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Alive, Bored, and Club: PRAY FOR THE WICKE RP STARTER MEME <p><a href="http://jeanbeanmemes.tumblr.com/post/175161423268/various-lyrics-from-the-panic-at-the-disco-album" class="tumblr_blog">jeanbeanmemes</a>:</p><blockquote> <p> <small><i>Various lyrics from the Panic! At The Disco album. Feel free to change anything to adapt better for RP purposes. This is part two of the lyrics</i><i>! </i><b><i>Some lyrics may be triggering.</i></b></small></p> <h2><b>Dancing’s Not A Crime</b></h2> <ul><li><small>I’m a moon-walker. I’m like MJ up in the clouds.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I know it sounds awkward.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m filthy as charged.<br/></small></li> <li><small>You’re a sweet talker but darlin’ whatcha gonna say now?<br/></small></li> <li><small>The midnight marauders, the higher never come down.</small></li> <li><small>You can’t take me anywhere.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m still uninvited, I’m still gonna light it.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m going insane and I don’t care.</small></li> <li><small>Dancing, dancing, dancing’s not a crime unless you do it without me.</small></li> <li><small>If you’re night crawlin’ with him, I won’t take it lying down.</small></li> <li><small>I’ve got a few lawyers, and you’re guilty as charged, guilty as charged</small></li> <li><small>We could be waltzin’, but darlin’ don’t be throwing shade now.</small></li> <li><small>Don’t call me Saint California if you’re at another altar.</small></li> <li><small>Just gimme your vows.</small></li> </ul><h2><b>One Of The Drunks</b></h2> <ul><li><small>Orange juice, pour out half the carton. Grey Goose, pour it, get it started.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Good times, remedy your sorrows.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Baptize, don’t worry ‘bout tomorrow.</small></li> <li><small>Shake it up, shake it up. <br/></small></li> <li><small>Now it’s time to dive in.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Share a cup, share a cup.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Now you’re screwdriving.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Every weekend with your friends, every weekday when it ends.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Damn, it’s all good, I guess.</small></li> <li><small>This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Searching for a new high, high as the sun, uncomfortably numb.<br/></small></li> <li><small>This is what it feels like when you become one of the drunks. Welcome to the club!</small></li> <li><small>Never dry, every day you’re thirsty.</small></li> <li><small>Bourbon high, sip it till you’re tipsy.</small></li> <li><small>Night’s young, searching for a feeling.</small></li> <li><small>Big fun, dancing with the demons.</small></li> <li><small>Holy Spirit grips you like a pistol.</small></li> </ul><h2><b>The Overpass</b></h2> <ul><li><small>Let me hear you say something.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m sorry to get sentimental tonight.<br/></small></li> <li><small>That perfume lingers in your hair.<br/></small></li> <li><small>It’s just that everything reminds me of things I thought I shouldn’t have to see again. <br/></small></li> <li><small>See the thing is I’m so sorry to say you need me, don’t you?<br/></small></li> <li><small>Someone still loves you</small></li> <li><small>Meet me at the overpass.</small></li> <li><small>Sketchy girls and lipstick boys, troubled love and high speed noise.</small></li> <li><small>I know you wanna meet me at the overpass.</small></li> <li><small>Tiny bottles of shit wine in a tin can that climbs.<br/></small></li> <li> <small>I remember every time everything about you is perfect down to your blood type.</small><br/></li> </ul><h2><b>King Of The Cloud</b></h2> <ul><li><small>Heaven knows that I’m born too late for these ghosts that I chase.<br/></small></li> <li><small>With these dreams, I inflate, painted skies in my brain.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Every day, I’m Carl Sagan in space to escape this old world.<br/></small></li> <li><small><br/></small></li> <li><small>Some days I lie wide awake &lsquo;til the Sun hits my face and I fade, elevate from the Earth.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Far away to a place where I’m free from the weight, this old world.</small></li> <li><small>I don’t trust anything or anyone, below the Sun.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I don’t feel anything at all.