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Bitch, Confused, and Food: Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat, let's put our cards on the table. No, I've never swiped right before. No, none of these pictures are of me. Yes, I've been on the lamb since '09. I need to know if I can trust you I'm so confused Confused? No. Confused was what I was when walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16. The world doesn't forgive Chrissy. It's a cold, hard bitch What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things: A. Can you provide asylum? B.can you cook? I am lactose intolerant. C. Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy, I took a gamble on you. I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me. Let's see, do you know morse code? Also, you're going to need an alias. How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander. am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin. I will be wearing a disguise when we meet. Look for the signal: will sneeze three times. You pretend to take a call. I will leave; you follow me at a reasonable distance. Is this understood, Brookfield? Yes? Excellent. Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow. We need to be out of the city by sundown. Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans, Brookfield. Not to worry, I'll drive, but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by law enforcement. Side note, food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters, before we leave. What are you making? I will remind you, I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused. It means I'm allergic to dairy products. Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal. No I know what lactose intolerant means... But what's happening in general It's up to you, I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it. not about the food... Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me, Brookfield. I needi you focused, sharp as a tack. Nimble, like a cat None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off. PULL WHAT OFF Read me
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Butt, Friday, and Girls: Good morning gorgeous Mornin ( So I'm writing this book I've been working on it for a while, but I'm just stuck and have been for ages It's called "girls l'll disappoint in my 20's." wanna be in a chapter? Today 10:59 AM Do I get my own chapter? Oh for sure, I've gotta go over everything I could've done differently to make sure thatl don't fuck it up next time 'round Sounds like a lot of work Nah, after disappointing so many times it comes naturally Something you're quite proud of lol What'll be the name of my chapter? Or is that something you name afterwards? Today 12:54 PM Megan all the wrong choices How's that Disappointing You're doing well I can only go up from here My plan is working perfectly Oh? I'm just imagining you sitting there rubbing your hands together like an evil villain lol Oh yeah that's exactly what is happening here. Got my master plan right on track Next step is to make an awful first date and me dress up. n shist is about as nice Nah we're gonna find a nice bridge, cra open a carton of eggs and have some hobo chili Lmfao That sounds interesting Do the eggs go in the chili or do I get to throw them? Nah we throw them at each other, and let our body heat cook them. Just like how they did in the old days SWEET After that we can go to the local fountain and swim for a bit before qetting dessert Today 4:24 PM Can we get beignets? Today 4:42 PM Fine but you're paying Gonna be the worst date ever Ok so long as you're cooking the hobo chili K but in gonna burn it Fair warning When is this date? And there are gonna be a few hairs in it Extra flavor Oh god When are you free? I've got a butt load of work till Friday afternoon : I'm free Friday That works for me Cool Here's my number T Hobo chili
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Facts, News, and Pregnant: Robin Marty @robinmarty Reminder - ABORTION IS STILL LEGAL IN ALABAMA. No one has signed the bill yet. It absolutely will NOT be allowed to go into effect unless #SCOTUS overturns Roe. In real world implications, this is no different than a trigger law. You can still get an abortion legally in Alabama 4:23 AM - 15 May 2019 127 Retweets 220 Likes L 127 2 220 Robin Marty @robinmarty DO tell everyone, all the time, that abortion is legal in every state. DONT allow media outlets to misconstrue what is happening even once signed into law, this simply can't go into effect until we hit the end of Roe. And we aren't quite there yet. 4:39 AM 15 May 2019 16 Retweets 28 Likes ti 16 28 1 Robin Marty @robinmarty Finally, the most important thing you can do is spread good information. Abortion is legal. One in four people who can get pregnant will have one. Everyone knows someone, even if they aren't talking about it. It's not dangerous. It's not evil. It's not the government's business 4:43 AM 15 May 2019 31 Retweets 49 Likes ti 31 49 1 mediamattersforamerica: Alabama’s new anti-abortion legislation is a real threat to Roe v. Wade, and the media has a responsibility to cover it accurately and fairly.This means reporting the facts and making clear that abortion is normal, common, and still legal in all 50 states.Media should refrain from reporting on the spectacle and sensationalizing the news. It’s irresponsible and dangerous and prevents folks from seeking the abortion care they need and deserve.

mediamattersforamerica: Alabama’s new anti-abortion legislation is a real threat to Roe v. Wade, and the media has a responsibility to cove...

