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Advice, Brains, and Coca-Cola: Peanut butter spaceorphan18: sulkingheals: downtroddendeity: jacemp3: monkeysaysficus: audrey-hepbae: catchymemes: 10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food. By Blossom The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week.  I WANNA DRINK THE TRANSPARENT SODA leave milk out unrefrigerated in your house for 2 days Some days ago, my sibling sent me this video out of the desperate hope I could provide the catharsis of seeing it torn to pieces. It has now been coming on 72 hours, and only now have I recovered enough to be able to do much of anything but scream, “WHAT?!” and “NO!” at the screen. We had a long discussion about what in the twelve hells this video even is. A surreal, dadaist parody so obscure that our brains aren’t operating on enough levels to comprehend it? The Instagram lifehack equivalent of those terrifying procedurally-generated animated Youtube videos that farm ad revenue by playing millions of times to babies whose parents left the iPad on autoplay? A coded message designed to activate the combat programming of brainwashed cyborg sleeper agents? A post that slipped through a wormhole from an alternate dimension where the laws of reality are different? An emanation of a vast and alien chaos god? I cannot bring myself to confront the claims in this video in the order they are put forth without losing my will to live after the first one, so I will start with the least crazy and work my way up. Bananas to ripen things: More or less true. You’ll sometimes see advice to cooks to store underripe fruit in a paper bag with one piece of overripe (but not rotten) fruit to ripen it more quickly.Misrepresentations: It will probably take longer than overnight to ripen something as green as some of those tomatoes, and it doesn’t have to be a banana. Coca-cola and milk: The coke is more acidic than the milk and curdles it, resulting in solid globs of milk protein which settle out. The brown dye in the coke sticks to the milk protein globs, leaving the excess liquid more or less clear.Misrepresentations: The video has been enormously sped up, which the editing does not make clear; the reaction takes hours. Ketchup to clean metal: To my mild surprise, this is actually a thing (though you could just make a paste out of salt, flour, and vinegar and scrub with that and not get ketchup stains on everything)…Misrepresentations: …for cleaning copper and bronze. Which the jug shown in the video is not. The acid in the ketchup might take some of the tarnish off, say, aluminum, but at that point you might as well just use vinegar. Sparkling water omelet: Omelet souffles are a thing.Misrepresentations: You… literally do not need the sparkling water… you can just beat the eggs until they’re fluffy… “Warm water clears wax from fruits!”: This is a mysterious and arcane procedure called “washing.”Misrepresentations: I don’t know what the hell they even did to the video on this sequence but as a person who has washed many apples in warm water, it does not look like that and the thin layer of edible wax applied to make them look good in the grocery store does not come off that easily. Sprite to clean earrings: Again, this will take tarnish off some metals just due to the acid, but…Misrepresentations: DO YOU WANT GROSS STICKY EARRINGS AND EAR INFECTIONS? JUST USE VINEGAR WATER. Also, “dirt” is not a kind of molecule. (Incidentally, if the earrings are silver, there is a vastly better method that actually reverses the tarnish instead of removing it.) Insta-freeze bottle: This is a real thing…Misrepresentation: …which absolutely will not happen if you follow their instructions, because a) they neglect to mention an important caveat (the water needs to be purified/distilled) and b) 5 minutes is not long enough for a water bottle to supercool. If you google any of the myriad videos and articles of people doing this trick, you’ll see numbers like “3 hours in the freezer” or “40 minutes in a salted ice bath.” There is video of the trick working. Either that footage was taken from someone else, or they knew how to do it, did it, and then deliberately lied about the time for no apparent reason. Putting a broken plate in milk for two days magically fixes it: To my immense surprise, they didn’t make this one up; the idea is that the milk protein casein can form into a plastic at high temperatures and bind to the ceramic. Googling it turned up some hobbyist potters commenting that they’d used it to salvage things that had cracked slightly in the kiln.Misrepresentations: Once again, they’ve misrepresented the method: everything I saw talking about how to do it said to boil the milk and then soak for an hour, not leave it out for two days like an offering to the pixies. And most of what I saw reported about it also said it only really works on hairline cracks, not full breaks, and doesn’t hold up long-term because the real structural damage isn’t repaired. And may leave a faint and persistent odor of boiled milk. Just use superglue. “Reveal the genetic memory of the