wherever you feel like it Eхample: Now I can act superior and avoid learning anything I'm a stain on humanity Andorpersand Usage: One simple symbol for "and/or" Example: Some people hate the very existence of the phrase "and/or, " but these people are uptight &o stupid Mockwotation Marks Usage: For quoting something that someone didn't say, but totally would say with the way they're being right now. The written equivalent of doing an impression of someone by saying "Look at me, I'm so-and-so" and wiggling your hands by your head, and speaking in a high-pitched voice. I'm Stacey. I'm going to complain about being hungry but not offer any suggestions of my own, said Stacey. Collegelf Superellipsis Usage: For an extreme dramatic pause. When you want the reader to wait a good 20 seconds before reading the next part of the sentence. Maybe even imagine the lights flickering and some thunder crashing. Example: He paused, cautiously, as he approached the superellipsis. On the other side he found... more words! Collegelm Morgan Freemark Usage: Reminds readers that they can read words in any voice they want, so maybe they should read these words in Morgan Freeman's voice. Example: And so, Kevin took this big swig of vodka and straight-up ran head-first into the wall you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: New And Necessary Punctuation Marks

lolzandtrollz: New And Necessary Punctuation Marks

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Bad, Cookies, and Dad: Godzilla Tag Yourself That Ain't Falco Didn't forget what you did -Best in track -Is there Grumpy Cat Butterfly I say your justice qoes too far! -Sometimes smol Good dad r you but Badderfly justice doesn't go you mock in -drives environmentally -Good Babysitter -Is on your side Einstein -Wants everyone to be friends middle school too far enough! friendly car Can count how many -Wasn't invited -Screams moth friend wants to be helpful are about fensive on one hand. -Kinda Selish -Needs to slow down Boba Fett Didn't do much Kanga-Rex Palpatine Kamacurry -Mob mentality -Always blends in -Tries st kicks uly Talks big game Itsy Bitsy -loved by all -Great at extreme sports Doeshtgive a hood Moral Support -Awesome -Kinda overrated -Only one who sees the big picture -Stunt double ary aks big Cam Might not even be real Has the laugh that gets everyone going -Secretly a toad pams twitch chat school -Makes a egg casserole Literal grime Savage even when not trying -Used to be a big deal -Don't disturb -Got big plans SPAAACE Monty Mole r but doesn't rare Is just here to raise the roof. Mecha Ghidio u but smarter -Sophisticated horoscope reader -Probably had too much coffee-Just wants to rule the world -Back by unpopular demand Little Shop of Horrors -Who are you? I'm you but less privileged -Has taken up a new leaf handlla s but thinks he could -Knows there isn't a spoon. All according to plan -Won't leave his couch fort a trench coat a pokemon Sill is hut can't kiss Is probably only good because it benefits him -ls in a bad mood and fixing to take it out on you -ls so done all the timeA Frieza Switches to vour main after beating you in smash bros -Looks up to Jason Voorhees s hetter than Knows it Lovebirds -Brings a tactical warhead on first date -cocky teens Lil Green -Awkward phase Diggersby -smoler -picks on things more e True Armadillo Facts Red Lobster Mis Ghidio the downtrodder -Good with electronics Hates spicy foods -Good guard dog -Came to attack people and is having a good time l -pure -Didn't ask for this small than him -Didn't deserve any of this -Except for that one time -Surprisingly Reliable T peo -Notorious party crasher -Easy Target ple's hero -Won't die -has regrets -Came for f T -esteem F-Type Master Splinter Titanic Tuna Is with the wrong crowd nut learned ett tt in Megatron - Has no clue what you? I'm vou Robot Chicken of JUSTICE but shinier he's doing ececut bimself in -Lonely piggyback rides -Communicates -Doesn't know why he's here but is happy to help is head -Goodenforcer Hator mat woodshop Edgemeister anybody's way mbs ups Has the best pokerface-Will conquer the worldSneaks by auoting fortune cookies List of skills include bi best breaking things sily influenced Has 50 different Will wreck you in karaoke -Is there for you -Never not smiling -Good cop in to ways to kill you -big bro friend his tunes Fullmetal Kirby Flygon Grouchy Kitty -Who are you? not you, Who are you? I'm you but aping-Who are you? I'm a bug Who are you? The terminator have promising future Still voung at heart" -I don't have that. I need it.-Listens to Three Days Grace on full blast Still does? The queen imlot of crap for Insecure -Intentionally has dog poop your lawn Came to ruin everything Now brute forces everything -It's mine now eating habits -Identity crisis -Most expressive -ls a black belt Mayhe redeemable -Just wants to go on a family picnic .Drinks tears -killed a man plays a golden fiddle -beloved scum andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