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m King of the clouds, I get lifted.</small></li> <li><small>Some only live to die, I’m alive to fly higher than angels in outfields inside of my mind.<br/></small></li> <li><small>I’m ascending these ladders, I’m climbin’, say goodbye to this old world.</small></li> <li><small>When I fall to rise with stardust in my eyes in the backbone of night, I’m combustible. <br/></small></li> <li> <small>Dust in the fire when I can’t sleep a wink, I’m too tired.</small><br/></li> </ul><h2><b>Old Fashioned</b></h2> <ul><li> <small>Once upon a thrill from a kiss to a swill, we were swallowing the nights like we have nine lives. </small><br/></li> <li> <small>Dead and gone so long, seventeen so gone.</small><br/></li> <li><small>We were bored like kids with a book of disorders, medicating every day to keep the straightness in order.</small></li> <li><small>It’s the false side of hope, where believers concede, and there’s only memories when it’s over.</small></li> <li><small>Pour out some liquor, make it an old fashioned. </small></li> <li><small>Remember your youth and all that you do, the plank and the passion.</small></li> <li><small>They were the best of times, they were the best of times.</small></li> <li><small>Once upon before we were brilliant and bored. <br/></small></li> <li><small>Two dashes of the bitters, add some ice and you pour.</small></li> <li><small>Get boozy, boozy, boozy.</small></li> <li><small>Now it looks like a wasteland.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Not the way that we remember.<br/></small></li> <li> <small>One more sip for the past, and always tip your bartender.</small><br/></li> </ul><h2><b>Dying In LA</b></h2> <ul><li><small>The moment you arrived, they built you up.<br/></small></li> <li><small>The sun was in your eyes. You couldn’t believe it.</small></li> <li><small>Riches all around, you’re walking. <br/></small></li> <li><small>Stars are on the ground, you start to believe it.</small></li> <li><small>Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you. <br/></small></li> <li><small>You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do.<br/></small></li> <li><small>But nobody knows you now, when you’re dying in LA.<br/></small></li> <li><small>And nobody owes you now, when you’re dying in LA<br/></small></li> <li><small>Nights at the chateau trapped in your sunset bungalow, you couldn’t escape it.<br/></small></li> <li><small>Drink of paradise, they told you put your blood on ice.<br/></small></li> <li> <small>You’re not gonna make it.</small><br/></li> </ul></blockquote>
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Books, Children, and Creepy: havingbeenbreathedout Sometimes I think back on the time I spent working as a barista, and it seems SO STRANGE to me that "coffee shop AU" has become synonymous with narratives that are low on conflict, high on wholesome romance. During the year l spent working at a coffee shop A coworker of mine took a bunch of psyche- delics, walked through some strangers' plate- glass door, and threatened them with a bowie knife, leading to his arrest and imprisonment (and, needless to say, a late opening for the coffee shop that morning) Another coworker, an ex-military type with a young wife and a new baby, decided to smoke up for the first time ever with two other mutual coworkers, in the back of one of their trucks; and ended up having a three-way with them which ended his marriage .I had a nervous breakdown, stopped being able to eat food or hold conversations, and ended up sleeping on my coworker's couch for three weeks before she finally called my parents to come collect me Multiple store managers were fired for embezzlement. (Reminder: this was within the space of a single year.) .Yet another coworker, who was seventeen at the time, started dog-sitting for a couple of regulars in their (I'm guessing) early 50s, and ended up in an ongoing creepy and incidentally illegal relationship~ with them both Various employees discovered, in the course of cleaning the bathrooms: couples fucking in the bathrooms; junkies passed out in the bathrooms; drunks puking in the bathrooms; both adults and children weeping in the bathrooms, a woman bleeding all over the bathroom from a gash in her throat (??); a dude standing in the middle of the bathroom floor and pissing in the opposite direction from the toilet, so that when the employee opened the unlocked door she got piss all over her (????) The owner of the bridal shop across the street was exposed as both abusive toward her employees and also cooking the books, which led to my coffee shop taking on a couple of untrained and weirdly