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noctiscorvus: squirenonny: anaryllis: uncommonbish: I can’t count how many times men have humiliated me by “IT’S JUST PERIOD” when looking up this article for clarification i found this one that points out that period pain is actually typically MUCH WORSE than heart attacks - as heart attacks more commonly have dull pains  and, interestingly: Period pain happens mostly because of substances called prostaglandins, Gunter explained in the post. They’re released from the lining of the uterus and make it contract. And during these period contractions, pressure on the uterus can be just as high as it is during the “pushing” stage of labor, she added.“So if you need an analogy to describe period pain,” Gunter wrote, “use labor or cutting your finger off without an anesthetic.” “If you are waiting for terrible, excruciating chest pain to tell you that you are having a heart attack, well, you are going to miss the heart attack,” Gunter wrote. “Heart attacks often produce vague symptoms or mild pain, that is why many people ignore them … In addition, more than 40% of women have no pain with heart attacks. It would be dangerous for women to think that a heart attack should be at least as bad as their menstrual cramps.” ^^^ Important point from that article. It sounds like a dramatic comparison. “Cramps are as bad as heart attacks?!” But not only does it still actually downplay the pain many menstruating people feel, it increases the risk that those same people will ignore a heart attack because it doesn’t hurt enough to worry them. Can I add on that a lot of women think they’re suffering from menstrual cramps and do their best to go about their day when in reality their appendix is seconds away from bursting? This happens a lot. Seriously. : noctiscorvus: squirenonny: anaryllis: uncommonbish: I can’t count how many times men have humiliated me by “IT’S JUST PERIOD” when looking up this article for clarification i found this one that points out that period pain is actually typically MUCH WORSE than heart attacks - as heart attacks more commonly have dull pains  and, interestingly: Period pain happens mostly because of substances called prostaglandins, Gunter explained in the post. They’re released from the lining of the uterus and make it contract. And during these period contractions, pressure on the uterus can be just as high as it is during the “pushing” stage of labor, she added.“So if you need an analogy to describe period pain,” Gunter wrote, “use labor or cutting your finger off without an anesthetic.” “If you are waiting for terrible, excruciating chest pain to tell you that you are having a heart attack, well, you are going to miss the heart attack,” Gunter wrote. “Heart attacks often produce vague symptoms or mild pain, that is why many people ignore them … In addition, more than 40% of women have no pain with heart attacks. It would be dangerous for women to think that a heart attack should be at least as bad as their menstrual cramps.” ^^^ Important point from that article. It sounds like a dramatic comparison. “Cramps are as bad as heart attacks?!” But not only does it still actually downplay the pain many menstruating people feel, it increases the risk that those same people will ignore a heart attack because it doesn’t hurt enough to worry them. Can I add on that a lot of women think they’re suffering from menstrual cramps and do their best to go about their day when in reality their appendix is seconds away from bursting? This happens a lot. Seriously.

noctiscorvus: squirenonny: anaryllis: uncommonbish: I can’t count how many times men have humiliated me by “IT’S JUST PERIOD” when look...

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phantomemes: starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary . ‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’ ‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’ ‘  you are teaching me to love  ’ ‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’ ‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’ ‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’ ‘  you are my good days  ’ ‘  i have been loved dearly  ’ ‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’ ‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’ ‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’ ‘  there will always be another day  ’ ‘  there will always be another mercy  ’ ‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’ ‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’ ‘  i am terrified for you  ’ ‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’ ‘  today i am thankful  ’ ‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’ ‘  come and get me  ’ ‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’ ‘  i think i broke again last night  ’ ‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’ ‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’ ‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’ ‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’ ‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’ ‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’ ‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’ ‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’ ‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’ ‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’ ‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’ ‘  this life is an altar  ’ ‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’ ‘  there is a mountain in me  ’ ‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’ ‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’ ‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’ ‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’ ‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’ ‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’ ‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’ ‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’ ‘  you scare me a little  ’ ‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’ ‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’ ‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’ ‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’ ‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’ ‘  there is never an end  ’ : phantomemes: starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary . ‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’ ‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’ ‘  you are teaching me to love  ’ ‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’ ‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’ ‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’ ‘  you are my good days  ’ ‘  i have been loved dearly  ’ ‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’ ‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’ ‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’ ‘  there will always be another day  ’ ‘  there will always be another mercy  ’ ‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’ ‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’ ‘  i am terrified for you  ’ ‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’ ‘  today i am thankful  ’ ‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’ ‘  come and get me  ’ ‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’ ‘  i think i broke again last night  ’ ‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’ ‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’ ‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’ ‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’ ‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’ ‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’ ‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’ ‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’ ‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’ ‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’ ‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’ ‘  this life is an altar  ’ ‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’ ‘  there is a mountain in me  ’ ‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’ ‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’ ‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’ ‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’ ‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’ ‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’ ‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’ ‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’ ‘  you scare me a little  ’ ‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’ ‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’ ‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’ ‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’ ‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’ ‘  there is never an end  ’

phantomemes: starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses...

