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Barbie, Bitch, and Definitely: gay-son-of-a-pastor: shoptiludropdead: muffinsandmatriarchy: m00nqueer: ok this is “earring magic ken” who was introduced in 1992 (and discontinued shortly thereafter) basically mattel had done a survey and discovered that girls didn’t think ken was “cool” enough SO someone had the bright idea to research coolness by sending people to raves which, at the time, were mostly hosted & attended by gay men. so they went to these raves and took notes on what the fashions were and finally landed on this outfit, mesh shirt & all  this doll became the best selling ken doll in history, mostly because gay men bought it in droves. (many of them said his necklace was supposed to be a cockring) but mattel and a number of parents weren’t very amused and discontinued the doll  OH MY GOD YOU’RE LEAVING OUT THE BEST PART SO MAGIC EARRING KEN. This bitch gay as HELL. supposedly the aforementioned rings on him are for “magic earrings” and clip on charms. These charms are advertised as totally COMPLETELY heterosexual, not gay at ALL, see there’s a Barbie that also has Magic Earring Action with clip on charms! Ken wears them to match, because he’s STRAIGHT Here’s the issue: THERE IS NO MATCHING BARBIE. Magic Earring Ken is out here straight up wearing cock rings on his jacket with a thinly devised advertising ploy to make it SEEM not-gay. But it’s DEFINITELY GAY.(And if you’re thinking, why cock rings? Well way back in 1992 gay culture was HUGE on wearing cock rings, it was the in-style. Everyone who was gay wore one, even women; you sewed them to your leather jacket, and the placement indicated some of your sexual preference. In case you were wondering, Ken is a Bottom.) AND IT GETS BETTER. Magic Earring Ken was on the shelves for six weeks before they pulled him. In that short amount of time? Magic Earring Ken became the BEST SELLING Barbie Doll Mattel has EVER SOLD.LET THAT SINK IN. SIX WEEKS. And now every time these wheezy old hetero windbag execs go to look at their sales board, they’re forever haunted by Magic Earring Ken at the top of their charts. Gay as hell, Cock Ring Bottom Ken, the Best Selling Mattel Doll.Pride. please take the time out of your day to read about Magic Earring Ken™ gay history
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Amazon, Drunk, and Internet: old man bangers @FindusPancake My mum was teaching first holy communion class, and a kid asked her "How many communions do vou have to do before you've eaten a whole Jesus?" 24/3/18, 8:48 am 10K Retweets 35.1K Likes sindri42: xanderbot13: gannayev: spiletta42: ragnell: danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tobaeus: ralfmaximus: nyxetoile: antibutch: thats a valid question A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years. 1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000 But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well? The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood. Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml). So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times. Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33. How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count. Osnap what an excellent question. Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter. 4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds. Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change. @danbensen Full Metal Eucharist The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know. @garpfloyd If you just buy a sack of wafers, that’s just bread. To get the transubstatntiation going you need to have a priest perform the full ritual over them. By which I mean an entire Mass for every like, plateful? If you cut out the songs and use pretty short readings you could probably get one churned out every half-hour or so…

sindri42: xanderbot13: gannayev: spiletta42: ragnell: danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tob...

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