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Christmas, College, and Dumb: Another thing! If you live in a college dorm that has a polcoy against candles being lit in the rooms, and you want to light a menorah for Chanukah, seek out help advocating yourself from your local Chabad, Hillel, or other assorted Jewish organization. They know how to deal with this stuff and will help you work on a compromise with school officials. You have a right to celebrate Chanukah. neoacidic "my religion is more important than other people's safety!!" sorry but do you hear yourself? celebrate, if you must, but don't infringe upon others or think you're above the law (when the law is no unjust.) thinkherenow: surprisedentistry: femme-radicale: surprisedentistry: realsadjewishhours: keshetchai: 5779: keshetchai: 5779: today on Weird Goyische Meltdowns I have literally had my gentile neighbors start two actual real apartment fires in the last MONTH because they can’t keep an eye on their cooking, meanwhile I light candles ALL THE TIME AT HOME and never set ANYTHING ON FIRE BECAUSE I AM RIGHT FRIGGIN THERE. Do you know what I do with Chanukkah candles on?? I turn off my lights and watch them melt and maybe I do something with my hands but I keep an eye!!! On!!! THEM!!!! #… holy shit guys there’s LED lights for a reason #like if it’s that much of a danger just use LEDs for your decor lighting a menorah reeeeally is not “decor”  It’s NOT that much of a danger. I live in an “adult” neighborhood of apartments (i.e. Not with college students) and again, people have caused two fires this month while making breakfast. One fire burned down most of the building next door to mine. regular old adults using a microwave or stove! But when I light my candles for either Shabbat or Chanukkah I am WATCHING them. I have tin foil nearby, I have water nearby, my religious observances (which aren’t fulfilled by an LED light) are not, in my experience, the greatest fire hazard around. You know what is? People making breakfast people not cleaning LINT out of their dryer. Also LED lights do not fulfill the Jewish obligations that candles/oil do. We literally cannnot use LED lights please stop suggesting this. gentiles on this post have been weirdly convinced that they’re the only ones who know about decorative electronic menorahs and that they just need to educate the ignorant jews  What the fuck? If you want to have your candles go live somewhere those are allowed instead of putting others at risk and making everyone around cater for you. today on Weird Goyische Meltdowns The National Fire Protection Association reports “Between 2012-2016, U.S. fire departments responded to an average 170 home fires that started with Christmas trees per year. These fires caused an average of 4 deaths, 15 injuries, and $12 million in direct property damage annually.” but go off on the Jews for doing their thing. Hey everyone Id like to just speak up for my Jewish friends and followers and say y'all should stop being dumb fucks and respect Judaism and the people who observe it!!! You do not know more about thing relating to their religion than they do! You are not entitled to tell them to stop practicing their religion properly when they explain they have been doing it safely! Any fires caused by someones menorah is not at the fault of Jewish people! It is at the fault of that specific person not watching their candles! Same as if you dont watch a stove! Shut the fuck up or Ill punch you!To all my Jewish friends and followers: I apologise for these ignorant fools - light your candles and have a Happy Chanukah!!!
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Children, Funny, and Girls: thebuttkingpost Greek mythology: aren't the god great they only sexually harassed my wife and turned one of my children into a stag beetle this week Norse mythology: dînghïr cene nüt got his name when he killed a lizard the size of every mountain in the world without Odin's permission so Odin thought it would be funny to punish him by making him fart so hard one of his nuts flew off wait-whereami Chinese mythology: This guy just shot down 9 of the 10 suns scorching the planet but he's mean now so his wife and her rabbit overdosed on immortality pills and floated into the moon so he won't be a tvrant forever and we made cake in her honor dominawritesthings Yoruba mythology: a project team of gods was sent to earth on THE most massive project ever and the men decided to exclude the lone woman on the team because har har girls suck, and she responded by taking ALL OF THE WATER ON EARTH and watched the men take L's until the team lead made them take her back This same goddess is the one a group of male human villagers had to appeal to when the women of their village got so pissed off at their fuckery, they literally left and set up shop somewhere else and had zero plans of coming back notavodkashot Aztec mythology: Tezcatlipoca is at it again. Which Tezcatlipoca? Does it even matter at this point? Also, Quetzalcoatl had a bright idea again. It ended up in disaster Again taraljc rish mvthology: local queen kicks husband out of bed for trying to prove he brought more to the marriage. this results in supremely vicious and bloody war over a cow that ravaged Ulster and Connacht nonasuch the talmud: these rabbis are basically LotR wizards as scripted by Mel Brooks. one time Rabbi Eliezer got so mad about an argument over how to make an over kosher that he destroyed 1/3 of the world's crops. it would have been all of them but when they sent someone to tell him he was excommunicated for the oven fight he broke the news gently also he tried to murder Rabbi Hillel with a tidal wave but Hillel rebuked the wave so that was done. runawaymarbles Sumerian mythology: The water god cheated on his wife with his great great granddaughter so now all his limbs are pregnant Source: thebuttking... #greek mythology #mythology #chinese mythology Mythology in 5 seconds