honeycomb”: This is the kind of gibberish predicated on so many nonsensical assumptions that unpacking it would be more trouble than it’s worth. Plus, well, I can barely see anything with the low video quality, but what I can see of the vague blur doesn’t look much like a honeycomb in the first place. Suffice to say: “Honey looks like a honeycomb” isn’t even in the ballpark of what’s generally meant by “genetic memory,” what’s generally meant by “genetic memory” is also complete hooey, and fluid dynamics is weird and swirling a thick, viscous, water-soluble liquid with a layer of water on top is going to do weird things. But at least that I could potentially attribute to ignorance rather than deliberate intent to deceive, unlike… Hot coals and peanut butter This is the reason it’s taken me this long to post this. Every time I think about it my soul starts to leave my body. It’s such a mind-boggling level of bullshit that every time I’ve tried to put words around an explanation I’m quickly reduced to staring at the screen and mouthing “No” to myself in a voice of quiet despair, because I can’t even figure out where to start. Well, okay, I guess I might as well start by saying I think their… let’s say inspiration on this was articles about scientists who made diamonds out of peanut butter and carbon dioxide. …With a press that’s designed to recreate the conditions of the earth’s mantle, and which is prone to exploding. So, you know, not something you can do in your kitchen. Unless you have one hell of a kitchen. You can see the direct links to this in the nonsensical claim that this “works” because peanut butter contains carbon dioxide. (It doesn’t, particularly. It’s crushed peanuts mixed with oil. You know what would have a lot of carbon dioxide? The fire you pulled that glowing lump of charcoal out of.) It also mentions “pressure” when no particular pressure is involved, presumably because we’ve all heard about turning coal into diamond under heat and pressure. Chemically speaking, there’s very little to make that crystal out of except carbon, unless you want to posit a mass migration of all the sugar molecules in the peanut butter to the center of the coal. And “carbon crystal” = “diamond,” and do you think if it was that easy to make diamonds they’d be that expensive? I will guarantee you that crystal is a lump of quartz they covered in black crud and then peanut butter to pretend it was the charcoal. But, of course, all of that is irrelevant, because by reblogging this at all, even to performatively despair that the internet does not seem to have come all that far since the days of Infinite Chocolate, I’m playing into their hands. Lifehack clickbait has done this forever- they deliberately seed in wrong or awful advice because people will share that to say how stupid/wrong it is. They led with complete insanity to get attention, and I gave them eyeballs on the video watching this, and I’ll be giving them more from writing this. Maybe I’ll stick to the chaos god theory. It’s less depressing. @ohnofixit I apologize for being stupid enough to believe that video so reblogging the breakdown of why it was wrong. Why you shouldn’t believe everything on the internet. 
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Advice, America, and Apparently: AjA J+ 2 mins AjAJ+ 2 mins #comicCon is underway. With a recent surge in diversifying comic book characters, do you have a new favorite superhero? on is under way with a recent surge in diversifying comic book #Comic characters, do you have a new favorite superhero? Is diversit killing comios? As Aj fanboys but ho. Sorry MARVEL V.P. ADMITS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS KILLED COMIC SALES April 3, 2017 Daniel Greenfield 50 526 While the Marvel-Disney monster has been ruling the box office, Marvel Comics sales have been having serious issues. One obvious factor was trying to force political correctness on readers by replacing Peter Parker, Iron Man, etc with ridiculously politically correct "diverse" versions In a revelation that would surprise no one, comic book readers were not interested in a Muslim Ms. Marvel, a Latino Spider-Man who isn't Peter Parker or the Angela Davis version of Iron Man. And Marvel's VP of Sales made the mistake of admitting that. <p><a href="http://princess-has-a-pen.tumblr.com/post/166223687686/trilllizard420-the1manpizzaparty" class="tumblr_blog">princess-has-a-pen</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://trilllizard420.tumblr.com/post/164525613653/the1manpizzaparty-trilllizard420" class="tumblr_blog">trilllizard420</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://the1manpizzaparty.tumblr.com/post/164445569495/trilllizard420-unicornlordart-well-somebodys" class="tumblr_blog">the1manpizzaparty</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://trilllizard420.tumblr.com/post/164374984198/unicornlordart-well-somebodys-fucking-lying" class="tumblr_blog">trilllizard420</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://unicornlordart.tumblr.com/post/164374320304/well-somebodys-fucking-lying" class="tumblr_blog">unicornlordart</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Well… Somebody’s fucking lying.