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quicksillver: rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter: quicksillver: [ID two versions of the same inked drawing of the comic versions of Clint Barton and Bucky Barnes. One is colored, the other is black and white. Bucky has on a blue jacket and tac pants. He’s also wearing a belt that’s attached to a thigh holster and a shoulder holster. His right arm is draped around Clint’s shoulders. His head is tilted and he has a small smirk on his face. Clint is dressed in a tight-fitting long sleeved purple shirt with his light purple chevron on his chest. He has olive green joggers on and a hip quiver. He’s holding his right arm close to him and has a sort of shy or embarrassed look on his face. end ID] I thought Clint’s chest chevron was a boob window in the uncoloured version XD [ID same drawing as above except now Clint’s chevron is a titty window, like it should be. end ID] : quicksillver: rise-up-ting-ting-like-glitter: quicksillver: [ID two versions of the same inked drawing of the comic versions of Clint Barton and Bucky Barnes. One is colored, the other is black and white. Bucky has on a blue jacket and tac pants. He’s also wearing a belt that’s attached to a thigh holster and a shoulder holster. His right arm is draped around Clint’s shoulders. His head is tilted and he has a small smirk on his face. Clint is dressed in a tight-fitting long sleeved purple shirt with his light purple chevron on his chest. He has olive green joggers on and a hip quiver. He’s holding his right arm close to him and has a sort of shy or embarrassed look on his face. end ID] I thought Clint’s chest chevron was a boob window in the uncoloured version XD [ID same drawing as above except now Clint’s chevron is a titty window, like it should be. end ID]
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cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER : cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

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ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this : ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this

ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: Th...

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earthsong9405: All done with Urbosa’s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didn’t change too much but I gave her a slightly different hairstyle, some tusks (as is natural for Gerudo in my headcanon), and a brand new outfit! She has such lovely colors to work with, I love her so much ;-;But I’m sure ya don’t wanna hear me babble about how enjoyable her design is. So, let’s go straight into the headcanon! <:————————--Urbosa is the current chief of the Gerudo and serves as the acting Champion for them as well. As a Champion in this timeline, she holds a key component in gaining access to Old Hyrule-”Champion” in this timeline doesn’t fully hold the same function as it once did in BotW. Instead of being chosen to pilot the Divine Beasts, a Champion are a handful of chosen warriors that serve as Hyrule’s best line of defense against any threat. Despite every group of peoples having their own form of governing, culture, and way of life, all of them are still united under the banner of Hyrule, and the Champions could be the physical representation of this tight alliance. A Champion may not necessarily have a lot of political power by themselves but what they represent and what they stand for still puts them in a high position in social status and therefore their word often holds significant weight. As not only the chief of Gerudo but also their Champion, Urbosa is in a position of having more power than what would typically be seen for a Chief. Thankfully though, she doesn’t abuse it and leads her people well: there’s a reason she’s so well respected and loved among not only the Gerudo, but across Hyrule as well.-As one of the original Champions, Urbosa retains many of her memories from her past life, including what ultimately led to her death-I’ve always liked the idea of Urbosa being a motherly figure to just about anyone she meets, but that also includes being an actual mother! Her kid in this headcanon is Riju <:-While Urbosa isn’t actually related to Ganondorf, he refers to her as his “aunt”. Of all the Gerudo in his life, Urbosa was a consistent presence, often visiting him and his parents at their secluded home in the middle of Korok Forest. She’d bring stories of adventure and gifts and even helped train him to be a skilled warrior, but as much as she loves the boy her visits held an alternative motive.