🔥 Popular | Latest

Ass, Broly, and Drinking: Niggas turn into goku when they around a female ez- e bee I can’t hang with homies who have no type of social intelligence. We all know this dude. He get around girls and his whole demeanor changes. The little bit of sauce he has accumulated has dried up in the pan and started a house fire. This man will open Pandora’s box with the worse timing. I guarantee you if this is your wing man don’t expect to get cheeks to clap for you. This was my friend Patrick. This Boy would start talking about topics that don’t need to be talked about when in front of girls. You could be trying to put him on to the best pussy the world has to offer, he would come up with a way to ruin it. We at a kick back playing uno. The girls were drinking and so the mood was mellow. I tried to get my boy Patrick with the girl who was there. Girls who rock a septum piercing give bomb head. Add a choker and that’s plus +25 for the pussy and -15 in loyalty because she won’t text back. She’s actually digging him but he’s finding every way to make the situation awkward. The girl who hosted us had a cat. You would think he would pet the cat when it came along or ignore it? Here he come “remember the time I choked a cat bro?”. Like why is this necessary to know right now? Is this your way of saying that you beat the pussy up? I quickly change the topic of discussion. Patrick tryna impress the girl by tryna son me. He put his hand on my head and tells me to get him some juice. That’s a fight in the hood. Patrick was dead tryna fight me. I couldn’t tell you how we manage to turn this girl living room into the cell game arena fighting over foolishness. The host came back downstairs with her brother and he whooped both our ass. I have deleted scenes of the Broly vs Goku and vegeta. I can’t trust niggas named Patrick. Spongebob tryna set niggas up.
Save
Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally anything I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell that’s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didn’t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. That’s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. I’m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ain’t even blink. I’m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didn’t have dog food. He wasn’t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs can’t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. I’m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while I’m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.
Save