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Facts, Fanfiction, and Harry Potter: Most Common Sentences By Each Author SUZANNE COLLINS Hunger Games Series STEPHENIE MEYER Twilight Series J.K. ROWLING Harry Potter Series My name is Katniss Everdeen. I don't know. I shake my head. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. Now I wish I had. I swallowed hard. He hesitates. I'm not really surprised. Something is wrong. Isighed. He sighed. I shrugged. frowned. He chuckled. I laughed. He shrugged I flinched. I took a deep breath. He didn't answer Nothing happened. Harry looked around. Harry stared. He waited. Harry said nothing They looked at each other. Harry blinked. He looked around. Something he didn't have last time. He stood up. Created by OBenBlatt of Slate.com Source: Harry Poeter 1-7, Hunger Games 1-3, Twilight 1-4 december-has-risen: imaginarycircus: jennlferlawrence: frostingpeetaswounds: i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong” the twilight one is like abstract poetry They all kind of read like weird little stories in and of themselves. HG is about an amnesia victim trying to recall the facts people have told her about herself, but which she doesn’t remember. Twilight is a love story about two mimes. And Harry Potter is the tragic story of boy whom absolutely nothing happens to. if you read it all three horizontally it sounds like a fanfiction cross over between katniss and harry and the author is making them have a really awkward first meeting

december-has-risen: imaginarycircus: jennlferlawrence: frostingpeetaswounds: i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wr...

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Facts, Fanfiction, and Harry Potter: Most Common Sentences By Each Author SUZANNE COLLINS Hunger Games Series STEPHENIE MEYER Twilight Series J.K. ROWLING Harry Potter Series My name is Katniss Everdeen. I don't know. I shake my head. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. Now I wish I had. I swallowed hard. He hesitates. I'm not really surprised. Something is wrong. Isighed. He sighed. I shrugged. frowned. He chuckled. I laughed. He shrugged I flinched. I took a deep breath. He didn't answer Nothing happened. Harry looked around. Harry stared. He waited. Harry said nothing They looked at each other. Harry blinked. He looked around. Something he didn't have last time. He stood up. Created by OBenBlatt of Slate.com Source: Harry Poeter 1-7, Hunger Games 1-3, Twilight 1-4 december-has-risen: imaginarycircus: jennlferlawrence: frostingpeetaswounds: i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong” the twilight one is like abstract poetry They all kind of read like weird little stories in and of themselves. HG is about an amnesia victim trying to recall the facts people have told her about herself, but which she doesn’t remember. Twilight is a love story about two mimes. And Harry Potter is the tragic story of boy whom absolutely nothing happens to. if you read it all three horizontally it sounds like a fanfiction cross over between katniss and harry and the author is making them have a really awkward first meeting

december-has-risen: imaginarycircus: jennlferlawrence: frostingpeetaswounds: i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is w...

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Old Man, Saw, and Tumblr: Once, when I was a Kid, l took an umbrella, ran about halfway up my porch steps, opened it up, and jumped down. And I kept doing this, thinking Iwould fly away, or at least be carried by the wind. Then, all of a sudden, busy running and jumping, I heard laughter. I stopped and saw my neighbor, but before l could be embarrassed, he kindly chuckled, and said it didn't work, he tried it too when he was a kid. He was an old man, and l, as a kid, was just so surprised that, without any context, he knew exactly what I was doing awesomacious: A childhood memory involving an umbrella

awesomacious: A childhood memory involving an umbrella

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Old Man, Saw, and Work: Once, when I was a Kid, l took an umbrella, ran about halfway up my porch steps, opened it up, and jumped down. And I kept doing this, thinking Iwould fly away, or at least be carried by the wind. Then, all of a sudden, busy running and jumping, I heard laughter. I stopped and saw my neighbor, but before l could be embarrassed, he kindly chuckled, and said it didn't work, he tried it too when he was a kid. He was an old man, and l, as a kid, was just so surprised that, without any context, he knew exactly what I was doing A childhood memory involving an umbrella

