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Weirdest Memes

The Internets
The Internets
The
The
Todays
Todays
Sleep In
Sleep In
And
And
Hell Yes
Hell Yes
gorgeous girl
gorgeous girl
noticing
noticing
concert
concert
dollars
dollars 

    
                    

                

            
        
    

    
    
    






            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    
                    
                    

                        


	


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                            People on Twitter are posting the 5 weirdest jobs they've had for this meme
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
        
            
                

                    

                        
                        
                        
                    

                    
                    

                        
                            'What would you do if we kissed' meme has people imagining the weirdest places to smooch
                        
                    

                    
                

            
        
    
    






    

    
    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            



        

    

    

    

        

            




    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        Tumblr, Blog, and Fun: lolzandtrollz:Some people have fun in the weirdest way…
        

            
            

                
                
                    Tumblr, Blog, and Fun: lolzandtrollz:Some people have fun in the weirdest way…
                    
                
            

            
                
                
lolzandtrollz:Some people have fun in the weirdest way…

                
            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
        

            
            

                
                
                    Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Being Alone, Beautiful, and Candy: thatsqaualivstut
 we were taking our math test and i turned around and
 can we just talk about not only whatever is all over that girl's face, but
 the guy charging his phone in the back and the kid on the right who
 looks like he's in immense pain
 this picture is like the perfect description of school tho
 mvrtlewilson:
 fun fact one time i auditioned for a play and the character called for a
 russian accent and i did mine for the director and got the part and
 she stopped me on my way out and asked my how i got it so
 believable sounding and i didn't have the heart to tell her it was
 because of the amount of time i spend imitating chekov from star trek
 when i'm home alone
 I'm nominated for an acting award at my school now because of this
 willyumbeckett
 one time this guy in my class drew a penis on the blackboard with a
 permanent marker and continued the drawing with an erasable
 marker and made it to be a cat and my english teacher wanted to
 write on the blackboard so she tried to erase the drawing and the cat
 went away and all that was left was a penis and we all cried laughing
 and she just sighed and said "its so small
 that is a beautiful story
 ensenshnackles:
 This one time when I was about 13 I got swine flu and had to stay off
 school for 2 weeks. While I was off somebody spread a rumour that I
 wasn't there because I'd been hit by a truck and died. So when I came
 back into school I walked into English class and everybody started
 screaming and I cried.
 frickerstein
 today in american lit a kid fell asleep and my teacher got up and told us to
 follow him and so we all left the room and he changed the clock so it was
 like 6pm and like 10 minutes later the kid ran into the hallway with his
 backpack and we were all sitting at the end and he just sat down in the
 middle of the hallway and started to cry
 nosdrinker
 my english teacher accused me of plagiarizing an essay i wrote
 about my own life
 my friend got accused of plagiarizing in junior high because she used the
 word "sweets" instead of "candy and our teacher thought that the word
 sweets was "too advanced for our vocabulary"
 gothbaby
 once i scraped my knee in 3rd grade and a weird girl who was obsessed
 with horses was like "hold on" then she started crying and dropped tears
 on my knee then she was like "pegasus tears heal wounds
 awkwardvagina:
 in middle school we had to do a discussion about our family and a girl in
 my class stood up to talk about her family and she said she lived with her
 mum and sister, one of the kids asked about her dad and she said that he
 had died, so being curious i asked what happened to him and she turned
 her head, look directly at me and said in the most serious tone ever "he
 got in my way" and that was the moment i learnt what true fear is
 lydiasexual
 one time in my health class we were going over sex ed and someone
 mentioned that the word "testify" came from the fact that men would
 swear on their testicles during a testimony way back when and someone
 asked what girls say and this girl next to me whispered "I breastify and
 the teacher laughed so hard and let us leave 15 minutes early
 vardaesque
 hOLY SHIT SO TODAY IN CLASS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING SHIT
 HAPPENED
 a bee got into my class and everyone was freaking out, so all of a
 sudden, this kid goes "I GOT IT and he fucking pulls out a RUBBER
 FUCKING BAND AND SHOOTS IT THE FUCK DOWN IN ONE TRY
 MY TEACHER JUST STOOD THERE NOBODY KNEW HOW TO
 REACT
 son I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative
 See what's trending at FUNsubstance.com
Jajaja
        

            
            

                
                
                    Being Alone, Beautiful, and Candy: thatsqaualivstut
 we were taking our math test and i turned around and
 can we just talk about not only whatever is all over that girl's face, but
 the guy charging his phone in the back and the kid on the right who
 looks like he's in immense pain
 this picture is like the perfect description of school tho
 mvrtlewilson:
 fun fact one time i auditioned for a play and the character called for a
 russian accent and i did mine for the director and got the part and
 she stopped me on my way out and asked my how i got it so
 believable sounding and i didn't have the heart to tell her it was
 because of the amount of time i spend imitating chekov from star trek
 when i'm home alone
 I'm nominated for an acting award at my school now because of this
 willyumbeckett
 one time this guy in my class drew a penis on the blackboard with a
 permanent marker and continued the drawing with an erasable
 marker and made it to be a cat and my english teacher wanted to
 write on the blackboard so she tried to erase the drawing and the cat
 went away and all that was left was a penis and we all cried laughing
 and she just sighed and said "its so small
 that is a beautiful story
 ensenshnackles:
 This one time when I was about 13 I got swine flu and had to stay off
 school for 2 weeks. While I was off somebody spread a rumour that I
 wasn't there because I'd been hit by a truck and died. So when I came
 back into school I walked into English class and everybody started
 screaming and I cried.
 frickerstein
 today in american lit a kid fell asleep and my teacher got up and told us to
 follow him and so we all left the room and he changed the clock so it was
 like 6pm and like 10 minutes later the kid ran into the hallway with his
 backpack and we were all sitting at the end and he just sat down in the
 middle of the hallway and started to cry
 nosdrinker
 my english teacher accused me of plagiarizing an essay i wrote
 about my own life
 my friend got accused of plagiarizing in junior high because she used the
 word "sweets" instead of "candy and our teacher thought that the word
 sweets was "too advanced for our vocabulary"
 gothbaby
 once i scraped my knee in 3rd grade and a weird girl who was obsessed
 with horses was like "hold on" then she started crying and dropped tears
 on my knee then she was like "pegasus tears heal wounds
 awkwardvagina:
 in middle school we had to do a discussion about our family and a girl in
 my class stood up to talk about her family and she said she lived with her
 mum and sister, one of the kids asked about her dad and she said that he
 had died, so being curious i asked what happened to him and she turned
 her head, look directly at me and said in the most serious tone ever "he
 got in my way" and that was the moment i learnt what true fear is
 lydiasexual
 one time in my health class we were going over sex ed and someone
 mentioned that the word "testify" came from the fact that men would
 swear on their testicles during a testimony way back when and someone
 asked what girls say and this girl next to me whispered "I breastify and
 the teacher laughed so hard and let us leave 15 minutes early
 vardaesque
 hOLY SHIT SO TODAY IN CLASS THE WEIRDEST FUCKING SHIT
 HAPPENED
 a bee got into my class and everyone was freaking out, so all of a
 sudden, this kid goes "I GOT IT and he fucking pulls out a RUBBER
 FUCKING BAND AND SHOOTS IT THE FUCK DOWN IN ONE TRY
 MY TEACHER JUST STOOD THERE NOBODY KNEW HOW TO
 REACT
 son I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative
 See what's trending at FUNsubstance.com
Jajaja
                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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        Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?



        

            
            

                
                
                    Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?



                    
                
            

            
            
        

    

    

        
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