-As a whole, no one really knows of Ganondorf’s past as being the vessel for the Demon King, but if anyone would have any idea about it it’d certainly be the Sheikah and the Gerudo. As per tradition in their culture, a newborn Gerudo must be brought forth to a shaman for examination to ensure their health and to fully proclaim their citizenship as a new member of the tribe. When Ganondorf was examined, the first thing the shaman noticed was the peculiar mark upon his chest: a birthmark in the shape of the wound that struck Demise down all those thousands of years ago. In seeing the mark the shaman took the baby away from his mother and brought it to the council and Urbosa to discuss what to do with it.The Gerudo are intimately familiar with the history surrounding the Demon King and how he stole one of their own, so the mark was very telling of what the child once was. And given the long stretch of peace Hyrule was experiencing it understandably buzzed some fear among the elder council. Many were afraid his birth meant an end to that peace, that the Demon King had somehow reincarnated once more and meant to bring hell back to Hyrule.So in response to all of this, the elders argued amongst each other about a solution. Many ruled the boy too dangerous to allow him to grow older and demanded he be… dealt with. Others deemed that too cruel, even for a damned child, and suggested they simply leave him somewhere far away: let nature decide if he lives or dies. But, as chief and Gerudo Champion of Hyrule, it ultimately came down to Urbosa’s choice. She held the babe her council hissed demon, stared at the birthmark that marked him as a vessel, heard the pleading sobs of the boy’s mother over the whispers of “we’ll make it quick, but we mustn’t let him live”, “he is dangerous, he will bring doom to us all” “end it now while he is weak”.Stared at the supposed demon child, who simply yawned in her grasp and blinked up at her with innocent, yellow eyes. She met the Demon King once: she had stared into that monster’s eyes while she fought it to her death in her past lifetime. She knows soulless eyes when she sees them… and this baby didn’t have those eyes.So Urbosa made her decision: the boy will not die. It was largely met with disbelief and anger: you will doom us all! they said. Despite Urbosa staying firm in her decision, it took her days of arguing with the council and the aid of a Sheikah Seer (who examined the child themselves and confirmed that he didn’t house the Demon King) to finally reach a compromise: the boy will live, but he can’t live among the Gerudo. He had to live with his mother in exile, and his growth had to be monitored as a precaution. The monitoring came in the form of Urbosa’s frequent visits.-Urbosa is close friends with Zelda’s parents and is also something of an “aunt” figure to Zelda as well; Zelda absolutely adores Urbosa and even sees her as more of a secondary mother figure than anything.————————————Aaaaaaaaand that’s all I have for Urbosa for now! If I think of anything else I’ll be sure to add more, and of course if ya have questions you’re more than free to ask them. <: Otherwise I hope you enjoy! ^.^: earthsong9405: All done with Urbosa’s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didn’t change too much but I gave her a slightly different hairstyle, some tusks (as is natural for Gerudo in my headcanon), and a brand new outfit! She has such lovely colors to work with, I love her so much ;-;But I’m sure ya don’t wanna hear me babble about how enjoyable her design is. So, let’s go straight into the headcanon! <:————————--Urbosa is the current chief of the Gerudo and serves as the acting Champion for them as well. As a Champion in this timeline, she holds a key component in gaining access to Old Hyrule-”Champion” in this timeline doesn’t fully hold the same function as it once did in BotW. Instead of being chosen to pilot the Divine Beasts, a Champion are a handful of chosen warriors that serve as Hyrule’s best line of defense against any threat. Despite every group of peoples having their own form of governing, culture, and way of life, all of them are still united under the banner of Hyrule, and the Champions could be the physical representation of this tight alliance. A Champion may not necessarily have a lot of political power by themselves but what they represent and what they stand for still puts them in a high position in social status and therefore their word often holds significant weight. As not only the chief of Gerudo but also their Champion, Urbosa is in a position of having more power than what would typically be seen for a Chief. Thankfully though, she doesn’t abuse it and leads her people well: there’s a reason she’s so well respected and loved among not only the Gerudo, but across Hyrule as well.