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Being Alone, Fall, and Love: vajeentambourine Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid. Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor... It took me a long time to realize that it's okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth and that's a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven't processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn't make their behavior acceptable, and it's okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don't have to forgive every mistake. I want you to know that it's okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I've ever gone through. it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart's natural state But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health I know what it's like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone. Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.
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Bitch, Confused, and Food: Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat, let's put our cards on the table. No, I've never swiped right before. No, none of these pictures are of me. Yes, I've been on the lamb since '09. I need to know if I can trust you I'm so confused Confused? No. Confused was what I was when walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16. The world doesn't forgive Chrissy. It's a cold, hard bitch What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things: A. Can you provide asylum? B.can you cook? I am lactose intolerant. C. Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy, I took a gamble on you. I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me. Let's see, do you know morse code? Also, you're going to need an alias. How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander. am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin. I will be wearing a disguise when we meet. Look for the signal: will sneeze three times. You pretend to take a call. I will leave; you follow me at a reasonable distance. Is this understood, Brookfield? Yes? Excellent. Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow. We need to be out of the city by sundown. Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans, Brookfield. Not to worry, I'll drive, but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by law enforcement. Side note, food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters, before we leave. What are you making? I will remind you, I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused. It means I'm allergic to dairy products. Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal. No I know what lactose intolerant means... But what's happening in general It's up to you, I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it. not about the food... Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me, Brookfield. I needi you focused, sharp as a tack. Nimble, like a cat None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off. PULL WHAT OFF Read me
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