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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
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Apple, Baked, and Fresh: PAIA BAY COFFEE&BAR ALOHA VIBES PAIA MAUI BREAKFAST&LUNCH HAWA ACAI BOWL made in Paia to pped with banana coconut grenola,&honey orliihai 11.50 CAFE FAVO GREEK YOGURT with berries&granola topped wilth honey or ikoi coulis 9.95 HOUSE ORGANIC SCRAMBLED EGGS With local spring mix&salsa 9.95 add avocado (200) HOUSE POUR ORGANIC EGGS&BACON With local spring mix&salsa 11.95add avocado t12e0) ESPRE CAFE VEGA ORGANICEGGS&GOAT CHEESE roasted red peppers, local spring mix&salsa 21.95 CAPP CAFE ORGANIC EGGS&SMOKED SALMON cream cheese, mint lemon maya, spring mix,&alsa 12.95 ORGANICEGGS&AVOCADO SALAD (gluten free/no bread) with litiloi Dijon dressing& salsa .95 ICED DIRT BAGEL SANDWICHES sub a fresh baked croissant (1.sa) HOT MA Ko TOASTED BAGELwith buter 3.50 HO Or FRESH BAKED CROISSANT 4.00 VEGAN BAGEL with pesto, hummus, roasted red peppers, avocada trmat&baby gnens 9.00 TA O CREAM CHEESE&TOMATO BAGEL with pepper. 475 add avecado (200) COCK TURKEY BAGEL with pesto, cream cheese cucumber tomato,&toasted pumpkis seeds 10.45 BACON BAGEL with cream cheese, tomato. avocado,&red onion 9.95 SMOKED SALMON BAGEL with cream cheese, tomato, avocado, red onion&capers 11.00 CROISSANTS Webake our craissants each morning, and usually run out noon, and you can substihutefor toast ora bagel WITH NUTELLA& either bananas or strawberies & ourhouse whip cream. 7.25 FETA CHEESE omato cucumber, local spring mix & Dijon mustard mayo 1095 BACON&BRIE avocado &Dijon mustard mayo. 10.95 SANDWICHES Served on whole grain artisan bread with organic lecal mired greens&chips GOAT CHEESE with olive tapenade, roasted red peppers &localtomata 2145 BRIE &APPLE with local tomato, black pepper, & herb mayo. 1145 TURKEY With bacon, local tomato, & herbmayo. 12.45 TUNA with swiss, local tomato, capers, & wasabi mayo. 12.45 Served with galic crostini& lightly dressed with liliker Dijen dresung WATERMELON&FETA with toasted pumpkin seeds, an organic lecal spring mix 195 SMOKED SALMON with swiss, avocado, local tomato,& wasabinmayo. 1395 TALKING STORY We love Paia! SALADS mission to offer great able, environmentaly nights per week alon We hope you like us come to the countert TUNA SALAD with avocado&capers on organic local spring mix 12.95 GRANDMA BRADY'S BANANA BREAD PLAIN 425 CHOCOLATE CHIP& WALNUT 475 GRILLED BANANA BREAD With whipped cream& raspberries 625 When you get someone from dev to write the menu
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Guy Fieri, Life, and Love: NB BAY abloodymess: This Guy Fieri courtroom sketch is maybe the best thing I have seen in my life. I would love to have this framed on my wall. 

abloodymess: This Guy Fieri courtroom sketch is maybe the best thing I have seen in my life. I would love to have this framed on my wall. ...