</p></blockquote> <p>diversity in and of itself doesn’t kill comics, but pointless, endless reboots, massive events that rely on you keeping up with 12 given titles at any time, and constant, badly established legacy characters are why comics are failing</p> <p>not to mention splitting up iconic superhero titles among more than one person at once</p> <p>did you know there’s actually 3 people running around with the Wolverine codename at the moment?</p> <p>Let’s take some examples:</p> <p>Riri Williams popped up with no buildup after Tony Stark got murked, but he was apparently monitoring this 15 year old girl teen prodigy never mentioned before in his comics, entrusted with an AI based on his brain patterns and personality to mentor her.</p> <p>You know, as compared to however fucking many characters they could’ve given his legacy to.</p> <p>Also we’re supposed to believe someone as egotistical and self glorifying as Dr Doom would take on the identity of Iron Man?</p> <p>Please.</p> <p>It’s the same shit as Jane Foster as female Thor, with a healthy combination of plothole.</p> <p>Somehow, a human woman who has not been involved with Thor in way, with a terminal disease that was ravaging her body, somehow ended up ON THE MOON without any protection and managed to pick up Mjolnr and was found Worthy by it after the fight where Thor ceased to be Worthy.</p> <p>Like, you know, instead of Sif, a long time companion of Thor and who can pick up the hammer or Angela, who Marvel had then won a recent legal fight to be able to use….</p> <p>People don’t dislike it because it’s “diversity”</p> <p>They don’t like it because it’s weak, pandering writing that doesn’t stand up to internal logic.</p> <p>Now, an example of this done right is when Sam Wilson, aka, the Falcon, became Captain America</p> <p>for one thing, he was actually established as working closely with Steve Rogers for a long time in the comics before he was given the mantle. By Steve Rogers himself.</p> <p>See, at this point, Rogers got rapidly aged cause his super serum stopped working and he was an old man, so he couldn’t do it any more, but he was still around to give Sam advice and support over comms.</p> <p>But of course, until Marvel actually bothers to learn why people aren’t buying their shit, they’re gonna keep making the same mistakes, as long as they’re insulated by the losses of the MCU and being used by Disney as a vanity press, they’ll never learn and lose more ground to DC and the indies</p> <p>EDIT: Also I totally forgot, unrecognizable new brands they try to create.</p> <p>If your comic customers, as in the customers that go in and buy things, if they go “who’s this” and show you a comic, then they’re probably not gonna pick it up. They’re there to buy Spider-Man, Batman, Wolverine, X-Men, Avengers they can recognize, not fuckin Stardude or whatever odd new thing they’re gonna push is.</p> <p>It’s nothing to do with race of sex of the characters concerned, but if they’ve got no brand recognition to support their solo titles, they’re gonna flounder.</p> <p>Not even getting into the alienating, pointlessly political shite like that infamous Mockingbird “Ask Me About My Feminist Agenda” t-shirt schlock stunt.</p> <p>What’s also more damaging than that is a flippant response to criticism or calling their readership racist assholes on twitter or whatever. That’s a really bad look for an industry professional when you’re not even an artist or a writer as someone essential to a comic book.</p> </blockquote> <p>this person forgot to mention how they shoehorn in unnecessary commentary and subplots no one was looking for. it honestly feels like that sometimes spider man stops mid fight and says “did i mention im a gay POC” (hyperbole but kind of true)</p> </blockquote> <p>this, sadly, is Not Hyperbole with America Chavez</p> </blockquote> <p>And the worst thing is?</p> <p>With tweaking and good writing, Riri and America (what a stupid name) could work.</p> <p>But because Marvel is run by incompetent pandering idiots, they’re the worst ideas to ever come out of the company.</p> </blockquote> <p>I honestly wish Riri had been done well because I don’t mind the concept.</p>
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Baseball, Carrie Fisher, and Complex: <p><a