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Bad, Definitely, and Google: //sample ansvers from various interviews 178//Question: Write code to find out if a nunber is odd. 179 //Candidate: Qk give me a minute sounds of typing 180 /Candidate: My ansver is voice changes noticeably from speaking-voice to reading-voice //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 182 //Me suspecting that the candi 183 I/Candidate: It means that ve find the percentage of i in 2 googled it*: ok, and can you explain to me what does that line mean? 2 Why are ve f 14 //I walked the candidate through this code carefully single"in the last two lines. This is a candidate who had 8 years total experience twice. There are no typos, not the " 1", and not the 186 //Me "with a nice voice but nalicious intent* : I understand that it is complicated. Have you ever used this tore //Candidate "with obvious reliet: No,never! This is my first tine using it 18 /Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 100; rtil) 193 194 //Question: Find all the odd numbers between 0-100 //Candidate: I am sorry, I have forgotten the exact formala for finding odd numbers 23 //candidate said that finding only the odd numbers was too difficult, and this nethod will find ALL numbers, so 196 /Candidate: I understand, but I cannot recall the formala, so I cannot find these numbers 27 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100 200 /Question: Can you tell me about your professional history? //candidate: I try my absolute best to make ธure that my code does not have too many errors before I take it 29 30 the odd numbers between 0 and 205 /Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of coreot'hinunitt? completely the odd numbers between 0-100 211 I/Me: And if I fixed the syntax errors, will it work then? 213 214 //Me: And why is that2 //Candidate: It has logic errors, too you like //Candidate: I have been programming for 10 years. 5 years as a hobby, and 5 professionally. know PHP, Ruby JS (including both node, angular), MongoDB, Myso, PostgresoL, and more /Me: Nice. What have //candidate: In the 5 years where I worked professionally, I have worked in 4 companies as a webdex. I have multiples sites up, all done from scratch. Some I developed solo, and sone as part of a team. I do both front-end and back-end development. I am ready to tackle any challenge! /Me: ok. using your language of choice, can you find all the odd numbers between 0-1002 7 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betwveen 0-100 you used your skills for? 50 I/I asked the candidate what this code was supposed to do, and the candidate replied: "I do not want to ansver 1 //So I tried again. Same candidate, next question: Find the sun of all integers betveen 0-100 3 //Me:"Ok and if I wanted this done in Javascript? more than this." 222 //Candidate: tries for about 3 minutes 223 I/Candidate: I cannot do this. My skill in mathematics is not high enough 6 I/This was the most experienced candidate, with 19 years of professional experience. Nineteen, no typo. This 226 candidate was programming professionally before many of you were born. /This situation happened with two different candidates. Their responses were worded differently, but the was the same //Me: Ok, I want to ask you a couple of programming questions. Do you have a paper and pen or pencil with you? 0 //Question: Assuming you have two integers, x and y, with y bigger than x. Sum all the numbers from x to y 230 //Me: ok.Using your preferred programming language, find all the odd nunbers between 0 and 1002 Example: If x is 1, and y is 5, then sum 1+2+3+4+5 232 /Me: Yes. Write your code down, and when you are done, read it to me, and then ve can go through it 233 //Candidate: But that is impossible! How can I write code without using a computer? 4+i 237 //Question: Find all the odd numbers betveen 0-100. Note that this was a phone interview 67 //What is happening here? Your guess is as good as mine. Candidate had no idea what this code was supposed to do 239 IMe: I am trying to test your programming skills, not your Google-search skills 240 //Candidate: Baha, right! But İf 1 use Google, how will you know? 241 /Me: I wil1 ask you similar questions in the face-to-face interview 1 //Question: Count down from 700 to 200 in decrements of 13 246 //One of the worst interviews that I had, that made me feel genuinely bad, was this one.I tried to capture the mood of how it went, as I did not get to see any code Some of the actions I describe are what I assume happened on the other end of the phone, based on the sounds that I heard //Me: Greetings! Thanks for letting me interview you. Are you ready and prepared? 247 249 //Me: Alright! Let us start. *İntroductions and a bit of relaxing amantalk, candidate is very cool. Qk, so your resume lists about 5 different programming languages.Are you good in all of them /candidate: I am good in Javaacript and PHP, and ak in Java 81 //Out of curiosity, I asked: "Why is the answer a double?" 82 //Candidate "Because it needs to store the value taken from _two variables. so which is your f 252 //Candidate: Definitely avascript! I did a lot of work in Javascript! 253 /Me: That is good. Can I ask you a question or two in Tavascript 6 //Make a standard deck of cards. Shuftle the deck, and draw two cards at random. Display the two cards Are you 256 //candidate: Yes, yes. I am on the line! ask you a questi can try my best to ansver gentle gloves, ve are not trying to break the candidate Qk. so you know what odd are, right? for (let count Yes Yes,I know odd number 261 /Me: ok. so ny question is this. Using your favourite language, Javascript, can you find all the odd numbers 8 //This was slowly and painstak used for the second part which only had two cards, while no loop was used for the cards... but I decided against the odd numbers ok. Why don't you t then read fter you are //Candidate 'excited and breathless: YES! Yes,yes! scribbling/scratching for about two minutes, then some furious scribbling for a minute, then the fast breathing, but no seribbling sounds 1 1/9uestion: Find all the odd numbers betuween 03 05 assuming x and lieve the candidate put the phone down, and started writing. I could hear some gentl y, someone crossing out many lines on a paper. Then came a minute /Candidate "voice completely broken //Me "making a fatal error of judgement by asking: Is everything ak the odd numbers...uhh think..L the odd... the odd nunbers alm, polite email, much later that this time I regret that I must decline the perplexing, let me Candidate takes the last once to make not, then you add you add odd, then you add 2 Disregarding the sundry minor errors in the code, the logic behind functional, but ribly inefficient two cards at random. Display the two cards 27 var arr-i,2,3, 4,5, 6,7,,9,10,.0K' ar arrl ar two- 36 t (pos arr pos 50 51 52 ition] push (arrti for (wamath finalArr var indexeeArr.indexof (nevArrti] val 72 //Behold this masterpiece! Read it slow and savour every 1ine, for beauties like this come once fetine SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

SWE interview in Saudi Arabia

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Books, Energy, and Music: This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It's like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and l create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes when l am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals-sounds that say listen to this, it is important So write with a combination of short, medium, and long sentences. Create a sound that pleases the reader's ear. Don't just write words. Write music. Gary Provost sol1056: scripturient-manipulator: bookmania: Seven years after, I see you again 😚 Guys this completely changed my writing, heed it. I often do an entire draft just looking at sentence variation and oftentimes the results are absolutely transformative in the difference. If I were to list everything from Gary Provost that changed my writing, I’d just be quoting all his books back at you. If you can find a copy of Make Every Word Count, get it, read it. None of this navel-gazing about creativity; he gets into the weeds of how to use words to create stories. Brilliant stuff.

sol1056: scripturient-manipulator: bookmania: Seven years after, I see you again 😚 Guys this completely changed my writing, heed it. I ...

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Cookies, Creepy, and God: themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.” ‘‘Tis the season
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