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Winter, Heat, and Personal: Juniper spends most of the winter basking in the heat of her personal belly warmer.

Juniper spends most of the winter basking in the heat of her personal belly warmer.

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Dad, Flexing, and Internet: So I've been ruining my kids lives by saying "weird flex but ok to everything and when I do it they scream no and tell ma they're running away and I made this lovely photo lemme get it Weird flex but ok Ok so I need some help coming up with the absolute worst "to flex on" live memes ever to pretend Im an even more really lame parent. they don't have to make sense but they need to be absolutely awful yet believable enough that it isn't obvious Im intentionaly trying to be more lame Here's the ones I came up with so far "You ever just eat a well balanced diet and exercise daily to flex on heart disease? You ever just bol chilies to flex on your eyes? You ever just be cool to flex on your kids? "You ever just use sanitzer to flex on 99.9% of all bacteria and viruses?" You ever just turn all the lights and up the heater to flex on Dad? Catholic edition: You ever just ike recelve the sacraments frequently to flex on Satan? You ever just lke love your Mom to flex on Protestants? So l executed the first one in the kitchen then I dabbed and my son didn't say anything he just set down his pomegranate and walked out the front door with no shoes on and now he's walking down the street Ok so I walked down the block and I found him Update "'11 Boost令 9:36 PM That photo of u made it around the internet and you're famous Do you have a message from your fans. They want to hear from you Delivered Sen Help Message 0 Your son is named Egg Every part of this is hilarious 18,547 notes The kind of parent I aspire to be

The kind of parent I aspire to be

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Clothes, Comfortable, and Crying: professorpineapple you're an art model does that mean you're NAKED? yeah whoa....those lucky artists:)" .buddy professorpineapple idk who started the idea that life drawing classes have anything sexy going on like there's at least ten people in the room and we're all tired and covered in charcoal the dude in front who's staring at my boobs has been trying to get the shading right for 10 minutes. he's almost out of paint. he is crying askfordoodles burg branch-and-root The ice burg being frozen solid because there are NEVER ENOUGH SPACE HEATERS angryfishtrap I was an artist's model in uni since it paid better than any other student work position. Did a life drawing class one semester despite it being an unheated old building in the winter evenings, because the instructor was a decent fellow who always had extra space heaters. So there I am one evening, exhausted from my team's afternoon practice but I'm in a comfortable position on a padded stool, ready to hold the position for like fifteen minutes. Space heaters all around me spotlights on me to get shadows in interesting places. Beyond the red glow of the heaters and the hot-white of the spotlights, the massive drafty room is dark and quiet, broken only by the instructor's whispers and the scratch of charcoal on paper. Me, I'm just dozing, cause my ancient dorm was heated with creaky old steampipes that never really got warm, and with the new extra-powered space heater alongside the others, that night was the warmest l'd been in a month. I dozed, basking in the glorious warmth. And then I fell asleep. And then I fell off the stool. I woke up rather abruptly on the cold wooden platform, and looked up to see an entire ring of terrified and worried faces around me Everyone had their hands up, ready to help me up, except no one had touched me. Naked chick laid out face-down on the floor, and all the men and women were suddenly acutely aware they couldn't just grab a half-asleep dazed naked chick. Fortunately someone had the bright idea to tear the sheet down from the backdrop, lay it over me as a wrap, and then everyone was quick to help me up. After that, the instructor and students got used to taking turns talking to me, just to make sure I wasn't dozing off. Which was weird, at first, because l'd done two semesters just being a silent prop, and now I was interacting. It gave the class a vibe completely unlike any other I'd modeled for and it ended up one of my favorite modeling experiences. postscript: months later, walking on campus with someone who'd eventually become my spouse, we passed some guys on the main path. One of them stopped, peered at me and then said hello, excitedly, saying, "sorry, I didn't recognize you, I've never seen you with your clothes on! whitebear-ofthe-watertribe This is honestly so delightful and accurate thenightingalelily The only situation where saying "T've never seen you with your clothes on" is a completely normal thing to say Source: professorpineapple Art modelling
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Animals, Drugs, and Facts: WTF fun fact #8083 The use of bowls to house goldfish comes from a misunderstanding of Chinese display vessels-small, temporary containers to show guests goldfish that were otherwise housed in ponds. Fishbowls are so detrimental to goldfish health that they are prohibited by places like Rome for animal cruelty flashiefins: optometrictzedek: wtf-fun-factss: Why you shouldn’t put goldfish in a bowl - WTF fun facts By the way, bettas are the same. It’s a myth that they live  in puddles. Wild bettas live in rice patties that look like this:  And you know how males fight in captivity? Yeah see, in the wild, each male betta has a territory of roughly one square meter [X]. That’s over 260 gallons of water per betta! Of course they’ll fight in a tiny 1 gallon tank! (The myth about puddles exists because, in the dry season, a betta may get trapped in a puddle, and it is equipped to survive that, but only for a short period of time). Also, notice how much is growing in that water - bettas need a lot of places to hide in and rest on, not just a single bamboo shoot in  the center of a vase! They will get stressed and even more aggressive without the hides. Fish are animals just like your other pets. Do your research before buying and treat them appropriately. If you can’t afford a proper betta or goldfish set up (at LEAST 5 gallons for a betta with a heater and hides, at LEAST 20 gallons for a goldfish with a strong filtering system and NO GRAVEL, and I recommend adding at least 10 gallons to those minimums for healthy and happy fish), don’t get one. They are living things, not decor pieces. Here is more information on how to properly care for:Goldfish: 1 2 3 4  Bettas: 1 2 3 