conservative bridal shop workers for a few months while the bridal shop was shuttered and sold to new owners. Later the larcenous former bridal shop owner came down with some horrible disease which caused her to lose both her hands There was a regular universally referred to as Sketchy Steve," who came in at 7am for a three- shot latte with room for Seagrams 7, and de drugs to all us baristas. I actually, at one point cannot believe I was this stupid), went Sketchy Steve's house, and allowed him to spend like half an hour showing me his collection of découpaged outlet plates and also soliciting me for sex while I uncomfortably yet studiously declined Right before I started, the store manager had walked off the job in the middle of a shift, and side of the employees had walked out after him None of them ever returned Like, working on the front lines of food service was the most operatically sordid professional experience I have ever had, and one of the most surreal; and it is hilarious to me that THAT, of all jobs, is the one that has come to stand for soft-focus domestic romance in fandom circles wenamedthedogkylo This is the Coffee Shop AU we deserve Coffee Shop IRL
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Alive, Cars, and Children: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt.
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Alive, Cars, and Children: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER notthatjaded: kittydesade: squirtle-daddy: hunter-rodrigez: hebangshebangs: badgengar: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt. 2017 and people are still trying to spread the myth that you don’t need to wear a seatbelt. People really don’t wear a seatbelt???? This reminds me of a story from WW1  When they first introduced Helmets to the troops fighting in trenches the number of head injuries suddenly skyrocketed and people wanted to take the helmets away again. Until they realized that the reason for this was the fact that most of these head injuries would have been fatal if it wasn’t for the Helmets. You always need to look at the bigger picture.   Lmfao ya rather save ya tiddies than go flying through the fucking windshield some of you guys are crazy Flying through windshields will also disembowel you and cut off your tits. I’m just saying. I was in a single car accident years back in my first car. If it weren’t for a tree ‘catching’ me I probably would’ve gone rolling. I was wearing a seatbelt. I climbed out of the car (out of the sunroof, actually, because the doors were jammed). The police that stopped and helped me basically said they’d seen people NOT climb out of accidents like that (and lesser ones!) because they’d not been wearing their seatbelts when it happened. Wear your damn seatbelts, people.
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Abc, Bitch, and Do It Again: abc merican Jaol <p><a href="https://cherrypops02.tumblr.com/post/171880974690/lastsonlost-libertarirynn-finally-got-around" class="tumblr_blog">cherrypops02</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://lastsonlost.tumblr.com/post/171879732537/libertarirynn-finally-got-around-to-watching-the" class="tumblr_blog">lastsonlost</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/171879688059/finally-got-around-to-watching-the-video-and-this" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Finally got around to watching the video and this is honestly fucking disgusting. You know damn well that if Lionel or Luke had done that to a 19-year-old female contestant they would be immediately fired and their careers would be over. He’s obviously uncomfortable and she demands he come up and kiss her, then she sneaks a kiss on his lips even though he said he didn’t want one. Not sure how that can be defined as anything but assault. And people can fuck right off with “he’s lucky his first kiss was with Katy Perry!“ shit. I don’t care who you are you don’t have the right to force yourself on someone. Someone is not “lucky“ to be manhandled by you just because you’re famous. </p> <p>Fuck this double standard. And then the bitch had the nerve to act like he wasn’t talented enough to go through while acknowledging that he was probably nervous because she fucking assaulted him. Honestly trash.</p> </blockquote> <p style="">fucked up.</p> </blockquote> <p>Katy didn’t <i>“demand”</i> the boy to come forward to the table for a kiss. She and the rest were hyping up the guy for a kiss. there’s was no verbal aggression being used on the boy in the video.  