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phantomemes: starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary . ‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’ ‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’ ‘  you are teaching me to love  ’ ‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’ ‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’ ‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’ ‘  you are my good days  ’ ‘  i have been loved dearly  ’ ‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’ ‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’ ‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’ ‘  there will always be another day  ’ ‘  there will always be another mercy  ’ ‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’ ‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’ ‘  i am terrified for you  ’ ‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’ ‘  today i am thankful  ’ ‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’ ‘  come and get me  ’ ‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’ ‘  i think i broke again last night  ’ ‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’ ‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’ ‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’ ‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’ ‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’ ‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’ ‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’ ‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’ ‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’ ‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’ ‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’ ‘  this life is an altar  ’ ‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’ ‘  there is a mountain in me  ’ ‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’ ‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’ ‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’ ‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’ ‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’ ‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’ ‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’ ‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’ ‘  you scare me a little  ’ ‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’ ‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’ ‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’ ‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’ ‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’ ‘  there is never an end  ’ : phantomemes: starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary . ‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’ ‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’ ‘  you are teaching me to love  ’ ‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’ ‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’ ‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’ ‘  you are my good days  ’ ‘  i have been loved dearly  ’ ‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’ ‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’ ‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’ ‘  there will always be another day  ’ ‘  there will always be another mercy  ’ ‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’ ‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’ ‘  i am terrified for you  ’ ‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’ ‘  today i am thankful  ’ ‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’ ‘  come and get me  ’ ‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’ ‘  i think i broke again last night  ’ ‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’ ‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’ ‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’ ‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’ ‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’ ‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’ ‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’ ‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’ ‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’ ‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’ ‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’ ‘  this life is an altar  ’ ‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’ ‘  there is a mountain in me  ’ ‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’ ‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’ ‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’ ‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’ ‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’ ‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’ ‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’ ‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’ ‘  you scare me a little  ’ ‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’ ‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’ ‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’ ‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’ ‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’ ‘  there is never an end  ’

phantomemes: starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses...

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ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges: ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges

ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure fal...

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clothing-references: clothing-references: This isn’t related to my blog aesthetic but I’m tired of seeing posts where people are making others paranoid that they’re in a coma or something. You’re not. I know lots of us know it’s just a bad “joke,” but some people don’t have the luxury of being able to believe that after seeing others tell them otherwise. You’re awake. Everything is okay. Hey so I’ve been dealing with some horrible cases of dissociation recently. It makes me think things that don’t make sense. I wanted to bring this post back and add onto it. Your life is real. You are awake. You aren’t lying on the ground or anything. No one is desperately trying to wake you. I am one person living in Houston who made this post. I am a living, conscious breathing person and if I made this post and it reaches you, that means you are, too. You didn’t imagine this post up. I made it two years ago. You aren’t dead. You aren’t seeing things. That light headed feeling is just a symptom. This isn’t a dream and you are going to be okay. I believe in you and I hope you get through this. : clothing-references: clothing-references: This isn’t related to my blog aesthetic but I’m tired of seeing posts where people are making others paranoid that they’re in a coma or something. You’re not. I know lots of us know it’s just a bad “joke,” but some people don’t have the luxury of being able to believe that after seeing others tell them otherwise. You’re awake. Everything is okay. Hey so I’ve been dealing with some horrible cases of dissociation recently. It makes me think things that don’t make sense. I wanted to bring this post back and add onto it. Your life is real. You are awake. You aren’t lying on the ground or anything. No one is desperately trying to wake you. I am one person living in Houston who made this post. I am a living, conscious breathing person and if I made this post and it reaches you, that means you are, too. You didn’t imagine this post up. I made it two years ago. You aren’t dead. You aren’t seeing things. That light headed feeling is just a symptom. This isn’t a dream and you are going to be okay. I believe in you and I hope you get through this.

clothing-references: clothing-references: This isn’t related to my blog aesthetic but I’m tired of seeing posts where people are making...