-As one of the original Champions, Urbosa retains many of her memories from her past life, including what ultimately led to her death-I’ve always liked the idea of Urbosa being a motherly figure to just about anyone she meets, but that also includes being an actual mother! Her kid in this headcanon is Riju <:-While Urbosa isn’t actually related to Ganondorf, he refers to her as his “aunt”. Of all the Gerudo in his life, Urbosa was a consistent presence, often visiting him and his parents at their secluded home in the middle of Korok Forest. She’d bring stories of adventure and gifts and even helped train him to be a skilled warrior, but as much as she loves the boy her visits held an alternative motive.-As a whole, no one really knows of Ganondorf’s past as being the vessel for the Demon King, but if anyone would have any idea about it it’d certainly be the Sheikah and the Gerudo. As per tradition in their culture, a newborn Gerudo must be brought forth to a shaman for examination to ensure their health and to fully proclaim their citizenship as a new member of the tribe. When Ganondorf was examined, the first thing the shaman noticed was the peculiar mark upon his chest: a birthmark in the shape of the wound that struck Demise down all those thousands of years ago. In seeing the mark the shaman took the baby away from his mother and brought it to the council and Urbosa to discuss what to do with it.The Gerudo are intimately familiar with the history surrounding the Demon King and how he stole one of their own, so the mark was very telling of what the child once was. And given the long stretch of peace Hyrule was experiencing it understandably buzzed some fear among the elder council. Many were afraid his birth meant an end to that peace, that the Demon King had somehow reincarnated once more and meant to bring hell back to Hyrule.So in response to all of this, the elders argued amongst each other about a solution. Many ruled the boy too dangerous to allow him to grow older and demanded he be… dealt with. Others deemed that too cruel, even for a damned child, and suggested they simply leave him somewhere far away: let nature decide if he lives or dies. But, as chief and Gerudo Champion of Hyrule, it ultimately came down to Urbosa’s choice. She held the babe her council hissed demon, stared at the birthmark that marked him as a vessel, heard the pleading sobs of the boy’s mother over the whispers of “we’ll make it quick, but we mustn’t let him live”, “he is dangerous, he will bring doom to us all” “end it now while he is weak”.Stared at the supposed demon child, who simply yawned in her grasp and blinked up at her with innocent, yellow eyes. She met the Demon King once: she had stared into that monster’s eyes while she fought it to her death in her past lifetime. She knows soulless eyes when she sees them… and this baby didn’t have those eyes.So Urbosa made her decision: the boy will not die. It was largely met with disbelief and anger: you will doom us all! they said. Despite Urbosa staying firm in her decision, it took her days of arguing with the council and the aid of a Sheikah Seer (who examined the child themselves and confirmed that he didn’t house the Demon King) to finally reach a compromise: the boy will live, but he can’t live among the Gerudo. He had to live with his mother in exile, and his growth had to be monitored as a precaution. The monitoring came in the form of Urbosa’s frequent visits.-Urbosa is close friends with Zelda’s parents and is also something of an “aunt” figure to Zelda as well; Zelda absolutely adores Urbosa and even sees her as more of a secondary mother figure than anything.————————————Aaaaaaaaand that’s all I have for Urbosa for now! If I think of anything else I’ll be sure to add more, and of course if ya have questions you’re more than free to ask them. <: Otherwise I hope you enjoy! ^.^

earthsong9405: All done with Urbosa’s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didn’t change too...

