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Ass, Bless Up, and Bones: im on a dinner date what do i say shes so cute im so nervous Now see bruh women like to test men. Part of they mission on this earth is to set occasional bear traps for us to see what we say. A big part of being a successful grown ass man is SEEING the traps and walking AROUND them ☺️. One obvious trap is "do I look fat in this?" But that's a easy one. Like if u can't pass that test that's God telling u that u ain't ready for a grown woman yet and u need training wheels for a few more years before u get to that level of bicycle ridery lol. But see some bear traps are trickier. My favorite one is when u talking to a girl in her mid 30s and she hit u with that throwback pic from when she was 20: "OMG lol this came up on Facebook". MEN. STOP. BE CAREFUL. THIS SHIT LOOK INNOCUOUS BUT ISSA BOWL OF HONEY INSIDE A STEEL LEG TRAP THAT'S GON CLOSE ON U AND CRUNCH YO MF BONES UP, LISTEN. Here go the WRONG answer: "LOL HOLY FUCK! There go baby Kim! Lil 20 year old Kim lookin just about fine as FUCK! Look at them titties! Lookin all perky and shit! U prolly ain even need a bra for them miracle titties lol! And them thighs! Thick but no dimples on em FUCK. Look at that smile! Braces fresh off lookin like a LICK! LOL 20 YEAR OLD KIM COULD GET IT!!" Oh no. Oh hell no. *grandmotherly black dude voice* OH NO BAYBEH WHAT IZZU DOIN, LAWWWD BAYBEH. πŸ˜‚ Here's how she gon reply: "πŸ˜–", "k", "ew", "wow". U feel me? "Jeez". U GAVE THE WRONG FUCKING ANSWER BRUH. Lemme give u the RIGHT answer: "aw cute. You done glo'd the FUCK up tho - safe to say I met you at the perfect time 😍". Ok? That's a bear who saw the trap, did a small bear trap dance, danced around it, and lived to walk (and run! And dance!) another day. Ok? Copy and paste this response DON'T GET CREATIVE AND PUT IT IN YOUR "own voice" I DON'T TRUST YALL Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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Ass, Bless Up, and Blessed: She comes here every day to give him a kiss and then leaves @DrSmashlove Say Bruh y'all ever get into a relationship and u invest your heart in that shit and then a couple months later the shit collapse and u high key a little sad that another thingie washed out but u low key pleased that it didn't skretch out a year and a half? Like bruh. Look at what our generation has become πŸ˜‚. We so used to shit falling apart that now it's just like "Dear God if u could make this quick that would be amazing because that whole year and a half shit wear me down proper. Like six seasons? Like it's hot then cold then hot again then slightly cold again and this shit still ain't collapse? Oh wait ... this is over? We doing short, impersonal, dead ass zombie replies now? The shackles have fallen off? Dass it? THANK YOU GOD I LOVE U FOR REAL FOR REAL THIS WAS A QUICKIE. LET ME LICK MY WOUNDS FOR A SEC REMINISCE FOR A COOL LIL MINUTE AND THEN HAVE MY THREE DAYS OF A SLIGHT FUNK AND THEN GET BACK TO IT I LOVE U GOD YOU ARE PRAISED"...πŸ˜‚...and the crazy thing is? The old you would had been like "what's up baby", "is everything ok baby", "let's talk about it baby"...but see there's a difference...the old you had time for the fuckshit...today? Tomotherfuckingday bruh? U got ZERO time for the fuckshit. The fuckshit? U use to embrace it...hug it...bask in it...but today? U just like "NOT TODAY, JESUS" πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ. That new you? The one that ain't got time for the fuckshit? Embrace that side of you, that's a blessing, that's called "personal growth" BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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