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Driving, Friends, and Fuck You: today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said "thanks" and half of me tried to say you're welcome and the other half tried to say "no problem and i ended up saying "your problem Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext playing soccer in gym ball is up in the air think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal -try miss bal >kick goale in the face stry to ask Are you okay and "I'm fucking sorry at the same time sinstead end up yelling "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY? goalie is choking back tears this post had me in tears I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they're not, so i'll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs: I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between "I have to pay a fine" and "I have to pay a fee" and I walked in and firmly stated "I have to pee" and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago andI still haven't been back, My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so l tried to say "quick" and "fast" at the same time and I ended up screaming "QUACK" which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn philip-the-nickel in volleyball in tenth grade my team lost almost every single game but PRAYING that we would win and all of my teammates started cheering but instead of yelling encouragement I accidentally yelled "DEAR this one time we were ahead and I was sitting on the bench literally for my friend who was about to serve and I tried to join in the cheers HEAVENLY FATHER one of my friends (ankesh) was playing soccer and was about to get nailed in the face and another of my friends tried to say "watch out ankesh" and said "WONKESH" I was in the car with my sister and we were arguing and I was caught between yelling "fight me" and "fuck you" at her, so I just ended up screaming "FUCK ME!" at her aRe YoU fUcKiNg SoRrY?
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Anaconda, Andrew Bogut, and Bored: Kate Crawford @katecrawford Following Meanwhile, Amazon's latest patent is for Alexa to detect when people are sick, bored or unhappy. "Alexa would listen out for if users are crying and then class them as experiencing an "emotional abnormality telegraph.co.uk/technology/201 132 130 Alexa, "cough I'm hung sniffle 120 100 Would you lke a recipe for chicken soup? No, thanks 134 Ok, I can find you something else. By the way, would you like o order cough drops with 1 hour delivery? That wouki be awesome Thanks for asking! 110 No probiem. Pil email you an order confirmation. Feel better! 7:54 AM 10 Oct 2018 570 Retweets 655 Likes imaginedsoldier: the-tired-tenor: tankies: Me: *crying* Alexa: This seems sad, now playing Despacito Y’all need to have a greater degree of 1- healthy suspicion in Alexa and corporate surveillance devices personal assistants, and 2- understanding of how dangerous this kind of algorithm is in the hands of a multinational company (and anyone for that matter.)  To begin with, that data is both available for sale and able to be subpoenaed by the government. Alexa’s records and recordings have already been used in criminal trials. In the US, a digital record of your emotional patterns can be used to deny you housing, jobs, and to rule on your ability to exercise your basic rights. Consider that psychiatric stigma and misdiagnosis can already be wielded against you in legal disputes and the notion of a listening device capable of identifying signs of distress for the purpose of marketing to you should be made more clearly concerning.  Moreover we have already seen the use of algorithms like this on Facebook and other “self-reporting” (read: user input) sites capable of identifying the onset of a manic episode [1] [2] [3], which have been subsequently been linked to identifying vulnerable (high-spending) periods to target ads at these users, perhaps most famously in selling tickets to Vegas (identified in a TedTalk by  techno-sociological scholar Zeynep Tufekci where she more generally discusses algorithms and how they shape our online experiences to suggest and reinforce biases).  The notes on this post are super concerning- we are being marketed to under the guise of having our emotional needs attended to by the same people who inflicted that emptiness on us, and everyone is just memeing.

imaginedsoldier: the-tired-tenor: tankies: Me: *crying* Alexa: This seems sad, now playing Despacito Y’all need to have a greater degre...

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