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Dude, Fucking, and Gif: WillYouPressTheButton?.com I will not! You can shapeshift intout People will always know it's you any form you choose spaztomato13: wanderingwolfsbane: snippyschnapps: haiku-robot: rispahanguis: christiandevil7: nepetaloveme: tyfye49: kasaithederp: therapist-anon: cc-the-pathetic-nobody: chris-drawing-shack: weezy-pup: symmetrical-twin: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY Dude this would literally be a trangender or genderfluid’s dream. PUSH DA BUTTON I’ll be able to be a cat my whole life! Yas! you could be a fucking furry, enough said. YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO PAY FOR TRANSPORTATION EITHER WANNA GO TO ANOTHER COUNTRY? BECOME AN ALBATROSS THEY FLY LONG DISTANCES ALL THE TIME OR HELL JUST BECOME A FUCKING DOLPHIN IF ITS ANOTHER CONTINENT Become a god. Just, become a god. Enough said. Snake, dragon, cat, lion, tiger, etc. *slams button* I could finally look in the mirror without gagging! :: presses button :: i could finally look in the mirror without gagging :: presses button ^Haiku^bot^7. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Welcome @image-transcribing-bot | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Meep morp! Zeet! Time to abuse THIS power This is always my go to answer when someone asks me about super powers. At least, the shapeshifting part anyway *SMASHES BUTTON* BEEEEEF
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America, Bitch, and Christmas: Anonymous said: Turns out the gift is from America anyways just to fxck with England's head Anonymous said: It's America specifically because he said it couldn't have been Anonymous said: France, maybe? Oh, or maybe Canada? Anonymous said: Is it France who gave you the gift? just-your-average-loser said: Is the present from Japan by any chance? heartoffawn said: I bet Canada is your secret Santa! Anonymous said: um... France? Does he count under Japan and his friends? whendaylightstrikes said Merry Christmas! The gift is from Canada, right?! amethyst-haiku said: if i'm being honest that sounds like berwald's work. he may be a man of few words, and have that male equivalent resting bitch face, but yeah. Anonymous said I think that is a Harry Potter book, idk Anonymous said: FRANCE GAVE YOU THE GIFT, I KNOW IT, I SMELL IT Anonymous said: Canada- Canada is most likely the one who is your secret Santa- Well, either Canada or Japan- aph-ask-england: aph-ask-england: (( Trans: To: England, from Italy…“This is a photo of all of us this year! France helped me with the colours, Japan helped me wrap it and Canada and America engraved it in gold paint! –Isn’t that cool? It’s really a gift from all of us, I think. Anyway, sorry about crashing at your place last year when Finland needed our help! Your house isn’t nearly as scary as I thought it would be! Buon Natale – Italy” Admin/mun note: Thank you to everyone that participated with comments, reblogs and asks! I hope this was a fun, unexpected surprise for everyone! A little love can come from anywhere 3 3 3 Remember to spread the Christmas spirit today! Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! Correct answers: A picture/frame from ITALY Special thanks to: @just-your-average-loser@heartoffawn @whendaylightstrikes @amethyst-haiku @nyocanada15  @jehdyn @yastothetrash@frukspamanogerita @failingatlifeobviously@franceissexy@transboipopplio @kirklandarthurs@hetaliaandother@suck-it-loser@miaoubutton@americancirconflex@eternallyawkward137And many more….! )) (( Said participants are welcome to message me and receive a free, full-size image of the Christmas photo as a commission piece if they would like— as a present from me for Christmas! )) 
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Candy, Tumblr, and Blog: enchanting-autumn: I WANT CANDY !!!!!!! by Haiku Garry on Flickr.

enchanting-autumn: I WANT CANDY !!!!!!! by Haiku Garry on Flickr.