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It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake .... ...... Jake, 27 Jake, 27 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away We may fight, but please don't try and solve the argument with regular soda. It won't take racial inequality to get me down on one knee. I prefer diet; we both know you are all the sugar I need. niftyshadesofjake University of Southern California niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona USC CLASS OF 2022 3,401 FRESHME 0% ganted Ethically granted admission APPLICATIO Jake, 29 Jake 28 O less than a mile away less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help I'm having trouble picking a costume. Want to help? my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting. Swipe right if you are a fan of getting boned. niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona .. let 6'0" A Caded in 5'6" 5'0" your cave of wonders POLICE DEPT. 4'6" (480) 627-9186 4'0" Yes Please Jake Arredondo 3'6" Jake, 29 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away Tired of guys lying about their height? Here is government proof I am at least 6ft. I promise that it will take more than a few rubs for anything to come out of my magic lamp. For our first date, you cook our dinner, and I will cook the meth. niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona You ok Jake, 29 Still Single O less than a mile away Jake, 27 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell). I can relate to the current bachelor. I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should probably start taking dating seriously. Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart. If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just swipe left. This is the first one I had ever created (bad quality). This joke took 1,000+ hours to máke. niftyshadesofjake et niftyshadesofjake Hmargemadders.com Make America Accessible Again Jake, 24 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away About Jake I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my new company, Largeladders.com If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want me to pay for dinner Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into your arms. It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

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appropriately-inappropriate: you-cannot-shut-me-up: talvin-muircastle: signoraviolettavalery: haunted-meat: dennator25: So this seems dumb…and it is…but it’s dumb with a purpose. I can almost guarantee you the exact line of reasoning that gets NASA engineers to 100. Ok, first of all assume the worst and assume she needs the max amount of tampons possible for all days. Now lets count it up. 7 days? Better be safe and make it 10. 3 tampons a day at worst? Better be safe and make it 5. So that gives us 50 tampons. Ok. Double it. And that’s how you get 100. It’s ridiculous, but NASA has a culture of “overengineer absolutely everything to do with human safety, and then design around it” which is actually pretty cool. Listen, I know this gets made fun of so much, but likeI am a woman who has periods and I have absolutely no idea how many tampons a woman requires in a week. I use primarily pads. But these men, at the least, ASKED her instead of making unfounded assumptions. Which would you rather be: A. The NASA Director Who Sent Too Many? B. The NASA Director Who Didn’t Send Enough? Fair point. It’ not like she could’ve popped over to the corner drugstore to buy more! Not to mention — space is a hostile environment with multiple dangers, so having multiple redundancies is a bonus. Tampons, being ultra-absorbent, reasonably clean, and conveniently sized, can be used to staunch nosebleeds, or could be used to block a leak in a pipe. You never know what you’ll need until you need it, and weirder shit has saved lives at NASA. : Sophia Benoit @1followernodad ok here's the deal. Yes it was dumb of NASA to ask Sally Ride if she needed 100 tampons for a 7-day mission, but I would have said "Actually I need 250" because that's free tampons from the government, babbbbyyy. 10:22 PM Aug 16, 2019 Twitter Web App appropriately-inappropriate: you-cannot-shut-me-up: talvin-muircastle: signoraviolettavalery: haunted-meat: dennator25: So this seems dumb…and it is…but it’s dumb with a purpose. I can almost guarantee you the exact line of reasoning that gets NASA engineers to 100. Ok, first of all assume the worst and assume she needs the max amount of tampons possible for all days. Now lets count it up. 7 days? Better be safe and make it 10. 3 tampons a day at worst? Better be safe and make it 5. So that gives us 50 tampons. Ok. Double it. And that’s how you get 100. It’s ridiculous, but NASA has a culture of “overengineer absolutely everything to do with human safety, and then design around it” which is actually pretty cool. Listen, I know this gets made fun of so much, but likeI am a woman who has periods and I have absolutely no idea how many tampons a woman requires in a week. I use primarily pads. But these men, at the least, ASKED her instead of making unfounded assumptions. Which would you rather be: A. The NASA Director Who Sent Too Many? B. The NASA Director Who Didn’t Send Enough? Fair point. It’ not like she could’ve popped over to the corner drugstore to buy more! Not to mention — space is a hostile environment with multiple dangers, so having multiple redundancies is a bonus. Tampons, being ultra-absorbent, reasonably clean, and conveniently sized, can be used to staunch nosebleeds, or could be used to block a leak in a pipe. You never know what you’ll need until you need it, and weirder shit has saved lives at NASA.
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skitpost: final project for my jewish studies class ! the assignment was to answer the question, “WHAT IS JEWISH ART?” after spending the semester studying jewish artists from the 20th century, so here are my thoughts on the intersection of art and identity. goyim can interact w this post but don’t clown in the comments thx : WHAT IS JEWISH ART? El DOES THAT MAKE ALL OF My ART "JE WISH ART"? I AM AN ARTIST. I AM A JEW. | HOPE NOT. I K NOW THAT THESÉ ARE NOT "JE WISH ART"; EVEN THOUGH I, A JEWISH ARTIST, MADE THEM. Bur i STILL DbONT kNow WHAT MAKES "JE WISH ART " JEWISH. 64:ME B4i ME 00 BY:ME BUT WHAT IF ITs NOT! RECOGNIZABLE I CAN MAKE My ART JEWISH ON PURPOSE, To My VIEWERS? B4: ME WHAT IF ONLY I SEE IT AS JEWISH ART, AND NO BOby ELSE DOES? IS IT STILL JEWISH ART? AND WHEN I MAKE my ART JEWISH ON PURPOSE, WHAT IS IT THATI DO TO MAKE IT JEWISH? WHAT'S JEWISH ABOUT JEWISH ART! A GROUPS CULTURE IS VERY DEPENDANT ON ITS LOCATION OF ORIGIN, So WHAT UNIFIES A GROUP WHOSE ORIGINS HAVE BEEN LERASED WHEN YOU SPEND YOUR WHOTE HISTDRY RUNNING, WHERE DO YOU COME FROM? SURVIVAL REQUIRES ADAPTATION, AND you NEVER KNOW *WHEN BEING IPENTIFIABLY JEWISH IS DANGEROUS, so JEWISH ART IS CLOAKED IN THE I THINK THE COMMON THREAD IN JEWISH ART IS THAT THERE ISNT ONE. WORLD IN WHICH IT WAS CREATED THE ONLY TRADITION TO JEWISH ART IS THAT THERE IS NONE. IF AN ART PIECE ISNT IMMEDIATELY EXPUCITLY JEWISH, ITS JEWISHNESS IS UNIQUE TO EVERY VIEWER. АД AND SO JEWISH ART IS DEFINED BY ITS INA BILITY TO BE DEFINED, A PAR ADOX THAT RAISES MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS. BUT THAT SOUNDS PRETTY JEWISH TO ME. SO IF AN ART PIELE MAKES You ASK, 0"IS THIS JEWISHART? 1IT SURE AS HELL MIGHT BE. THE MOST JEWISH ANSWER TO A QUESTION IS ANOTHER QUESTION. BUT IF IT MAKES YOu ASK "WHAT MAKES JE WISH ART JEWISH?" WHAT ENISH ART? WHAT'S JEWISH ABDUT JEWISH ARTS T.ALMOŞT CERTAINLY IS JEWISH? NOT. skitpost: final project for my jewish studies class ! the assignment was to answer the question, “WHAT IS JEWISH ART?” after spending the semester studying jewish artists from the 20th century, so here are my thoughts on the intersection of art and identity. goyim can interact w this post but don’t clown in the comments thx

