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Blowjob, Candy, and Fucking: hannah @lovecloud I told my boyfriend to write me an essay on why I should blow him 00 AT&T LTE 7:58 PM 89% 8 MAN CANDY I want a persuasive essay with a strong thesis statement written in MLA format on why l should suck your dick Due by midnight tonight I'll fucking do it. Do it Ok. By text or email? Email Gotchu. Jose Alvarez Dr. Hannah Smith GF STUDIES PO1 December 27 2016 A Short but Thorough Analysis on Why You Should Blow Me To blow, or not to blow? This is a parody of the wel echoed Shakespearean proverb that gauges the pros and cons and consequential successes and failures (the latter of which is indisputably improbable) of giving me a blowjob. As the author, whom henceforth will be referred to for general commentary as I or me, have taken a contrarian stance on the hyperbolized disadvantages of giving me a blowjob, I will, in strictly heterosexual dialogue, support my argument by addressing the benefits of having my skin flute played orally. The aforementioned benefits are as follows: increased receptivity for the blowing of the other partner, positive increase on women's self-esteem, and the enrichment of intimacy between men and women who partake in oral sex It goes without saying that in order to be healthy; a person must eat well, exercise moderately, sleep a generous amount, and last but not least, have regularly sex. There is overwhelming evidence supported by countless scientists that links the performance of sex to better health. But where does oral sex benefit me? Why should you blow me? I'm not selfish, and this excerpt from The Evolution of Sexuality from Oakland University proves that blowing me is not only beneficial for me but for you as wel "Men who report performing more mate retention behaviors, in general, and more benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviors, in particular; also report greater interest in, and more time spent, performing oral sex on theii female partner Likewise, women who report performing more benefit-provisioning mate retention behaviors also report greater interest in, and moretme spent, performing oral sex on their male partner -but this relationship is stronger for men." The aforementioned only reinforces my point that blowing me serves to greatly encourage a more diverse repertoire in bed Performing the act of fellatio on your amazing boyfriend surely includes you in the beneficiary. Recent studies and polls have found that there is indeed a correlation concerning th frequency of knob gobbling and a woman's improved self- esteem. According to the June 2011 issue of The Journal of Adolescent Health, researchers at John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Health conducted a poll, of which the results found that sexual pleasure augments healthy psychological and social development. Researcher Adena Galinsky, Ph.D.'s studies in the poll concluded that the receiving and performing of oral se improved a woman's self-esteem, autonomy, and empathy. Isn't sucky fucky amazing? The frequency of oral sex and intimacy goes hand in hand. I uncontestably declare that sex with foreplay will always eclipse sex lacking thereof. Here's what journalist Gigi Engel from Elite Daily has to say; "Ifyou 're giving a blowjob, you 're serving this other person with no guarantee that you ll receive the same satisfaction. You're giving up your pleasure -and perhaps suffering some discomfort -for the sake of making someone else happy. You 're valuing another person 's pleasure above your own." Giving me brain literally fosters a stronger chain of love, admiration, loyalty, and empathy between both of us. If both opinionated journalists and empirical scientists subscribe to this idea, then surely giving me a blowjob rewards not only me, but you as well Giving me a blowjob is thus proven to encourage a healthier sexual and emotional state. These three points are fueled by both reason and logic, and in my opinion, are substantial evidence to the welfare of my dick. In conclusion,I plead with to whom this essay is explicitly written, that you should smoke my penis. The end. unf0rgivingly: This is the most entertaining thing I think I’ve ever read in my life
Anime, Bootleg, and Booty: Her: baby my ankle hurts Me: I gotchu If a girls over 5”5 and texts you “We gone fight next time I see you” she literally will give you the smack down. It was around the time I was just getting a little clout. I scooped cute baddie but she kinda on the tall side. She avergae more boards than Deandre Jordan of the los angles clippers. She invited me over to her house to chill for the evening. Baby girl opened the door with the shortest booty shorts a nigga ever seen. I can see her booty jiggle as each cheek read “child-Support”. Pulling out was never an option. Laid on the couch we watching bootleg dvds. You know it’s bout to turn real hood in a min. This girl told me she was getting sick from the weather change. It’s funny how a girl be all freaky in the text messages but now all of a sudden she sick. I ain’t fail algebra twice to know something wasn’t adding up. I tried moving my hand down her back, soon as I’m halfway she let out a smoke screen of coughs. Breath Smelled all types of bacterial infections. I love my dick too much to put him through that. Ain’t no Pokémon center nearby here. I couldn’t see no hope in sight when the lord sent me a sign. She tells her beck was hurting. Perfect opportunity to make my move, I offered a massage. I’m working my way down her back when says “if your hand goes down further we gone fight”. Ain’t no serious tone or base in her voice so I’m like bet “Go time”, we really bout to rumble in the jungle. I creep lower when she horse kicks me right in my stomach. I look like a anime character who just got the shit out of him. Staring into space amazed at her strength. I get back up off the ground and tried to put her in the Kurt angle ankle lock. She revered it and had me in some next level Position. Nigga my belly bottom touching the back of my calf. I’m all types of fucked up. I’m looking like some iPhone head phones you pull out your pocket tangled like fuck. I had to tap out. I couldn’t even tap out. I cried out daddy. I ain’t never met the nigga either. Shorty dropped me and kicked me out. I couldn’t move. I came in on hopes and dreams and left on a stretcher. Moral of the story Tall bitches got the hands. ( Follow @Genuineguy & tag 2 friends below)