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inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D : inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
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whiskybravo: bigwordsandsharpedges: ki-adi-money: dr-algernop: un-caffe-per-favore: ginger-s-n-a-p: humanjeff: the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that this counts as the most successful military maneuver of all time: they incurred NEGATIVE CASULTIES “Just give it to me straight-how many did we lose?” “None but we gained a Kyle.” @pipewrench-scratch As opposed to Poland who conscripted a literal bear Imagine transferring into a unit and a bear just walks by carrying a case of explosives. Wojtek was deeply beloved and useful in battle. After the war, his unit gave the bear to the Edinburgh Zoo, where he was frequently visited and given treats by Polish veterans for the rest of his life. @ki-adi-money Imagine being a German soldier defending Monte Cassino, and you peer out of your foxhole, and then you see the Poles have a fucking bear carrying ammunition for them. @feniczoroark : Myko Clelland @DapperHistorian In 1866 Liechtenstein's last military engagement sent 80 men to war. 81 returned, as they had made a friend. whiskybravo: bigwordsandsharpedges: ki-adi-money: dr-algernop: un-caffe-per-favore: ginger-s-n-a-p: humanjeff: the more I think about it, the more I am convinced that this counts as the most successful military maneuver of all time: they incurred NEGATIVE CASULTIES “Just give it to me straight-how many did we lose?” “None but we gained a Kyle.” @pipewrench-scratch As opposed to Poland who conscripted a literal bear Imagine transferring into a unit and a bear just walks by carrying a case of explosives. Wojtek was deeply beloved and useful in battle. After the war, his unit gave the bear to the Edinburgh Zoo, where he was frequently visited and given treats by Polish veterans for the rest of his life. @ki-adi-money Imagine being a German soldier defending Monte Cassino, and you peer out of your foxhole, and then you see the Poles have a fucking bear carrying ammunition for them. @feniczoroark
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goosegoblin: theramseyloft: jurassicjenday: theramseyloft: tinysaurus-rex: iwilltrytobereasonable: cant-hug-every-human: thedeadofflandersfields: Pigeon steals poppies from the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Australian War Memorial, Canberra, Australia in order to build a nest beside a stained glass window. @birdblogwhichisforbirds @snitling EXACTLY This is two pigeons, pigeons nest in bonded pairs (notice the first one is checked and its mate on the nest is barred). Usually they don’t make nests nearly so big but I guess if you have the materials, go for it. The nest is so unusually big because the vast majority is a platform to keep the actual nest (just that tiny ring in the corner around the bird sitting in it) cushioned from the anti bird spikes. This is a work of beautiful defiance. Using the very thing installed to make just a moment’s rest impossible as structural supports for an immovably stable nursery. The symbolism achieved by these pigeons is better than some writers can hope for and I love it! From the nest on the bird repellent spikes to the fact that those spikes are along the stained glass windows of a church, a place associated with sanctuary and compassion. The fact that the nest is made of stolen poppies for remembrance day hits the hardest though. Of the 54 animals to be awarded the Dickin Medal for acts of gallantry during WW2, 32 of them were pigeons. These were messengers who flew through battlefields and across borders, many of whom were killed or severely injured by enemy forces including gunfire and trained falcons. Many of their achievements saved the lives of hundreds of soldiers, and yet now their descendants are faces with anti-bird spikes, shooting and poisoning in an attempt to rid the cities from the rats with wings. I love this picture because it feels like they’re taking back just a little bit of that credit owed to them.  Reblogging for this beautiful addition. [ID: three colour photographs. The first shows a pigeon holding a fake poppy in its teeth, standing on a marble surface. The second shows a nest made of hundreds of fake poppies, cushioning a sitting pigeon from the anti-bird spikes below. The final photo is a zoomed-out picture of the nest, showing many stained glass windows surrounding it.] : goosegoblin: theramseyloft: jurassicjenday: theramseyloft: tinysaurus-rex: iwilltrytobereasonable: cant-hug-every-human: thedeadofflandersfields: Pigeon steals poppies from the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Australian War Memorial, Canberra, Australia in order to build a nest beside a stained glass window. @birdblogwhichisforbirds @snitling EXACTLY This is two pigeons, pigeons nest in bonded pairs (notice the first one is checked and its mate on the nest is barred). Usually they don’t make nests nearly so big but I guess if you have the materials, go for it. The nest is so unusually big because the vast majority is a platform to keep the actual nest (just that tiny ring in the corner around the bird sitting in it) cushioned from the anti bird spikes. This is a work of beautiful defiance. Using the very thing installed to make just a moment’s rest impossible as structural supports for an immovably stable nursery. The symbolism achieved by these pigeons is better than some writers can hope for and I love it! From the nest on the bird repellent spikes to the fact that those spikes are along the stained glass windows of a church, a place associated with sanctuary and compassion. The fact that the nest is made of stolen poppies for remembrance day hits the hardest though. Of the 54 animals to be awarded the Dickin Medal for acts of gallantry during WW2, 32 of them were pigeons. These were messengers who flew through battlefields and across borders, many of whom were killed or severely injured by enemy forces including gunfire and trained falcons. Many of their achievements saved the lives of hundreds of soldiers, and yet now their descendants are faces with anti-bird spikes, shooting and poisoning in an attempt to rid the cities from the rats with wings. I love this picture because it feels like they’re taking back just a little bit of that credit owed to them.  Reblogging for this beautiful addition. [ID: three colour photographs. The first shows a pigeon holding a fake poppy in its teeth, standing on a marble surface. The second shows a nest made of hundreds of fake poppies, cushioning a sitting pigeon from the anti-bird spikes below. The final photo is a zoomed-out picture of the nest, showing many stained glass windows surrounding it.]

goosegoblin: theramseyloft: jurassicjenday: theramseyloft: tinysaurus-rex: iwilltrytobereasonable: cant-hug-every-human: thedeado...

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