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Ass, Bless Up, and Cats: Let's go shopping! So one of my followers DM me saying: "Have you ever met 'Mr. I'm too Perfect'? You see Mr. P is a sexy, motivated, funny, intelligent and extremely likable guy who makes calculated moves that force unsuspecting women in2 the grey area of 'are we dating or just hooking up?' Mr. P has an estimated bajillion women ready to marry him at the drop of an 'I love you.' Time to move on or accept the challenge?" Ok lemme drop a little science on Mr. PP, because I may know a thing or two about this type πŸ˜‡. First things first, keep it very G with old boy - but don't do the most. Find a balance. If u fawn over him too early on, he gon take u for granted. But don't fall into the trap of doing the other extreme and rubbing his face in his shit. Like when a girl wanna mention that she dated ball players and actors. Fuck they got to do with me? πŸ˜‚ I done dated models but I don't harp on that shit. Mr. PP ain't used to girls treating him like a regular dude. Give him that gift and watch it work magic πŸ€—. Second, tease him. Mr. PP is used to hearing about his perfection so relentlessly bust the fuck out of his balls. If he wearing a pink tie u could be all "OK SO WE DOING PINK TIES NOW THAT'S ADORABLE. YOU GOT A PINK THONG TO MATCH THAT PINK TIE, MR. PINKYSAURUS REX? HOW BOUT A PINK ROMPER. MATTER FACT YOUR XMAS GIFT IS A PINK ROMPER AND IMMA MAKE U WEAR IT OL PINK BUTTERCUP LOOKIN ASS LOL." Last of all, starve him. Get into a nice lil texting discussion and then leave him ice cold. U feel me? Like y'all bantering on Monday and poof...ghost till Wednesday. Fuck his circuitry up. Cross his wires. Have him worrying u spent Tuesday getting that long pipe from your ex. "But smash I hate these games why do I need to play games argh! I'll just live with cats I'm done 😫." Ok Cat Lady u the one who wanted to fuck with Mr. PP, I'm just giving u the game! U don't like this game? Might I suggest Christian Mingle - find u a nice boy named Peter who gon make loving missionary sexytime to u and have u in a Honda Odyssey. But if u wanna have Mr. PP chirren and ride in that big body Audi Q7 u gotta approach shit a lil different. Ya get me! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
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Crazy, Definitely, and Fashion: Used And Abused RETAIL USA WILD & UNRULY (I am working at a makeup store as a cashier. I am about 16 and don't have much job experience, and this is my first job working in a retail-type setting. We have our refund policy posted all over the store, including on receipts and our website. We do not allow any makeup returns unless the makeup is unused and the unit carton is sealed with no obvious signs of damage to the product or the carton. A woman walks in with a bag filled with palettes and drops it on the counter.) Customer: "I'd like to make a return Me: "Sure, of course! Do you have your receipt with you?" Customer "Yes. I want to return all of this stuff in the bag. It was complete s Me: "Um... okay." (She hands me a very long receipt) Me: "Thank you, ma'am. All right, everything? And it's all untouched?" Customer "Yes never used it (She takes out her a little booklet with her credit cards in it and places it on the counter while I open the bag. A giant poof of powder from the palettes flies up into my face. Every single palette is clearly shattered, and the pans that aren't broken have clearly been used.) Me: "Uh... ma'am, everything is... broken customer: "Yes, that's why I'm returning it Me: "I'm sorry, but I can't accept this. These pans have obviously been used, and the damaged." customer: *becomes an uber-witch in 0.32 seconds* "I never used them! They were broken when I bought them, b that's why I'm returning them Customer: *becomes an uber-witch in 0.32 seconds* "I never used them! They were broken when I bought them, b that's why I'm returning them Me: caught off guard "Ma'am, these pans *l point to the pans are clearly used There are finger swipes on them. m sorry, but we don't accept returns of damaged or used products. Customer "You little a wipe, get me your f****** manager this very second Me: "As of right now, I am the only working employee Customer "Then call your fi head manager, S (Ive never faced this type of dilemma, so I call my manager. She doesn't pick up.) Customer "I paid good money for this s and it was f****** broken want to return my f makeup, you f c***!" (Im getting angry now, and the other customers are staring.) Me: "Ma'am, I really don't know what you want me to tell you. I Customer "Tell me that I can f****** return this! What the h s your name? I will f****** report you to your f boss Me: "MATAM. We do NOT accept broken or used products, and these palettes are both! I am going to have to ask you to leave if you continue this behavior." Customer "I don't see your return policy! I'm going to sue your f company, you hear me? Me: he return policy is on your receipt and written around the store near the displays. It's also on the counter and on our website." Customer "I COULD'VE MISSED THAT Me finally losing my temper* "Do you have eyes? I see them right now and they clearly work so if you have them then please, for the sake of all of us, use them to read things so you don't sound like a f****** idiot when you talk to other people Customer "YOU B****! M CALLING YOUR MANAGER Me: finally losing my temper* "Do you have eyes? I see them right now and they clearly work so if you have them then please, for the sake of all of us, use them to read things so you don't sound like a f****** idiot when you talk to other people Customer "YOU B****! M CALLING YOUR MANAGER Me: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave right now, or I will call the police." (I notice another employee, who happens to be gifted in the martial arts, arriving for her shift standing at the entrance of the store, watching. Ieye the phone on the wall She mouths "9-1-1? and I nod. She dials the police.) Customer: "B****! You'll get what you deserve Me: "Ma'am, you must leave immediately or I will have you escorted out." Customer "YOU FILTHY W****! YOU CANT MAKE ME LEAVE (She pulls a nail polish with a rather slim and pointy cap made by a certain famous fashion designer o of the shelf next to her and throws it hard at me. It hits my temple and I start bleeding.) Me: "The police have been called and take note that I will see you in court for harassment and assault." Customer: "N YOU WONT (She immediately turns around and starts running right towards the entrance near the other employee. The employee grabs her arm and flips her on the ground, then places her foot on her chest. The police arrive right as she's doing this and arrest the customer. Igrab the customer's booklet off of the counter and flip it open. Right on the very front slip is her ID. walk over to the customer and police) Customer "SHE'S A LIAR! SHE'S A F****** CRAZY B Me: ironically "MAAM, you forgot this as you were trying to run away." (I dropped it on the ground and walked back to the counter) People wonder why I still go to this site. Obviously because of the absolutely true stories people tell.

People wonder why I still go to this site. Obviously because of the absolutely true stories people tell.

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