I think you’re being a bit too far stretch here. Also, the attempt assault, is it really? I mean yeah she did unexpectedly kiss the boy when he uncomfortably didn’t want to. I guess you can say it is an assault, but for some reason, how come I’m not seeing it as one? I mean I do agree if either one of the guys were hyping up a 19-year-old female to kiss them on the cheek and slip them a smooch unexpectedly, they would be fired and be seen as perverts. But for Katy, I don’t know, might be gender roles. I’m not trying to sound bias or ignorant here, and if so I apologize please correct me, but I don’t see anything wrong here in the video except Katy and everybody saying he wasn’t in the for cut when he just needed more practice on his vocals since he did mess up on one of his parts. The guy was nervous after what just happen to him, but tbh he could'vee stop midway to take a breath of air to calm himself down.</p> </blockquote> <p>Let me ask you this: if a 19-year-old girl had come in there and it came up that she had never kissed a boy because she was waiting on a relationship and Luke Bryan had said “what!? You’ve never kissed anybody? Come up here! Come on up here come on come on! Kiss me!” And the girl said “no ahhaha no I don’t really… I mean… on the cheek?” and Luke said “yeah fine on the cheek“ and so she begrudgingly did it and then Luke made fun of how weak the kiss was and told her to do it again and then snuck a kiss on her mouth, would you be OK with it? Or would you call it what it is: harassment and assault?</p> You’ve pretty much already admitted that you would see it differently if one of the men had done it so obviously there’s a double standard here. It’s not OK just because Katy is a pretty lady. Pressuring and cajoling people into physical contact they do not want is messed up no matter who’s doing it.
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eBay, Target, and Tumblr: PAEDIATRICIAN BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE PAEDIATRICIAN £14.99 Free postage ONCOLOGIST BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE ONCOLOGIS £14.99 Free postage PHILOSOPHER BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE PHILOSOPHER £14.99 FULKER BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE ULKER £14.99 Free postage GILDER BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE GILDER £14.99 Free postage KEDGER BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE KEDGER £14.99 Free postage HORSELEECH BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE HORSELEECH £14.99 Free postage RODMAN BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE RODMAN £14.99 Free postage HUSBANDMAN BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE HUSBANDMAN £14.99 Free postage STRIKEBREAKER BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GR New (other) DADDYS LITTLE STRIKEBREAKER £14.99 Free postage MORTICIAN BODY SUIT PERSONALISED DADDYS LITTLE BABY GROW GIFT New (other) DADDYS LITTLE MORTICIAN £14.99 Free postage elodieunderglass: An aesthetic that first appears to be pure and basic Heterosexuals Are At It Again, but becomes increasingly uncomfortable until you finally understand: these babygrows (onesies) with parental professions on eBay. An entrepreneurial sort, eBay user “justtheshirt” realized that for some people, the perfect gift for, say, the baby of a beekeeper is a onesie saying “Daddy’s Little Beekeeper.” In fact, the more obscure the profession, the more excited the customer will feel about the representation! So they took a list of All the Professions, and generated a listing for each one. If someone buys a onesie, they can stamp it with whatever the listing said - and make a rather enormous profit, on a £3 onesie, having made exactly one design and used one script. Genius! The issue is, they didn’t curate the list. Not a single human appears to have overseen this process. So they have inadvertently created some uncomfortably themed babywear, like “Daddy’s Little Maid,” “Daddy’s Little Nightwalker,” and “Daddy’s Little Courtesan.” The database also contained a massive proportion of obscure Medieval English professions, like “fulker” and “meader” and “whipcord maker.” (The auto-generated listing enthuses something like, “the perfect gift for a whipcord maker - or just for someone who wishes they were one!”) There are onesies for babies whose daddies are herbalists, muleteers and sacristans. I have come full circle in my feelings about this and now I am all in favor of dressing babies in these, as long as the profession is incredibly obscure, and the daddy in question refuses to explain anything.

elodieunderglass: An aesthetic that first appears to be pure and basic Heterosexuals Are At It Again, but becomes increasingly uncomfortabl...