andrewtheamericandude: Some of these are stupid jokes that even I don’t get 

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Amazon, Bad, and Be Like: krista (030) y@cherryblushed i used to read 3-4 full sized novels in middle school. now i see anything longer than a paragraph and bounce. i'll miss u brain cells, can't believe u peaked at age 12 15/9/18, 1:04 pm 68 Retweets 238 Likes takingbackmyfirstamendmentrights: dewdrop156: memecage: It do be like that. I was having a surprisingly good conversation with my sister recently and I was talking about how one of the reasons I don’t read as much as I used to is because I don’t have the same resources I did when I was a 4th grader. When I was a kid, I could sit and read all I wanted, all I had to to was exist and go where people took me. I didn’t have to feed myself or pay bills or keep track of things, which of course now I have to deal with all of those things so I can’t read as much and tend to read pretty easy to read books. My sister brought up the really good point that, of course I want to read easy books, I’m a young adult, in a very tumultuous phase of life, constantly being thrown new information, my brain doesnt want a classical novel, my brain wants something readable and immersive. tl;dr don’t feel bad for not reading as much as you used to, it’s okay. Read what you can when you can and don’t stress about the rest But nowadays, there are so many more resources for reading that you can gain access to. Even though you’re busy and stressed out my life, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to strive to read whenever possible. I’ve compiled this basic list of super accessible ways to read in the modern age.1. LibbyLibby is a library app, and it free to use. If you have a library card (which you can either pick up at a branch or online, depending on where you live), you put in your information, and you have access to your library’s ebooks and audiobooks. Generally, you can check ebooks out for two to three weeks, and it gives you the option to renew (if someone isn’t waiting in line for that book) or return early. It’s super user- friendly. If you want to scam the system a little bit, a lot of libraries give you 30 to 60 days after making a card online to come in and actually get a physical card and show your ID. If you are looking for a specific book that your library may not have, make library cards at other locations with fake addresses and check out their supply. I personally have about eight library cards, so I always can find what I’m looking for unless it’s super rare. 2. KindleWhile you can buy the actual Amazon e-reader, you can also just use the free app. There are a bunch of ebooks you can read for free, or for a low price. If you have Kindle Unlimited ($10/month), you can borrow up to ten KU books at a time for as long as you want. A lot of authors have KU books, so it’s a good way to go. 3. NookBarnes and Noble’s Nook is similar to the Kindle—comes in a physical e-reader, but is also usable as a free app. I will say I find that their selection generally costs more than Amazon’s selection, but it’s an option if you prefer to stay away from Amazon products. One thing they do sometime around the end of the year is send you out a refund check for all the books that you purchased through them that were at a higher market price then they would’ve been elsewhere. I’ve gotten like three of these, so I figure it’s a regular thing. 4. AudibleFor people who are sight-impaired or have difficulty sitting down and reading a book, audiobooks are SO the way to go. When you sign up, you can receive up to two free audiobooks, and whatever plan you decide to go with gives you two free audiobooks a month (from a specific selection) in addition to your credits! If you have Kindle ebooks, there is sometimes an option to purchase the accompanying Audible audiobook for a super discounted rate. If you don’t like an audiobook, you can call in to return it at any time. I have something like forty or fifty audiobooks from them, and I’ve exchanged another twenty. These options are all in addition to physical books from your local library, and discount bookstores. The nice thing about ebooks is that generally they have the option to highlight and bookmark pages, change the font size and type, and even change the color of the page if you prefer.I always thought audiobooks were for old people until a few years ago when I was commuting about three hours a day for work. I wasn’t reading nearly as much, and as an avid reader, that distressed me greatly.Finally, I looked into audiobooks and it was a huge life changer. Instead of wasting three hours a day in traffic, I was reading for three hours a day that I would’ve otherwise not been able to. Not only does it make a trip go faster, but it makes it much more enjoyable.And even if you don’t want it for the commute or for the gym, audiobooks are a really good option for people who have vision problems. I have migraines when I stare at screens too much, so I pop on an audiobook and just crochet or do the dishes. I have a friend who has very bad eyesight, and he has not been able to read in something close to a year. I set him up with a library card and a Libby account, and all of a sudden, he was able to catch up on all the books he had been wanting to read!I’m just saying, I promote reading because no matter what you read, you’re learning something. Even though life is stressful and crazy and distracting, there are still ways you can find to sit down and curl up with a good book. “My brother has his sword, I have my books. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.” -Tyrion Lannister