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xaira-gabvi: bleepblopbloop56: transmxnfenris: eroticcannibal: sunsblush: friendlytrender: smokeytoastyghosty: Me: yep Me: sees trans man not binding and one in a dress Me : nope! You didn’t have to draw a trans man with boobs sis, thanks for the dysphoria babeey if u get dysphoric when u see a boob that’s understandable but its also your problem to deal with n u don’t get to shame other trans dudes for drawing people like them with visible breasts. as much as it sucks, most trans men do have non flat chests and it’s not a bad thing to draw trans men with breasts (unless ur sexualising them, or ur drawing a real life trans man who’s dysphoric about his chest). also u can’t have a go at op for drawing a trans man without a binder bc it makes u dysphoric n then call him sis. dont be a fuckin hypocrite dude. anyways good post op some trans men can’t bind for medical reasons. some don’t prefer to bind bc it’s uncomfortable, and hot, and sweaty!!! some trans men arent that bothered by chest dysphoria! trans people are not required to attempt conformity to be valid in their identity. no one is required to try and “look cis”. that’s your own shit to deal with. Thank you for drawing trans men who aren’t binding and who wear feminine clothes, OP, seeing trans people like myself really helps with my dysphoria I can’t bind because of my severe asthma and pain in my ribs from fibromyalgia. So seeing trans men who aren’t binding really helps my crippling dysphoria. Thanks op (also disabled trans men aaaaaah! 💖) Also some trans men cant afford a binder, or are closeted, or itt isnt safe where they live to bind, binding isnt a necessity v Also trans men, just like cis men, are allowed to wear dresses. : xaira-gabvi: bleepblopbloop56: transmxnfenris: eroticcannibal: sunsblush: friendlytrender: smokeytoastyghosty: Me: yep Me: sees trans man not binding and one in a dress Me : nope! You didn’t have to draw a trans man with boobs sis, thanks for the dysphoria babeey if u get dysphoric when u see a boob that’s understandable but its also your problem to deal with n u don’t get to shame other trans dudes for drawing people like them with visible breasts. as much as it sucks, most trans men do have non flat chests and it’s not a bad thing to draw trans men with breasts (unless ur sexualising them, or ur drawing a real life trans man who’s dysphoric about his chest). also u can’t have a go at op for drawing a trans man without a binder bc it makes u dysphoric n then call him sis. dont be a fuckin hypocrite dude. anyways good post op some trans men can’t bind for medical reasons. some don’t prefer to bind bc it’s uncomfortable, and hot, and sweaty!!! some trans men arent that bothered by chest dysphoria! trans people are not required to attempt conformity to be valid in their identity. no one is required to try and “look cis”. that’s your own shit to deal with. Thank you for drawing trans men who aren’t binding and who wear feminine clothes, OP, seeing trans people like myself really helps with my dysphoria I can’t bind because of my severe asthma and pain in my ribs from fibromyalgia. So seeing trans men who aren’t binding really helps my crippling dysphoria. Thanks op (also disabled trans men aaaaaah! 💖) Also some trans men cant afford a binder, or are closeted, or itt isnt safe where they live to bind, binding isnt a necessity v Also trans men, just like cis men, are allowed to wear dresses.
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07 : How TO GIVEA DoG A PIL opyrighted Material Sit on the floor in front of your dog. Place smaller dogs on your lap. How to Clean Dog Poop Off a Shoe 2 Grasp the dog's head using your nondominant hand. Be firm but not harsh. Place your hand on top of the muz- zle, with your thumb on one side and fingers on the other. 3 Raise the dog's nose. Squeeze firmly behind the canine or "eye" teeth until the jaw opens Place the pill between the thumb and forefinger of your dominant hand. Use the hand's other three fingers to open the lower jaw further. Use a stick to scrape out poop from beneath the tread of your shoe. 5 Place the pill far back in the dog's mouth. Close the mouth. Tilt up the chin. Keep the mouth closed and stroke the throat to help with swallowing. BGive the dog a treat. BE AWARE! Blowing on the nose may stimulate the dog to swallow. Hiding the pill in peanut butter or some other treat the dog covets is the easiest way to administer a pill However, some canines become quite adept at eating the treat and leaving the pill. Use your band to keep the dog's mouth closed after placing the pill in bis mouth. Drag sneaker though grass or over edged curb. Dip shoe bottom into park