A childhood memory involving an umbrella

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Beautiful, Nasty, and Respect: OTHER WAYS TO SAY.. 0 sad happy enjoyable excellent awful pleasurable amazing thoughtful onderfulnaughty courteous ov likeable pleasing gracious congenial cordial admirable splendid considerate stupendous wretched depressedcheerful miserable unhappyjoyful foriorn delighted pleased pleasant marvelous exceptional nasty fantastic dreadful ecstatic content amused thrilled sorrowful outstanding terrible unpleasant downcast ble tearful somber laughed sa admire approve commented huge chuckled roared ed gigantic enormous remarked miniature teeny itsy-bitsy miniscule treasure fancy stated exclaimed massive whooped snickered guffawed shrieked appreciate shouted respect colossal whlspered Immense announced bulky responded hefty cackled bellowed chortled microscopic tremendous skimpy explained looked scared bolted strolled sauntered beautiful gorgeous appealing glanced examined frightened spooked horrified startled marched observed peeked rushed galloped hustled skipped raced dashed exquisite attractive petrified anxious strutted shuffled cre treaded nt watched handsome inspected aghast stunning studied noticed alarmed terrified shaken αι ra

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Obama, Target, and Tumblr: nekozneko: obama chuckled [twitter] | [dA]

nekozneko: obama chuckled [twitter] | [dA]

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Dude, Friends, and Funny: torisoulphoenix: noblerosee: themasterpupil: whotfismoose: maybe-itdoesntmatterr: saito-91: trilligan-island: adorethiswhore: cartnsncreal: I guess this is why straight men don’t like to talk about their issues with friends because it always turns into a joke. this absolutely broke my heart. #BlackMentalHealthMatters Smh It’s Always A Joke This why I can’t fuck with a lot of people cause it’s always just a joke Dude is legit in tears and his “friends” are laughing in his face… I’m done Yea tht shit not funny Yeah I remember back when I first saw this. I chuckled for a sec and was like…wait a min he’s serious, this isn’t funny at all. It’s real man found this in the thread. glad to hear he’s doing better. Ok, then, glad he’s ok. Justice for all sexual assault victims.

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Fashion, Food, and Fucking: rockatransky: on occasion, i browse the clearance racks at overpriced hipster-y boutiques cause from time to time you can find amazing deals, but being in Rich People Places always makes me a little nervous- and today when i was picking up a layaway from one of these shops, my nerves resulted in a story the shopkeepers are probably gonna be telling for quite a while. i'd just come from the feed store for lizard food (ie: bugs), and it was like 95F out so they were slowly being smothered to death in my backpack. so when the clerk, who i'd overheard was only on her second day working there, gave me my fancy sundress in a bag way too big for it, i pulled out two dozen crickets in a plastic bag and a tub full of mealworms from my pack and set them gently on the bag so they could breathe better till i got home. this girl's eyes go wide and she looks imploringly back at the equally startled-looking manager helping her through the transaction, and i realize that this might look a little weird to folks who aren't reptile keepers. so, instead of doing the logical thing and explaining that i'm feeding leopard geckos, i sorta chuckled and shrugged apologetically, and just said "dinner, y'know?" for the briefest of moments, there was an awkward silence so sweaty and suffocating you could drown in it, and then, in true daytime comedy fashion, the fucking crickets started chirping so i guess i'm never going back there ever again. Welp, time to go hide under a rock with the lizards

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Iphone, Meme, and Phone: my iPhone was stolen and every time they take a picture it gets uploaded to my iCloud. if u know who this is please help IG: @mememang @meme_mang That man has an rpg, you're not getting your phone back sorry but i chuckled

sorry but i chuckled

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Bad, Friends, and Funny: THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL (Link to story) Everyone loves the first day of school right? New year, new classes, new friends. It's a day full of potential and hope, before all the dreary depressions of reality show up to ruin all the fun I like the first day of school for a different reason, though. You see, I have a sort of power. When I look at people, I can...sense a sort of aura around them. A colored outline based on how long that person has to live Most everyone l meet around my age is surrounded by a solid green hue, which means they have plenty of time left A fair amount of them have a yellow orangish tinge to their auras, which tends to mean a car crash or some other tragedy. Anything that takes people "before their time" as they say The real fun is when the auras venture into the red end of the spectrum though. Every now and again l'll see someone who's basically a walking stoplight. Those are the ones who get murdered or kill themselves. It's such a rush to see them and know their time is numbered. With that in mind, I always get to class very early so l can scout out my classmates' fates. The first kid who walked in was basically radiating red. I chuckled to myself. Too damn bad, bro. But as people kept walking in, they all had the same intense glow. I finally caught a glimpse of my rose- tinted reflection in the window, but l was too stunned to move. Our professor stepped in and locked the door, his aura a sickening shade of reen funny ny.co Woah I was not ready

