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Ash, Bad, and Chill: Sat, Jun 22, 18:36 Hello traveller, I am your guide. Are you ready to begin your quest? Hello stranger, what do I need to do, to complete your request. You have to recover a long time lost manuscript held by a famous necromancer. Your journey begins in a forest. The left of you is a mountain with a large boulder blocking it's entrance, in front of you is an ancient graveyard. Some of the greatest heroes of the realm rest there I would like to investigate the grave- yard of it looks chill or haunted. Not strong enough to push that boulder As you enter the graveyard you notice old tombstones crumbling, scribed in language too ancient to be known by any living creature. While searching around you find a crypt, the front door has been knocked open, you can hear a soft gust of wind coming from inside. I copy the ancient text, best as possible. I use 'produce flame' when I enter the crypt. As you go in the light from your spell fills the room, you notice the coffins that adorn the walls and a spiral staircase that leads further down, at the bottom of it lies a large room, broken pillars, and a statue of Sild, the Warlock. A very powerful wizard from centuries past. Further away, with barely any light around it, you see a creature in a black robe facing away, as it ignores you on purpouse. There's a corpse on an alter in front of it, and it's hands deep inside it As I enter the room I go "excuuuuuse me, but it's not nice to sacrifice people" en hold my flame ready to attack if he would attack me... The creature in black turns annoyed by your interference, you see a beetle crawl out of it's eye socket, it's deformed face makes your stomach sick, as you think that eating all those fries before entering a graveyard was a bad idea. A purple light starts forming as he moves his hands together With a quick look around you notice a large floating orb 3 meters above the creature's head. You remember the old legend of Sild's orb, which he used teleport anywhere in the world. Nasty! God damn it those fries! I shoot my flame to the orb so the bug guy can't escape. And pull out my scimitar ready to attack As your flame hits, the orb shatters into what seems to be glass spikes, flying everywhere, further damaging the room. Some hit the creature, tearing his black robes just to reveal pieces of rotting flesh. The stench of death takes over the room, you can't hold those fries anymore, as you make an effort to not puke onto your brand new heels -and you hear your own voice in your head WHY WOULD YOU GO INTO A GRAVEYARD USING HEELS WOMAN ? As you get distracted, the creature fires his spell, you quickly block it with your scimitar, but it flies away from your hand. You are disarmed and the creature starts running in your direction "I DON'T I WANTED SOMETHING DIFFERENT THEN THE USUAL SNEAKERS as I replied to my own question. I take them of hold them as a weapon ready to defend myself against the ugly bug dude. And try to figure out if I can back to my scimitar. As you dual-wield your brand new puke-free heels you notice a two fast moving shadows moving behind the creature. Desperation starts to hit as you are outnumbered and your scimitar is nowhere to be seen, suddenly the shadows jump onto the creatures head and start attacking him. IT'S YOUR FAMILIARS, your thank yourself for installing that catdoor years ago. The creature loses balance just as it reaches you, slipping and faceplanting your puddle fries and cola that rested on the floor. You plunge it's head with both heels. It explodes and the creature slowly starts turning into ashes... You give a well deserved pet to them. The comforting purring sounds fills the room, you feel safe now. One of your familiars starts digging into the ash pile, as he found something of value there. IT'S A FORTUNE COOKIE! I go like "Oooh cookie!" I break it open and eat the cookie while I read. And also keep petting them, like a good rub under the chin. You slowly chew the cookie, the slight chocolate taste is well welcome at this moment, unravel the note, and it says , hit me up for fries & movies sometime. Sept Her profile said she was into RPGs

Her profile said she was into RPGs

Children, Memes, and Pizza: To the person who keeps stealing my sandwiches (Turkey and Swiss with mayo on rye), This is ridiculous. We are all full-grown adults, not children. Please take responsibility for your actions and stop stealing other people's property! Dear Turkey and Swiss on Rye, I have your precious sandwich, it's safe. For now. Put 10 dollars on the plate in the fridge or you'll never see it undigested again. Dear Turkey and Swiss on Rye Ihave your precious sandwich, it's safe. For now Put 10 dolars on the plate in the fridge or you' never see it undigested again Dear Sandwich Thief Please grow up and just return my sandwichl this is very unprofessionall If ever find out who's deing this I won't hesitate to CONTACT HRI hesitate to CONTACT HRII Dear Turkey and Saiss For every haur you oine to smy demands remeve anather bite of is sandwich. Plase taehis seriously, We are gefessionl,aer Sandh Thi Dear Sandwich Thief, Hi. This is Tina from HR. Please return the sandwich and we won't investigate the matter any further. Dear Sandwich Thief, Buy me a pizza Dear Sandwich Thief Buy me a pizza No. Buy me a pizza No. By the way...Pm not even- going to eat it Just gonna chew up and spit t out How does that make you feef? Hi, Tina from HR again. Francis, we checked the office's primer qucue and traced the requests hack to your deska Could you please come to see me at your carliest convenience me at your earlhest convenience samy please don't ie me. This post is a long boi via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2Qni07m

This post is a long boi via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2Qni07m