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All, Lens, and This: This lens has surpassed all expectations!

This lens has surpassed all expectations!

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All, Lens, and This: This lens has surpassed all expectations!

This lens has surpassed all expectations!

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Beautiful, Birthday, and Bless Up: This old man turned 15 today. Can we wish my four egged baby a happy birthday? So this morning on the way to the gym I parked in the lot, took my glasses off and left them in the middle console of my car so I could run inside and get it in on this stair master (while watching my wifey who don’t know she my wifey Mrs Maizel do her COT 👏 DAMN 👏 THING 👏 ON 👏 THAT 👏 SCREEN 👏 U 👏 GO 👏 BABY 👏 GIRL 👏 EFF 👏 JOEL 👏 WITCHOE 👏 SHARP 👏 WIT 👏 AND 👏 MOUNTAINOUS 👏 TÈTA$ 👏 LMAO) because I only need them to see far, not while I’m actually at the gym. I come back after knocking out my workout and the left lens is frozen over bruv. BRUV. I CANT SEE LMAO. The steam had frozen into a beautiful snowflake pattern but just one eye. I have driven in a car with a frozen windshield because I am too rushed to scrape it but having to drive with one frozen eyeball was some insane Sh!t bruv! It was a gentle reminder of this ridiculous frozen tundra that I live in and that arguably no human should live in because who the hell would want to live under 4 to 6 inches of snow LOL (Canada, no shots, I know yall get twice as much snow on a regular schmegular Wednesday but y’all veins pump maple syrup it don’t freeze like us we got normal blood lmao.) Anyway this summer I’ll be back to talking smack about how Chicago is the best city on earth so when I do that, y’all are authorized to remind me that once upon a time I was tight asf that I lived in the cot dang South Pole. Remember that brand? South Pole? With the baggy coats and jeans? I used to want to afford that stuff so much but I couldn’t but then when it fell out of style I was like I NEVER ROCKED THAT UGLY ISHT HAHAHAHAHA I AM SO FANCY (why am I like this 😑 bless up 😍😂😂) (Slide 1: @aturner411. Slide 2: reddit u-wampus514. Please check out www.dogs4warriors.org ❤️. Slide 3: @goosewhomst. Slide 4: @jadethesablegsd.)
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Bad, Creepy, and Cute: i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to do they have to be attached I love your need to make everything cute sounds creepy I love that Well I's funny how you can make everything sound creepy/wrong but the things that you like Make this creepy: Skittles are very good it depends where you put them you challenged a god Make this creepy: An instrumental cover of a well-known song plays from another room. It starts slow rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling with a hand-played music box. It is the unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your head aches. How did you get here? The music throbs against the bathroom's crumbling tile walls. You are standing in front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and yellowed with age. You have no memory of this place. The music speeds up. Your hands are stained with something dark and rotting. A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How did you get here? You lean towards the mirror. Your face is haggard, your eyes bloodshot. Your reflection leans forward and whispers, "Despacito can you do llike wearing glasses Most people have never seen me without my glasses. I wear them all the time. All day, at home, in bed, even in the bath sometimes. I pretty much only take them off to shower or sleep. And even then I keep them within arm's reach. Igot my first pair in middle school, and it changed my life. I've switched styles plenty of times over the years, Right now I own three pairs, not including my backups and prescription sunglasses. I'm always paranoid about losing or breaking the ones I'm wearing. Most people would be surprised to find out my eyesight isn't even that bad. ReallyI only need corrective lenses for distance. I could manage most things without them. But I like wearing glasses Not that it can't be frustrating at times Eyeglasses are always getting smudged or dirty. I have to clean mine constantly. They're fragile, and can be scratched or bent. They fall off, go askew, steam up, and collect water drops when it rains. You have to keep a protective case on hand, and a soft cloth, and glass cleaner. They can be a lot of trouble. Honestly, contact lenses would be so much more convenient I did try to switch, once. I bought a box of those new disposable contacts. And it was great at first-just put them on and go. It was freeing. My eyes adjusted quickly-no itching or redness. It didn't even feel that strange not having something on my face for the first time in years. I really thought they were going to work. They didn't, in the end. Maybe it's something about the material, the difference between actual glass versus whatever polymer the contacts were made from. Maybe it has to do with lens shape, or distance. Maybe it's even just psychological-something to do with the fact that glasses just feel more protective. I had hoped now that I was older, perhaps I wouldn't need protection. Perhaps they wouldn't come after me the way they did when I was a child. I was wrong. Glasses stop the dark things from moving you see. If I don't wear them, I start seeing the things again. Out of the corners of my eyes. In the shadows of the room. Glasses are the only thing I've found that keeps them still. And that's important. Because you see, the things aren't just moving-theyre moving closer Gaud it's past 1 am please Sometimes I just think Gaud is moved by the full and pure force of f people's minds ucking up other why the flip do u think i spend so much time on this hellsite 57,107 notes They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris

They challenged a god. They will pay for their hubris

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Animals, Children, and Facts: kids, the animal world &gender This morning, my 5yo asked us if his new boy-kitten would grow up to be a daddy cat. We said that no, he wouldn't, and were about to explain that this is because the kitten is desexed when my son said, "Oh, that's right - because if you don't grow up to be a mummy or a daddy, then you're not a boy or a girl you're just a person! It turns out, he's been lowkey assuming that there are three grown-up genders: mummy, daddy, and adult, such that anyone who isn't a parent is, in some sense, nonbinary. We explained that, while he's right in thinking there are people who aren't boys or girls, your adult gender isn't determined by whether or not you have a kid, and used examples of people we know as proof. He accepted this with a nod, then went off to play with the kitten, We had a related conversation at bedtime last week, when the "story" he'd chosen was a book of facts about Australian animals. One of the entries we read was about the barramundi fish, which are all male as babies and only turn female during spawning season. This prompted him to ask if human boys could turn into girls, too, and while he was a bit too sleepy for a detailed conversation, I said something along the lines of, "yes, there are some people who look like boys when they're little, but who realise they're girls and change when they get older." He accepted that, too, and then we read another entry about a particular type of bat. These are only two small examples, but it's endlessly fascinating to me to watch how kids are trying to figure out what gender is and what it means from the world around them. There have been times when my son has come home saying that pink is for girls, because that's what he heard at school, and so we have a conversation about how colours are for everyone. The point is not only that children absorb what's going on around them and try to process it through an individual lens, but that how adults answer their questions plays a massive role in comprehension, too. Don't tell kids they're silly for asking these sorts of questions or act as if the truth is obvious: they're not, and it really isn't. But wont somebody think of the children?

But wont somebody think of the children?

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