Woah I was not ready

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Omg, Tumblr, and Blog: E 35O MI SCUZI 99009 omg-humor:Was mad that I got cut off. Read the license plate and chuckled

omg-humor:Was mad that I got cut off. Read the license plate and chuckled

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Mad, Got, and License Plate: E 35O MI SCUZI 99009 Was mad that I got cut off. Read the license plate and chuckled

Was mad that I got cut off. Read the license plate and chuckled

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Mad, Got, and License Plate: E 35O 4 MATIC MI SCUZI Was mad that I got cut off. Read the license plate and chuckled

Was mad that I got cut off. Read the license plate and chuckled

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Target, Tumblr, and Blog: Mr. Turtleneck Sweater Guy took a sip from his instant coffee and looked out the window. It finally hit him. It's pronounced Totino's NOT Tostino's. He chuckled softly and stared into the rain totinos: Don’t be Mr. Turtleneck Sweater Guy.

totinos: Don’t be Mr. Turtleneck Sweater Guy.

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America, Apparently, and Baked: how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected gunvolt im going to have a stroke prideling Instead try Person A: You know... the thing Person B: The "thing"? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! "mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda... THE FISHING ROD artykyn As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents l have witnessed .Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity e Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says ...Ah.... that must be a Russian one then...." . Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English. e Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word "préservatifes." Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms . Defined a slang term for me....... with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak. . Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said "I don't know" and turned to me and asked "ls there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?" and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back . Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned "How stressful!" into "What stressing! Bilingual characters are great but if you're going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it's usually 10x funnier than "Ooops it's hard to switch back. s drearncatcher37 Source gunvolt 287,537 notes May 16th, 2017 Bilingual

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America, Apparently, and Baked: mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said. "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected <a href="http://artykyn.tumblr.com/post/160134767689/prideling-gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">artykyn</a>:<blockquote> <a href="http://prideling.tumblr.com/post/156129759362/gunvolt-im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">prideling</a>: <blockquote> <a href="https://gunvolt.tumblr.com/post/156087107428/im-going-to-have-a-stroke" class="tumblr_blog">gunvolt</a>: <blockquote>im going to have a stroke</blockquote> Instead try… Person A: You know… the thing Person B: The “thing”? Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD </blockquote> As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed: <ul><li>Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.</li></ul><ul><li>Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”</li></ul><ul><li>Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.</li></ul><ul><li>Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.</li></ul><ul><li>Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.</li></ul><ul><li>Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.</li></ul><ul><li>Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!” </li></ul>Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.” </blockquote>

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A Dream, Fucking, and God: mindfulwrath honestly "i'll do whatever you want" "then perish" is the single most powerful exchange possible in the english language and it's from some bizarre "hewwo" obama rp falling-towers And there was that other post where someone dreamt that Obama said "violence for violence is the rule of beasts" like what is it about Obama that makes people come up with such raw fucking dialogue for him twofingerswhiskey my mother had a dream where he lived in the forest and she had a cigarette with him and he said "to become god is the loneliest achievement of them all" and put it out and walked into the mist and i've never fucking forgotten that wagecucks Obama chuckled, "You Mean the Chaos Emeralds?" Dream Obama ( Knuckles)

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Bones, Dinosaur, and Jurassic Park: [- KosherHam 693 points an hour ago I'm probably late to this party- but I used to be married. That's no longer the case, so it goes. Anyways, I was getting dinosaur stuff for our boy, and his mother said something along the lines of "I don't like dinosaurs and am happy they are not real." I chuckled, thinking she meant she is relieved her life is not like Jurassic Park, eing chased by these giant predators. Nope. Turned out she believes dinosaurs never walked this earth. I had known her for 6 solid years, and this completely blew me away, side swiping me with horror.... She thinks people are guessing when the put partial bones together, and just fabricate these creatures.. I'm still affected by this- even years later. When I go on dates, there is a litmus test now. I ask what her stance stance is on dinosaurs every first date. Not making that mistake again. permalink save report give gold reply pearswhy i don't like dinosaurs and am happy they are not real Source: pearswhy 111,040 notes This gave me some serious Ross Geller vibes 😂

