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theghostofallexander: zodiacbaby: prominent-nipple: oh my gOD LMFAOOLL WHAAATT oh my god : Paris Hilton KA PA D.O.B. 1981-02-17 Soclalite Actor TV Personality MEAN 33% OK 10% NICE 67% Best known for: The Simple Life Hilton sex tape Paris Hilton's My New BFF SHARE YOUR STORY Stories Random Things My Step Sister Told Me Some random things told to me by my step sister who used to work for Paris: Paris has a room full of vintage radios from ww2 aircraft and the like. She restores them. There is always a smell of burning coming from the room. Nobody is allowed in. She has a telescope on a platform. My sister was often required to climb onto the roof with beef sandwiches and a flask of tea as Paris was up there looking at the sky. She also has 100's of notebooks full of numbers which somehow relate to what she sees through the telescope Behind closed doors Paris only wears pajamas which she gets delivered from the British store Marks and Spencers She doesn't come across as dim like she does when the cameras are around. She's very quiet. She bought my sister a playstation and some reindeer socks for Christmas Saved Me In Germany And Towed Me To A Garage My car broke down on an autobahn in Germany. Managed to coast to sort of layby thing with a burger van and toilets in it. I was in a bad state because I can't speak any German, my phone had no credit and I didn't have my breakdown details with me so I had no idea what to do. I unsuccessfully asked the guy in the burger van for help and he apparently didn't speak English so rather pathetically I started to cry. Then this big old American guy appeared and offered me a cup of tea in his motor home (it wasn't proper tea but that's besides the point). In the van was another guy and friggin Paris Hilton! I kid ye not. She was sweet and made me a sandwich and gave me a hug then proceeded to talk to me for 30mins about some old radio bits she'd bought in some show in Freidrichshafen. I didn't understand most of it. She said that when she wasn't working she liked to drive about Europe going to radio and air shows as if she put a hat on nobody ever recognised her. Then they towed me to a garage at about 40km per hour (scarey stuff on the autobahn). Oh yeah and she sat in my car and asked if it was ok before she smoked. theghostofallexander: zodiacbaby: prominent-nipple: oh my gOD LMFAOOLL WHAAATT oh my god
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deducecanoe: ourobousfamilia: deducecanoe: chickwithmonkey: potootagath: wingleader: wakeupslaves: the-goddamazon: LOL man. never forget white people did nothing first neither the best, they sleep and eat false propaganda, Ugh, why the shit does that have to turn into a race thing? Why does EVERYTHING have to turn into a race thing? because white people have made sure that everything is about race as proved by the fact that when you say explorer, you think of a bunch of white guys walking the world and discovering it ~exotic wonders~ even though Zheng He travelled through Asia, to the Middle East, and even East Africa. But you’d likely never heard of him before. Same reason you never heard of Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, an Arab traveller who, as early as the 10th century, went to the Volga area for diplomatic reasons. He wrote about it, much as Marco Polo would do later for his own travels, and is one of our sources on what viking were like (and by all accounts, he wrote about them more accurately than western scholars of the same period did) Oh, or Ibn Battuta who travelled throughout Africa long before europeans did, and even went to Europe himself. And that’s just some example of Muslim medieval travel writers Everything is about race because white people keep telling everyone that their race is the only one who every got anything done. i have heard of precisely zero non-european explorers ever in my life, and that fucking sucks. this exhibit is amazing and i need to learn more. That boat is a frickin aircraft carrier comparatively. Holy crap. And no. Never heard a peep. Zhenghe went to over 40 countries in Asia and Africa and probably went even further, but I didn’t encounter that in history books before. He brought gifts from China to every country he went to and everyone loved him. It was just like “Hey, I’m here with a water-helicarrier and a gift,” and the kings of every country were lilke “holy shit son well here have a giraffe.” There are paintings depicting him leading a giraffe as well. Check him out guys, he’s really cool That is so awesome. Fuck western history. This is the real shit. : بوكسيلوس SPLUS Ma A 83INT 14th century Chinese explorer Zheng He's ship compared to Columbus's. deducecanoe: ourobousfamilia: deducecanoe: chickwithmonkey: potootagath: wingleader: wakeupslaves: the-goddamazon: LOL man. never forget white people did nothing first neither the best, they sleep and eat false propaganda, Ugh, why the shit does that have to turn into a race thing? Why does EVERYTHING have to turn into a race thing? because white people have made sure that everything is about race as proved by the fact that when you say explorer, you think of a bunch of white guys walking the world and discovering it ~exotic wonders~ even though Zheng He travelled through Asia, to the Middle East, and even East Africa. But you’d likely never heard of him before. Same reason you never heard of Ahmad Ibn Fadlan, an Arab traveller who, as early as the 10th century, went to the Volga area for diplomatic reasons. He wrote about it, much as Marco Polo would do later for his own travels, and is one of our sources on what viking were like (and by all accounts, he wrote about them more accurately than western scholars of the same period did) Oh, or Ibn Battuta who travelled throughout Africa long before europeans did, and even went to Europe himself. And that’s just some example of Muslim medieval travel writers Everything is about race because white people keep telling everyone that their race is the only one who every got anything done. i have heard of precisely zero non-european explorers ever in my life, and that fucking sucks. this exhibit is amazing and i need to learn more. That boat is a frickin aircraft carrier comparatively. Holy crap. And no. Never heard a peep. Zhenghe went to over 40 countries in Asia and Africa and probably went even further, but I didn’t encounter that in history books before. He brought gifts from China to every country he went to and everyone loved him. It was just like “Hey, I’m here with a water-helicarrier and a gift,” and the kings of every country were lilke “holy shit son well here have a giraffe.” There are paintings depicting him leading a giraffe as well. Check him out guys, he’s really cool That is so awesome. Fuck western history. This is the real shit.
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lolzandtrollz:Big Red Dog: Clifford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog. Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem. Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town. Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townstfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll. Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white. The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two. "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident. "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously Ignoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually" He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you." "You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. VIA THEMETAPICTURE.COM lolzandtrollz:Big Red Dog