takingbackmyfirstamendmentrights: dewdrop156: memecage: It do be like that. I was having a surprisingly good conversation with my sister r...

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Books, Energy, and Music: This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and l create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes when l am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals-sounds that say listen to this, it is important So write with a combination of short, medium, and long sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader's ear. Don't just write words. Write music. Gary Provost sol1056: scripturient-manipulator: bookmania: Seven years after, I see you again 😚 Guys this completely changed my writing, heed it. I often do an entire draft just looking at sentence variation and oftentimes the results are absolutely transformative in the difference. If I were to list everything from Gary Provost that changed my writing, I’d just be quoting all his books back at you. If you can find a copy of Make Every Word Count, get it, read it. None of this navel-gazing about creativity; he gets into the weeds of how to use words to create stories. Brilliant stuff.

sol1056: scripturient-manipulator: bookmania: Seven years after, I see you again 😚 Guys this completely changed my writing, heed it. I ...

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7-Eleven, A Dream, and Basketball: 221biotchplease: leaveittotegan: lumnie: chemisquid: dippersballoon: I saw an opportunity and I took it This is what they mean when they say life flashes before your eyes as you die For those wondering, the song is ”Mr. Blue Sky” by ELO. Perhaps someone beat me to it, but here are ALL of the featured vines, in order of appearance: I won’t hesitate bitch Hi my name is Tre and I have a basketball game tomorrow Whaddup, I’m Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how 2 read Kermit the Frog jumps off building Fr e sh a voca do back at it again at Krispy Kreme There is only one thing worse than a rapist Club Jam (yes a really good book) At least the taco was free I am the Sand Guardian, guardian of the sand Grandma loves ping pong too much If your name is Junior Welcome to Target I’m just cooking pizza Cole Sprouse dress-up game On all levels except physical, I am a Wolf Kid hits ceiling of gym with rope (breaking free) Kid smacked by fly swatter Fuck it up Kenneth (my boy going to school) Um I’m not finished (Tyler the Creator) WE’RE BREAKING FREE SAIL I’m Squidward So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my tiddies So no head? (breaking skateboard) Actually, Megan (I can’t sit anywhere) No off topic questions (Chris Christie) What the fuck, Richard Drop it like it’s hot (its just luke) Bored as shiiiiii Liberian accent (plasma globe) New haircut (Parker Kit Hill) Summertime sadness (chicken) More like hurricane TORTILLA I got an a-bor-tion All Around the World (TheJasminator) When there’s a cutie next to you at a red light Snake licks lollipop Accept yourself, love yourself Be whatever you wanna be Don’t touch Zac’s music (LENARR) Whoever threw that paper, your mom’s a ho Can I please get a waffle? Turn off the flash you fucking moron (Star Wars) Ebony Jenkins (shut up!) Kevin, watch the light dude Horse meditation A girl a dream a clothing hanger Is that a weed? (911 microwave) Helium balloons (floating car) Fireplace fairy I’m your freestyle dance teacher I can’t believe you’ve done this Which way the Quiznos is Impossible paper toss shot Hemtube (dancing with cat) I nurture my skin (Shaq) Why are you running Happy birthday? Thicker than a bowl of oatmeal (courtroom) Farkle falling Fuck you (soda machine) Squash banana (the branch I was holding broke) Take On Me And now my sock is wet (water gun) All I ever wanted was some motherfuckin guala When there’s too much drama at school Two bros chillin in the Hot Tub What’s your name? (ouija board) Chillary Clinton (chillin in Cedar Rapids) Guy drops slurpee (7-Eleven) Girl scared of convertible car Guy who is self-conscious about his lisp (Rice Krispies Treats) Would you like the spider on your hand? Shopping cart crash We actually have the chip reader now I’M A GIRAFFE Dinner with Zayn Malik (Chihuahua eating spaghetti) I HOPE IT’S HELPFUL TO SOMEONE! Peace ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) this gave me such a warm feeling i legit teared up no joke BEAUTY