fountain Page 27 Dry the dog. Emergency Rain Gear 7 Repeat washing, if necessary. This treatment can irritate a dog's skin, so wait at least 48 hours before bathing a second time. Cut or tear holes in a plastic shopping bag for the dog's paws and head. Use a kitchen- or yard-sized bag for larger breeds. Carefully slip the bag over the dog's head, and ease the front and WARNING! Skunk spray consists of the ejected contents of the animal's anal glands. A freshly sprayed canine can transfer the scent to carpet furniture, and anything else he brushes against. The odor can cause nausea and dizziness in humans. THANK YOU Discard the dog's collar or harness. It will spread skunk odor to anything it touches and isn't worth the extensive offort it would take HAVE A NICE DAY to deodorize it. back paws through the Skunks can carry rabies. Examine your pet for bites holes. How To GIVE A DoG CPR Position the dog on her side. The back is better for barrel-chested breeds. Make sure the dog is on a firm surface. 2 Kneel next to the dog. B Compress the chest. For small dogs, place your palm and fingertips over the ribs at the point where the elbow meets the chest. Compress the chest approximately one inch, twice per second. Alternate every five compressions with one breath. For medium to large dogs, extend your elbows and cup your hands on top of each other. Place hands over the ribs at the point where the dog's elbows meet the chest; then compress it two to three inches, two times per second. Alternate every five com pressions with one breath. For dogs that weigh more than 100 pounds, compress the chest two or three inches once per second, alternating every 10 compressions with a breath. How To GET RiD oF SKUNK ODOR ON YOUR Doc Keep the dog outside. 2 Flush the dog's eyes with water. 4 Check for a hearthbeat. 3 Change your clothes and remove jewelry. The compound used to remove skunk odor 4 ric and, in contact with metals, irritate skin. After one minute, listen for a heartbeat. If none is found, continue with compressions. discolor fab- can 4 Prepare special odor-removing wash. Mix 1 quart of 3 percent hydrogen peroxide with 4 cup of baking soda and 1 teaspoon of liquid dish soap. Ingredients will bubble furiously when combined. This quantity is suf- ficient for a medium-sized dog. A larger canine may need To give artificial respiration, tilt the dog's bead back, place hand around the muzzle, put your mouth over the nose, and breathe into the dog's more. 5 Apply mixture immediately. Use the odor-removing compound while still foaming, as this is when it is most effective. Place dog in bathtub or outdoor tub and work mixture into fur, avoiding mouth and cyes. Leave for several minutes or until the foaming stops, then rinse thoroughly. Reapply if odor persists. nose. K YO A NICE novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook -$5.07
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I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it: 12:36 o s O NO Sl A 42% 4 < Jane Ari Pralle Chat Yeter 2u You iked Jane's phota Yetering onu I can't resist a good bad Christmas sweater What should your custom poem be about Ooh surprise me But that could be copy pasted and that's no tun Gimme something suuuuper specific And then I need a format choice toa, between Dr. Seuss poem, Shakespearean sonnet, or something custom Yesterty For the spirit of things, that same Christmas sweater. I think sonnet or Seuss style would be Interesting Sommet, final answer Sonnet Veetery 0PM I enjoy al these amusingly specitic soloctionsl Holiday sweaters. are my shit. Sit tight| Engaging ryicality Should Rudolph pause before a red so fine? Esch every handmade brickline laid with care No sweater on this earth match'd her desigrn, Doff polyester now for wool so fair. Nostalgic evenings end by fire's dance, Unending chest nuts roasting on the flame Doth time unerringly from thus advance? Enmesh fair memries in your fabric's frame. Such understated beauty holds the wreath, Just lookl espy her face for beauty more. And yonder ribbons dance and light bequeath, No trash pullover could so highly soar Each hearth lacks warmth in absence of such heart. Ere onto spring l'd never be apart. Tuday AM That was very well thought out, I really, really liked it Trsday M Haha thankall But just wait until you read the first ietter of each ine in the sonnet Taday SAM Dammit You're too clever Ch if anly it ended there. See the message I sent after your requesta, the one about the amusingly specific selections? Resd the first letter of each word in that sentence Tulay aAM Did not see that one coming Taday AM Oh, it only gets worse. The message after that one, starting with "holiday sweaters". Write down the first letter of each word, but than read it backwards Any other coded messages? Keeps on going fm afraid Check out the sonnet again. Read the first letter of the "second" word in each line Fedau AM Well played (at this point she guessed what's ahead and also did this one) I got that one Unsurprisingly there's also a secret message it you read the first letter of the third word in each ine Probably for good measure you could olso read the first letter of every message i sent "after the sonnet Th SENDNODES NE Sthash especttuy the hmanher Degr I thought I’d peaked before, but I was so, so wrong… This clearly is the best I’ll ever manage. I can’t ever hope to match it