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Facebook, God, and Regret: Yonatan pulled the knife from his own neck and used it to kill his attacker... Accidental <p><a href="http://that-weird-breton-girl.tumblr.com/post/140829055870/proudblackconservative-girlactionfigure-on" class="tumblr_blog">that-weird-breton-girl</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="https://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/140827051189/girlactionfigure-on-tuesday-march-8-2016" class="tumblr_blog">proudblackconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://girlactionfigure.tumblr.com/post/140806175165">girlactionfigure</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><br/>On Tuesday, March 8, 2016, Yonatan Ezriyahav, an Israeli father of five, was entering a grocery store when he was repeatedly stabbed in the neck by an Arab terrorist. </p> <p>When he realized he’d been stabbed, Yonatan stumbled out of the store. To the amazement of several onlookers, Yonatan pulled the knife out of his neck despite the searing pain. </p> <p>Instead of collapsing and waiting for the ambulance to arrive, Yonatan ran back into the store and stabbed the terrorist to death with his own knife. </p> <p>Hamas immediately hailed the dead terrorist as a martyr. Their extremist ideology teaches that the greatest way to serve God in the Holy Land is to kill Jews.</p> <p>Interviewed by Israeli TV after the incident, Yonatan, an Orthodox Jew, expressed a very different understanding of Divine Will. </p> <p>Yonatan quoted Jewish sage Hillel’s famous line, “If I am not for me, who will be for me? And if I am only for me, what am I?” </p> <p>He said, “I understood that I had to stop him so that he doesn’t kill me or kill anyone else.“</p> <p>Yonatan humbly rejects all credit for preventing the terrorist from killing more people that day. He believes that God put him in that market, and he was merely a tool in the hands of the Almighty for saving the lives of others.</p> <p>For literally hoisting a terrorist by his own petard, we honor Yonatan Ezriyahav as this week’s Thursday Hero at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/accidentaltalmudist/?fref=nf">Accidental Talmudist.</a></p> </blockquote> <p>Badass level 1000</p> </blockquote> <p>The fact that he survived a NECK STABBING is a miracle</p> </blockquote> <p>To say nothing of the fact that he then pull the freaking knife out of his freaking neck and stabbed his attacker to death with it. I mean damn. “You wanna stab me, motherfucker? You’ll live just long enough to regret it.”</p>
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Facebook, God, and Tumblr: Yonatan pulled the knife from his own neck and used it to kill his attacker... Accidental <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://girlactionfigure.tumblr.com/post/140806175165">girlactionfigure</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><br/>On Tuesday, March 8, 2016, Yonatan Ezriyahav, an Israeli father of five, was entering a grocery store when he was repeatedly stabbed in the neck by an Arab terrorist. </p> <p>When he realized he’d been stabbed, Yonatan stumbled out of the store. To the amazement of several onlookers, Yonatan pulled the knife out of his neck despite the searing pain. </p> <p>Instead of collapsing and waiting for the ambulance to arrive, Yonatan ran back into the store and stabbed the terrorist to death with his own knife. </p> <p>Hamas immediately hailed the dead terrorist as a martyr. Their extremist ideology teaches that the greatest way to serve God in the Holy Land is to kill Jews.</p> <p>Interviewed by Israeli TV after the incident, Yonatan, an Orthodox Jew, expressed a very different understanding of Divine Will. </p> <p>Yonatan quoted Jewish sage Hillel’s famous line, “If I am not for me, who will be for me? And if I am only for me, what am I?” </p> <p>He said, “I understood that I had to stop him so that he doesn’t kill me or kill anyone else.“</p> <p>Yonatan humbly rejects all credit for preventing the terrorist from killing more people that day. He believes that God put him in that market, and he was merely a tool in the hands of the Almighty for saving the lives of others.</p> <p>For literally hoisting a terrorist by his own petard, we honor Yonatan Ezriyahav as this week’s Thursday Hero at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/accidentaltalmudist/?fref=nf">Accidental Talmudist.</a></p> </blockquote> <p>Badass level 1000</p>
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