href="https://jackofallwhatsnew.tumblr.com/post/175181801577/an-average-sized-person-ineedfeminismbecuz" class="tumblr_blog">jackofallwhatsnew</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://an-average-sized-person.tumblr.com/post/175180661577/ineedfeminismbecuz-an-average-sized-person" class="tumblr_blog">an-average-sized-person</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://ineedfeminismbecuz.tumblr.com/post/175175790460/an-average-sized-person-celticpyro" class="tumblr_blog">ineedfeminismbecuz</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://an-average-sized-person.tumblr.com/post/175175012287/celticpyro-devil-may-cry-baby" class="tumblr_blog">an-average-sized-person</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://celticpyro.tumblr.com/post/175174833629/devil-may-cry-baby-an-average-sized-person" class="tumblr_blog">celticpyro</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://devil-may-cry-baby.tumblr.com/post/175168215330/an-average-sized-person-fullmetal-fabulous" class="tumblr_blog">devil-may-cry-baby</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://an-average-sized-person.tumblr.com/post/175167710562/fullmetal-fabulous-sleepyyseraph" class="tumblr_blog">an-average-sized-person</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fullmetal-fabulous.tumblr.com/post/174915311987/sleepyyseraph-adamneilcallaby-oarv-going" class="tumblr_blog">fullmetal-fabulous</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://sleepyyseraph.tumblr.com/post/165253576641/adamneilcallaby-oarv-going-through-day-after" class="tumblr_blog">sleepyyseraph</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://adamneilcallaby.tumblr.com/post/162640635063" class="tumblr_blog">adamneilcallaby</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://oarv.tumblr.com/post/157964421887/going-through-day-after-day-of-excruciating-work" class="tumblr_blog">oarv</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>“Going through day after day of excruciating work was almost unbearable. Jack Nicholson’s character had to be crazy and angry all the time. And in my character I had to cry 12 hours a day, all day long, the last nine months straight, five or six days a week. I was there a year and a month, and there must be something to Primal Scream therapy, because after the day was over and I’d cried for my 12 hours … After all that work, hardly anyone even criticized my performance in it, even to mention it, it seemed like. The reviews were all about Kubrick, like I wasn’t there.” - Shelly Duvall, December 1980</p></blockquote> <p>To give a little more perspective on just how horrific this film was, I need to give people some information:</p> <p>Since retiring from acting in 2002, Shelley Duvall has lived a reclusive and isolated life. However, in November of 2016, <i><b>USA Today</b></i> reported that she appeared to be suffering from mental illness. And then later that month, to an incredible amount of hype, Shelley appeared on the <i><b>Dr. Phil</b></i> show where she basically looked unrecognisable, seemed delusional and talked about people trying to kill her. The episode basically confirmed there rumours.<br/></p> <p>You can find videos/clips of the interview on youtube, however I won’t link it because it’s upsetting and disrespectful.</p> <p>After the interview aired, Vivian Kubrick, daughter of <i><b>The Shining</b></i> director Stanley Kubrick, described the interview as “exploitative entertainment” and “appallingly cruel”. The show then received a lot of backlash (rightly so) and a number of other chat shows started discussing it (again, there’s some videos of these on youtube)</p> <p>Now, how does this all connect to <b>The Shining, </b>you ask? To quote Wikipedia:</p> <p>“Jack Nicholson states in the documentary <i><b>Stanley Kubrick: A Life in Pictures</b></i>, that Kubrick was great to work with but that he was “<i>a different director</i>” with Duvall. Because of Kubrick’s methodical nature, principal photography took a <i>year</i> to complete. Kubrick and Duvall <i>argued frequently</i>, although Duvall later said she learned more from working with Kubrick on <i>The Shining</i> than she did on all her earlier films. In order to give <i>The Shining</i> the psychological horror it needed, director Stanley Kubrick <i>antagonised his actors.</i> The film’s script was changed so often that Nicholson stopped reading each draft. Kubrick <i><b>intentionally isolated Duvall and argued with her often.</b></i> Duvall was <i><b>forced to perform the iconic and exhausting baseball bat scene 127 times</b></i>. Afterwards, Duvall presented Kubrick with <i><b>clumps of hair that had fallen out due to the extreme stress of filming</b></i>.”</p> <p>One year of solid filming. She had to cry, panic and be scared for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, nine months straight. She was isolated and antagonised by the director. She had to perform the baseball bat scene 127 times in a row (that’s her crying and screaming, and Jack Nicholson being hit) And to top it all of, Jack and Kubrick get all the attention while she gets ignored?</p> <p>From my own personal experience of mental illness, being exposed to feelings of fear and distress for prolonged periods of time can cause the brain to learn and expect it. I’m not saying that filming <i>The Shining</i> caused Shelley Duvall to develop mental illness, I am <i><b>stating</b></i> that whether the movie brought out an existing condition, or prepared the bed for something to eventually develop, filming <i>The Shining</i> has a direct correlation with Shelley Duvall suffering from mental illness.</p> <p>Next time you watch the movie, bare that in mind. It’s much sadder.</p> <p><i>Side note: Three years prior to filming, her partner of two years, Paul Simon, walked off with her friend <b>Carrie Fisher</b>, after she introduced the two. So there’s that too.