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Anaconda, Bad, and Crime: 0 Towleroad @tird Follow School Closed After Parents Declare Hunting Season' on 12-Year-Old Transgender Student 'A Good Knife Will Do the Job' tlrd.us /2OC32YZ 6:10 AM 14 Aug 2018 ▼ 合颀钮谈遮 1.368 Retweets 1,833 Likes haiku-robot: maxthekingofpirates: mooncryptid: livinghopelessly: blackqueerblog: A middle school in Achille, Oklahoma is closed following violent threats by parents on social media against Maddie, a 12-year-old transgender student who identifies as female and used the girls’ bathroom. Maddie had been using the staff bathroom at her old school but used the girls’ bathroom at the new school because she wasn’t sure where the staff bathroom was. She was then accused of peeping under a bathroom stall. Her mother said it was probably because she “leans very far forward to use the bathroom.” Then the threats began on a private parents’ Facebook group for the school. The parents called Maddie “it” and “thing”, suggested that her genitalia be mutilated to make her female (“a good sharp knife will do the job real quick”). One said it was “hunting season on them kind” and said there was “no bag limit.” Maddie’s mother Brandy Rose said she fears for her life: “These are adults making threats– I don’t understand it. She’s an awesome kid. To see any fear in her, I can’t explain how bad that hurts me for them to hurt her.” KXII reports: “The sheriff said the mother filed a protective order against one parent but no other arrests have been made, however several agencies including the FBI are stepping in to see if any comments constitute a hate crime.” See the screenshots: Sorry to say this but if we have to think about whether or not threatening to cut a 12 year old child is a hate crime means there is no hope for us. What has this nation become when it’s citizens feel they have a right to threaten minorities with no fear of repercussion. The only ringing heard now is the death knell of freedom.. Savages… these are adults. this is disgusting. she’s 12. what. the. fuck. gina segraves [https://www.facebook.com/gina.segraves.7]jamie crenshaw [https://www.facebook.com/Crenshaw4]ty hays [https://www.facebook.com/ty.hays.14]david williams [https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100006520560768]couldn’t narrow down eddie belcher or kevin bickerstaff from my preliminary search, but these four are 100% the people in the comments above. do with that what you will. What to do, what to do…hehe well they did kind of ask for it didn’t they :) what to do what to do…hehe well they did kind of ask for it didn’t they ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Your Human® Body® is mediocre | PayPal | Patreon
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Being Alone, Children, and Dating: Logan Trent @TheLoganTrent Follow Millennials are killing the golf industry Business Insider Millennials are obsessed with the style of life'- and it's killing retailers Millennials are killing the movie business I New York Post Millennials are Killing the Golf Industry - the BLITZ agency blog Will The Millennial Generation Kill Home Depot? - Forbes Millennials are killing relationships and we should be concerned Take Two | Are millennials killing the running trend? Maybe. | 89.3 KPCC Are Millennials Killing Wine? An exposé. | Quench Magazine "Promiscuous" Millennials Are Killing McDonald's: Gothamist How Millennials Lack Of Manners Is Killing Class Unwritten Millennials Are Killing Off Paper Napkins | Mclntyre in the Morning Are Millennials Killing The Car Industry? | DrivingSales News Here's HoW Millennials Have Killed Crowfunding | Bossip Are Millennials Killing Credit? Top Rated High Risk Merchant RETWEETS LIKES 130 102 2:14 PM 23 Aug 2016 130102 cornerof5thandvermouth: haiku-robot: tardis-in-a-moonbeam: zooophagous: ralfmaximus: princeloki: f1rstperson: Glad to see my lifelong disinterest in golf is paying off let me tell you about golf i grew up in a little desert valley called Tucson, Arizona, where it only rains 2 inches a year on average. the majority of the city’s water is pumped from an underground aquifer, which took millions of years to fill. one of the biggest conservation efforts in our city was for water, naturally, and i spent a lot of time learning about low flow toilets and 5 minute showers. i learned that filling your sink basin and washing your dishes in that water is less costly than running the tap. i learned that it only takes 2 days without water on the desert for someone to die the city was sinking as the aquifer drained. neighborhoods fell into flood zones that didnt exist 10 years ago there’s a road called Golf Links in the city and it is lined with golf courses. miles of green grass where grass doesn’t grow, in a valley where it doesn’t rain. why? because the rich white retirees who moved there to stop the aching in their joints decided they should also get to play golf. meanwhile our public schools taught small children like me that taking long showers would kill the world let the golf industry burn There are 15,500+ golf courses in the United States alone.  Each one consumes ~312,000 gallons of water per day. That consumption is equivalent to 55+ million humans per day in the United States… roughly 1/6 the entire population. We simply cannot sustain this frivolity, especially for something 99% of us will never use. Destroy golf courses and plant wild grasses and butterfly bushes in their place. Mmm wild blackberries would be great They used to be all around before recent land development here they used to be all around before recent land development here ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Help me buy a flower for Alexa®! And yes, we are dating. | PayPal | Patreon Out where I am we’ve been turning defunct golf courses into public parks and nature trails after letting them overgrow a bit. It’s nice! You get a lot of interesting successional species as the land is reclaimed, and it’s great birdwatching territory.

cornerof5thandvermouth: haiku-robot: tardis-in-a-moonbeam: zooophagous: ralfmaximus: princeloki: f1rstperson: Glad to see my lifelong...