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Be Like, Comfortable, and Condom: Mousie If a boy ever tells you he's too big for a condom, please send him this magic-retina: siphersaysstuff: megabeeprime: snyderman37: anxiousartisan: paladinpup: kramergate: just because it “fits” doesnt mean its comfortable or sustainable stopppppppp this shit There are two main factors at play when someone says that a condom is too small: (1) the band size is too small (2) the condom is not sustainable The band is at the base of the condom. It’s latex is made thicker here than the shaft and is, therefore, less elastic. The band keeps the condom secure so it does not come off mid-insertion and so penial fluids do not leak from the condom. To do this, the band has to keep a very tight grip on the base of the penis. This is the main complaint from people using condoms too small for them. The shaft’s plastic can stretch comfortably, but the band is not so lenient and uncomfortably or painfully squeezes the base of the penis. Condoms in use experience a lot of friction. For a condom’s shaft or band to be stretched farther than it was intended weakens the latex. The band and shaft are then at risk of being broken from the friction. It fitting does not mean it is sustainable. If your partner says a condom is too small, believe them and cease from doing anything that requires a condom. If your partner says a condom is too small but is trying to pressure you into unprotected sex, kick them out the door.  Thaaaank you please read the above they make large and XXL condoms for a reason and it’s not to stoke men’s egos A former… friend suggested I try a size or two larger, and yes, they do work. Yep. At first, I thought that condoms were supposed to be that tight. I’d seen those “condoms can fit on a two liter bottle so quit your complaining,” I had no basis for comparison because dudes don’t talk about that shit, and no one wants to be that “HURR HURR GUESS I NEED A MAGNUM XL” guy. Now wear that condom on your arm for a while. Ten minutes at least. Still got sensation in your arm? One of the many failures of sex ed in this country is the notion that there’s only two types of condom, “fits everyone except those elephant-trunk-cock freaks” and “for elephant-trunk-cock freaks or lying braggarts” (and yes, there’s implicit shame in the idea of people needing non-”regular”-sized condoms and the genesis for such is pretty likely rooted in some really nasty viewpoints about certain groups of people but I’m digressing). But penises come in a LOT of dimensions, and not all of them fit right in a “normal” condom. You don’t need to have a monster down there for a condom to be legitimately painful and/or break mid-act. This can leave a lot of people legitimately unawares that it doesn’t have to be like this. (I was, early on.) Condom too tight? That’s a real problem for the reasons pointed out above. But it’s a solvable one at most drug stores, which generally have a broader (ha ha) selection than your Walmarts or Targets. Or suck it up (ha ha) and go to an “adult boutique” (a proper one) where they’re likely to have even more options and let’s be real here the people working at these aren’t gonna give you Looks over condom selection. Or shop at said boutiques online if you REALLY need to avoid the in-person thing. And if you think you’re gonna be doing things requiring condoms, HAVE YOUR OWN. Yes, even if you personally don’t have a penis. Buy a box of large-size as well just in case. And don’t let anyone give you guff over it, and don’t let anyone pressure you into unprotected sex because of condom size. For the record, even if you’re doing things that don’t involve a penis at all, condoms are good to have around. They make great dental dams on the fly, keep toys clean, and keep body parts clean if your partner is using their hands. :) Also, keep some non-latex ones around in case you or your partner has a latex allergy. Trust me, there are few places worse to have that allergic reaction. o_o
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Alive, Cars, and Children: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER theconqueerstador: neurodivergent-crow: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt. “uwu dont wear seatbelts bc some people got injured by them” THEY SURVIVED. which is much better than dying bc you flew through the damn windshield!! fucking dumbass. My mom worked as an ICU nurse for 20 years and counting. She came home once a month telling me about the DOA people she saw launched through a windshield because they weren’t wearing a seatbelt. I use the same rule she did when we were kids: my car doesn’t move until everyone in it is buckled in.
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