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Books, Bored, and Call Me Maybe: Medieval Village and Bored Assholes uck stome some background: I work weekends at a small medieval village about an hour outside of town. We're not hugely popular, but we always have at least 30-50 people in the village, and it's always* the same types of people: the enthusiastic little kids in costumes, the high teenagers, the adult cosplayers the newlyweds, and the lonely bored men who want nothing more than the rush of catching you on something historically inaccurate. T play the scribe and run the bookshop, because l can do calligraphy and I know some Latin. it's primarily a store though, and people are supposed to buy books or calligraphy commissions. Mostlye just want me to write their name fancy. It's pretty straightforward But one day this guy comes wandering in with this sneer and I just know he's gonna be a dick. give him my usual scripted welcome, and out of the gate he asks how it's historically accurate for the town scribe to be a woman I have an answer prepared, saying something about my father keeping the ledgers and never having a son, so he taught me my letters and sent me to the local priest to learn my Latin. He asks a handful more uncomfortable obnoxious questions and all I can think is T'm on minimum wage to the cent, I'm stuffed into a starched frock, and l'm clearly just a local teenager" but l keep smiling and tolerating it.T answer all of his questions correctly until bored asshole (BA): "So if you learned your Latin from a priest I'm sure you can say an authentic medieval latin prayer for me now?" and I kinda freeze, because l'm Jewish and don't know any Christian prayers at all, and the only Latin I can remember was from a class project where we translated pop songs into various languages me: "eho te convenivi tamquam et hic furor est sed hic numerus meus est ita invoca me fortasse" BA is finally shut up and satisfies and leaves (without buying anything) and content not knowing that the blessing was the chorus of Call Me Maybe The most heartfelt prayer in any language
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