This gave me some serious Ross Geller vibes 😂

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Facts, Harry Potter, and Head: Most Common Sentences By Each Author STEPHENIE MEYER T ight Series J.K. ROWLING Hery Potter Sen SUZANNE COLLINS My nameis Katniss Everdeen, ldon't know I shake my head. 1 am seventeen years old My home is District 12. Nowl wishIhad t swallowed hard He hesitates I'm not realy surprised. Something is wrong. l sighed He sighed. I shrugged l frowned He chuckled llaughed. He shrugged. lflinched. Itook a deep breath, He didn't answer, Nothing happened. Harry looked around Harry stared He waited. Harry said nothing. They looked at each other. Harry blinked. He looked around Something he didn't have last time. He stood up Jennifer!awrence the twilight one is like abstract poetry imaginarycircus They all kind of read like weird little stories in and of themselves. HG is about an amnesia victim trying to recall the facts people have told her about herself, but which she doesn't remember. Twilight is a love story about two mimes. And Harry Potter is the tragic story of boy whom absolutely nothing happens to. Watching high school musical 3 after graduating is such a different experience then before I'm in tears my dudes

Watching high school musical 3 after graduating is such a different experience then before I'm in tears my dudes

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Memes, 🤖, and Starwars: That's not regulation. Ikinda like it! The only part of rebels I chuckled at 😂 starwars

The only part of rebels I chuckled at 😂 starwars

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Ironic, Obama, and Dictionary: mintycoolnessisrelevant I've got a new word for fanfic writers to use, brought to you by todays word of the day: Dictionary.com WORD OF THE DAY MARCH 17. 2017 smaragdine smaraadine adjective [smuh-RAG-din] 1. emerald-green in color. 2. of or relating to emeralds. example sentence: she gazed into his smaragdine orbs mmilhouse obama chuckled. "you mean the chaos smaragdines?" I'm about to crumch on some sünchi.

I'm about to crumch on some sünchi.

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Definitely, Doctor, and Memes: JuLY H,2017 So.. ARE YOuR PARENTS TOURE LUCKY ONE oF MYSo ANYWAY, YOUR HORMmONE SUPPORTIVE? 기 PATIENTS FATHER TRIED TO LEVELS-ARE GREAT FOR A 8I0MALE. TYPE WHEN SHE TPE CAME OUT GREAT. HEH HEH 回instagram.co nuPando Tco nic困UPandOUTcom ic.tumblr.come euPanduTco nic WW UPANDOUTCOMIC M July 14th, 2017. Ahhhhhhh yes, going to the doctor is fun. He definitely not awful and doesn’t make me feel othered at all. He chuckled as if that were just some weird-fun anecdote. I was horrified. If you enjoy my work and would like to help support my transition, maybe consider my patreon? Link in bio! :)

July 14th, 2017. Ahhhhhhh yes, going to the doctor is fun. He definitely not awful and doesn’t make me feel othered at all. He chuckled as i...