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Andrew Bogut, Bones, and Confused: Justin McElroy @JustinMcElroy OK, I've been drinking a little bit, it's been a big day, so l'm going to leave vou with the most valuable thing l ever heard 4/26/18, 9:40 PM 67 Retweets 561 Likes Justin McElroy@JustinMcElroy 10m I was at a bar, I think it was Hank's, you know, on 4th Ave? And I was talking with Bob Thompson, who plays piano for Mountain Stage, which is a great public radio show. He was talking about when he was trying to get his career started, playing a demo for a big record label 110 244 Justin McElroy @JustinMcElroy 7m The label rep let the demo finish, and said "This is great, and I can't do anything with you." Bob was, understandably, confused and asked for an explanation 184 Justin McElroy @JustinMcElroy 6m The label rep said "This is great, but I know five people I could call up right now and play this exact demo. Find the thing that only you can do, and then I HAVE to work with you." 267 Justin McElroy @JustinMcElroy 4m Reader, I probably don't know you. But I there is one thing I can say with absolute certainty. I know way deep down in my bones that there is a record only you can play. Figure out what that record is, play it, and they have no choice but to listen O 20 147 503 Justin McElroy @JustinMcElroy 3m It may not be perfect, it may not even be good, but you've GOT to play it, because you're the only one who can 4 198 nightingem:Justin McElroy is one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever seen and his words are so incredibly powerful. I’m crying right now.

nightingem:Justin McElroy is one of the kindest and most genuine people I have ever seen and his words are so incredibly powerful. I’m cryin...

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Advice, Megan, and Respect: sarah maclean @sarahmaclean Reminder that this is a question you should be answering on the regular while writing romance riptidepublishing: operahousebookworm: megan-cutler: iamalwayswriting: suburbanmomromanceclub: File this under “super obvious yet I always seem to forget it.” I don’t write romance (I totally respect people who do, though!) but this is also great writing advice in general! What is preventing the protagonist from achieving their goal? Why can’t these two people be together now? Why can’t the mystery be solved now? Why can’t they overthrow the evil overlord now? If you don’t have a solid answer for these questions, that’s a good indicator that the plot could use some more work. Also test your answer a little bit. If it’s as thin as they’re just refusing to sit down and have a simple conversation, you might want to re-think how things are going. As a beta reader/editor, I tend to ask this question a lot: “Why are they doing it this way when there’s a much easier path available?” That’s not to say that they should take the easier path, because that would usually be boring. Instead, the point is that the question needs an answer–either eliminate the easier path or give them a very clear reason for not taking it. (And if I’m asking the question, that reason isn’t as clear as you think it might be.) I find it very difficult to root for characters who have a sensible option available and just don’t take it. If the only reason is “Because there wouldn’t be a story otherwise,” you haven’t actually found the story yet. And this is why the Big Misunderstanding as a primary plot device is almost universally disliked.

riptidepublishing: operahousebookworm: megan-cutler: iamalwayswriting: suburbanmomromanceclub: File this under “super obvious yet I alway...

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