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Survivorship bias: marzipanandminutiae reading letters from 1818 is wild "it's that time of the year when I get colds for no apparent reason again" have some Clairitin hon marzipanandminutiae But also we're not becoming allergic to everything nowadays like certain white moms fear. Allergies have always existed. They were just talked about differently Like "oh clams always turn my stomach-". Or "what a pity he was taken from us at age 5" rosslynpaladin "Well we didn't have all this fancy chronic illness stuff in the Olden Days, what did people do then??" They died, Ashleigh rowantheexplorer This is a picture tracking bullet holes on Allied planes that encountered Nazi anti-aircraft fire in WW2 At first, the military wanted to reinforce those areas, because obviously that's where the ground crews observed the most damage on returning planes. Until Hungarian-born Jewish mathematician Abraham Wald pointed out that this was the damage on the planes that made it home, and the Allies should armor the areas where there are no dots at all, because those are the places where the planes won't survive when hit. This phenomenon is called survivorship bias, a logic error where you focus on things that survived when you should really be looking at things that didn't. We have higher rates of mental illness now? Maybe that's because we've stopped killing people for being "possessed" or "witches." Higher rate of allergies? Anaphylaxis kills, and does so really fast if you don't know what's happening. Higher claims of rape? Maybe victims are less afraid of coming forward. These problems were all happening before, but now we've reinforced the medical and social structures needed to help these people survive. And we still have a long way to go. Source: marzipanandminutiae 80,557 notes Survivorship bias
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I Would Watch It: sistercrow stormcloak Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident." "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. mo re Fun on likealaugh.org I Would Watch It

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Mechanic with a good sense of humor: edbx After every flight, FedEx pilots fill out a form, known as a "gripe sheet" to tell mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics fix the problem, and then document their repairs on the form Here are some actual maintenance problems submitted by the pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked by an "S") by maintenance engineers, who by the way have a sense if humour P. Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Left inside main tyre almost replaced. P Test flight OK, auto-land very rough S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft P Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit P Dead bugs on windshield S: Live bugs on back order P Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Can't reproduce problem on the ground. P. Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level P Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick S: That's what friction locks are for. P. IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode P Suspect crack in windshielod S: Suspect you're right P Number 3 engine missing S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious P. Target radar hums S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P Mouse in cockpit S: Cat installed in cockpit P Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget. Mechanic with a good sense of humor

Mechanic with a good sense of humor

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