skitpost: final project for my jewish studies class ! the assignment was to answer the question, “WHAT IS JEWISH ART?” after spending th...

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A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona Dating Apps Premium 2019 WRAPPED You have spent some serious time being single. Here is how much time you have spent on dating apps over the last 5 years. Let's hope you are single due to your personality, because the alternative is you are ugly. Top Dates Sarah S. Top Lies You Told Girls Your cat is cute 69,617 mins I love The Office I'm only talking to you I rarely drink You aren't like the other girls Laura T. Samantha R. Melissa R. 103,648 mins Stephanie M. 53,011 107,107 Top Hair Color Minutes on Dates mins 118,659 mins mins 3,600 Brunette 2017 2019 2018 2016 2015 niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona Scottsdale, Arizona In perfect harmony You were pretty desperate. USC CLASS OF 2022 You discovered 304 new girls this year. But you really didn't vibe with anyone. 3,401 0% anted You didn't swipe right on one specific type of girl. Below is what you look for most in a match. Ethically FRESHME admission APPLICATIO You created 38 new profile pictures, watched 4 girls report you for being inappropriate, and spent 65 hours debating if you should give up on dating and get a dog. Jake, 29 O less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Has a pulse and will give you attention. Cute Face Jake, 29 O less than a mile away Little Waist As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell), I can relate to the current bachelor. Big Behind Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Good Personality Jake 28 O less than a mile away Ladies, if I can do this to Leo, imagine what I can do to you. : A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”

A full story for “If Tinder had a year in review like Spotify does.”

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