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Welcome to tinder the newest text based RPG: Today 19 AM Choose your own adventure: match on tinder, you choose to... A Ghost him, proving his fear of the paranormal to be well founded. B. Set up a date but never follow through and just kind of talik for 2: months C.Have a deep and meaningful conversation D. Do tinder things E. Explore the cave for clues Today 9.20 AM Ya know usually l'd pick B because that's how it tends to go most of time but I'm feelin GOOD and LUCKY today so i You explore the cave. You find a tarch and light it. It's raining outside. You then choose to A Leave the cave and walk outsi de. B. Delve deeper into the cave C Check to see what else is in the entrance I love to delve. B You delve deeper into the cave as the light dissapears behind you. You come across a fork in the cave an you A Go left towards the sound of water B. Go right towards a faint light Today 124 PM I'm feeling kinda perched, A You enter a cavem with a waterfall flowing into a crystal clear pool. You then.. A Get into the water B. Try to climb up the waterfall C Look around In the cavem D. Go beck Today 3 29 PM B Today 0 PM You go to the waterfall, grab a rock to climb but it's slippery and you fall into the weter.. A You swim to share B. Dive down and explore C Drown Teday 8.58 PM B! You talke a gulp of air and dive down You reach the bottom of the pool and see a lava tube that looks like it loads to a place to breath, a glittering sword and a treasure chest. You choose to.. A Go in the tube and explore some more B. Grab the sword C. Try to open the chest D. Ascend to the top of the pool Stitch It! You enter the tube and find a new cavern filed with air with a single sliver of moonlight cutting throigh the center of the cavern that connects to the outside. You . A Check out the discarded journal sitting besides the moonlight sliver B. Stand inside of the sliver C Attempt to figure aut if there is a code in the stalagtites on the ceiling Today 9:33 PM HAHAHA this is getting wild ummm A You open the joumal and can see nates scrawled all over but the darkest says beware the light. On the next page is a code number but you can't make it out in the low light A Throw somath ing into the maonlight and see what happens B. Grab the joumal and go back to the previous cavern C. Toss the joumal aside and look at those stalagtites D. Try to get your wet torch to light somehow C You study the stalagtites, they dont meen anything, what did you cxpect? You pick the journal back up and... See above A B. D Today 10 4 PM You grab a rock and throw it into the moonlight beam, it catches fire lighting up the carven before it disintegrates away. Having sean this you... A Throw all the rocks you can in the beam to watch the fireworkss B.Put the end of your torch in the maonlught beam C. Go back in the upper cavern B! You light the torch! You can now see cvarything cloarly. You now. A Take the journal back out and try) to read it again B. Look around the cavern to see if you missed anything C Stick your hand in the moon beam to see if it's hat Honestly...c You stick your hand in the moon beam... Surprise it's hot. Having learned that the fite setting thing is hot you then.. A Take the journal back out and try to read it again B. Look around the cavern to see if you missed anything C. Stick your hand in the moon beam again, and science Stitch It! НАНАН can I do C and then A Your hand burns more and you can't feel your fingers anymore considering the magic fire thing this makes sense and you record it for scientific rigor. You take the journal back out and read it under the Iight You read the code that was written in it and the code is. A Sabrina's number B. 1234567890 IM INTRUIGED NOW A!! You mamorize the number then dive back into the water and approch the chest at the bottom of the lake and put in a tencdigit code. That code is.. Welcome to tinder the newest text based RPG

Welcome to tinder the newest text based RPG

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