</i></p> </blockquote> <p>Far too many directors love/loved tormenting their lead actresses. Hitchcock, Lars von Trier, David O. Russell, Bertolucci, Abdellatif Kechiche, and many more. What’s especially insulting to Duvall is that not only was she subjected to this treatment, but her performance has been largely unappreciated and even often ridiculed. </p> </blockquote> <p>This is why any time people say what a ~masterpiece~ the shining is I have to roll my eyes. It’s especially frustrating when the convo is “lol yeah kubrik was the worst, but made a really good movie.” No, kubrik was awful, it’s awful and it’s shameful to celebrate that, period.</p> </blockquote> <p>(Not so) Fun fact: Stanley Kubrick was a far-right social darwinist who considered democracy “a noble failure”. It shows.</p> </blockquote> <p>Another fun fact: Stephen King HATES Kubrick’s The Shining because of how it portrayed Shelley’s character. He has said that Kubrick’s version made her into a sexist stereotype and not at all like the woman he wrote in his novel.</p> </blockquote> <p style="">God that’s awful.</p> <p>And you know, maybe people didn’t like her performance because she just looked like a wreck constantly, so Kubrick’s “method acting” actually made it worse. <br/></p> </blockquote> <p class="npf_quote" data-npf='{"subtype":"quote"}'>And you somehow have the fucking idiocy to be an anti-feminist?</p> </blockquote> <p>My dude, this has fuck all to do with feminism. Especially third wave feminism.</p> </blockquote> <p class="npf_quote" data-npf='{"subtype":"quote"}'>It has literally everything to do with feminism. Patriarchal society let Kubrick get away with it because he was a Genius™ and turned Shelley Duvall into a punchline.</p> </blockquote> <p>Female actors aren’t the only people who have awful experiences. Male actors have been abused as well and been documented many of times.(<a href="http://madamenoire.com/492931/men-who-were-sexually-assaulted/">x</a>)(<a href="https://screenrant.com/times-actors-were-completely-abused-on-movie-sets/">x</a>) Actors in general has had a history of abuse with their directors, from horrible treatments to sexual abuse for both male and female. Kubrick has abused his male actors too, but of course didn’t know that in our patriarchal society no didn’t you. This has nothing to do with feminism but directors being dicks to their actors for their personal gain or for their art. Get over yourself.</p></blockquote> <p>Directors being cruel megalomaniacs with a God complex is nothing new and certainly not exclusive to female actresses.</p><p>Also</p><p class="npf_quote" data-npf='{"subtype":"quote"}'>Saying everything like this</p><p>doesn’t make your point any stronger <a class="tumblelog" href="https://tmblr.co/mWk_Fago5SyKpyXk-KOUmbw">@an-average-sized-person</a> </p>
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Apparently, Definitely, and Future: penfairy oh! I have to tell you guys a great story one of my professors told me. So he has a friend who is involved in these Shakespeare outreach programs where they try to bring Shakespeare and live theatre to poor and underprivileged groups and teach them about English literature and performing arts and such. On one of their tours they stopped at a young offenders institute for women and they put on a performance of Romeo and Juliet for a group of 16-17 year old girls. It was all going really well and the girls were enjoying and laughing through the first half- because really, the first half is pretty much a comedy-but as the play went on, things started to get quiet. Real quiet. Then it got up to the suicide scene and mutterings broke out and all the girls were nudging each other and looking distressed, and as this teacher observed them, he realised-they didn't know how the play ended. These girls had never been exposed to the story of Romeo and Juliet before, something which he thought was impossible given how ubiquitous it is in our culture. I mean, the prologue even gives the ending away, but of course it doesn't specify exactly how the whole "take their life" thing goes down, so these poor girls had no idea what to expect and were sitting there clinging to hope that Romeo would maybe sit down for a damn minute instead of murdering Paris and chugging poison but BAM he died and they all cried out and then Juliet WOKE UP and they SCREAMED and by the end of the play they were so upset that a brawl nearly broke out, and that's the story of how Shakespeare nearly started a riot at a juvenile detention centre dukeofbookingham Apparently something similar happened during a production of Much Ado at Rikers Island because a bunch of inmates wanted to beat the shit out of Claudio, which is more than fair tbh maha-pambata-is-my-patronus honestly Shakespeare would be so pleased to know his plays were nearly starting brawls centuries into the future jabberwockypie Beating the shit out of Claudio is definitely a fair and reasonable response, honestly Source: penfairy Shakespeare
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