But
But

But

Cant
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Cant

Burritos
Burritos

Burritos

eating meat
 eating meat

eating meat

textures
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textures

rollins
rollins

rollins

mackenzie
mackenzie

mackenzie

aint
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๐Ÿ”ฅ | Latest

Bodies , Chipotle, and Girl Scouts: Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun 950,000 Volt by HomeAlarmsAndPersonalSecuritySystems (1 customer review)Like (34) Price: $48.50 In Stock. Ships from and sold by Body-n-Home Only 1 left in stock--order soon. 15 new from $36.51 1used from $60.00 xtto Amazing!, May 14, 2012 By notactuallysteve See all my reviews This review is from: Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun 950,000 Volt I purchased this after I was confronted by some punks demanding that I hand over my money. I'm a relatively fit guy, but I was no match for them. That is when I realized that I need to protect myself. The day after I bought this product I went to the very same Wal-Mart parking lot when I was first mugged. I approached the group of hooligans standing outside the entrance, concealing my secret weapon I cooly asked "Remember me?". One of them looked up and said, "Have you come back to buy some Samoas or Thin Mints? My Girl Scout Troop needs to raise more money!" I replied with "you're not taking my money this time". "But sir, they're delicious!", she said I whipped out my Knuckle Blaster Stun Gun hand and shouted "WRONG MOVE B***! The five girl scouts ran away screaming As I pounded my chest in victory, I accidentally activated the stun gun and applied 950,000 Volts to my right nipple. I woke up 4 hours later to the sound of heavy footsteps. Those Girl Scouts had brought their fathers. But I was ready. I lunged at the largest one with a cry of "RAGGLE FRAGGLE!!!" and hit him in the stomach. He hit the ground harder than a fat kid on a jungle gym As the others began to circle around me, I changed techniques. Holding both of my hands in tight fists, I rased my arms to my sides and initiated the helicopter spin. They all backed off, fearing my impressive RPM. After a while I started getting dizzy, and one of the fathers decided to try to tackle me. As he ran to me stood there, dizzy and queasy; time was going real slow. Then I remembered. I had eaten lunch at Chipotle and the burrito was fighting its way back up my stomach I tuned toward my enemy and launched a stream of projectile vomit at him, knocking him to the ground. Then I started singing "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the.... FLOOOOORRR!!!!" I grabbed my Knuckle Blasher Stun Gun and shoved it into my mouth, running headfirst at my foes, electrocuting them with my teeth. Eventually they were all unconscious, and I walked home victorious <p>Still only 4/5 stars? via /r/memes <a href="https://ift.tt/2vCxNs3">https://ift.tt/2vCxNs3</a></p>

<p>Still only 4/5 stars? via /r/memes <a href="https://ift.tt/2vCxNs3">https://ift.tt/2vCxNs3</a></p>

Bless Up, Chipotle, and Dating: u/TheMorganiser 4d She held a rubber duckie in her mouth to keep herself calm as I gave her a shower @DrSmashlove See bruv a big part of being a grown man is reading code. Ladies donโ€™t text in English. Ladies text in code. If u ain got the Capโ€™n Crunch Decoder Ring ยฎ๏ธ u doomed to a lifetime of being lost in the sauce. Smash is here to help u decode ๐Ÿค—. Now, on the pages of this account, I have detailed the true meaning behind the โ€œGOOD NIGHTโ€ text sent before the hour of 9 pm. As Iโ€™ve stated - nobody going to schleep at 8:02 pm. What she doing is saying: โ€œBISH U ON NOTICE.โ€ But many steps have to occur on the way to GOOD NIGHT. By then u done pissed her off to the point where she real, real tight with u. So what are the warning signs. One of my favorites is the following morning text: โ€œOk! Well, hope you have a good day ๐Ÿ˜Œ.โ€ MEN ... BE CAUTIOUS ๐Ÿ˜‚. Nothing about this text mean what it say. Girls donโ€™t want u to have a good day. Quite the opposite. They wanna text u ALLLL DAY and get as many details as possible about ya a$$. How was lunch? Oh good. Howโ€™s work? Howโ€™s the gym? Howโ€™s dinner at Chipotle after the gym? Did u get queso? OMG THE QUESO MAKES THE BURRITO BOWL SO GOOD LOL LIKE GUAC *AND* QUESO Iโ€™VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN HAHA WYD. Nah. Hell nah. โ€œHope you have a good dayโ€ is code for โ€œwell now. I see youโ€™re too busy to reply to my text at 9:02 am by 9:01 am like a good man should. Because youโ€™re not a good man. In fact youโ€™re awful. Literally why are we talking? GOOD ๐Ÿ‘ PP ๐Ÿ‘ WAS ๐Ÿ‘ ENUF ๐Ÿ‘ FOR ๐Ÿ‘ ME ๐Ÿ‘ WHEN ๐Ÿ‘ I ๐Ÿ‘ WAS ๐Ÿ‘ 22 ๐Ÿ‘ BUT ๐Ÿ‘ Iโ€™M ๐Ÿ‘ 27 ๐Ÿ‘ NOW ๐Ÿ‘ Iโ€™M ๐Ÿ‘ A ๐Ÿ‘ NEW ๐Ÿ‘ KATELYN ๐Ÿ‘ AND ๐Ÿ‘ THIS ๐Ÿ‘ KATELYN ๐Ÿ‘ WONโ€™T ๐Ÿ‘ ACCEPT ๐Ÿ‘ โ€˜Read 9:02 AMโ€™. Question: why are you even dating? Mmmmwhy do you even think youโ€™re fit to date? ๐Ÿค” YOUโ€™RE STILL A HURT LITTLE BOY. YOUโ€™RE NOT A GROWN MAN. GROWN MET REPLY TO A TEXT AT 9:02 am BY 9:01 am. WHERE IS A MAN WHO WILL ANTICIPATE MY FEELINGS AND TEXT ME WHAT Iโ€™M ALREADY THINKING WHILE Iโ€™M STILL COMPOSING MY THOUGHTS BUT HE SEES THREE DOTS AND CAN ALREADY READ MY MIND? WHERE, GOD? Ok. Forget it. Back to Bumble. Maybe Matt2983 will do BETTER. Hope you have a good day ๐Ÿ˜Œ.โ€ BLESS UP ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

See bruv a big part of being a grown man is reading code. Ladies donโ€™t text in English. Ladies text in code. If u ain got the Capโ€™n Crunch D...