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America, Apparently, and Bad: mothman @LEVKAWA how to tell when a bilingual character was not written by a bilingual person 101 "Hola ¿Qué pasa?" Lance said. "Uh...what?" "Ah, sorry. It's hard to switch back sometimes. What's up?" He corrected kalidels: misdiagnosed-ghost: rrojasandribbons: cobaltmoony: silentwalrus1: justgot1: cricketcat9: artykyn: prideling: gunvolt: im going to have a stroke Instead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING ROD As someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed: Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!” Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.” I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language; I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix. There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that. From my bilingual parents: - Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…” - Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.” - Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.” - Swears in English don’t count. - Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid. - Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.” - Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.” - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun. самолет - самолетас - самолетасы - when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired - speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise bonus: - keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over - using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirks all of the above OMG. THIS. -switching from Romanes to English and forgetting that articles exist because Romanes doesn’t always use them-starting to say a word in one language and trying to smoothly transition it to another language: n…oooooo, thank you is probably my most common-using English profanity when speaking Romanes-using Romanes profanity when speaking English.. that’s how you know I am angry-the over extension of the word “not” in English that comes out something like this; “I have not cash on me”.-counting in my head in Romanes always, but math always in English, which might explain my bad math skills-drunk accents.. I have a heavy accent when drunk.. and only when drunk-substituting Romani words when trying to speak in Serbian even when the other speaker is bilingual in English-aspirating English phonemes that are not meant to be aspirated -accidentally pronouncing the English “i” sounds as “ee”.. I have a dog named Snickers and everyone thinks her name is Sneakers-describing objects in detail, but forgetting the actual name of it in your target language; dzhanes, ‘odaji glazhuni.. thaj zhamija si ‘oda.. ejjjjj.. dikhes perdal oda.. ejjjj.. ekh… feljastra! Ekh feljastra! -”the thing” in both languages.. -except e buki also means “the work”, and o kasavo mean “such”, or “like this”, so in English I mean to say “the thing”, but I really say “the this, you know, this, this, this, the thingy.” But, it sounds like, “da dis, you know, dis, dis, dis, da tingy.”-subject verb agreement doesn’t exist when switching languages; ^^see above.. that was not an intentional mistake-“is mine” to mean “I have”; “Dog is mine” = “I have a dog” I could keep going.. but, yea, bilingual quirks are waaaay better and funnier when you actually understand how they work and the grammar quirks of both target languages. I always fucking forget the word “chess”???? And I sit there saying шахматы over and over to myself until I finally remember it in English. blunders also happen when they have to note down something real quick or take lectures! my notes when I was in Italy for my exchange year are incomprehensible to basically everyone lmao it’s a huge jumble of thai, english, and italian. because sometimes it’s easier to just write down a concept in english rather than have to translate it back to your native language! also while I was there I spent a day with an american friend and when we were saying goodbye to each other this literally happened: “well have a safe trip home!! I’ll see you….. um…. dopo… dopo.. dopo.. LATER! LATER!! I’LL SEE YOU LATER”

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Girls, Memes, and Petty: How girls see guys 5'11.5" 6' 5'11' I chuckled at this🙊😂🤣😩💀♻FOLLOW👉🏼@1eye_but_icu 👈🏼 Savage Petty NoManners NoChill

I chuckled at this🙊😂🤣😩💀♻FOLLOW👉🏼@1eye_but_icu 👈🏼 Savage Petty NoManners NoChill

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Driving, Head, and Memes: send your knees through your eye sockets if the airbag is deployed. Police are sharing this photo in hopes of spreading awareness of safety while driving. Commentawards Joe Felosi I wasn't worried. My ex used to ride with her feet on my windshield which sat a little higher. If the airbags deployed it would only thrust her leg up and over her head, a position she was no stranger to. August 24, 2016 Edited Like 28K Bopin I chuckled

I chuckled

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Memes, Scream, and 🤖: When you're taking a shit at school and then you hear gunshots and screaming Lunc This gave me a good chuckle. -Johnny

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Hayden Christensen, Lightsaber, and Memes: Like Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen also made lightsaber noises the first time he was handed the prop in rehearsals. After chuckling at him, George Lucas explained that it was the sound effects team who were in charge of making the noises. Fact #164 @Starwarsfacts George Lucas mugging Hayden for making lightsaber sounds effects. starwarsfacts

George Lucas mugging Hayden for making lightsaber sounds effects. starwarsfacts

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Memes, Phone, and Siri: Just asked Siri, "Surely it's not going to rain today?" She said "It will, and don't call me Shirley" Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode Oldie but still makes me chuckle

Oldie but still makes me chuckle

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Blockbuster, Memes, and Good: I just got carded atthe liquor store. Whenl set my keys down on the counterto get my ID out, the guy behind the register chuckled then said, "Never mind, that card is good enough. Blockbuster BLOCKBUSTER TICKET

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Blockbuster, Memes, and Good: I just got carded atthe liquor store. Whenl set my keys down on the counterto get my ID out, the guy behind the register chuckled then said, "Never mind, that card is good enough. Blockbuster BLOCKBUSTER TICKET