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Bae, Beijing, and Doug: Stavanger Eldar Setre (Equinor) Grethe Moen (Petoro) THE DECOLONIAL ATLAS Copenhagen Søren Skou (Maersk) Calgary Doug Suttles (Encana) Rob Peabody (Husky Energy) Steve Williams (Suncor) Donald Lindsay (Teck) Tim Mckay (Canadian Natural) Moscow Alexey Miler (Gazprom Igor Sechin (Rosneft) Vagit Alekperov (Lukoil) Vadimir Bogdanov (Surgutneftegas) Viadimir Rashevsky (SUEK) Almetyevsk Tarko-Sale Surgut Leonid Mikhelson (Novatek) Vancouver Den Haag Ben van Beurden (Royal Dutch Shell) Nail Maganov (Tatneft) Ekibastuz Nikolay Korsakov (Bogatyr Komir) Katowice Krzysztof Sedakowski (Polska Grupa G Findlay Colin Marshall (Cloud Peak Energy) Gary Heminger (Marathon) Cleveland Gillette Pyongyang London Bob Dudey (BPy Jean-Sábastien Jacques (Rio Tinto) bae(KazMunayGas) Beijing Mun Myong-hak (Ministry of Coal) Dai Houliang (Sinopec) Li Fanrong (CNOOC) Ling Wen (China Energy) Zhang Jianhua (CNPC) Sauat Mynbayev (KazMunayGas) New York Alfred Rankin (NACCOohn Hess (Hess) Karviná Boleslav Kowalczyk (OKD) K TEK) Ashgabat Omaha Denver Michael Hutchinson (Westmoreland Coal) St LouRobert Murray (Mumray Energy) Glenn Kellow (Peabody) Essen Rolf Martin Schmitz (RWE) Pittsburgh John Eaves (Arch Coa Nicholas Delulis (Consol Energy) Kingsport David Stetson (Alpha Natural Resources) Ashirguli Begliyev (TurkmenGaz) Dovletdurdy Hadzhyev (Turkmennebit) Tehran Masoud Karbasian (National Iranian Oil) Baghdad Tokyo Shunichi Nakaigawa (Inpex) Bay Area Mike Wirth (Chevron) Paris Tulsa Patrick Pouyanné (Total) Joseph Craft (Alliance Resource Partners) Oklahoma City David Hager (Devon Energy) Doug Lawler (Chesapeake Energy) El Dorado Vienna Zürich Rainer Seele (OMV) Ivan Glasenberg (Glencore) Jabbar Al-luiebi (Iraq National Oil) Dallas Roger Jenkins (Murphy O) Curtis Morgan (Vistra Energy) Darren Woods (ExonMobil) Delhi Kuwait City Shashi Shankar (ONGC) Birmingham Michael Tracy (Drummond) Damascus Hashem Hashem (KPC) Kolkata Roma Wase Al-Himed (SPC) Abu Dhabi Madrid Josu lmaz (Repsol) Claudio Descalzi (Enl Anil Kumar Jha (Coal India) Houston ) Dammam Ahmed Al Jaber (ADNOC) Amin Nasser (Saudi Aramco) Kothagudem Corbin Robertson (Natural Resource Partners) David Stover (Noble Energy) John Christmann (Apache) Muscat Algiers Rachid Hachichi (Sonatrach) Bangkok Somruedee Chaimongkol (Banpu) Bahrain Raoul Restucci (PDO) Sni Sridhar (SCCL) México Octavio Romero (Pemex) AWalker (Anadarko Petroleum) Cairo Pete Bartiett (BAPCO) Tripoli Tarek El Molla (EGPC) Doha Ryan Lance (ConocoPhilips) Wiliam Way (Southwestern Energy) William Thomas (EOG Resources) Mustafa Sanalla (Libya NOC) Saad Sherida A-Kaabi (QP) Kuala Lumpur Wan Zulkiflee (Pefronas) Abuja Maikanti Baru (Nigerian National Petroleum) Caracas Bogotá Manuel Quevedo (Petróleos de Venezuela) Felipe Bayon (Ecopetrol) Quito Marcelo Proano (Petroecuador) Balikpapan Garibaldi Thohir (Adaro Energy) Palembang Luanda Carlos Saturnino (Sonangol) Arviyan Arifin (Bukit Asam) Jakarta Bob Kamandanu (Berau Coal Energy) Arsjad Rasjid (Indika Energy) Kurnia Ariawan (Kideco) Nicke Widyawati (Pertamina Saptari Hoedaja (Bumi Resources) Johannesburg-Pretoria Mark Cutifani (Anglo American) Mxolisi Mgojo (Exxaro) Stephen Comell (Sasol) Rio de Janeiro Roberto Castello Branco (Petrobras) Buenos Aires Daniel González (YPF) Melbourne Andrew Mackenzie (BHP) 100 companies are responsible for most of the world's greenhouse gas emissions These are the NAMES AND LOCATIONS of their executives Country sizes depict cumulative CO2 emissions from 1850-2011
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