flashiefins: optometrictzedek: wtf-fun-factss: Why you shouldn’t put goldfish in a bowl - WTF fun facts By the way, bettas are the same....

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Advice, Anaconda, and Bad: Hello, it's Namjoon. It's my first time doing an audio message so l'm not sure what to say. Everyone is doing okay, right? Our schedule have been busy these days but we're doing alright. As usual, I go here and there whenever I have free time to get some inspiration and thoughts. I think that I'm becoming a better version of myself. Our ARMYs might have lots of different problems but like what I said in my acceptance speech - ah not my acceptance speech but what I said in the concert is sincere I can't personally advice you on how to overcome your problems since we have different circumstances in life but I am here to listen to you. If your problems are at 100 and our existence can reduce it to 99, 98. then that's how I want to be. Even if we get a little tired but if we can be your strength then we'll gladly give you strength, that's right. The weather is getting really cold (computer sound, aigoo the computer always makes a ding dong sound), always dress yourself warmly. And since there's a lot of fine dust, protect your throat too. I've been recording earlier so my throat feels a litte hoarse. I want to see and talk to you in person but I can't do that yet. Always be healthy and although we won't always be able to find happiness and have happy days, I wish that there will be happier days. I'm really thankful. I know that I will have to do something else more than saying, "I'll work hard." But regardless, I will work hard. If you're listening to this before going to bed, I wish that you will have a good sleep and let's see each other in the dream that you'll be having. After listening to this, I wish that you're day will be happier and I hope that this made your day better, like the feeling of taking off your contact lenses after a long day. I'm not sure but there are a lot of things that can make your day better, like when the room heater is at the right temperature. I wish that you'll have a lot of those moments. Have a good night, I'm wishing for a lot of happy days for you. You did well today, I love you. mimibtsghost: IF YOU HAVING A BAD DAY, THESE WISE COMFORTING WORDS FROM NAMJOON MAY CHANGE THAT! |  flyhigh_twt
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Cats, Memes, and Winter: Cats coven winter meeting Follow @9gagcute - heater cult warm winter

Cats coven winter meeting Follow @9gagcute - heater cult warm winter

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