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Dr. Evil , Frat Boy, and Memes: Factsforgreys Fact 565 Alex's aliases include: "Alexander Michael Evans" "(Dr.) Evil Spawn", "Dr. Hotty "Captain of the Vagina Squad", "Frat boy (bitch)", "Mother Teresa "Sinatra", "Boy Wonder "Chuckles", "Dr. Doucheface", "Dr. Jr. Butthole "Little Butthole "Mr. Where's The Cabbage Patch", and "Pig Boy" Fact 565😱 Alex's aliases include: "Alexander Michael Evans", "(Dr.) Evil Spawn", "Dr. Hotty", "Captain of the Vagina Squad", "Frat Boy (Bitch)", "Mother Theresa", "Sinatra", "Boy Wonder", "Chuckles", "Dr. Doucheface", "Dr. Jr. Butthole", "Little Butthole", "Mr. Where's The Cabbage Patch", and "Pig Boy". — factsforgreys_justin greys greysanatomy justinchambers alexkarev izzex jolex shondaland abc ga tgit like facts likeforlike like4like dancemoms

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Blockbuster, Memes, and Liquor Store: just got carded atthe liquor store. When set my keys down on the counterto get my ID out, the guy behind the register chuckled,then said, "Never mind, that card is good enough. Blockbuster BLOCKBUSTER TICKET

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Hipster, Memes, and Rapunzel: the smokins molder: guilty hipster. dann d22 guilty hipster l have a headcanon that the Queen from Tangled is a huge bookworm like her daughter Rapunzel and that books are (or were) her escape. For eighteen years, her books distracted her from the pain of losing her only child. One step further: What if she also read stories to the children at orphanages because she wanted the feeling of reading to a child? Then one day a little boy said how much he loved the Tales of Flynnigan Rider. And she gave him that book because he was so sweet. He was so grateful that he promised that one day he would pay her back. And he did. This made me all warm and fuzzy. Thanks guys. -chuckles-

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Memes, 🤖, and Zero Day: When someone comes up to you at work and asks if you're working hard or hardly working I HOPE ALL THE BAD THINGS IN LIFE @comfy sweaters HAPPEN TO YOU AND NOBODY ELSE BUT YOU That sorry excuse for a joke should have been shot down 80 years ago and somehow it's still here to this day getting charity chuckles and brightening zero days

That sorry excuse for a joke should have been shot down 80 years ago and somehow it's still here to this day getting charity chuckles and br...

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Memes, Ukraine, and They Live: I love your accent., where are you from? Ukraine. How'd you know? I chuckle at this meme. My mother notices me laughing to myself. "What's so funny?" she asks. What a very good question mother. Maybe the fact that our very existence is a time limit that can end at any moment and we are only alive just to die alone and a very possible painful death. Maybe it's the fact that over thousands of years human beings have only managed to slaughter each other blindly and cause mortal harm to the very rock they live on. Maybe it's the fact we have no clear indication of where our future leads and it shakes us to the core and we only get more anxious as we wonder whether we will succeed or fail ultimately. Yes, that's what's funny. Instead of saying all of this to my Mother's feeble brain, I simply say: "It's a meme Mom, you wouldn't understand."

I chuckle at this meme. My mother notices me laughing to myself. "What's so funny?" she asks. What a very good question mother. Maybe the fa...

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Memes, 🤖, and Mcu: @agentsof marvel (CHUCKLES) Yeah eep it for a sec its a good look on you It is a good ook on me. GRUN 😉 . . . . . . . . . [ captainamericacivilwar doctorstrange thor spiderman avengers hulk robertdowneyjr blackpanther steverogers tonystark mcu marvel peterparker rdj theavengers gotg marvelcomics batman avengersassemble chrisevans civilwar captainamerica ironman deadpool starlord blackwidow groot scarletwitch wintersoldier buckybarnes ]

😉 . . . . . . . . . [ captainamericacivilwar doctorstrange thor spiderman avengers hulk robertdowneyjr blackpanther steverogers tonystark mc...

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Funny, Always Sunny, and Danny Devito: It's always sunny in Nagasaki dave IG: davie The Asian Danny Devito gives me life and a big chuckle...

The Asian Danny Devito gives me life and a big chuckle...

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Blockbuster, Memes, and 🤖: I just gotcarded attheliquor store. Wheni set my keys down on the counter to get my ID out, the guy behind the register chuckled, then said, "Never mind, that Blockbuster card is good enough. BLOCKBUSTER TICKET Movie A Hahahahaha!! Sad, but so true!!!

Hahahahaha!! Sad, but so true!!!

