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Ass, Bless Up, and Bruh: Chick Magnet @DrSmashlove I been said before that God created men with a degree of physical strength over women, so God granted women a degree of intellect over men. I love it when u bozos get in my comments like "HAHA WOMEN ARE *NOT* SMARTER THAN MEN WE ALL KNOW THAT." Ok lemme tell u another story to prove it. So I meet this dude at a work function right. Homeboy had two boys and his wife was pregnant with number 3. She wanted a girl. She went to two ultrasounds - they said issa girl. But then she read that sometimes the ultrasound tech gets it wrong when they say it's girl when it's a boy but he got a small PP or his PP hidden so she told this dude: "I need a ultrasound." He said "aight schedule one." She said "no they'll make me wait two weeks. I don't want to wait two weeks." He said "well what are you gonna do that's how it works." Next morning she wake up feeling pain, she call her OB and say "I'm feeling pain - it's a miscarriage - I've had two before - I know what it feels like." OB said "ok come in asap for an ultrasound." So she shows up and they take a look and everything ok. And homegirl dead ass says "thank you Doctor. One more thing. Can you confirm the gender for me? 😏" And that's when homeboy knew. His wife had just faked a miscarriage so she wouldn't have to wait for a ultrasound. She even admitted it after. BRUH - I CAN'T WITH YOU WOMEN. YALL DONE FIGURED OUT THIS ART OF PULLING LEVERS. WE ARE POWERLESS. AS FUCK 😂. Lemme ask u: let's say u a old man and u start dating a young ting and she ain on birth control and y'all got a vaca coming up and u want a vasectomy but the Doctor all like "I can't get you in for another month, I'm sorry." What u gon do. As a man. U gon take her lil ass on vaca and she gon get pregnant. Ask a woman how she'd finesse a vasectomy on one day's notice. Ask her. I don't know what she'd say...but she'd GET THAT SHIT DONE. MEN, WE DILLY DALLY. WOMEN EXECUTE. BLESS UP 😂😂😂
Af, Ass, and Bad: if you're have a bad day look at this @DrSmashlove Every once in a while, if you're lucky, you find true love. Something you see - feel - taste - and it just feels right. It's new - but, strangely, it's familiar. It generates sensations u haven't felt before in places that haven't been awakened before, and you're eager to see where it goes. I felt this recently and I had to share it with y'all. Once I experienced it, I couldn't get enuf. No I didn't find this love on Tinder or Bumbles or Coffee and Bagel. This was a love much deeper. The type of love u can only find in a poke bowl 😍. BRUH...Game changer 😂. Life changer. Poke is trendy now so I probably don't need to explain, but, for the uninitiated: this is a raw fish salad that started when Hawaiian fisherman would cobble together all of their fish cuttings from their catches, season it, and eat it. Now it is crafted with love by hipsters with deadstock vintage frames and neck tattoos who wear limited edition Vans and make experimental synth music that they post to their SoundCloud, where they have 984 followers and counting. Poke is the truth bruh. Eat it on a vegetable salad base and u get your vitamins, fiber, and a ton of protein, and it actually tastes good AF. I used to love sushi rolls (and still do) but that's a lot of rice and creamy sauces u don't need. Poke gets right to the point bruh no filler just killer. U feel me? Now the only thing about poke is, unless u live in Hawaii, the shit gon run u. However look at it like this. That Chipotle burrito with guac run u $11. Add $2 and get u something all natural from the sea that will fortify u and give u strength and happiness. U feel me? Eat enough of this shit and u liable to grow big ass muscles like the long haired dude from the Moana movie with the tattoos that move and shit. U feel me? Poke isn't just good food - this shit is true love 😍. Now go forth and enjoy BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Dude, Memes, and Yo: RODE When you call yo baby momma to make sure another dude ain't been wearing your robe!!!

When you call yo baby momma to make sure another dude ain't been wearing your robe!!!

Drunk, Dude, and Funny: 1P That's the spirit Either I just missed a miracle or some drunk dude is crawling around the block on his hands 🤔

Either I just missed a miracle or some drunk dude is crawling around the block on his hands 🤔