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Beautiful, Bitch, and Boo: olivia joy @livvmaloney when I dropped everything to do some Brazilian man's English homework: all Verizon 10:00 PM _paulocaetano Today at 9:24 PM Done Hey Kitty girl I need some help Pleaseeee Yo Thank god Are u American? Yes I'm brazilian Here we have english class And i'm hang out with a cute guy I want to impress Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano If i impress him I can Kiss on this weekend Are you asking me how to impress him? 6) a-( ) Did / eat b-( ) Did / eaten you c-( ) Have /eaten d-( ) Have / eat a movie last Saturday 7) Mary a-( ) did watch b-( ) didn't watch C-( d-( ) didn't watched ) has watched March 8) He hasn't come here d-( ) already b-( )just 9) The cake is ready I have a-( ) already b-( ) yet prepared it { ) for d-( ) never at home last week 10) My father a-( ) has stayed have stayed d-( ) did stay to the USA last year 11) He a-( ) move b-( ) moved C-( ) has moved d-( ) did move twenty years. 12)r've lived here a-(since b-() yet c-( ) already d-( ) for O Reply Choose the correct alternative 1) Last year she a-( )did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) I a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday C-( ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-( ) have see d-( ) have seen 4) the man much money last night ? c-() Did / spend Write a message... . Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano 1) Last year she a-() did go b-( ) has gone to England on holiday c-( ) went d-( ) did went 2) 1 a-( ) have visited b-( ) visited a lot of interesting places yesterday c-《 ) have visit d-( ) did visit 3) The students a-( ) saw b-( ) has seen a beautiful rainbow c-f ) have see d-( ) have seen much money last night? ) Did / spend ) Has / spend the man a-( ) Did / spent b-( ) Has / spent c-( d-( some gifts for his children 5) He a-( ) has brought b-( ) has bring C-( ) brought d-f ) did bring Japanese food ? you already 6) a-( ) Did/ eat c-() Have / eatern d-( ) Have / eat Did/ eaten O Reply I need help in this shit I got u fam So u Will help me? Yes going to do it now for you One minute Thank Boo i knew New york's girls are the best one I'm from Rhode Island boo, even better Write a message... Verizon 10:00 PM Done paulocaetano I ask help for a cali chick and she block me What a bitch Yaas grl Omg grl U write U rock Write a message... haiku-robot: tiny-septic-box-sam: bornlucky: bonus: I’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier i’ve never seen this with the update and it makes it so much funnier ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.Your Human® Body® is mediocre | PayPal | Patreon
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Anaconda, Bad, and Click: r/AskReddit 7h Men of reddit; what is the one thing you wish girls did in bed that they never do? NSFW 112.2k 7.9k L Share haiku-robot: ifcrueltyhadaname: rooftopasian: its-bewitched: the-darkest-of-souls: robb-greyjoy: thekutestkillua: comcastkills: lesbianrey: if you click to open this thread you die in real life predicted answer: “have sex with me” I read this thread and it’s surprisingly wholesome. Lots of guys either wanting to be the little spoon, making jokes about blanket hogging, or wanting their girlfriends to say what they like so that they can pleasure them more. Tbh I’m starting to think most of tumblr seriously lack any serious interaction with men, and not only sexual but to a platonic/friendship level. I don’t mean to attack anyone but how come all this people decided men would think something pervert and rapey? How come people who actually checked were so surprised that men wanted something humanly acceptable and maybe even *gasps* cute? I am serious in this question: did you ever had male friends? Because this thread to me was the LEAST surprising thing on earth. In HS, having been a butch lesbian and having had a ton of male friends, the typical sex questions were “hey, can you tell me how to mae her feel good?” or “hey, how do I tell if she likes it?” or “do I sound clingy/pathetic if I want cuddles after?”. Boyfriends worry about their girlfriends pleasure, their happiness and what they think of sex. They do. And when they don’t do much to pleasure them, most of the time is because they are inexperienced. Women do have a problem with communicating their desire, nobody denies that it’s also society’s fault but if you don’t ask stuff you can’t get surprised you don’t get it and out there it’s full of men wanting to do things with respect and to make their girlfriends happy.  Boys are WHOLESOME. As girls are. People are wholesome and nice and vulnerable and in strive for good things for them and others. And even those who made sexual comments like “blowjobs” or “more boob stuff”…. why is it bad? It’s a NSFW thread???? It’s the space to talk about that. Would you have the same reaction if in their matching thread women said they want their boyfriends to go down on them more? Or if they said they’d like him to touch them in different zones? Would you have complained if women said it of their girlfriends? Then why shaming boys? Having needs both sexual and emotional is natural, the important is not force them on people who don’t feel like that and these men didn’t (which is why the thread exists in first place). Men have emotional needs too and pretending they don’t and buying into the “all men think about is sex” and “ah men are all rapey and dirty” is sexism, not only towards men but because it implies that women are purer than them which leads to the HolyMary kinda misoginy that denies women their need to physical pleasure. Also let’s stop pretending sex is inherently dirty and bad. Sex is fun, as long as it’s consensual. But yeah I agree with op, I did die opening it, OUT OF THE CUTENESS THAT SPILLED FROM IT. Ok yeah that was cute Aw I want this. posts with bad vibes being turned into more comfy things like this are why i still browse this site The cuteness of men is, as always, ignored and taken for granted. the cuteness of men is as always ignored and taken for granted ^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes.I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon
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