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Memes, Paradox, and 🤖: 06 1051 002 57% K Messages Bundy Contact K then how bout this Batman vs God Batman, Fucking easily Yea okay lol Batman would explain to God that an omniscient being's power is absolute By definition, God literally knows everything (past present, future) and can do anything. He's omniscient So then Batman would challenge God to create information which God didn't know beforehand. If God knows all, how can he create something he doesn't know. If he can do all, why can't he do this task, God would realize omniscience is a paradox and that he actually doesn't exist. He's just Alfred in a fake white beard. They both chuckle as Batman backflips to his computer to do science. Fuck you. IMessage Send Goddamn SCIENCE, Bitches! ~TGB

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Condom, Lurking, and Memes: When you give your friend a broken condom and your mom gets pregnant Bouta repost my fav stories just cause. - My Mom enters my room. "Hi sweetie, whatchu up to?" "Nothing much Mom, just reading." "Oh? And whys that?" "Because I like to read..." "Well why dont you go outside?" "Mom we live in NY, its -3 and its snowing." "Well play video games then." "Why dont you want me to read?" "Do you even have a girlfriend?" "MOM!" She laughs. "No girl wants a boy that reads, dear." "Well why not?" "Bitches just want dick. Why do you think I married your Dad? He didn't even graduate highschool!" "What..." "How you gonna get pussy if you're reading ya fucking nerd?" "Mom I dont-" "Hell even the cat is getting dicked down by the strays outside. Meanwhile you're reading about rocks." "Mom knowledge is power." "Fuck knowledge go get ya dick wet." She chuckles and closes my door. Maybe she was right. It was time to get my dick wet. I followed our cat outside one night and found the spot where all the strays lurked. I spotted one that was the cleanest and snatched it up before it could get away. "Time to get my dick wet." I say to myself.

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Spaghetti, Dank Memes, and Shell: ooo Optus F 1:03 am 21% Sam Pears Sam Pears Liked since 21 September 2015 12:32 am local time MON 10:22 PM hey darts, big fan thought i'd share my story... on a monday night it's my job to cook dinner for the family (my specialty is spaghetti bol). so tonight i was gonna make tacos so i walked into the living room: me: hey what kind of tacos do you guys want tonight? soft or hard? brother: soft mum: hard me: porque no los dos hahahhaha we all had a chuckle, but yea i just made the soft ones coz i like them better and it's too much effort to cook both shells 1:01 AM Type a message

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Memes, 🤖, and Tails: TODAY IS THE DAY, ICAN FEEL IT TODAY I WILL CATCH THAT TAIL tal advantage In need of some motivation to get you through the last Monday of January? Here's one that made us chuckle at Drontal and Advantage HQ 😂

In need of some motivation to get you through the last Monday of January? Here's one that made us chuckle at Drontal and Advantage HQ 😂

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Blockbuster, Memes, and Liquor Store: just got carded atthe liquor store. When I set my keys down on the counterto get my ID out, the guy behind the register chuckled, then said, "Never mind that Blockbuster card is good enough. BLOCKBUSTER TICKET

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Blockbuster, Memes, and Liquor Store: just got carded atthe liquor store. When I set my keys down on the counterto get my ID out, the guy behind the register chuckled, then said, "Never mind that Blockbuster card is good enough. BLOCKBUSTER TICKET

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Memes, 🤖, and Chuckle: This is too lit LMAO @YABOYROSHI Cバードスタジオ集英社"c.「2015ドラゴン·!ルZ)製作委員会 yaboyroshi I chuckled a bit watching this....

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Funny, Tribunal, and Chuckle: STAR TRIBUNE A SUGGeSTION: Good for a chuckle

Good for a chuckle

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Memes, Brazzers, and 🤖: BRAZZERS chuckles

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Memes, 🤖, and Chuckle: LET. ME SEE YOU ONE TWO STEEEEEEEEEEPPP PPPPPP!!! Couldn't tell u why this makes me chuckle 😂😩

Couldn't tell u why this makes me chuckle 😂😩

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Memes, Laughter, and 🤖: snorlaxatives the bye bye man *about to kill me me: oh no!! someone please help!! the b- *starts chuckling the bye b- *chuckling increases the bye bye man *erupts into laughter at his stupid ass name you'd think they'd pick an actual good-scary name for him considering his name is such a big part of the film like

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Chihuahua, Memes, and Jared: At Jared's Autograph Session Me I named my dog Moose Jared chuckles Me Jared Big dog? Me: Chihuahua Jared *chokes on food

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