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Bailey Jay, Dude, and Fresh: oo Verizon 2:03 PM Q Search Heathans Dan Yesterday at 10:08 AM- Today at work I found some Wild Corndogs growing in their natural habitat. This was real exciting for me as I have never picked fresh corndogs before, but I have no idea how to tel when they are ripe as they tasted horrible no matter how much mustard I put on them 22.5K Shares Like Share News Feed Requests Messenger Notifications More prancingtrashcan: cynicowl: randomdaisy: limbovulture: @randomdaisy dear herbologist what the fok is this corn dog plant OH MY GOODNESS I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO…. DUDE… DUDE NO” this plant is, in fact, a cattail (Typha genus, probably either Typha latifolia or Typha angustifolia). what’s ironic about this person’s encounter is that almost every single part of the cattail is edible– the rhizomes are starchy and, although tough, can be made into a nutritious flour; the stems can be peeled and used like asparagus; the pollen can be gathered and used to extend or supplement flour; and even the green flower spikes can be boiled and eaten like corn-on-the-cob, so this person sort of had the right idea. the thing is, what this person has in their photo is a BROWN flower spike, meaning that it’s starting to go to seed and is probably a tasteless mouthful of either fiber or fluff. regardless of whether the post is a joke or serious, out of all the edible parts of the cattail, op managed to pick one of the ONLY parts of the plant that isn’t. and i still can’t get over that. As a side note, rubbing that part of the plant makes an absolutely ridiculous amount of fluff come out (which is how it disperses the seeds). I highly recommend it but it’s probably best to do that when no one else is around are you saying i can jack off this plant and it will nut
Bad, Click, and Friends: Anonymous said why can't muslims tell other muslims to stop killing people? thebootydiaries: thebootydiaries: It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apartment. I’m sitting in front of my laptop, silently studying the 1.6 billion faces speaking simultaneously in front of me. It’s Monday, the day of the weekly conference call between all Muslims. We have been required to attend this Skype meeting from the the tender age of fetus, but I had never spoken in one of them before.  That changes today.  “Hey guys, what if…” I start to say.  Nobody hears me, but I refuse to be silent. How could I show my face again on Tumblr if I couldn’t even save my mayonnaise friends from death? How could I expect to earn their respect? Anon was right; why hadn’t I done this before? Thousands of lives had paid the price for my ignorance, but not anymore. “What if you guys….. stopped killing people.“  Suddenly, silence.  1,643,398,023 pairs of eyes are on me. My heart is in my throat as the ISIS leader gives me a blank expression.  A single tear rolls down my cheek. Please.” I say with a broken voice.  He is moved.  “Aight”. My fingers are almost shaking as I carefully type in the ten digit phone number I have had memorized my entire life. The buttons on my home phone seem to glow a bit more dull, and even the ringing of the phone from the other end seems to be agonized, almost as if the world is telling me to hang up. But I refuse to give up; I can’t let my lily-white friends down. Not again.The phone rings once. Twice. Three times. Still no answer. Just as I am about to hang up, there is a click.All I can hear is heavy breathing.“Hello….” I say quietly, my voice shaking. “Is….. Is this Muslim?”There was a long silence before I heard a voice answer “ya lol.”“I was thinking………..” I begin cautiously. “Maybe murder is…………bad.”“Habibi, I…..I don’t understand. What are you trying to say….?” The voice seems shaken.“What if…….world peace is good and killing people is…………not good”He lets out an audible gasp. “Are you saying ISIS is…….bad?”“Maybe death is…….not good.” I continue. My heart is racing. I remind myself that I am saving thousands of lives, and inhale.The silence from the other end of the line is almost deafening. He seemed to be thinking, as if he had never considered this idea before in his life. Truly I had opened his heart and his mind. This…. This could end terrorism.“Muslim….Please.” I whisper.I hear a tear roll down his cheek, with my Muslim Communication Hearing™, and hold my breath as he finally breathes out his next words.“Kk.”

thebootydiaries: thebootydiaries: It’s a breezy summer day and the rustling from the leaves outside sound like whispers from my small apart...